Author's Note: Borrowing the idea of Tulio having had abusive parents from another fic I read, since we're never really given a cannon background as to how our beloved conmen-with-hearts-of-gold actually met one antoher. So as not to get too repetative, I'm paraphrasing and/or glossing over a few things that's already been covered in depth on Miguel's side of things.
CHAPTER 2: (Tulio's POV) Off Limits
I knew it was too good to be true! I glance from the map to the giant rock in front of me. Etched into the stone is the image of two men on some sort of feathered looking serpent. This is the last marker on the map, but I don't see any city of gold. I TOLD Miguel this thing was a fake! As I look back at my sleeping partner, I'm full of mixed emotions. For one, I'm incredibly irritated. We won this map, back in Spain, fair and square-I might add, during an otherwise rigged game of dice. I'd swindled some poor sailors out of their money with loaded dice. Just as I'd won their last pesetas and was getting ready to take my leave, the bigger one produced this map. I wasn't interested, but Miguel... He threw me those puppy dog eyes that he KNOWS I have such a hard time saying 'No' to. The sailor was rather insistent that we play one last round, as well. So I gave in. But then, the sailor insisted we use HIS dice instead of mine. Now I was ready to kill Miguel for not walking away when we had the chance. Somehow, I rolled a seven. In hind sight, I regret gloating as I bent over to pick up our earnings, as my dice rolled out of my pocket, landing on seven, and giving us away.
I pointed an accusing finger at Miguel. "You gave me loaded dice?" When did that guard get there? I looked up at the guard, "He gave me loaded dice! Guard, arrest him!" Miguel and I bickered back and forth, confusing the sailors, the guards, and the on looking crowd. Each of us securing a sword from one of the guards, we fenced our way to safety. Throwing the swords back to the guards and announcing we'd come to a draw, we jumped off the other side, of the building, only to find ourselves face to face with a bull, who chased us right back to the angry mob. Between the mob and the bull, we found ourselves jumping off a pier, into a couple of water barrels on the deck below. Something must have been placed on top of the barrels, because it was hours later before we were able to pop the lids off. We found ourselves face to face with an angry group of sailors. The same ones from our game earlier. Worse, this ship was under the command of Cortes. The conquistador was not thrilled at the idea of stowaways, even accidental ones. We were flogged and thrown into the brig. Had we arrived in Cuba with his crew, he would have had us flogged again and then enslaved for life on the Sugar Plantations. Miguel convinced Cortes's horse to help us out, by way of promising the beast an apple. He then risked his life to save the dumb animal when it dove overboard for said apple, nearly killing all of us in the process. I guess we DID sorta' owe it to the horse to save him, though. When we made land, Miguel recognized some of the markings from the map and showed them to me. I was irritated that he'd somehow managed to keep the stupid map, but hadn't managed to grab more food. But, come to think of it. We'd been submersed in water for several hours when the ship left port, then our long boat was overturned as we rescued the horse. We then got rained on and went through at least two more storms before reaching land. How in the hell had the ink on this thing not started running?
We'd shared a brief moment in the boat, just before making land. Thinking we were going to die, we lamented our biggest regrets. I'd never had enough gold, he regretted that our biggest adventure had only just begun and no one would remember us. I eased his pain by telling him he'd made my life and adventure. Which was true. He and I had grown up together. I had a troubled childhood at home, and his plucky optimism saw me through many dark times. My mother's death was no accident, and my father landed himself in jail. Around that same time, Miguel's mother was taken by influenza, and his father lost at sea. Rather than allow ourselves to be forced into some cramped orphanage, we ran from home and learned to take care of one another on our own. Miguel replied to my consolation, with his own, 'And you made mine rich,' that's probably the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Now, as I look around at the last marking on the map, I have to tell him it was all for nothing. We risked our lives for this map, we took a beating for it, and it's all fake. I sigh as I look back to Miguel. This is going to break his heart. "Miguel... Miguel, wake up," I call.
"We're there?" Miguel asks, sleepily.
"Oh yeah. We found it," I say calmly.
"We found it? Oh, fantastic!" he's much more awake now, and highly excitable. I close my eyes. I feel like a louse. This is going to kill him, but I have to be firm with him. Knowing I have to break the news is making me quite ill with him and his excitement. "Where is it? How far?"
"Right here. ... Here," I say, calmly.
"Where? Behind the rock?" he asks, still looking around.
"No, no. This is it," I say.
Miguel snatches the map from me. "Give me that! This ca... What?"
Now I'm annoyed. "Apparently, 'El Dorado' is native for... 'Great... Big... ROCK!" I exclaim, echoing my last word. "Hey, but I tell you what," I jump back onto the horse, "I'm feeling generous today, so you can have my share!"
"You don't think Cortes could've gotten here before us and..." Miguel started trying to rationalize.
No. No, I don't. If it truly were here, not even Cortez could take THAT much gold that quickly. "And what?" I ask, "Taken all the really big rocks?" I shake my fist. "The scoundrel!" I'm being facetious.
"Tulio, you..." Miguel mutters. I can see the confusion and heartbreak on his face. He clenches the map tighter and holds it close, looking like a child that's being scolded. We risked our lives for this, and it's not there. Even now, he's still trying to find a way to be optimistic, and it's really ticking me off. "We have to think about this." Now he's getting flustered. "We've come all this way, and we-we-we should really, you know."
I lean forward, glaring at him. "Get... on... the horse!" I growl. He throws me the face and it near about kills me. "No, no, no, not with the face," I groan as I pull him onto the horse behind me. There's nothing I can say or do to console him at this moment, and I hate it. But, at the same time, I'm aware he needs this. He needs to learn that life is often full of disapointments, and maybe next time he won't put so much faith into myths and legends and fairytails. We're grown men, after all. "Stop!" I clear my throat. I have to admit, I was just starting to believe the map could have been real. I'm disappointed about this whole mess as well, but it won't do either of us any good for me to admit it out loud. "It looks like there's a pass over there," I say, taking Altivo's reigns in my hands. The sooner we get away from this place, the better.
Suddenly, a girl bumps into the horse. She lands on the ground. The horse spooks, and there's a lot of shouting. Suddenly, we're surrounded by a group of angry natives. Not good. I'm one of those people who likes to feel as if he's in control of every situation. It's a flaw, I know, but with my background, would you blame me? These people look as though they mean to kill. The girl picks up something and throws it at me. I catch it and throw it back to her. After a few tosses back and forth, I turn my attention the natives. "Hi." OUCH! The object bounces off my head. "Is this your rock? Sorry. We're just looking. We're tourist," I try to excuse us. I can feel Miguel's fingers tangle into the back of my shirt. As usual, it's up to me to think fast and get us out of this mess. "You know, tourist?"
"We lost our group. May we go now?" Miguel asks.
I give a nervous chuckle as the natives push their weapons in our faces. "Hehe, spears..." They lead us to a boat, which results in a long, awkwardly silent boat ride. The girl is sitting across from us, and I can't help checking her out. Maybe it's just that I find her tan skin and dark eyes and hair exotic, but I have trouble taking my eyes off her. She's beautiful. I don't know what that thing is she's carrying, but she's keeping it close, like a mother cradling her child. The cloth she has around it slips for a moment and she quickly covers it up, hugging it closer. Wait, was that? Miguel and I exchange looks. He saw it, too. That was definitely gold! After a moment of silence, and darkness, the cave our boat is floating through opens out, and there's a glint of light in the sky from behind us.
Miguel and I turn and look on in astonishment at the city that lies before us. "It's El Dorado!" we both gasp in surprise.
Just as the legends say, there's a large temple-like building made of solid gold. Heck, even the butterflies that swarm past us are gold. This place is amazing. The stories didn't do it justice. The people of the city are all stopping and staring at us. One woman even drops the vase she's carrying. The natives force us off the boat. Even though they allow us to mount the horse, they lead us, at spear point, deeper into the city.
"Well, it was nice working with you, partner," I tell Miguel, almost certain this is the end of the road for us.
"Tulio, I just want you to know..." Miguel says, "I'm sorry about that girl in Barcelona."
"So... You... YOU f...!" I start. If looks could kill, he'd be dead right now. In fact, the only thing keeping him safe from being strangled by my own hands at this moment, is the crowd of natives surrounding us. Right now, they're the much bigger threat. The girl in question was from a few years ago. I had taken several days to woo her. I thought she and I had something special, and had even thought to marry her. She broke my heart, however. Just when I resolved to find a ring and purpose, she called it off, said she'd found someone else. It had been a long time since I'd been so devastated. Miguel found me later, in a tavern. Needless to say, I was sloshed from trying to drink away my sorrows. I wasn't exactly the best person to be around. Miguel drug me away from a half finished bottle and locked me into a hotel room. Just as I hate not having control, I can't stand being locked up. Being stupid-drunk, broken hearted, and locked in a room, I'd become violent. I hurled obscenities at him, and even threw a few random objects his way. It's a result of my father's temper, something I'm always trying not to cave into. Miguel caught the full brunt of it, locked in that room with me for a week, until I finally sobered up. ... I had nearly drank the tavern dry on my own. It's a wonder he didn't find me dead. I was awful to him, yet he stayed by my side the whole time, and I didn't even know he was the cause of my worries. I had one hell of a hangover when all was said and done. This left me locked in the room for yet a few more days, as even candle light was enough to set my head to throbbing. Miguel, really? YOU were the one she left me for? How could you? How could you even look me in they eye? I start to raise my hands, slowly, contemplating choking him.
"Behold!" a voice snaps me back to the present situation. Miguel lives...for now. A tall, slender native stands before us. He has a red streak of paint... Or at least what I HOPE is paint across his face, a large nose, and his hair is shoulder-length and tied back. He looks like he's someone rather important. "Citizens, did I not predict that the gods would come to us?" Miguel and I look at each other, then glance around at the gathering crowd. Wait? Do you mean...? "My lords," he continues, "I am Tzekel-Kan, your devoted high priest."
A larger, even more important looking man steps up next to him. "I am Chief Tannabok. What names may we call you?"
"I am Miguel," Miguel says.
"And I am Tulio," I reply.
"Your arrival has been greatly anticipated," Tzekel-Kan says. It has? The Cheif tries to ask us another quetion, but the high priest blows him off, by pulling the girl from earlier out of the crowd. Again, I can't help eyeing her. Why do I find her so fascinating? "Ah, I see you captured this temple-robbing theif. How would you have her punished?"
"Oh, no! You misunderstand, my lord. I'm no thief," the girl says, "The gods sent me a vision to bring them tribute to help guide them. My only wish is to serve the gods." She tries to bow, and glances over at Miguel and me, as if pleading for us to help her.
"Release her, don't you think?" I say, trying to force my eyes from her, onto the priest.
He lets her go and orders her to return the golden idol to its rightful place in the temple. Once more, the Cheif tries to question us, but the priest starts yelling at him. "You do not question the gods!"
"That's right, don't question us," Miguel says. Wait, what? Miguel, what the hell are you doing? "Or we shall have to unleash our awesome and terrible power! And you don't want that!" Shut the hell up, you idiot! At this point, I don't know if I'm better off to strangle him where we stand, or rip out my hair.
"Why, yes, we do!" the priest laughs.
"You do?" Miguel is clearly taken aback.
"Of course we do! Visit your wrath on this nonbeliever and show us your divinity!" the priests encourages.
"Divinity!" I say, grabbing hold of my partner's arm. NOW you've done it, dummy! "One moment!" I pull Miguel to the side and can't help scowling at him. "Miguel, you know that little voice people have that tells them when to quit while they're ahead? YOU DON'T HAVE ONE!"
"Well, I'm sorry. I got carried away," Miguel apologizes. Really, you don't say?
"Waay away!" I scold him.
"Maybe we should tell the truth and beg for mercy?" he suggests.
"Are you nuts? We'll be butchered alive!" I rebuff.
"But they're getting suspicious. If we don't come up with some mega-cosmic event..." he starts in.
Damn it. Once again, it all falls on me to wrangle things up, and get the situation under control. I have to think of something, and I have to think FAST! "I'm trying... I'm trying, but there's just too many distractions." The ground shakes as a volcano in the distance seems to be ready to erupt. There's an armadillo that's been following us for quite some time now, running circles around my feet, trying to catch a golden butterfly. Miguel's being his usual, lovable, idiotic self, and there's the pressure of an entire city of natives waiting for us to prove we're a couple of deities. Miguel slaps my forehead a couple of times. I suppose he thought that would help, as I'd started banging my head on a post in the brig trying to figure out how to escape Cortes. "STOP!" I finally shout. My voice echoes again, and everything goes dead silent. The natives are on their knees. The armadillo and butterfly are no longer frolicking. The volcano is still and silent. What the hell just happened? Miguel turns to one of the guards, who's still standing, and says something to him. I'm not certain what Miguel said, but, the guard bows.
"My lords, let me show you to your temple," the priest invites us.
"All right. Temple," I muse out loud.
The priest and the chief lead us up the tall golden building. It's amazing how we'd traversed the entire jungle so easily, yet now Miguel, Altivo, and I are all totally winded by a flight of stairs, that even the chief, big as he is, seems to have no trouble climbing. Miguel and I are quick to strike a confident pose when the two natives turn back to us. The priests offers to preform a ceremony in honor of our arrival at dawn, while the chief suggest a feast for us tonight. I've got to admit, FOOD sounds good right about now.
"Which would you prefer?" the priest asks.
"Both?" I say, looking to Miguel.
"Both," Miguel agrees.
"Both!" we say in unison.
The two natives bow and take their leave. "Tulio, they actually think we're gods!" Miguel laughs, once we're alone.
"It's an entire city of suckers," I laugh, "We just have to keep this up long enough to load up on the gold and get the hell out of here!"
"Hello," a voice interrupts us. It's the girl from before. Miguel wiggles his fingers at her and clicks his tongue, trying to scare her. I threaten her with lightning bolts, but she's not buying it. "Save it for the priest, Honey, you're going to need it."
Miguel continues trying to scare her. "Miguel. It's not working. Miguel, we've been caught," I say.
"No, don't worry about me," the girl says, "'My only wish is to serve the gods' Remember?"
"How?" I ask.
"Well, you want the gold, so you don't want to get caught," she says, "Then you're going to need my help."
"What makes you think we need your help?" Miguel asks.
She mimics the finger wiggling and tongue clicking he'd been doing. "Seriously?" I try not to laugh, but the horse has no trouble vocalizing at this.
"So, who are you?" Miguel asks, seemingly somewhat flabbergasted.
"Yeah, what's your angle?" I inquire, cautiously.
"I want in," she says.
"In?"
"On the scam," she says calmly.
I laugh. "There's no scam! Why would you think there's a... Why?"
"So I can get out," she replies.
"I thought she said she wants in?" Miguel is clearly confused now.
"She wants in, so she can get out," I explain.
"Ah, right... W-why?" he shrugs his shoulders at her, sounding even more confused now.
"You've got your reasons, I've got mine," she replies, "Let's not make it personal. Just business." Yeah, good idea. Letting it get personal could ruin everything. My eyes start wandering her up and down again. She really is beautiful. Wow, and really soft. She wraps her arms around our shoulders and is holding us just inches from her breasts. This close, I can tell she smells rather nice, too. "So, when you boys go back to WHEREVER you came from, I'm coming with you."
"No, I don't think so!" I say, exercising every inch of willpower I have in order to pull away from her.
"Alright, fine," she says, starting to walk away. "After all, I'm sure," she begins listing a number of things that we'll need to know in order to pass ourselves off as gods. Things that we really will need an insider's guide to. She pinches my cheek. "And I'm sure you know all about Xibalba. Okay? Good luck." She turns to walk away again, "See you at the execution."
"Whoa, hold on!" I exclaim, running after her.
"Deal?" she asks.
"Deal," Miguel says, reaching out to shake hands with her.
I push him away. Why is he always so eager to jump the gun? WHY does the idea of caution allude him so easily? "Not yet. Let's see how this works out, first."
"Then I guess you'll want these back?" the girl asks, holding out my loaded dice.
"How did you get those?" I ask, snatching them out of her hands.
"Where was she keeping them?" I hear Miguel ask, from behind me.
"Call me Chel, your new partner," she says with a smile. Great, she's THAT kind of woman. She's beautiful and she knows it, and as a direct result, she knows how to use that to her advantage to get what she wants. Oh, she's going to be all kinds of trouble.
"That's partner in training," I start to rebuff.
"Put these on, your public's waiting," she insists, tossing some clothes our way.
We start to get dressed, but I hear a tiny giggle from behind us. Looking back, I find she hasn't even left the room. "Do you mind?" I ask.
"No," she shrugs, before realizing I'm asking her to leave. I may be a conman, but I do have SOME modicum of modesty. She leaves, but not before giving one last peak and a rather flirty sounding, "Bye."
Miguel nudges me. "Maybe this place should be called Chel Dorado?"
Woah! No, back up partner! "She's trouble! Wait a minute!" I insist.
"What?" Miguel asks.
"Remember the little voice?" I ask. I can see the look of 'Awe, c'mon!?' in his eyes, already. "Just for a second, imagine you have one. What would it be saying about Chel?" Miguel looks the way she left and makes a sexually playful growling-purring noise. "No, no! Listen," I sigh. Not that I blame him. She's gorgeous. I'm thinking the same thing, but MY little voice DOES exist. "We are partners. We have a plan, remember?"
"Get the gold, go back to Spain," Miguel says, as though he were in school, quoting his daily lessons.
"Yes, and we're pretending to be gods. Now, put Chel in the mix. What does the voice say?" I ask.
He mulls it over for a second, and I'm beginning to think I'm going to have to spell it out for him. But then he hesitantly states, "Chel is off-limits?"
"Chel is off-limits!" I parrot, happily. Thank God that was easier to get across than I'd expected it to be. I've seen women like her before. She's beautiful, yes, but again, she uses that to her advantage. She could easily play us both for fools if we trust her too easily. She could sell us out, or play us against one another, or wait until we're all out of the city then run with as much of the gold as she can carry on her own in the middle of the night. Hell, it could end up like Barcelona all over again. Even so, they think we're gods. Gods don't play around with mortals! "Shake on it?" We shake in agreement. The girl is a partner, an ends to a means, and that's it. Like she said, it's not personal just business.
Miguel reaffirms my current train of thought with his own words of, "Besides, we're supposed to be gods. We must avoid giving in to temptation."
"Gods..." I groan, "This is going to be tougher than I thought."
"Tulio, relax!" Miguel says. While Miguel is usually the ONLY person who can get me to relax, it usually doesn't happen when he actually tells me to. He playfully pinches my chin. "All you have to do is smile, act godly, and follow my lead." Excuse me? Follow YOUR lead? Your lead's what's got us in this mess in the first place!