CHAPTER 17:

Panacea.

The name was strangely familiar to my ears. I recalled that it was named after the Greek goddess of universal remedy. The Greek believed that this medicine would be able to cure all diseases and prolong life indefinitely.

Huh.

The irony of the given name of that drug was never lost on me.

The Panacea that poisoned my water supply wasn't a cure at all. It was the new name They gave the new type of mescaline They were developing.

Mescaline would make you hallucinate, make you see things, smell things, hear things.

It would make you jumpy and tensed.

It was a drug developed and marketed by a widely-known mafia elite in Japan. This group solely operated almost half of the transactions in the black market. Smuggling of illegal weaponry, human trafficking, drug dealings, hired killings, prostitutions – everything of the like – they manipulated them all. Rumor had it that they even developed nuclear weapons and were connected to the bombing of Hiroshima.

And the drug that poisoned my water supply was catalyzed by the same group.

Some luck I got, huh?

I sat up straight from my scruffy hospital bed and grabbed the tin pail on the bedside table. With everything I had, I shamelessly threw up my lunch in the silver bucket. My hands trembled as I grasped the pail. I stared at its pinkish beige contents. It looked like I probably lost my breakfast, too.

Ugh, gross.

I was having a nightmare before I threw up - one of the side effects of being 'cleansed' and the worst of its kind. Flashes of laughing kindergarten invaded my mind. They were having fun playing like most kids did at their age. The image sickened me. But it sickened me more as I watched myself kill each kid - all of them having the faces of the people here in this school including Ami - with my bare hands, my eyes glowing dark gold as I stared back into the diminishing light in their eyes.

The bed creaked as another batch of puke made its way up my throat.

Apparently, because I was drinking my 'poisoned' water for too long a time, I needed to be cleansed longer than the estimated date.

This was my seventh night.

I didn't even know what date it was today. I was worried sick about Ami. Who else was watching her? Was she still being watched?

My hands grasped the white cotton blanket thrown over my pale body and pulled them away. I hurriedly set my feet on the floor.

"I need to get out of here," I announced to anyone who could hear.

And without waiting for anyone to react, I took a step forward, away from the horrid death bed. My mind was so set on checking on Ami that it didn't even occur to me that I was bed-ridden for a week.

I dropped on the floor without warning.

Warm hands carried me up and placed me back on my bed. I looked up to see who helped me and saw long, midnight locks. For a fleeting moment there, my heart skipped a beat. And then my savior spoke.

"Do I have to be your nurse all the time?" Yoru teased, his honey eyes glinting.

I nearly smiled. But then, I remembered Ami. "Is Utau still with my sister?"

He nodded.

I said she was a henchman of some other group. I didn't know then that she was working for Fikasiju and that she was double-crossing them by helping us. In a sense, she was a double-agent. I was surprised at that girl's revelation. Never in my life would I think of double-crossing a Yakuza. The girl was walking on thin ice and she was completely reckless doing so. But she had guts enough to make me amazed.

I couldn't say I didn't trust her. She was looking after my sister, for heaven's sake. But her job was making me fidgety every time. Not only could she end up being assassinated if she was found out, she could also get my sister killed. Nevermind about me, but I couldn't let Ami die.

Over my dead body.

"Just let me out, Yoru. I've been in here for one whole freakin' week!" I snapped.

Yoru shot me a silencing glare. "Unless you want to die because of hallucination, you'd stay here until the cleansing is completely over," he said firmly, his playful aura completely gone.

He walked over the electronic thing they used on checking my vitals and the drug intake in my body. The first time I saw how my body looked at the monitor, I saw green and purple liquid streaming down my veins. Now the veins were almost back to its natural red and blue color.

"The Panacea is almost out of your system, Amu. You just have to wait till your bloodstream is cleared up,"

I automatically looked where the voice came from. Midnight hair greeted me with their alluring hue. Dark blue eyes penetrated my soul callously. Through my over-sensitive senses, everything in him was emphasized.

His spiced, bewitching scent.

His heavenly stare.

And his mercilessly captivating eyes.

Everything in him caught me by the tongue, disabling me to speak.

He raised a delicate-looking hand at Yoru, gesticulating for him to leave. His cousin raised a brow but complied anyway.

He slammed me with his terrifyingly gorgeous eyes, freezing my entire body from movement. He stepped towards me with agonizing slowness.

My breathing almost ceased the moment he reached the side of my bed. He reached up for my face and let his hand fall as it brushed my cheek.

"I-Ikuto, listen," I stammered.

He took my hand and stared right at me. My breath hitched. I had no idea why I just took his attention. My eyes wandered on his face. I noticed that his nose somewhat had a little bump on the bridge, like it was broken and put back again. Unconsciously, I thought about how many times he hurt himself because of protecting me and Ami. And my mind suddenly drifted to what Kairi said.

You're being blinded...

"About what I said last time...look, I'm sorry," I whispered.

A not-so-pleasant warmth crept to my face as I stared back into his take-no-prisoners eyes. Unwelcome thoughts suddenly tormented my mind. I imagined him leaning in closer and closing his eyes as he–

An amused chuckle suddenly snapped me back to reality.

"How are you, Amu?" he unceremoniously asked.

I shook my head, regaining my composure. "Horrible," I said, "I can't believe this slipped from me,"

"You can't be seriously expecting yourself to know everything, can you?" he asked, surprising me.

I laughed incredulously. One minute he was concerned enough to check on me, the next he was condescending me with his surprisingly irritating insults. This guy had to have serious issues.

The next two days were hell incarnate. I vomited so often night and day that I felt like I'd thrown up my insides, as well. I was sweaty all over. And the nightmares never ceased, each time a hundred times worse than the one before it.

It was only before I was 'discharged' that someone asked me about those nightmares.

"Hinamori-san," Musashi called before I walked out of their lab, fully recovered.

I glanced back at him. "What?"

"There's one last thing I wanted to ask you," he paused and stepped closer to me, "When you were under the purge, what kind of strange dreams were you having?"

My eyebrow automatically hiked up. They told me I'd be dreaming of things I fear but only left it to that. Why would they suddenly interest themselves in my nightmares?

"Really strange," I answered sarcastically.

"How strange exactly?" he asked, poker face.

Where was this going? I looked into his blue eyes and up his green hair. My sight lingered at his chonmage before answering his question.

"I'm always at a kindergarten," I whispered, recalling what the nightmare felt like.

"Every time I sleep it's the same place, over and over again. The kids are happy. They are playing with each other. Then the scene morphs into something dark. I watch from afar as an older person slaughter every child she can get her hands on. And when the girl looks my way..."

I stared up his eyes and gauged how he'd react. But Musashi's face was bland with emotion.

My voice dropped to a soft whisper. "The killer had my face," I said and stepped out of the laboratory and into the dark night.

"So good of you to grace us with your presence, Himamori-san. We are almost done with the lesson," Nakaidou remarked sarcastically as I entered his class, half an hour late.

I flashed him with my sweetest, most devilish smile. "Good job, sensei. Please proceed," I raised my hand to make 'run along, little boy' gestures.

His ears reddened with rage but he continued his lesson nevertheless. I sat down my chair, the one in front of me vacant yet again.

I wonder what's he up to now?

My mind drifted to what Ikuto told me on the night he finally drove me back to the dorms.

What you hallucinate about during your intake of panacea reflects 89 percent accuracy of your inner most fears.

There was this event where I hallucinated about the attack at the school's parking lot which involved Nadeshiko. The other one was at school where Ikuto attended the class.

Why would I fear being attacked with Nadeshiko around? Okay. Maybe because I didn't want anyone innocent get tangled up with my mess.

But why the hell would I fear Ikuto coming to class?

That theory was absolutely faulty.

AUTHOR'S NOTE:

I'm so depressed :( Let me know what you think of the story so far. Criticisms are very welcome.

Thank you :)

With all the love for writing,

Lace Ashdown