AN: Me again. I can't believe it, but this is the second to last chapter; an epilogue is soon to follow. As always thanks to my beta reader Steve6363, hope you guys enjoy!

Chapter 43

Beast Boy opened his eyes slowly. They burned from a lack of sleep, begging him to keep them shut and go back to bed. Beast Boy obliged for a moment, his mind in a rather pleasant, disoriented haze. It took him a few minutes to fully come to, but when he did he bolted upright.

Heart racing, his head turned back and fourth, taking in the scene around him. He was in the med bay. It was mostly dark, lit by a few lamps and the setting sun over the bay. It gave the room a warm, orangey glow.

Something shifted against his side. Looking down, he was beyond surprised to see Raven laying beside him, curled into him. She too was waking up, though it was clearly because of Beast Boy's sudden movement.

Her eyes fluttered open slowly, and with a sharp intake of breath she propped herself up on her elbow to look at him. Her hair was still long, cascading over her almost bare shoulders. To add to his surprise, she was in a tank top and pajama shorts, both clearly Starfire's. The shorts had polka dots.

She offered him a meek smile. "Hey," she breathed, voice raspy with sleep. Beast Boy stared at her, brow furrowed. He was so panicked about her safety, but here she was, looking by all accounts perfectly alright.

"Are you okay?" he asked, just to be sure.

She nodded, and Beast Boy didn't think on it any more. He brought his lips down on hers, his hand drawing her face up to meet him.

He kissed her with every ounce of feeling he had accumulated as he watched her under Mammoth's attack. It wasn't a kiss out of passion or lust or joy. It was out of need. He needed her with him. He needed her wit and intelligence, her empathy and her wisdom. He needed her to love him, because he loved her more than anything in the world.

He pulled back softly, resting his forehead against hers. Her eyes were wide with surprise.

"G-Gar..."

"I'm glad you're not hurt," he murmured.

"Mammoth was just holding me so tight I couldn't breathe. I... I guess I fainted." She said the word with scorn, like she was embarrassed. She broke apart from their contact, her lip turning up in the corner. "You're the one who slept all day, I was awake before we even got back to the tower. How are you feeling?"

Beast Boy looked once again at the setting sun out the window. Damn. It was hard to believe he had really been out for that long. "I'm fine," he reassured her.

She narrowed her eyes at him. "Robin told me you haven't slept in days. He said you actually flew here from Paris. You know after forty eight hours without sleep you start to hallucinate," she admonished, a smile playing at her lips.

Beast Boy grunted. "Maybe that's why I have such a hard time believing that you're really here." It slipped out before he had the chance to edit himself.

Her face fell instantly, her gaze shifting down to the bed below them. A few seconds passed in tense silence.

"Garfield," she finally breathed, "about earlier—"

"Raven please, let's just—"

"No," she said quietly but firmly. "Please let me apologize. You were right. What I did was selfish. I didn't think about how it would affect you, and I'm so sorry for what I put you through." She looked down at the bed, fingers playing with the hem of her tank.

Beast Boy sighed, carefully considering his words this time. "Raven, I can't lie to you. I'm angry at you for what you did. And I don't know when I'm going to not be angry. But when I watched Mammoth grab you today, I realized that more than anything, I was scared. Scared that you would... that you'd leave me again." His voice had gotten raspier and deeper as he stumbled over his words. "I realized I can't live like that again, because I-I love you."

Raven remained silent, but he could see the sheen of moisture in her eyes. "Please," he begged, "I don't want to waste time fighting with you. I'm sorry."

Raven snorted, making Beast Boy jump a little in surprise. "You're hijacking my apology," she admonished, voice betraying her emotion. She looked right into his eyes, hers alight with this particular joy that he very rarely saw there. "I'm sorry," she whispered.

He didn't really process it, but he found himself leaning into her, their lips meeting slowly. Like they had all the time in the world. She kissed him softly as he moved his hand to rest on her back.

"Aww, look at the lovebirds!"

He could feel Raven jump as Cyborg's voice echoed through the room. She tore herself away immediately, pink spreading across her cheeks. Beast Boy rolled over to face the door, doing little to hide the mild scowl on his face.

Robin and Starfire walked in behind him. Robin had his lips pursed. Starfire looked between him, Raven, and Beast Boy apprehensively. Beast Boy could feel Raven tense beside him, causing his scowl to deepen a bit.

The three of them came in and gathered around the bed. Beast Boy sat up, swinging his legs over the side. Raven shifted and tucked hers under her, clenching her hands apprehensively in her lap.

"Hey guys, Cyborg told us you were finally up." Robin smiled, but something about it seemed stiff. Starfire's smile, by contrast, was as spirited and genuine as it ever was.

"Raven has barely left your bedside all day, waiting for you to wake," Starfire informed him cheerily. The pink that was starting to fade from Raven's cheeks came back in full force. Beast Boy reached over and took one of her hands in his, giving it a squeeze.

"So now that everyone is here and awake, I wanted to talk about what happened this morning," Robin began almost cautiously.

"You mean with Mammoth? What landed the both of us in here?" Beast Boy replied with a grunt. He began to recount the morning's battle, making sure to include all the little details that Robin would want. He was obsessive that way. "When I knew Mammoth was knocked out, I shifted back into myself. Looks like I finally reached my limit though, I couldn't even stay awake to make sure Raven was okay." At this point she was the one to squeeze his hand.

Robin nodded slowly. "Raven, do you have anything to add?"

Raven's hand went rigid and motionless. Beast Boy's brow furrowed as he looked between her and the rest of the team.

"I suppose not," she said evenly.

Robin nodded again. "So when Mammoth grabbed you, why didn't you fight back?"

It was silent for a few seconds before she spoke. "He was holding me so tightly I couldn't breathe," she said softly, voice wavering a little.

Beast Boy slid off the bed, leaning against the back of it with his arms crossed against his chest. "If you have something to say Robin, just say it," he said, slight irritation coming through in his voice. He was obviously hinting around at something.

Robin paused for a moment, his face tight with deliberation. Finally, he turned to look Raven in the eyes. "Something about you is different."

Well, I didn't see that one coming. Beast Boy narrowed his eyes at Robin, but turned to glance at Raven. Something in the back of his mind nagged at him. Beast Boy wanted to deny it, but there was something... off about her.

"You look different, and not just your hair," Robin continued. "Your skin is different than I remember. You don't give off the same... I don't know, the same aura. And I went back and watched the mall security footage from when Mammoth grabbed you. He had you for a while before you passed out." His gaze turned to Beast Boy all of a sudden. "Is that right?"

Beast Boy opened his mouth and promptly shut it. He didn't know what to say. Robin had a good point, but he felt like he was supposed to be defending Raven.

Speaking of Raven, she looked absolutely terrified. Her breathing was shallow and quick, her chest rising and falling in little pants. It was enough to convince him of the correct course of action.

"Robin, she's been through a lot in the last twelve hours, can we just save all of this for another time?" he asked, his tone more demanding than pleading.

Robin narrowed his eyes, creating a wrinkle down the center of his mask. "I understand that, but Raven put herself in danger today, and then inadvertently put you in danger when you rushed in to save her. If something's going on here, then it's my job to get to the bottom of it. As the leader of this team, its my job to keep it safe."

"Oh here we go with the leader bullshit," Beast Boy ground out with an eye-roll, pushing himself off the bed and standing to his full height. "Can you knock it off for one night and be a friend before a teammate? Can't you see she's..."

He trailed off, turning to gesture towards her. At some point in their argument she had crawled off the bed. Looking around, he spotted her halfway towards the door. He and Robin had been totally distracted, but Cyborg shot him a look that said 'good work for finally noticing.'

Sensing the lull in conversation, Raven whipped around to look at them. With wide eyes, her gaze darted between the four of them. She continued to back up slowly, an outstretched hand grabbing her cloak off a chair as she passed it.

"I'm so sorry," she whispered. It was only when she said it that he noticed the slow tears sliding down her cheeks. Wrapping her cloak around her, she turned and ran out the door of the med bay.

"Raven!" Robin called after her as Beast Boy groaned. No one made a move to go after her.

"Robin," Starfire chastised with a frown, "We both advised you not to push her farther than she could handle. Our friend is still recovering from all that has happened."

Robin sighed, "I'm sorry guys," he muttered. "I got carried away. Not that you were any help," he directed at Beast Boy.

"What? You three come in for an interrogation and I'm supposed to know what's going on?" he replied, though he had lost the bit of anger swirling in his gut.

"No, but you could at least let Raven do the talking. She can do that without your help you know," Cyborg added, a hint of teasing in his voice.

"Regardless, we need to know what's going on with her," Robin said. He looked at Beast Boy expectantly. All of them did.

"I don't know!" he said with his hands up, exasperated. "I just woke up ten minutes ago."

"Well go find out," Cyborg suggested with attitude. "Your girlfriend just ran out of the room in tears. Go after her and figure out what the hell is goin' on!"

Beast Boy huffed a sigh, looking between the three of them. "I'm going, I'm going," he muttered, heading towards the door. "Thanks for the help, team."

It was cold outside in the darkness. Raven sat on the edge of the rocks with her cloak wrapped around her to block the wind, but it seeped into her skin anyway. She was still in Starfire's stupid barely-there pajamas, which she had only borrowed because of the bruises around her torso; getting into a spandex leotard was more trouble than it was worth.

There was something about this setting that felt appropriate, something that kept her here instead of returning to the tower. To her friends. To Beast Boy. It's the perfect place for a pity party, Raven huffed, clenching her jaw to keep her emotions in check. Not that she needed to for any practical reason.

She told herself to be happy; she should be happy. Everything had worked out. She was alive. Everyone was alive, and everyone was okay. Somehow, miraculously, Beast Boy had forgiven her. All of her friends had.

But nothing was the same. And after today it was only a matter of time before they found out, and everything in her life would change.

"Raven." His voice was barely above a whisper, but it still made her jump. She had no idea he was behind her. "Can we talk?"

She kept still and silent for a moment, trying to steady herself. Before she could answer, Beast Boy continued to speak.

"I know you probably don't want to, but uh... Robin kind of says you have to, and I thought you'd rather talk to me. I hoped you'd want to talk to me," he clarified nervously as he sat down a few feet beside her. He followed her gaze out over the water.

"I... yes, I would. Of course I do," her voice grew softer as she slumped into the stone, nervously glancing towards him. He looked at her with gentle eyes, but underneath he knew something was wrong and he was eager to know what it was. "Gar, there's something I have to tell you..." Her voice caught in her throat when she tried to continue.

"Look, Rae, before you say anything," he interjected, "I want you to know that I understand. We all do. You've been through a lot, and you haven't had three months to process it, you've had twelve hours. You need more time, and that's okay. We shouldn't have brought you this morning," he said, guilt evident in his voice. "We can just have you do some training this week and maybe then you'll be ready to fight." He looked at her softly, an attempt to assure her that everything would be alright.

They were silent for a few seconds, the sporadic gusts of wind the only sound to echo off the rocks.

"You're wrong," Raven finally whispered. It wasn't accusatory nor factual; it was laced with pain and regret.

"Raven—"

"Please," she began forcefully, turning away from his probing eyes. "Gar, you don't understand. I'll never be ready to fight. I'll never be able to fight." She pulled the fabric of her cloak so tight she couldn't move. "Gar, I..." she choked on the words, but took a gasping breath and spit them out. "I lost my powers."

The silence hung long and heavy. "That's what this is about?" Beast Boy finally breathed. He hesitated, clearly unsure how to respond. "Is it permanent?" he asked. She could feel his eyes on her, but she couldn't bring hers to meet them.

"Yes," she replied, the word bitter in her mouth.

"Why?"

Raven sighed. "Before, Trigon was connected to me because of his blood in my veins. Because I was his daughter. You brought me back, but this isn't really the same body as before," she drawled out slowly. She snuck a sideways glance at him. He was turned fully towards her, brows furrowed and eyes wide at the same time. He seemed very unsettled by that statement. "That spell gave corporeal form to my spirit. This is an echo of my old body, but I no longer carry the blood of Trigon." She paused for a minute. "That's why everyone thinks I'm different."

She let her eyes wander back over to him in the silence that followed, studying his face. Lips pursed, he looked out over the water as he thought.

"You smell different," he said after a while. "I didn't realize that's what it was before. It's not a huge difference, but I can tell." Raven pursed her lips, filing that one away for later. She didn't know he could smell her. It was a little unsettling.

"So your powers, they came from Trigon, right?" he asked slowly.

Raven nodded, then realized her hood was up. "Yes, most of them. I was trained in various types of spell casting while I grew up in Azarath, but they'll be vastly weakened now that I don't have my powers. Other than being a halfway decent magic user, I'm... well, I'm..."

"Normal." Beast Boy provided, voice strong. She turned to look at him, and he offered her a smile. She turned her eyes away.

"I was going to say useless."

More silence. Raven suddenly grew nervous, anticipating he was going to agree. She had hoped for a second that he was going to reassure her like he always did, that she was going to be fine and that they would find a way to keep her on the team, for her to fight crime like she had for the last five years.

But it wouldn't make sense. As he had said, she was normal now. And in the world of heroes, normal doesn't get you very far.

"You know, when I first got my powers I didn't really have much time to process it," he finally said softly. "My parents were suddenly gone and the place I was sent to..." he trailed off and she could see the tension in his jaw. "It wasn't until I joined the Doom Patrol that I realized what my life was going to be like. Whenever we went out everyone always stared at me like I was a monster. Sometimes I thought my shapeshifting was cool, but sometimes I would have given anything just to be normal. To go to school and have normal colored skin and worry about things like book reports and whether or not my parents were going to ground me. Not about how the Brain was going to take down an entire city."

A gust of wind blew against the rocks and she shivered. "Raven, I know your powers are a part of you that you've lost, believe me I get it. But have you thought about what this means? You've always had to worry about Trigon, about controlling your powers, about doing good to make up for the evil. Every decision has been about someone else, but now you can do anything you want. Raven, you're free."

Raven drew in a sharp breath. "Am I? The only thing I want to do is stay here, with you and with our friends. I just want things to go back to normal. But they never will."

Beast Boy snorted. Raven jerked her head up to look at him. "What do you think we're going to do, kick you off the team? You're our friend. We can make everything normal again, if that's what you want. Maybe Robin can train you, or you can learn to weaponize some of those spells," he said playfully. She rewarded him with a soft smile.

"But," he drawled after a second, standing and jumping down to the rock below them, "crime in Jump City is at an all time low. We're getting half as many calls as we did years ago." She drew her brows together, watching him pace on the rocks below her. When he looked up at her, his eyes were shining, his body brimming with energy. "If we wanted to take a break, we could take a break."

Raven stared at him for a minute, eyes wide. Her lips opened to form a response, but nothing came for the longest time. Finally, she just spluttered, "what?"

He sighed. "I just think... it's been three months Raven," he started, the intensity in his eyes never wavering, "and I thought about you every day. I thought about all the stuff we had done in the past, but what really got to me was everything I wanted to do with you and wouldn't have the chance to. I wanted to take you to Africa—"

"I've been to Africa."

"Not just anywhere. To my home. Where I grew up," he said, growing almost shy at the end.

"Then we'll go to Africa. I'd like that," she said gently, lip turning up in the corner. He looked at her again and smiled. "But I still don't understand what that has to do with 'taking a break.'"

He was quiet for a second, kicking some pebbles around with his right foot. "I've just been thinking about the future. I mean, I've loved being a Titan, but are we going to be a team forever? Is this what we're going to do for the rest of our lives?"

Raven sat still, in shock. She would be lying if she said she hadn't thought about it before. She was sure they'd all thought about it before, but they certainly never said anything about it. "Why are you bringing this up now?" she asked, trying to keep her voice neutral.

"I don't know," he admitted, turning back towards her and plopping back down in his original spot. "The future just feels... limitless."

Raven bit her lip, staring out over the bay. She knew what he was talking about. So many things had changed. It just hadn't felt limitless to her, it felt frightening and unsure. But listening to him talk about it, some of her fear started melting away. She didn't know how to tell him any of that though, so she sat in silence.

"I've always wanted to open a restaurant," Beast Boy finally said. Raven's brows drew together. "A vegan joint, with a yummy, animal-free menu. I don't know, maybe that's a stupid idea, but it's just one of those things I picture myself doing. If we lived a different life." He was quiet for a moment.

"But we can, you know. We can live a different life. We can do anything you want to do, Raven. Question is, what is it you want?"

Raven stared out in front of her with her mouth slightly ajar and eyes wide. She could see it. All at once she could see a hundred different versions of her life before her. She could be a writer, a historian, a doctor, she could teach people how to use magic. She could travel the world, this time for her own enjoyment.

She turned all the way around to look at Beast Boy. "I," she began, but stuttered. Thoughts, images, and emotions flew around in her head, jumbling the words she wanted to say. She took a deep breath and spoke slowly, trying to articulate exactly what she was feeling. "I don't know exactly what I want to do. I can think of an entire list of things, actually, but at the same time I can't imagine leaving this life behind. Or leaving our friends."

She paused, biting her lip. The words didn't want to leave her mouth, like she was suddenly shy again. "Whatever happens though, I... I don't want to be alone. I want you to—"

Before she knew what was happening his mouth was on hers. He kissed her, deeply but gently, winding one hand through the hair at the nape of her neck, the other resting against her cheek.

Her eyes fluttered open as they pulled apart and she found herself staring right into his eyes as he leaned over her. They had that excitement in them again.

"Raven, I lost you for three months—"

"You keep saying that," she muttered.

"—and if I learned anything it was how much I needed you." His gaze was so intense, so genuine that she had to look away, a blush spreading across her cheeks. "Life happens really fast sometimes, and you don't get to say the things you want to say." He started to move, dropping down so he was kneeling.

Raven stared at him, motionless, as he took her hands and looked up at her. His gaze was piercing as he slowly, softly smiled at her. With a jolt she realized what was happening. She could only imagine what her face looked like. Her heart was hammering in her chest and her mouth was slightly ajar, her lip quivering.

"Rae," he began slowly, "I never want to lose you again. I love you." His voice shook a little. "So Raven, will you marry me?"