Matthew's hand suddenly jumped to his chest, and Gilbert knew something was off at once. Leaning to the side, Matthew took a shallow gasp of air before coughing. Marie jumped to her feet, reaching over and taking a hold of her son's wrist.

"You okay?" She asked, and Matthew nodded, taking another breath, but this time it was deeper. His hand remained clutched tight to his chest, and Gilbert could feel Ludwig looking at him, but he had eyes only for Matthew. Alfred was on his feet too, and he had an arm wrapped around his twin's shoulders as Matthew begun breathing deeply in and out, in and out. The merry Christmas atmosphere suddenly seemed intense and heavy, and Gilbert was only vaguely aware of the fact that his hands were clenching the edge of the table tightly. He felt Ludwig place a light hand on his shoulder, and then on his own hand, but Gilbert barely felt it, barely felt anything. For a moment, Matthew's hair was blonder and shorter, his eyes blue like their father's, but Gilbert blinked and Matthew looked the same as ever.

It took a few minutes to realize that the Canadian was talking to him.

"Gilbert? Are you okay?" Matthew's face was pale, and his eyes were trained on Gilbert. Ludwig stood up, bringing Gilbert with him by grabbing him from his underarm, and he said,

"Bathroom."

The brothers left the dining room and stood there for a moment, and Gilbert finally remembered to breathe. Inhaling, he focused on Ludwig, who looked a little shaken, but concerned.

"Are you alright?" Ludwig asked him quietly, and Gilbert was aware that his voice sounded faraway and distant.

"No," Gilbert answered honestly, "I think...I want to go home."

Ludwig still looked concerned, but he nodded.

"Right, we'll ask the Jones to drive us back to-"

Gilbert's hand gripped Ludwig's upper arm, and he said,

"No, Luddy. Home."

Ludwig's expression softened, and he muttered something before leaving his brother. Within a few moments, he was back.

"Marie's agreed to do it," He said, "And I'm assuming you don't want Matthew to come?"

But Gilbert didn't answer him, only walked to the front door and put on his coat. Marie approached Ludwig and they began to talk in quiet voice, and Gilbert didn't care what they were talking about, even though he knew the subject was of him. Sliding on his boots, he jumped as he felt a hand on his shoulder. Glancing up, he saw Matthew standing there, looking hurt.

"Gilbert?"

Matthew's voice, though hoarse, sounded sharp and clear. The world came back to focus in an instant.

"Yeah, Birdie?"

Matthew stared at Gilbert for a second before lowering his voice, eyebrows drawing together, as he asked,

"Are you...Okay?"

"I'm fine," Gilbert brushed him off, backing away from him a bit, "I'm fine, Birdie, I just...I need to go somewhere, but I'll be right back, okay?..."

Matthew stared at him once again before nodding, and then coming forward and wrapping his arms hesitantly around Gilbert. Gilbert felt oddly heavy, as if he were wearing soaked clothing, as he gently pushed Matthew away from him. Opening the door, he stepped out into the freezing cold and waited for Marie and Ludwig to accompany him.

"Your boyfriend is psycho," Alfred said absentmindedly as he scrolled through his phone, sitting next to Matthew on the couch. Matthew hugged a pillow to his chest, looking a bit put-out.

"Something was wrong," Matthew said quietly. Alfred heard the concern in his brother's voice and looked up, seeing that his twin was visibly bothered.

"It's okay, Mattie," Alfred sat up, placing a hand on his shoulder, "They're with mom, I'm sure they're fine."

"But why did they leave?" Matthew wondered, and Alfred gave a shrug. To heck if he knew. His phone buzzed in his hand, and he quickly checked the message.

(10:38) Everything good?

(10:39) Yeah everything is fine and jolly and dandy arthur except that mattie looks like he just witnessed a cat being sucked into a vacuum cleaner so idk you tell me

(10:41) Tell the poor lad everything's probably fine.

"Arthur says that you worry too much," Alfred murmured to his brother.

"Tell Arthur that he's a fire hazard."

(10:42) He says thanks.

(10:43) That's good. And if he needs anything, he can call me, okay?

(10:44) Omg no youre MY boyfriend.

(10:45) Just pass on the message, will you?

"He says that your mom is a fire hazard."

"Alfred, we have the same mom."

"I'm just passing on the message."

"Tell him that his eyebrows are so thick if he were to shave them he'd have enough hair to create an entire wig," Matthew spat venomously.

(10:47) He says sure thing.

(10:48) Thanks, Alfred, I know I can count on you.

(10:49) Sure

Looking over at his twin again, Alfred noted that he had begun staring blankly at the door, as if expecting it to tell him when Gilbert, Marie, and Lud-whatever would be returning. Setting his phone aside, Alfred gave his brother a light pat before deciding to help his dad with the dishes. He could tell when his brother wanted to be alone, and now was one of those times.

Matthew stared at the door for a solid ten minutes before it finally opened, and the three people he had been waiting for came in, all with pink colored patches on their cheeks from the cold weather. Gilbert looked much better than when he had left, and gave Matthew a light smile as he crossed the room.

"Hey, Birdie."

Matthew felt a bit of anger at his sudden light-heartedness, but squashed it down as he smiled back. Ludwig looked solemn and sat down on the couch opposite of Matthew, and Marie went to, presumably, look for Jack.

"Where'd you guys go?" Matthew asked as Gilbert sat down on the couch next to him, pressing himself against the Canadian to gather warmth.

"Graveyard," Gilbert said, "the one where my parents are buried."

"Oh," Matthew's voice sounded small.

The rest of the evening was spent awkwardly, and when it was time for Ludwig and Gilbert to go, Matthew only said a quick 'bye' to Gilbert before turning his back on him and going upstairs.

Monday

(8:18) Mon ami, mind telling us what transpired? You didn't look too happy.

(8:19) we are worried amigo! o(╥﹏╥)o

(8:19) Guys stfu Im in the bathroom.

(8:20) I don't care. What happened?

(8:21) I just freaked out ok?

(8:22) Define 'freaked out.'

(8:23) did you do the macarena in a tutu with a sword? ⇎_⇎

(8:24) What no

(8:25) What the fuck even is that face Toni?

(8:26) youll never take me alive ̿̿'̿'\̵͇̿̿\=(⊙⌢⊙)=/̵͇̿̿/'̿̿ ̿ ̿ ̿

(8:27) Uh….Ok well I just sort of had a bad time, okay? Can we drop the subject?

(8:28) Fine, whatever.

(8:29) wait did you guys

(8:29) you know

(8:30) ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

(8:31) What

(8:32) did you?

(8:32) I…?

(8:33) ( ͡° ͜ʖ ( ͡° ͜ʖ ( ͡° ͜ʖ ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ͜ʖ ͡°)ʖ ͡°)ʖ ͡°) say it diddly doo da

(8:34) Toni wtf are you even talking about

(8:35) mario kart dumbass

Pacing back and forth in the bathroom, Gilbert studied the phone of his screen intently, wondering if he should do it or not. Would it be too early to call? Would it? Or would it be too late? Was Matthew perhaps pissed with him?

He was alone in the bathroom, and every step he made seemed to echo off the walls so loudly it was as if many sodium bombs were being dropped into the toilets. Biting his lip, Gilbert stared down at the contact number labeled "Birdie." Should he do it?

What if Birdie was beyond pissed? What if he pulled a Roddy and just dropped Gilbert like a sack of potatoes, left him hanging there, for someone else to find, for someone else to pick up the broken pieces?

Over and over his thumb hovered over the 'call' button, but he never pressed it, sweat forming on his forehead. It was now ten o'clock, classes had started hours ago, and he might as well stay in here until lunch. Sliding against the wall and sitting on the floor, Gilbert placed his phone in his pocket and rested his head on his knees.

He hadn't been planning on an attack yesterday like that, but then again, they were called attacks for a reason, weren't they? You weren't supposed to know they were coming, and when they did, it bit you in the ass so hard you probably started yodeling in the middle of your cries of pain.

But what if Matthew thought that Gilbert was mad at him? Oh no, he couldn't have that, Matthew didn't do anything wrong...Guilt weighed heavily on his chest, and not just about that one issue, but many. He could suddenly every single one of his faults imprinted upon his skin, see everything he caused written before him, and he once again hovered his finger over the 'call' button.

Should he explain himself?
Should he…?

Would Matthew be mad that he had lied to him…?

With being boyfriends must have come friendship, and with friendship must have come trust, and Gilbert felt like he had just betrayed Matthew's trust, and Matthew was an honest person, a good person.

He wasn't good enough for Matthew. With this knowledge in mind, he called Matthew's number at last, prepared to tell Matthew everything, but on the second ring, hung up again.

No, he was being ridiculous. Ridiculous, ridiculous….

This was a process that repeated. He called Matthew, but only a second or two after he did he hung up quickly before the phone could ever actually be answered. He stood up, paced the bathroom again, then sat down. A few boys ventured into it as the day progressed, but none paid him attention. By one o'clock, he felt sick and tired of the building anticipation in his stomach.

Dialing Matthew's number by hand this time, he waited, waited for three full rings before Matthew picked up with a "hello", and in an instant, Gilbert was spilling everything.