Author's notes: Hi I know this is even shorter than normal but it's been a very difficult chapter to write and my writing time is now very limited as my hubby is home at the moment. I hope you like it, it will get a bit lighter in a couple of chapters. Reviews are always welcome and encouraging.
Jane!
He begins to stir. He opens his eyes and blinks to clear his vision. He's looks disorientated for a moment. He then sees Lisbon and pulls himself into a sitting position.
"Hey Lisbon, it's that time already?"
"No. You didn't answer your phone I thought something had happened to you, and what are you doing in my bed?"
Jane looks around as if he is only just realising where he is. He looks down at the covers and then at Lisbon. His face is filled with confusion.
"I don't know. I took a shower and got dressed, the last thing I remember is sitting down on the bed."
Jane's confusion wipes away Lisbon's indignation and she sits down next to him on the side of the bed.
"What's going on Jane? I think I should call the doctor."
Jane protests.
"No..no...no need for a doctor."
"I think there is Jane. You're not eating well, you look haggard and you're not yourself. I think you may have left the hospital too early."
"I'm fine Lisbon, just adjusting."
"You're not fine Jane, have you taken a good look at yourself?"
Jane shrugs.
"What's going on? You can tell me or tell a doctor."
Jane rolls his eyes.
I can't believe I fell asleep in Lisbon's bed. I can't remember climbing in. I was sat on the bed feeling exhausted. I know that everything she's saying is right. I'm not fine. I don't know myself any more.
Jane throws back the covers, plastering a smile on his face.
"Doctor's meh! What I need is a cup of tea."
Jane climbs out of the bed while he's talking, on the opposite side to where Lisbon is sitting. He's out the room before Lisbon collects herself. She quickly follows.
"Jane. You're not going to get out of it that easily."
Lisbon enters the kitchen where Jane is filling up the kettle.
"Tell me about your day. Did they throw you a big welcome back party?"
"I've only been gone a week Jane."
"I would've thrown you a party, a day is too long with out you there. The criminals around California will be shaking in their boots at the news that the Great Agent Lisbon is back. Would you like some tea?"
"No Jane I don't."
"Did you say hi to the guys for me?"
"Yes and they send to tell you that they're looking forward to having you back."
Jane busies himself with making his drink. Lisbon goes in to the fridge and pulls out a soda and goes into the living room to sit down and wait for Jane. Jane stops stirring and leans against the counter. He closes his eyes and takes deep breaths.
I don't think I was successful in distracting Lisbon. I'm going to have to come up with something convincing that will satisfy her.
He finishes stirring and removes the tea bag and joins Lisbon. He sits down on the couch and clears his throat.
"I'm sorry I caused you concern so that you had to cut short your day, but I'm perfectly all right. I was tired after taking a shower and dressing. I would have taken my phone in with me, if I'd known I was going to fall asleep. You don't need to worry about me, I'm just adjusting to being on the 'outside'. I just need a little time to realise what I can do and take little steps each day. I've just been trying to do too much. I'll look after myself better. I promise."
Lisbon hadn't missed the look Jane that crossed Jane's face when she'd mentioned going back to work. It was almost fear, but something else within that ran deep and had tore at her heart. She decided to that perhaps it wasn't wise to skirt the issue.
"Jane are you coming back to work?"
"Well I'm not ready yet. I will be spending even more time on the couch if I came back now."
Lisbon recognises Jane's tactics.
"I'm not talking about now. Are you coming back when you're well?"
"I guess so."
"You came to us to search for Red John and now that is done, I will understand if you're thinking of moving on. I want you back of course but you have to do what's good for you. You been through a lot and I can see that you may want a safer occupation."
"Lisbon can we not talk about this now, I'm feeling pretty tired."
Lisbon looks at him for a long moment.
"Jane, you're not tired, you just woke up, and you're not telling me the truth. Remember, in the hospital, when you said you would be honest with me. You know you can trust me with whatever it is."
Jane looks into his teacup, then up at the ceiling and then off to the side. . He feels panic rising up inside him. He has to squash an overwhelming desire to run out of the room. He does remember the promise and he remembers that she's someone that has proven he can trust his darkest feelings with. He's been so stupid to hide from her. He takes a deep breath.
"I'm lost."