A/N – Sorry again for such a long wait, I don't know why I've making you wait so long lately, I just can't seem to get anything going. Anyway, this one's a little shorter than usual, but it's full of drama, so I hope you enjoy it. Thanks for all the reviews by the way, they make me smile.
June 30, 2001
"Was it really that bad?" Eric asked as he sat on the couch in the basement late that night.
Jackie was sitting next to him, they both were just sitting in the dimly lit room. It was late, almost one. Red and Kitty had gone to bed over three hours ago, as had the kids.
"You scared everyone shitless," Jackie said.
This was the first time they had discussed the severity of the seizure he had all day. After he became coherent again his parents asked about his disease, but after a few minutes of talking about it they dropped, assuming he didn't want to talk about it anymore, but Eric could tell they still had many more questions.
"Did I scare you?" Eric asked, looking down at her.
Jackie looked up into his hazel eyes and nodded, "Yes."
Eric looked pale, the dark circles under his eyes standing out greatly. He was starting to worry her, "You look like you're going to pass out," Jackie said quietly.
Eric grimaced as he adjusted his shoulders, "I'm still beat from my little episode earlier. Don't worry, I'll be better tomorrow."
Jackie nodded, but she knew that wasn't true. He may have bounced back from his seizure tomorrow, but he'll still be depressed and he'll still be malnourished. Jackie wished so bad that she could help him. That she could make all his pain go away, but she knew it wasn't that easy.
Eric looked around the basement, smiling, "They haven't changed a thing."
Jackie smiled with Eric and nodded, "They never wanted to. It reminded them of you, so they just never changed it."
Eric frowned and looked down at his hands in his lap, muttering, "I wish I could go back and change everything. Make myself come and visit them, at least call them. But instead I decided to be a self-centered jackass."
Jackie smiled nudged him with her shoulder, "You had your reasons Eric. Don't beat yourself up over what's happened in the past, just be happy that you've come to see your family now."
Eric nodded, "Yeah, you're right," Eric said, smiling a little, still looking around the room. Everything was exactly where he left it. Hyde's fold up chair was still in the same spot, the same ratty blanket hung off the back of the couch, his record player was still by the door.
He wondered if his records still worked.
Eric stood up and stepped over to the record player, looking over all the old dusty records. Jackie watched him carefully, a small smirk playing across her lips.
"What're you doing?" She asked him, crossing her arms over her chest.
Eric swiped his hand across the records, freeing them of dust, "I'm going to see if these still work."
Jackie watched him as he silently flicked through the records, trying to pick from the many he owned. Jackie watched as he pulled out a blank white album cover and smile down at it before he pulled the record out of it's sleeve and turn to the record player.
Jackie sat there patiently as he put the record on and put the needle at a random spot on the record.
"Dear Prudence, won't you come out to play…"
Jackie smiled at the sound of John Lennon's scratchy voice and looked up at Eric as he made his way back over to the couch.
"You like The Beatles, right?" He asked her, a smile on his face as he stood above her.
Jackie smiled back up at him smugly, her arms still crossed, "As I recall, you once called me Yoko."
Eric chuckled and nodded, "Well, to be completely honest, you were ruining friendships."
Jackie gaped, but smiled as she smacked Eric on the arm, "I was not!"
Eric looked up in thought and tilted his head, "Eh, you kind of were."
Jackie glared at him playfully and jabbed her finger into his ribs, "Shut up."
Eric lurched away when her small finger poked him in the side, but smiled. Jackie was laughing at him, which made him smile even more, "You think that's funny?"
Jackie nodded, "Yes, yes I do."
"Yeah?" Eric then poked her in the side, making her giggle, "What about now?"
Jackie nodded, "Yep, it's still funny," She said as she stood, a smile still on her face, "But it's funnier when it happens to you."
Eric raised an eyebrow, "Why's that?"
Jackie then started poking him in the sides again, making him laugh, "Because you have a dorky laugh!" She cried over his laughter.
She continued to tickle Eric, his skinny arms trying to push her away, but he was laughing too hard. Jackie was laughing too as Eric fell back down onto the couch, lying on his back as Jackie continued to poke him on his sides and stomach.
Over Eric's laughter Jackie could still hear John Lennon singing in the background.
"Greet the brand new day…"
Jackie was basically sitting on Eric now, her tiny fingers running down Eric's stomach and sides. She was just enjoying seeing him laugh and smile. She hasn't seen him do either in a very long time.
"Okay! Okay!... I give up!" Eric cried, putting his hands up, "I give up! You win!"
"Say Jackie's the best!" She said over his laughter as she continued to tickle him mercilessly.
"Never!" Eric said between gasps of air and laughter.
"Say it or I won't stop!" Jackie cried, laughing herself.
"Okay, okay! Jackie's the best!" Eric laughed, trying to push her hands off of him.
"And Eric's a nerd!" Jackie smiled.
"I'm a nerd!" Eric cried, making Jackie laugh.
"You didn't have to say that, I was just making an observation," Jackie laughed.
Eric finally got ahold of her wrists and pulled them away from his body, but instead of her getting off of him she slipped and fell, landing on top of him. Now their faces were inches apart. But the awkwardness wouldn't ensue until they both caught their breath and stopped laughing.
It only took a few moments for it to stop, and when they finally did they looked into each other's eyes. They both were blushing, but it kind of just blended in from the redness their faces already held from laughing for so long.
Neither of them spoke for a moment, they just looked at each other. Jackie was smiling because Eric was smiling, it was rare to see him smile these days. Usually when he'd smile it'd be forced or he'd look tired, but this smile was genuine. He actually looked happy.
"Um…" Eric hummed, never breaking eye contact.
It took Jackie a minute to comprehend that he'd even spoke in her mind, and when she did she broke eye contact, feeling awkward all the sudden.
"Oh, um, yeah…" Jackie pushed herself up and off of Eric, sitting on the couch next to him as he too sat up, "Sorry…"
"It's alright," Eric chuckled as Jackie fixed her hair that had fallen into her face.
She looked so beautiful, Eric couldn't help but stare at her. She had pretty eyes. He's never seen eyes like that on anyone. He could look into them forever.
Jackie finally looked over at Eric after smoothing out her shirt, a small smile gracing her lips, her face flushed.
The song playing in the background was coming to a close, Eric knew because he's heard a thousand times before.
"The sun is up…"
Eric looked between Jackie's eyes and her lips. He could just kiss her. Jackie was looking at Eric's eyes, feeling her heart speed up.
"The sky is blue…"
Was he getting closer? It felt like he was getting closer. She could feel the heat radiating off his body. Yes, he was definitely getting closer.
"It's beautiful…"
They were just inches apart now, Eric had his arm slung over the back of the couch as he leaned further towards Jackie. It was now or never. Eric told himself before he gripped the back of the couch and swiftly filled the gap between them.
"And so are you…"
It took Jackie a moment to respond. She was a little taken off guard by how quickly he had moved in on her, but she reacted soon enough. She closed her eyes and moved her mouth against his, pushing her hands to his chest and gripping his shirt, pulling him closer to her.
Eric grunted a noise of surprise, but he moved his hand from the back of the couch to the back of her head, tangling his fingers in her hair.
The kiss seemed like it lasted forever, but it was only just a few seconds. Jackie was the one to pull away, but her hands never left Eric's chest.
Eric opened his eyes and looked at Jackie, feeling like he did something wrong, "Sorry…" He said, letting go of Jackie and pulling away, but she grabbed the chest of his shirt and pulled him back.
"For what?" Jackie asked, giving him a curious look.
"For… You know…" Eric said, slightly embarrassed as his cheeks turned pink.
Jackie giggled and snaked her arms up around his neck, pushing her fingers into his hair as she pulled him closer, "There's nothing to be sorry for," She said quietly before she kissed him again, taking Eric by surprise this time.
This kiss was quicker though, and it didn't give Eric enough time to kiss back, but she didn't seem to mind.
As she pulled away she grabbed his trembling hands and looked up at his face. That seizure he had earlier really did a number on him.
Jackie gave Eric a warm smile and she squeezed his hands gently in hers, "Come on, you look tired. Let's go to bed."
Eric, still a little out of it from the kiss, just nodded his head and stood with her.
As they went up the stairs, she never let go of his hand.
0-0-0-0-0
Eric started complaining of his stomach hurting early in the morning. The sun hadn't even come up yet. He had eaten more than usual the day prior and that's obviously why he had a stomach ache, and he kept telling Jackie he 'needed' to go to the bathroom, but with the way he was acting, she knew what he meant by that.
He was being too twitchy and his voice was shaky, which meant he was lying. It was like throwing up everything was a comfort to him. It somehow helped him get through the day.
"Jackie…" Eric groaned irritably, turning over in bed to lay on his back, "Please let me go…"
Jackie had a tight grip of his hand, and even though he kept telling her to let him go, his grip on her hand wasn't exactly loose. It was like he wanted to go, but he knew he shouldn't and deep down he wanted Jackie to keep him from going.
"No, Eric, you're staying right here," Jackie snapped sternly, looking down at their entwined hands.
"But it really hurts…" Eric groaned, his eyes screwed shut.
He was sweating, a lot. It didn't help that he always layered his clothes. He was sleeping in a sweater, but it was thrown over a t-shirt. He was trying to appear as if he weighed an average weight for his height, but if he only wore the t-shirt he'd look sickly. But it was getting to the point where wearing layers or not, he always appeared ill. He was always pale, trembling and sweating. If my the end of the weekend he still looked this way, she was taking him to the hospital, whether he liked it or not.
"I know it hurts, but it'll pass," Jackie said, scooting closer to him.
"I don't know…" Eric was breathing heavily, thinking maybe that would help with the pain, "I feel like I'm going to be sick and I won't be able to help it this time."
"Well, wearing a heavy sweater probably isn't helping matters much," Jackie said, "Being hot never helps with feeling sick."
Eric nodded, "Maybe I should take it off?"
Jackie nodded, "That's what I'd do."
Eric slowly sat up and Jackie released his hand as he started to take the sweater off. Jackie had sat up with him and watched him carefully. She felt so bad for him. Why did he have to go through all of this?
Eric finally pulled his sweater over his head and he threw across the room and into the corner, but after he did that he made a sudden move to get up and dart to the bathroom, hoping to be too fast for Jackie to catch him, but he was wrong. Jackie wrapped her arms around his middle and pulled him to her, hugging him close to her.
"Jackie, please…"
Jackie rested the side of her head on Eric's back and shook her head, "You're not leaving this bed, Eric."
Eric let out a disgruntled sigh, "Jackie…" He choked back a sob this time and it made Jackie's heart break. She continued to hug him, hoping to offer him some comfort. She could feel how skinny he was as she had her arms wrapped around him, he seemed slimmer than before and it really worried her.
"Eric, I'm this close to taking you to the hospital," Jackie said, her voice muffled by his t-shirt.
Eric shook his head, "No, I'm fine, just…" He grabbed her hands and pulled her arms away from his middle, with a little bit of a fight, and turned around to face her, "Don't let me go."
Jackie could feel tears in her eyes, but she nodded and tightened her grip on his hands before he suddenly surprised her by wrapping his arms around her. Jackie returned the embrace as they both laid down on their sides, Eric's head resting against Jackie's shoulder.
Jackie wrapped one arm around his back, making sure he wasn't going anywhere as her other hand stroked his hair, trying to calm him down.
He was hyperventilating and it was stressing her out a little bit. Jackie didn't know how to calm him down, and that got to her for some reason. She just wanted to make him feel better and she couldn't do that easily and that really bugged her. Why couldn't she just hold him and tell him everything would be okay and then it would be? Why wasn't it that simple?
Eric kept telling Eric over and over again that it would be okay, hoping that maybe he'd just believe her. Jackie felt Eric grip her shirt tightly in his fist, as if he were a frightened little puppy dog.
"It's okay, Eric… It's okay…" Jackie whispered softly in his ear, continuously stroking his thick hair.
It was quiet for a moment, the only sound in the room was Jackie's quiet shushing and Eric's suppressed sobs.
Then Eric spoke, but very quietly, "Jackie…"
Jackie looked down at his face, seeing his eyes squeezed shut tightly, "Yes?"
Eric tried keeping his breathing even, but it kind of hard when you were having a panic attack, "I'm scared…"
Jackie frowned and tightened her hold around Eric, resting her head against his as she asked curiously, "Of what?"
"Of what I could do to myself," Eric said quietly, releasing a few tears.
Jackie sucked in a tense breath, "You're not thinking of cutting yourself again, are you?"
It was quiet for a quick several seconds before Eric spoke up, "Sometimes…"
Jackie pulled away from Eric then, resting her head on her pillow and looking at Eric face more clearly now. His eyes were open now and he was looking at Jackie sadly, as if were ashamed of himself. Had he scared her off?
Jackie grabbed Eric's hands and squeezed them tight as Eric averted her gaze, "And sometimes I think of worse things…"
It was now or never to let out everything he had his mind on.
Jackie furrowed her brow, "Worse things? Like what?"
When she was met with silence, Jackie's expression changed, "No… Eric, look at me."
Eric ignored her and let himself cry instead, which made Jackie grab his chin and force him to look up at her, "Eric, please… Open your eyes," After a minute or so of pleading with him, he finally did as she asked before she continued, "How often do you think about stuff like that?"
Eric shrugged sloppily, "A lot…" Eric sighed before he continued, "Sometimes, when I'm taking my medication, I just think maybe I should take more than two pills… Maybe I should take a handful… And sometimes when I'm on my way to work, I wonder if I should walk into the road and just let a car hit me. I'd be much better off—"
"Don't say that," Jackie suddenly snapped, grabbing Eric's arms, "Don't you ever say that!"
"Jackie…?"
"No, listen to me!" Jackie pleaded, feeling herself begin to cry, "People care about you. So many people care about you. Your Mom, your Dad, Laurie, Steven, Michael, Fez, Donna, Callie, Chris, me! We all care about you and we don't ever want to see you hurt. Please don't put everybody that loves you through that, please…"
It was then quiet as Eric tried to take in what she had just said. He knew people cared about him and he knew Jackie cared about him, just not this much. She looked genuinely upset, tears were falling from her beautiful hazel eyes. Eric didn't like seeing her upset.
"All those people you just mention, they all love me?" Eric asked quietly, gripping Jackie's hands gently.
Jackie nodded, "Of course they do. Why would you even question that?"
The corner of Eric's mouth twitched and he smiled a faint smile, but it was still noticeable, "And you said you love me. Is that true?"
Jackie was quiet for a moment. Oh God, what had she done?
"Um, well… Uh…" She didn't know how to respond. What was she supposed to say? What if he didn't feel the same?
She looked at Eric and her heart warmed a little when she saw he was smiling a tad. Well, at least his mind was off of everything else now.
Jackie sucked in a sharp breath, had a quick pep talk with herself, and released that breath before she spoke, "Eric, since we ran into you in New York, my life has changed completely. At first when we saw you, I was mad. I was so angry with you for leaving all of this behind without a word and never calling anybody to let them know you were okay, but then… But then I found out you weren't okay. You were sad because you were alone. I mean, yeah, you have Chris, but you don't really have any adult friends or even a girlfriend. And then I found out about your one time fiancé and her miscarriage, I found out about your illness… Things for some reason just don't seem to fall your way. But I feel like I was meant to come to New York so I could run into you and we would start talking again. I feel like I was supposed to go to New York to help you, and I'm trying, so hard, I really want you to feel better about yourself. And in the process of me helping you achieve that, 'we' sort of happened. And I feel like the more time we spend together the more I come to realize that… I really like you, and I have for a long time and could just never wake myself up to realize that you were the one for me… So, to answer your question. Yes, I did say I love you and I meant it. I love you, Eric. I always have."
As soon as she finished Eric planted a kiss on her mouth. Jackie made a small noise of surprise, but quickly relaxed into the kiss and placed her hand on the side of Eric's face. This kiss was a lot better than the two they shared earlier. A LOT better. It lasted longer than the last two as well, but not that much longer.
Eric pulled away after about ten seconds or so and looked down into Jackie's eyes, a smile on his face, "I love you, too."
Jackie smiled back at him and grabbed the front of shirt, pulling him back down for another kiss.
A/N – It started off kind of happy, then it got depressing again. I know, I keep doing this to you guys. Sorry. Eric should be getting his life back on track soon, it'll just take him a little time. I hope you enjoyed, and until next time.