Chapter 11: There is Light at the End of the Tunnel

A Few Months Later:

It had been many a year of bloody and violent conflict between the Sith Empire and the Galactic Republic but there was one soldier who was keen to take himself away from it all, no matter his loyalty to the cause. It had been at least two years since Quinn had saved Iz'phal from her imminent death and knew now that she would be safe, feeding his superiors false evidence and data files of new targets that would put the Imperial Military off her trail. Once the smaller part of him he wanted to bury forever had forced its way to the surface he had to save her. He may not have had the feelings for her that he once did but he still cared for her, still wanted her close in his heart and as a friend. He hoped that in the fullness of time she could find it in her heart to forgive him but more than anything he wanted her forgiveness, wanted the chance to apologise and mend the fragmented trust between them. He wanted to protect her, to be there for her and even though he knew the man at her side would be able to do that he just wanted to be her friend, give her a shoulder to cry on if she needed. None of his comrades in the military knew about the resurfacing of his feelings for his friend but he wouldn't show the obvious conflict he was in and just kept it to himself. It was a war torn day on Balmorra as was per usual, the sound of heavy turret and canon fire rang through the air consumed with smoke and the smell of empty ammunition cases as he just wanted to get away from all that. Having been given a brief reprieve from his duties he climbed to the top of the outpost hill from the Imperial's main base, being able to see most of the planet from there, although sadly the war and fighting had burned away most of its beauty and now all that was left was dust and barracks. However for Quinn this moment to himself allowed him to think on all the events that had happened. He knew deep down he should've never accepted the mission to captured Iz'phal but loyalty at the time had driven his duty. He would always be devoted to the Empire, always take his work seriously and now never at the expense of a friend. Quinn had learnt a valuable lesson that day, never to take a friendship for granted, especially when it concerned somebody as loyal and as caring as Iz'phal. His feelings for her had developed through their childhood but expressing them early had caused him to abandon her and it made a hole in his heart that he had never been able to fully explain to her why and apologise to her. He hoped one day to admit his wrongs to her, to just hold her and tell her he was sorry but perhaps in the future he would get that chance. Quinn just gazed thoughtfully on the horizon, dressed plainly in long trousers and a tightly fitting grey shirt, the breeze tousling his short dark hair, hands hanging limp at his sides as he admitted to himself it was pleasant to have time away from the strict regimented day to day running's of the Empire and being able to be free once in a while. His mind again ever focusing on the future was just glad Iz'phal was away from this war torn place and felt at rest with his conscience that he had done the right thing. All those years ago they both were young and perhaps he had forced the situation on her but in doing what he did, abandoning her and not excepting any responsibility she had shunned him and rightly so. He could only hope that she would accept him back into her life. Of course he had regretted what he'd done to her but he hadn't displayed it or been allowed to show any emotion and had tried to forget about it. But he couldn't forget about her, never a girl like Iz'phal. She had kept him close when all seemed lost, valued his friendship and she had honoured him for that until that morning, the morning where he gathered his clothes and left, cutting off all communication with her. His heart panged at the memory and his usually steel like resolve wavered a little. He wanted nothing more than to leave this wretched world and explain how he felt then and there but knew duty and honour bound him to stay. At least away from here and the Empire he knew she was safe and perhaps in the future he would be able to reconcile with her, tell her that he still cared. There could never be anything between them again and he was preparing to except that as she had a man in Corso that cared so deeply for her and he didn't want to come between them but merely wanted to tell Iz'phal he was wrong for what he did and that he still wanted to be a part of her life. Still he wanted the Imperial operation on Balmorra to be successful so that the battle wearied soldiers and he especially could be given leave of the field to return home. With the constant fighting which had occurred within the last decade this had hardly happened and so Quinn was travelling from world and world seeing nothing other than destruction. He knew Iz'phal if he ever saw her again was going to try and persuade him to join the Republic, to leave the Empire behind but as much as he valued her and her friendship she had to respect the cause he had joined and if she was any great friend she would. He would be there for her whenever she needed but she would have a hard time excepting him fighting for the other side. Still friendship was a remarkable thing and could break through such barriers and it was at times like this Quinn was glad that the moral conscience from his childhood had not died when he enlisted in the Imperial Army but merely buried it away until it found the need to be resurfaced again. At least his conscience could rest knowing she was safe and that he had done what was right by him and more importantly by her.

I did care for you Izzy, I did at a time have feelings for you but what I did was wrong and you have a right to hate me for what I did. I only want to tell you how sorry I am for hurting you so that we can put this painful memory behind us. I want you in my life Izzy as a close friend and I want to have that opportunity to make it up to you. I will explain what I did and why and then at least I have been honest and truthful with you. You are now happy and have moved on but I just want to see you even if it is for one last time just to tell you I regret hurting you…I want to be there for you Iz, and when all this fighting is done I shall try to find you to make up for all the lost times. I can only apologise for what I did to you a thousand times over but I only hope you come to forgive me…If you ever need me I shall be here.

His thoughts tailed off as the sound of the Imperial distress beacon, summoning all troops immediately back to the base. Knowing his return to Sobrik was imminent Quinn made his way down the winding slopes, through the war torn villages, no doubt to halt a threat to the Empire's authority on Balmorra. Still the thoughts if his long lost friend rang clear in his head.

It was time to make things right again and when he had the chance he hoped to earn her forgiveness but for now it was going to be a long and arduous road. He wanted to make it to the end of the road if it gave him a chance to reunite with her and get the past out into the open.

It would make everything better and he would do everything to tell her how he had felt for all those years she'd despised him. He wanted the days of old to return again, the days when they used to care for each other and he would give anything to have that opportunity.

He knew no feelings beyond friendship could ever exist between them again as she had a loving man at her side but just to see her again and get a bond back with her was worth anything.