WARNING: THIS CHAPTER IS NOT A FLUFF CHAPTER AT ALL. DANNY IS DIFFERENT THAN READERS WILL LIKE AND LACEY ISN'T HERSELF EITHER DUE TO CONFUSION OF WANTING TO HELP DANNY BUT WANTING TO MAKE HIM UNDERSTAND WHAT SHE IS FEELING TOO.
We may think there is willpower involved, but more likely... change is due to want power. Wanting the new addiction more than the old one. Wanting the new me in preference to the person I am now.
George A. Sheehan
Danny wiped his watery eyes as he yawned. Karen sat down next to him on a stool at the kitchen bar.
"You okay, son? You seem restless lately." Karen petted her son's shoulder trying to get his attention.
Jack and Whitney glanced up from their breakfast quickly to stare towards Danny and Karen before looking at one another. They grinned slightly before continuing their eating. The doorbell rang causing Whitney to get up to answer it.
"I'm fine." Danny jerked away from his mom's touch. He didn't mean to hurt her feelings but he didn't want touched by anyone at the moment.
Lacey came into the kitchen area after Whitney had let her in. She was there to give Danny a ride to school.
Karen stood up to allow her son and Lacey some space. She walked over to the counter by the sink. She began searching through her purse. "I swear I just had the money for my flower orders right here less than a few minutes ago. There is no way I could have lost the money in mere seconds. NO way."
Lacey glanced at Danny. She could read his facial expressions easily. She wanted to just hold him. Guilt caused his eyes to deepen with pain. He pushed his breakfast away from him. "I'm not hungry."
"Sweetie, you haven't eaten in a few days. I've noticed. Are you sick?" Karen placed her hand on Danny's forehead. "You're very clammy. You should stay home from school."
"I'll be fine." Danny headed out the door without another word.
Lacey chased after him. "Danny, wait up."
Danny leaned against the side of Lacey's car. "I took her money, Lace. I've got plenty but I have to have permission to get money. I've spent my allowance for the week. I don't want mom questioning what happened to all the money I had."
"I know." She pulled him to the side of the car so Whitney and Jack couldn't see them. It seemed they took that moment to walk out to get into Jack's vehicle. Lacey's arms encircled his waist.
"I'll pay her back. I'm not a thief." Danny closed his eyes as his arms went around Lacey's waist. He still couldn't fathom why Lacey was with him. "I need the pills."
"No. You don't." Lacey clung to Danny. "You don't."
"I had a terrible nightmare last night. I woke up craving the pills. But I didn't have any because I want to do better." Danny closed his eyes as he placed his chin on the crown of Lacey's head. "But I think I really need them."
"How can you say that? You're shaking. You're eyes are glazed over or watery most of the time." Lacey pulled Danny to look at her. "I'm enough. My love is enough."
"You love me." Danny pushed Lacey's hair behind her ear. "Dad did too. Once you face I'm not worthy of you. That I'm everything I've warned you that am. Will you stop loving me as well?"
"Never." Lacey pulled Danny into a kiss.
They hadn't been together sexually because of Lacey insisting they take things slow this time around. As well as, Danny was listless due to the drug withdrawal. Therefore, they had not been intimate since their weekend during Spring Break. He was trying so hard to stop the drugs for Lacey. But he was craving the pills more with each passing hour.
By the time lunch period rolled around, Danny craved the drug so intensely. He was willing to rob a bank to get some. He spotted a boy named Caden, Tyler's new lackey. Danny marched up to Caden and pulled him back behind the building.
"I need some pills." Danny pulled out some of the wad of money he stole from Karen.
"Rumor has it that you were getting the monkey off your back." Caden smirked.
"Rumors are not facts. Give me what this will buy." Danny thrust the money towards Caden. "They better be the real stuff. Or I'll hunt you down. You know what I mean too."
"Chill, socio. They are?" Caden pulled out a bottle of pills from his book bag. "You better be glad that Tyler is trying to get enough money to produce his new documentary. He won't be stealing these pills from his crazy aunt much longer." Caden shrugged. "When he quits this, maybe we could work out a deal or something."
Danny clutched the pills in his hand. "Yeah. Or something." Danny pushed Caden back into the wall before walking away.
Lacey walked around the school three times before facing facts that Danny Desai wasn't there. She wondered if she was feeling the withdrawal from Danny. She had read the opposite of euphoria was dysphoria. She was definitely feeling the need for him to be with her. Lacey chuckled at herself.
"Have you seen Danny?" Lacey asked Cole, who was tossing a soccerball up in the air.
"Yeah. I have." Whitney, who was standing a few feet away, spoke up. Jo was standing with her. "You giving mystep bro a ride home?"
"I did bring him." Lacey put her hand on her hips. "So have you seen him?"
"I said I did. But you might not want to give my step brother a ride. He and Caden were doing some business behind the school. Guess since he is hooked and lost his supplier. Danny found another supplier." Whitney shrugged.
"Oh No." Lacey began to frantically search for her keys in her purse.
"I'd be happy, Lacey. We were all talking. Danny is getting strung out more and more. He's known as a junkie to every one here now. Even the teachers are murmuring. Thanks to that essay where he admitted he was on drugs." Jo laughed. "I'm glad he's no longer my problem."
"I don't have time for this." Lacey found her keys and headed for her car.
"Come on, Baby. We can make things work. Danny will be out of my house in some juvie center. I'll make up to you my indiscretion. I like girls too. I'd make you happy." Whitney grabbed Lacey's arm trying to taunt her. Jo was laughing along with Whitney. Cole shook his head and walked away. Girl drama wasn't his thing.
Lacey jerked her arm free. Lacey pushed her hair behind her shoulder. She leaned in and whispered to both Whitney and Jo. "I am already happy because in the essay, I'm the girl that is on Danny while he's on drugs."
Whitney's mouth gaped open. Jo grimaced angrily. Lacey walked away briskly. She hopped in her car which threw gravel as she pulled away. She had to save Danny from himself.
Lacey slammed on the breaks as she pulled up in front of Danny's house. Karen was at the flower shop paying for her wedding flowers. Jack was apparently working at the dock. Lacey tensed up knowing Danny might be there high on drugs. She sighed as she climbed slowly out of her car..
"Danny!" Lacey called up the stairs for him. She walked up the stairs cautiously.
When she entered Danny's bedroom, he smirked. He glanced at Lacey's floral sundress that hugged her upper body nicely and flared at her hips. "Mmmm. MMMmmm. Good. Finger licking good as a matter of fact. Baby, you dress like that it makes me so happy you're mine."
Lana smiled weakly as she saw the crushed powder on Danny's dresser. "What have you taken?"
"It is nothing, Lace. All it does is make my body feel better." Danny made a lopsided grin. "Let's not talk about it. Let's just enjoy each other."
"Danny.." Lacey couldn't allow another word to escape her lips before Danny had her in his arms.
"Kiss me, Lace." Danny smirked. "Let me show you the time of your life."
Lacey started to question Danny. Instead, she found her face buried in the crook of Danny's neck as he carried her towards his bed. Danny placed her on the bed and pulled off his shirt.
Lacey's mind was muddled as Danny pulled her into a kiss. Lacey knew Danny was high but she needed to think of how to help him. She knew he'd never hurt her or force himself on her. At the same time, she didn't want to shut him out while he needed her the most.
"I need to go freshen up." Lacey could feeling her breathing becoming panted. She was facing some realities. She needed to get away from Danny in order to breathe and think.
"Hurry back." Danny leaned to kiss her but Lacey adverted his kiss. She didn't want to be tempted to give into him while he was like this.
She made her way to the bathroom. Lacey practically fell to her knees. She sat there as the door swung closed after her. She pulled herself up trying to think. Lacey's forehead began to sweat. She leaned against the bathroom door just trying to comprehend it all. Lacey felt a tear trickle down her cheek. She wiped it away quickly. Lacey tried to compose herself as thoughts of Danny being high on drugs consumed her body. Her thoughts were only interrupted by Danny knocking on the door of the bathroom.
"Don't you want me, Lace." He laughed with a cocky air about him. The drugs were making him more secure in his high state. He walked back into the bedroom. "Quit hiding. I know you want me."
Lacey slid around to look through the crack of the bathroom door. She watched as the boy she loved placed a bottle of pills in his desk. She felt an anger hit her. She realized why she was blinded to the facts that were laid out to her. LOVE. Love had blinded her. He may be hurting but he needed to quit the drugs or quit this relationship. But Danny Desai was her love! Lacey composed herself . She checked herself in the mirror as she readied to face Danny with cold hard facts. Lacey turned around as she marched out of the bathroom.
She walked up to Danny, who now had blinked a few times trying to remember what he was doing. He grabbed Lacey by the waist once he got his bearings. She gave Danny an evil glare before prying his hands away from her.
"Don't you want me, Lace?" His confidence broke momentarily. "Don't you love me because of what I am or what I did? I know you know deep down I'm just a killer nothing more. I lied to you again. I lied because I killed dad and Tara. I took both their lives. I did. Dad made me pull the rope tighter and tighter…" Danny's eyes flashed with fear as he spoke. The drugs were making him pour out truths to Lacey.
Lacey grabbed Danny by the face, kissing him hard on the mouth. She wanted to stop his high ranting before he regretted his words. She knew he'd push her completely away if that happened.
Her tongue jutted quickly into Danny's mouth daring him to deny her. Danny pulled Lacey closer as he twisted into her. Lacey turned around from Danny pushing her backside into him. She'd have to entice him to understand before she could do anything else. Therefore, Lacey twisted her backside into Danny slowly. His hands went to Lacey's hips as he gyrated against her.
Lacey leaned back pulling Danny down to meet his lips with hers. She broke from the kiss. "Is this what you want from me, Danny?"
Danny pulled her around quickly as his lips once again devoured hers. He broke the kiss. "I thought you'd never ask." Danny swooped Lacey up in his arms. "Hold on."
"I don't plan on letting go." Her words meant more than Danny knew.
Danny didn't waste time with formalities as he pushed Lacey onto the bed. Her chest hit the mattress. Her face smashed against the pillow. Danny hiked up Lacey's dress as his fingers played on her thighs.
The words of Danny plagued her thoughts. He had destroyed his life so far. He had killed Tara as he claimed he hadn't. He was taunted with what he had done to his dad as well. He was left to feel like an outcast by everyone in town due to those facts. How could anyone expect him to accept himself? When his life was full of these haunted memories? The realization of Danny's mental state was hitting her full force. He was eleven and his dad made him kill. Lacey blinked her eyes as tears soaked the pillow beneath her cheek.
Danny pushed down his pants to his knees. He leaned over Lacey. His plans were to kiss the back of Lacey''s neck as he took her. But he noticed the tears wetting the surface of the pillow.
Danny backed up. "Lace?" He swallowed as the sight of Lacey crying slowly was sobering him. "Did I hurt you?"
Lacey flipped over staring up at Danny. "I don't want you this way. I love you. But I need the real Danny."
"D*#n it! I AM THE REAL DANNY!" He pulled up his pants. "If you don't want me, there are plenty of girls that would take me for nothing else but my money. Or Jo would take me as I am."
"If you want another girl. Go! I won't stop you!" Lacey yelled as she pushed herself up to her knees.
"I want you." Danny zipped his pants angrily. "But if you don't want me. I don't have to beg."
"That's just it!" Lacey yelled with evident hurt and anger. "I do want you! I'm supposed to help you by saying NO. But I can't refuse you. Every time you want me, I fear turning you away. I fear you'll never turn back to me and you fall further away from yourself."
Lacey pulled off her dress exposing her skin. " Take me! That's what you want! Take me. You know I'm just a quick fix for you. So do it! DO IT! Make me be nothing to you. Make me be unworthy of you. I love you! Ignore that! Make me just a outlet for your problems! That's all I am to you. So just take me!" Lacey sobbed between her screaming. "I LOVE YOU! But I deserve more than this."
Danny backed into the wall. He slid down it. He buried his head in his hands. "Lacey…"
Lacey wrapped the blanket around her as she crawled off the bed. Soon she was beside him. Her fingers caressed his hair. "Danny."
He stared at Lacey. His eyes glazed with tears. The drugs no longer hiding the reality of his life. "Please help me."