Nightmare
Fire burned in the distance, crackling and hissing. The night was cold and dark. Something was wrong. But what was it? Then Seraphina saw it.
The ground was littered with dead bodies. Each of the wounds looked as though they had been created by a lightsaber. The scent of smoke from the fire and burning flesh filled the air. A figure dressed in black stood in the middle of the bodies, a red lightsaber in their hand. At first, Seraphina thought that it was Amaro, but then she noticed his body among the other corpses.
The figure in black was a female. And Seraphina realized that it was her. Her eyes were yellow and she looked terrifying.
Seraphina watched herself as her darker self took the red saber and plunged it into the Seraphina standing in front of her. This Seraphina was dressed in white. The white Seraphina crumpled to the ground, the life leaving her eyes.
You will be mine. A voice said, echoing in the dark coldness of the night.
Seraphina screamed and sat up in the bed, her eyes wide and her breathing rapid. She hugged her knees to her chest and worked on slowing her heartbeat.
Amaro burst into her room, scaring Seraphina half to death. "Are you okay?" he asked, sitting on the edge of her bed.
She looked away. "I'm fine. Just a nightmare." But even Seraphina couldn't convince herself that she was fine.
Amaro raised an eyebrow. "I know you better than that."
"Do you?" she asked.
"Yes, I do. You would be willing to die to save those close to you. You fear the Dark Side but are also curious about it. You want to know about your family and why they left you on Tatooine. But part of you doesn't want to know."
"Stop," Seraphina whispered, tears beginning to form in her eyes.
"You want me to turn to the light and run away from the First Order and my master. I saw that in you when I brought you onboard my ship a year ago."
"Please, stop." Seraphina begged. A tear slid down her cheek.
"Seraphina, what's wrong?" Amaro took her hand held it in his.
Seraphina shook her head. "I had a nightmare. That's all."
"Care to tell me?"
Seraphina bit her lip. She didn't want to remember the details of the dream. Nevertheless, she told him her dream. He listened to every word and when she was done, more tears had made their way down her cheek. "I had killed them." She whispered. "Everybody I cared about was dead. My family… my friends… the Resistance… you."
Amaro hated to see her upset. He realized that her nightmares kept getting worse. He rubbed his knuckles along her jaw and placed a hand against her cheek. To his surprise, she touched his hand and leaned into the touch, closing her eyes. "It will be alright. You'll see. And I want you to know that I'll always be here for you. Okay?"
Seraphina nodded and opened her eyes. "Thank you."
Amaro removed his hand and was about to stand and leave when Seraphina wrapped her arms around his neck and hugged him. He was too stunned to do anything for several seconds. Finally, he wrapped his arms around her and hugged her back. She rested her head against his shoulder. "I know Josh is still in there." She whispered. "I've seen him multiple times while being here with you."
Amaro sighed. "I still care about you. But the Josh you knew won't return."
Seraphina felt another tear slide down her cheek at his comment. Part of her said to stop hugging him. The other part of her said to continue. She needed comfort and no one else would be willing to give it to her. She was still so lonely; her heart still broken even after finding her family. While it had started to mend while being on Ahch-To, it wasn't completely healed. And she supposed that it never would be.
She stayed there in his hold, comfortable. His touch was gentle and comforting. He didn't want to hurt her. She realized that he really did care about her, not just the power she held. She felt something towards him. She felt like she was with her friend again. Amaro rubbed his hand on her back and she sighed.
When she pulled away, she looked Amaro in the eye. "Why do you keep doing that?"
"Doing what?" Amaro asked.
"Comforting me. I'm still confused by it."
"The Force is telling me to do so though I don't know why." Was his answer.
Seraphina didn't know what to say. The Force worked in mysterious ways. Could this be a way to turn Amaro to the Light Side? Amaro leaned forward and kissed her forehead.
"Try and get some sleep." He whispered.
She nodded and laid back down. Amaro left the room and Seraphina was hit with another dream.
Seraphina looked to her left where a never-ending sea of dark stretched out as far as the eye could see. She looked to her right where an expanse of light spread out. She looked down at her feet. She was walking on a narrow path of gray. She began leaning towards the light before steadying herself. Then she was leaning towards the darkness. She struggled to remain on the path of gray while both the Light and Dark Side pulled at her.
She found herself leaning towards the darkness more than the light. She fought to stay in the middle but was struggling. The more she walked this path of gray, the more the darkness called to her. It took all her strength of will to not fall over to it. She knew that if she did then she would never be able to leave it, or it would be extremely difficult to do so.
A figure stood in the darkness while the same figure also stood in the light. The one on the Dark Side wore black and had yellow eyes. The one on the Light Side wore white and had blue eyes. Both had brown hair pulled into a braid. The one dressed in black held a red lightsaber while the other one had a blue lightsaber.
Seraphina glanced at her own clothes. They were gray like the path that she walked. She held a white lightsaber, a sign that she had left the Jedi Order but did not turn to the Dark Side. Both figures were now fighting, their lightsabers crashing against each other.
It's always the same thing. Seraphina thought. Jedi vs. Sith, good against evil, red vs. blue, and Light vs. Darkness.
Seraphina cold feel the internal battle between her Dark and Light Side selves. They reminded her of lightning; both sides were powerful and dangerous. Yet there was something fascinating about seeing them fight. They were fighting for control over her. Both wanted to have control but only one could be in charge. When the Dark Seraphina plunged her saber into the Light Seraphina, the real Seraphina sat up, gasping.
She glanced at the clock on the table beside her. 8:32 A.M. She rubbed the sleep out of her eyes and went into the bathroom to shower and change. After changing into the black attire with a groan, she sat down on the bed and brushed her wet hair when Amaro walked in.
"Good, you're awake." He said moving to sit next to her. "We'll be arriving in two hours."
Seraphina took a deep breath. "Two hours. Got it." She continued to braid her hair, wanting to give her hands something to do but without showing her nervousness.
Amaro could sense it though and when she had finished working on her hair, he held her hand. "It's going to be alright."
Seraphina looked away. "We're going to see you're master. I… I don't think I'm ready."
Amaro squeezed her hand. "I will be alright. I promise."
Seraphina laughed. "The last time you promised something, it resulted in me being cornered by a wampa."
Amaro smiled, remembering the mission on Hoth that she was referring to. "It wasn't my fault. I blame it on the weather. If that storm hadn't hit us, you would have been fine."
"You wandered off once it started snowing." She protested.
"I wandered off? You ambled away."
"Fine, fine," She sighed, leaning her head against his shoulder.
He inhaled sharply at the motion. Did she really trust him that much now? She had allowed him to hold her several times already. Could that be a sign that she trusted him?
"Are we going to train while waiting for the ship to arrive to… wherever we're going?" she asked.
"No," he answered. "There will be no training today."
"Why am I suddenly worried about the reason behind that answer?" she joked.
Amaro chuckled. "Don't worry. The reason is nothing bad."
She shifted her head to look at me. "Now I'm curious."
He laughed and placed a kiss on the top of her head. "I think I'll keep that reason to that myself." He stood and before he exited the room, he stopped in front of the door. "Be ready to leave when I come back."
When he left, Seraphina's heart began to race. She was sure that she wouldn't survive the meeting with Amaro's master.