No one sets out to be a heroin addict. It's not a lifestyle choice."
Janice: six years clean, Middletown, New Jersey, US
Danny didn't know how to feel about the first meeting with other recovering drug addicts. It was in a setting much like he had imagined it would be. Stale walls covered with posters of drug addiction being dangerous to all around. The group seemed to be familiar with one another. They all seemed to have a camaraderie despite their obvious differences in life's stature. Danny listened but didn't really speak. Fortunately for him, that wasn't required. A quick introduction was all that the session asked for. No last names were used at the meeting.
The group consisted of fifteen people. Danny couldn't remember their names as he was to nervous about introducing himself. That was odd to him as he had group session in juvenile hall. But this was different, they weren't forced to be here. It was a choice of them all to get better from their addiction.
"I'm Blake." Blake Simms smiled charmingly. "I've came with a friend as his support."
"I'm Danny." Danny smirked as usual. "I'm the friend Blake is supporting."
Danny brushed his long hair from his eyes. He chose to wear it down to hide himself due to the shame that suddenly enshrouded him. Danny knew one thing for sure. He was no better than these people in this room. Some looked like what would be considered typical of drug abusers. It was odd to him that he already had envisioned long ago what a typical drug user would look like. Blackened nails, skinny body, sunk in face and dark circled eyes was what he had in mind of a drug user. That was before he became one himself. So the typical look of a drug user was there in some of the people. Others looked like richer people or society's finest. Danny felt he may fall somewhere in the middle. Even though he was probably the wealthiest there, he didn't flaunt his wealth like a few in the room.
One girl in particular caught Danny's interest. She was a heavy set girl with darkened eyes and a broad smile. Her jewelry told she came from a wealthy upbringing. She had the attitude of pride yet deep down she seemed vacant and soulless. However, when she spoke about her life changing from drugs to sober, there was a spark that lit the room. Not one sentence came from her that didn't thank God or Jesus Christ. It didn't even offend a nonbeliever as Danny. She had her security in something. As far as Danny was concerned anything to cling to was great if it kept someone from using drugs.
"What keeps you sober, Danny?" The pudgy young girl, who only said her name was Faith, which fit her perfectly after hearing her talk, asked of him. She had finished her own tale of her addicted life style. She had told of her week and one moment of weakness where she craved the drug so bad but didn't partake.
The leader of the group session spoke up quickly to assure Danny. "You don't have to answer questions but I allow anyone to ask."
"It's fine." Danny glanced up from fiddling with his fingers. "Her name is Lacey."
Lacey found herself slowly ascending the loft stairs of an old barn. The barn was abandoned on the outskirts of the Crane Horse Stables. Danny had texted her phone and asked her to meet him there . Her eyes caught the many candles perched along the railing.
"Hi." Danny breathed out in a whispered voice. "You look breathtaking."
Danny gasped at her beautiful face surrounded by tendrils of curled hair. His eyes traveled over Lacey's simple pink shirt and gray skirt noticing her brown, toned legs. Lacey's face flushed at the sheer magnitude of his gaze.
"Wow. I love the candles." Lacey exhaled as the romantic atmosphere made her feel giddy with anticipation.
"I hoped you'd like it. At least I didn't rent out a whole restaurant showing off. " Both teens shared a slight chuckle before Danny took Lacey's hand. He led her on up the loft steps.
"Wow. Impressive." Lacey stared at Danny. She didn't mean the atmosphere. She meant him. He was dressed in a simple t-shirt that hugged his upper body. He wore light colored jeans wore out at the knees. His hair was down touching his shoulders.
He had set up the loft in a makeshift fort. An old couch, with a clean new quilt tossed over it, sat in the corner of the old cleaned out loft.
Danny turned to catch her gaze. "I miss us."
"Me too." Swinging their entwined hands, Lacey headed to the couch. "What is that?"
She pointed to two long stemmed wine glasses filled with a caramel colored liquid. She swallowed fearing it was alcohol.
"It's okay." Danny sat down beside her. "It's just cream soda. I may not have dove into alcohol as I did drugs. But I'm not ever going to get addicted to another substance like that. So I don't expect you to partake either."
Lacey smiled. She glanced over at her charming boyfriend. She didn't know why but apprehensiveness was overwhelming her body. She shyly slid off the couch onto her knees. Danny had placed a shag carpet and pillows on the floor in front of the couch. Lacey crawled to be between Danny's legs.
"I thought things would be so simple now. Easier." Danny gazed into her eyes. The drugs were out of his system. But the enormity of their love was striking them both with a fear of the realism of that love. "But they never are? Are they?"
"No. No they're not." Lacey's pad of her thumb rubbed Danny's lips. She pulled Danny from his seat to join her on the rug. With their hands joined, they backed up.
Danny timidly leaned in to kiss Lacey's lips. Both of them trembled in each other's arms. Lacey pulled from his lips. His eyes still lingered closed as he felt her lips leave his. He opened his eyes staring at her.
Lacey swallowed as she unbuttoned Danny's shirt. Her fingers nimbly undid his buttons. They'd been here before. Touching intimately. But this time was different. Without the drugs and pressures of life, they faced this was love. Both knew from this moment on, there was no turning back. No excuses of getting carried away. This was pure and innocent.
"I want to be near you but I don't want to go to intimacy so soon." Lacey didn't want to tease Danny. Therefore, she wanted to make things perfectly clear. "But I need help with that line, Danny. Sometimes, I blur it too."
Danny nodded his understanding due to Lacey's newness of whatever she was experiencing in her religious life. Danny understood that the new life of hers came with uncertainties. Until she could figure out where she was headed as far as her Christianity, he'd support her just as she has supported him with his drug abuse.
Lacey raked Danny's shirt from his body. Her fingers lingered on his chest. She stared down exploring the skin exposed to her. Lacey could feel the heartbeat inside his chest. The fast paced rhythm mimicked her own.
Danny gulped as he pushed Lacey's shirt from her own body. She had a tight tank top beneath her shirt that wasn't removed. He studied her form. Then he lowered her slowly to the rug below. He made sure to lie beside her. Then with a crashing of souls, their lips met.
There was no quick removal of clothing. Every moment was cherished as the teen lovers allowed garments to stay on. It was painstakingly slow as they made out with touching of skin that seemed not to have boundaries. Hands timidly touched each others bodies. Their skin smoldered at the touch of the fingertips against flesh.
Their eyes sparkled as they connected in a gaze. His kiss was slowly consuming her. There was no immediate use of tongue. Instead, their lips melted into soft sculptures. The pleasure of Lacey's soft rose petal lips taken by Danny's own lips was enough for mere moments. Then with a flicker of her tongue against his bottom lip, Lacey wanted more intensity. Her tongue was imploring for access to his. Danny slowly opened his mouth catching her tongue between his lips. He sucked slowly.
Lacey moaned as her body instinctively arched towards Danny's body. His hand was making his way up her thigh. His fingers relished every burning pleasurable inch of her skin. The kisses became so intense. Danny pulled away to breathe.
Not wanting to give up his lips connecting to her, Danny lips met the skin of her neck. Passion was evident. Lust, desire….need. They were feeling it all. Danny's movements were slow and strained to remain in control.
Hovering over her, Danny raked back Lacey's hair from her face. "I love you."
"I love you." Her words were hard to speak due to mind boggling emotions attacking her heart.
Danny moved slowly between Lacey's taut thighs. They still remained with clothes in tact and sex in their minds but not acted upon. Their kisses were connecting with a sweltering liberation of souls. The candles flickered against blistering beads of sweat accumulating on equally fiery skin. Danny's guttural moan filled the air. Lacey closed her eyes enjoying his sound of relinquishment. On the drugs, Danny had wanted to own her. To possess her to bend to his whims. Now, he only wanted to join her in a bond neither could explain.
Lacey clinched her eyes closed as his movement tortured her pleasurably. She only wanted more of him. But there was no more to give. Danny was giving himself to her completely. Sex didn't need to happen to give each other their hearts.
Their limbs entangled in a barrage of movement as they tried their best to keep from the intimacy both craved. Sliding of moist skin created a friction that resounded in the silence of the loft. Both thinking of a time when the convulsing of bodies. Both thinking of the moment when sheer and utter ecstasy was reached by making love. Both teens remembering the colliding of skin against skin until exhaustion overtook their bodies then a sudden crashing of euphoric pleasure shook their very cores. It was there on their minds in an explicit reminder of what they had both experienced in the past with sex dominating their relationship. However, both teens wanted more than the lust and desire this time in their relationship. They wanted the time to stand still as they relished in just being together in innocence of first love. Sexual intimacy wasn't needed at the moment to make them feel any closer.
Sneaking over her long dark lashes, a tear escaped Lacey's eyes. Danny pulled back in panted breath. He didn't ask if he hurt her. He never questioned the tear. His own tear was making its way down his face. They both knew the tear was an overflowing of emotion that couldn't be contained. A simple tear represented their union of bodies at one time. But more importantly, now the tear represented the union of their souls.