CHAPTER 7: I NEVER

Looking at the scribbled notes on the paper and the area around I stared at the door. Hoping that it was the right one. All the houses here looked nearly the same. All big, shiny and new looking. I suppose this was what everyone in High Town strives for. Who had the newest biggest house with the most servants.

I'm not sure if I should trust the directions of a drunken Isabela or not. Even just written words on a beer stained wrinkled piece of paper sound unsure of where they're going. It's all I had to go by though so I guess that knocking on the door wouldn't hurt.

What's the worst that could happen seriously? Streets full of people and a few guards are paroling. The most that could actually happen is someone think I'm looking for a job if it is the wrong place.

After knocking on the door I wonder if anyone could even hear it. I miss door bells and hell cell phones. Technology in general I sorely wanted back. I stood outside of the door for a few minutes without anyone coming to the door, and knocked again trying to make it louder. I looked around for a window, but the only one that I could find was to dark to see through. It didn't look like anyone was home, or had been home in quite some time by the amount of dust clinging on the other side.

I pulled the door lightly surprised to find that it wasn't even locked or anything.

"Hello, anyone home?" I called peeking my head around the corner. The door creaked loudly as I opened it fully to stand inside the threshold. After closing the door I could barely see two feet in the dark room, and when I took a step forward glass crunched under my feet nearly slicing through my thin shoes. It was one of those creepy kind of quiets that make you think someone is watching you.

I nearly turned back, but a soft glow from across the room caught my attention. Someone was here, hopefully it was Fenris. But why would he be living like this.

"Fenris, are you home?" I called a little louder trying to step around where I could barely see broken objects and a random assortment of other things.

Shuffling along I ended up slamming my knee into a desk, and stubbing my big toe against the stairs.

"It's you, what do you want." I screamed and nearly fell back down the stairs. I didn't even see Fenris or hear him until he came right up on me. If it weren't for his quick actions I would have tumbled down breaking something or worst case dying.

"Woah, thanks that could have hurt." I laughed stupidly as I clung to his arm. He grunted and I'm sure rolled his eyes with the shaking his head. Prying my hand from his arm he turned around and went back into the lit room. I followed after him taking in the still destroyed room. He was defiantly a man, he didn't clean up shit. "Nice, who's your interior decorator."

"I know you didn't just come here to ogle. What do you want?" He sat down on an old looking chair, or it might have just looked old because of the various rips and tares. From the table at his feet he grabbed up a half filled bottle of wine drinking straight from the bottle. I scooted around the random debris to find a chair that wasn't covered in blood and random objects. It was one of those weird long chairs that you'd see someone like Cleopatra lounging on. You know with no back and only one tall armrest thing.

As soon as my weight was on it, a leg cracked and it tilted at a weird angle. I gasp clutching at the edge. Fenris just stared over the bottle lowering it from his lips and raising an off colored eyebrow. I swear his eyes followed after the snapped leg as it bounced across the room and rolled down the stairs.

"This place is just trying to kill me?" Fenris gave an unexpected snort and shook his head. Wow did I just make him laugh?

"Yes the furniture is very vicious. Keep an eye on it." Was that his attempt at a joke? It was bad, but I'm not exactly a comedian myself. Smart-ass maybe, well defiantly, but that's about it. I do admit it was kind of cute of him trying to make this little weird moment less of such. Or at least I think that was what he was trying to do. Maybe?

I huffed moving around slowly to get comfortable on the strangely angled chair before it could do anything else to try and murder me. "I just came to visit, you know, see how you're doing."

He took a long gulp of his wine before leaning on his legs and dangling the bottle between two fingers; uncaring of if it fell and shattered against the nasty floor. With one hand he swept it around like he's gesturing to the room and mansion in general. "Take a look around. I'm living a luxurious life. Pah..."

"I see that." Both of us gave a curl of the lip looking at the dishevelled room. "But if you're unhappy with it, why not find a house you can buy?"

He only gestured to his ears, right racism. Still getting used to this backwards ass place. "Besides I am still a fugitive." He leaned farther over and looked at his bare feet. "It is better to be alone here than in the Alienage."

"Don't you get lonely up here?"

"No." His answer was instantaneous. Like he knew what I was going to ask even before I did. But even the most antisocial person couldn't just want to go completely without anothers contact. I know he can't either, he'd go crazy. "Save your pity for someone else."

He sat up straight holding his head high, he didn't need my sympathy or even want it. Honestly I feel even sorrier for him than before. I'm sure he can stand just fine on his own two feet and not need anyone else to help him. He's probably guarded his emotions so long it's turned him into a bit of a recluse. For once, I can't make some snarky comment.

Varric was right, the guy needed a friend.

Over the last couple of days I visited Fenris' mansion. Most of the time he welcomed my presence. Others he just wanted to be left alone, and sulk by himself. I'd decided though that today, while he was out with Garrett and the rest of the group, I was going to clean up at least his room. Call it OCD if you will, it really bothered and got under my skin every time I walked into the place.

Even he couldn't be happy living in a pigsty like this.

I swear if he screwed it up again after I'd cleaned it I'd deck him one. Not the best idea mind you now that I think about it. Note to self, keep hands away in a non-threatening manor from the 'broody elf' as Varric so kindly put it.

I stood in the center of the room, half glaring at that evil conspiring monster chair. Even that Fenris hadn't fixed. I found the leg laying at the bottom of the stairs earlier. So even it continued to piss me off sitting at an off angle.

I'll get to it later...

First came the ever fun task of sweeping up glass. I'm shocked that Fenris hasn't ended up cutting his feet running around bare foot all the time. He just steps over it easily while I crunch through it loudly. I've already messed up a pair of shoes thanks to him. At least Varric was nice enough to get me a pair of leather ones.

This is all so much fun, but I can't control myself enough to stop. I won't be able to repair the furniture, but at least the place won't smell like death and gloom. Or look like a tornado had just centred itself right in his house alone. Hopefully when all is done, it'll even look a bit brighter with the windows opened up. At least they weren't to hard to open and the breeze was nice. I didn't feel at all like I just walked into a dark furnace.

With no radio the next best thing to do is sing to myself to pass the time. "Chickity china the Chinese chicken... you have a drum stick and your brain stops tickin'." There's something about that song that can put you in such a good mood. Maybe it's just me, but it's to funny not to make me laugh.

I've been told I can sing, but it's still embarrassing to have anyone listen. After all I wasn't going to college before for a music career. Believe it or not, I wanted to teach. I suppose I could still do that here, if I'm stuck without a way to return.

Ignoring that for now though, nothing I can do about it.

After a few more songs the place actually began looking alright. Granted there was a lot left of the place, but Fenris' room and most of the front entrance were cleared. Now he can run up and down from his room to the door without prancing around like a deer.

Now that is one mental image that doesn't belong.

I flopped down on the mental chair and huffed loudly. After my OCD induced cleaning spree I was drained. I'm sure I have enough time to take a nap and get out of here before Fenris comes back. I might hear about it later at the Hanged Man. I can just see it now, someone broke into the mansion to clean it up rather than steal anything.

Well, with anyone else that's more than likely what I'd hear, but not Fenris. I doubt he'll make even a single comment on it.

"What are you doing here?"

As a reply I screamed and nearly fell in a heap on the floor. I must have dosed off, I didn't hear Fenris even open the door. Either that or he's a ninja in his spare time.

"Cleaning?" Was I even really sure of what I'd been doing for the past few hours? No, not really apparently.

He walked across the room and leaned his sword against the wall. "I can see." He looked around the room slowly, I can't tell if he's thankful, disgusted or just plain doesn't care. "You didn't need to trouble yourself."

"It was something to do." I shrugged as he grabbed two glasses from the desk where I had sat the few that weren't broken on. He poured the wine from a bottle in the two cups, handing one to me as he crossed the room. He rose his cup up giving a nod of his head before draining the wine in one gulp.

"So that is what you do with your free time now." I stopped pondering the red liquid in the cup and instead studied him. "Sing." He clarified. Wait, he heard me!?

I laughed as I scratched my neck and felt it and my cheeks heat up.

"Do not be embarrassed, it was... beautiful." The fact that he sounded so unsure wasn't helping any. Then again it was Fenris, I'm sure he wasn't trying to sound hesitant. It's just him, in all his socially awkward ways.

"Thanks." He refilled his own glass turning his head away from me, I know he's trying to hide a smile. I can see it in the way his eye brows are drawing together that he's got that silly half smirk and trying to force it down. "Hey, Fenris. Grab a couple more bottles of that will you."

He turned back toward me. "Why?" I just drained the cup and sat it on the table waiting on him to go grab more wine. After a moment of him just staring at me in confusion he got up, and returned a few minutes later with two bottles full and the nearly empty one on the table.

By the time he had came back I was sitting on the floor in a newly cleaned out space. He too sat down with the bottles between the two of us.

"Ever played 'I never'?" He just looked at me quizzically. An obvious no. After explaining the rules he didn't look to sure if he wanted to continue. "I'll start. I've never broken a bone." Unsurprisingly Fenris did take a drink.

After taking a sip from the bottle he tapped it in thought. The metal gauntlet echoed lightly with each tap against the glass. "I've never been scared of the dark."

"Damn." He only laughed and I took the bottle from him. "Hey, I was seven and heard something that scared me for the rest of my life." He took the bottle from me taking a quick swig himself, ugh hypocrite.

"And what was that?" The laughter in his voice wasn't hard to miss.

"My parent's getting it on." I shuttered, he most likely didn't get what I had meant at first. But after he only shook his head realised what I had insinuated. "What about you?" He never said anything, and I don't think he would elaborate on it. After all by the rules he didn't have to.

"I've never learned a foreign language."

Fenris grabbed the bottle and finished it off , throwing it across the room where the glass crashed and shattered against the wall. Before I could start yelling at him he continued on with our game.

The game continued on until we nearly finished off the third bottle. And by that point I had long felt the effects.

"I've," I let out a loud hiccup. " never had sex." Neither of us took a sip and I waited on him to take the bottle from the floor. It didn't move like it should have, it just sat there mocking me, or something... "Really? I'd thinsh women would be all over you."

"I don't remember if I ever have."

I giggled stupidly and swayed a little shifting my weight. "We should fix thash sumtimesh." He's a good looking man. There's no way I can deny that. "Hey Fenris!" I crawled over knocking the bottle over in the process. Fenris' eyebrow shot up as I sat on my knees in front of him. "You know what I wansh to do?"

"I shouldn't ask should I?" Pouting up at him he just shook his head. His smile tugged lightly at the corners of his lips before he forced it back down. Matching his own stoic frown I leaned forward until our noses were practically touching. I'm not going to lose this staring contest, no way.

"You have pretty eyes." Hah I win! He leaned back blinking a few times before he cleared his throat. Covering my mouth with one hand I laughed hard enough for my shoulders to shake violently and I nearly started crying.

"You have had enough." He stood pulling me up with him. His hands barely touched my shoulders, he wanted to avoid as much contact as possible I guess.

"But mooooommmm..." I laughed but then it died right in my throat. Mom, Dad, Ted... I haven't truly thought about them in so long. I keep forgetting that this place isn't my world. And that my family could be out there, and in trouble.

But what if they're not? What if they're stuck back on Earth and something horrible is going on. While I'm here flirting away with some guy I've only known for a few months. I don't want to think that they're hurt, or need someone to come save them.

I don't know if it was my drunkenness that made me think harder on it now, but it was there now.

I had been lucky that Anders had found me. He saved me, but who would be there to save them?

"I... I need to go..." I stumbled around him trying to find the door, and fumbled with the handle. It groaned loudly in protest as I flung it open and ran down the stairs. They too giving echoing creaks as I drunkenly took them two at a time. I thought I was going to miss a step and slide down and fall on my ass in the process. But it really didn't matter.

I just had to get away for now.