So before the story begins, let me lose my composure for a bit.
hohohohoLLLYY CREEPPPES i saw my fanfic summary on supersmashbrosfanfiction on tumblr and the original MemeMemeMeme Brigade author likes my thing and i. i cannot right now. my mouth is overflowing with joy and its getting everything in my room wet. i need to stop. thanks to everyone whos read/reviewed this story so far, it means a lot to meeee! (does the dance of the happy fanfic writer) ( /o v o)/*:.~.:*\(o v o\)
Okay, I think I'm done freaking out now. Back to the story.
Ridley was just enjoying a peaceful, relaxing day in the park.
And by "peaceful and relaxing," I mean "totally not peaceful and relaxing at all." The enormous dragon was happily 420 blazing his way through the park, paving a path of death and destruction with his special 420 fire breath.
This was actually perfectly ordinary. Ever since Sakurai-senpai had turned him down, saying he was too big, Ridley had tried to get Sakurai's attention again by killing things with fire. Memelords didn't really like Ridley or that he thought "420 blazing it" meant "killing it with fire," but they never confronted him about it because they were too scared of being incinerated. And so Ridley kept burning the park down for about a month. It had gotten to the point where there was almost nothing left to wreck.
But, for some strange reason, the people still kept coming to the park. It was pretty stupid of them, but Ridley needed something to destroy.
The people of Smashville screamed in terror as they scrambled for cover, but no one was safe from Ridley. He carved a scorching trail in the ground with his 420 fire breath, incinerating some random citizens-
"BACK SLASH!"
Ridley was knocked to the ground! He turned around to see who had committed this vile act.
Shulk stood in the scorching trail made from Ridley's fire, glaring up at the space dragon. "It's time to d-d-d-d-duel!" he shouted, and pointed the Monado straight at Ridley's face.
"SKREE!"
Out of nowhere, the announcer appeared. "Ready... GO!" he yelled. A mashup of the main Metroid theme and Gangnam Style began to play.
Ridley realized that Shulk had just started a Smash match, and he was way, way bigger than Shulk. This was going to be easy. He closed the distance between them with a mere two strides and-
"NO! Don't do it!" a voice shouted.
Ridley, Shulk, and the announcer turned to see Master Hand floating behind them. Turns out that he had followed the announcer into the park without being noticed... somehow. "Ridley's too big, so Shulk wins by default."
The announcer looked rather disappointed. He had wanted to see Shulk defeat Ridley in a fight, since everyone wanted Ridley to stop 420 blazing the park. Anyone with a meme life knew that that was not the proper way to 420 blaze it. But nooo, no one could actually stop Ridley because apparently he was too big.
"GAME!" he said with a hint of annoyance. "And the winner is..."
"I'M REALLY FEELING IT!" Shulk did a pose with the Monado.
"Shulk!"
The match was over, and Shulk had won. While Ridley was frozen from shock at losing, Shulk reached into his chest and pulled out a pulsing orb of light.
A random disembodied voice within Shulk's head said, You got Ridley's memes! Now you have the ability to be too big! Not that that's very useful...
Shulk frowned.
But you also got the ability to kill things with fire!
"Noice!"
But since you're not big enough for the fire breath to work, it's not very useful, either...
"...Oh. Well, that's useless." Shulk tossed the orb over his shoulder and it rolled down a hill, away and out of sight.
With his meme taken from him, Ridley shrank in size until he was only slightly taller than Shulk. He noticed that he had gotten smaller and looked to the sky with hopeful eyes.
"I-I'm not too big anymore, Sakurai-sama. Can I be in Smash now?"
A heavenly face materialized in the sky, and it was the face of none other than Masahiro Sakurai himself, emitting a celestial light. "No," Sakurai casually whispered.
"But Sakurai-senpai, why?"
"I just don't think it would work out. You're still too big for me."
"S-sakurai-senpai..."
"You may be smaller, but the answer is still no." Sakurai's face disappeared.
The ethereal voice echoed over and over again in Ridley's ears. "No... no... no..." Each repeated denial was like a dagger to his fragile soul. His legs felt ready to give out.
Clouds floated in and completely covered the sky. Ridley and the carnage of his rampage were cast in a dull grey light.
"No," Sakurai had said, as if the matter was just as trivial as going to the bathroom and taking a huge dump.
Ridley fell to his knees, devastated. Sakurai really didn't want him in Smash. He went home and cried, but he didn't like if you crey evrytiem because he was no longer in the meme life. Instead, he climbed into his bed, which was now way too big for him, and sobbed into his giant Sakurai hug pillow like the pitiful non-Smasher he was.
Shulk couldn't stop himself from getting on Urban Dictionary again and looking up that definition.
"Memelord- an individual who shows a strong passion for memes; a joker."
"Yeah, you've said that twice already. You can stop now," Ness said from his computer.
"It's just that the sound of it just seems so... appealing."
"Okay, whatever. Just stop reading it out loud." He adjusted his cap. "Why would people even waste their life reading the same thing over and over again..."
"Like you're one to talk. It's been a whole two hours since I left, and here you are, still watching that Nyan Cat video!"
"Hey! Nyan Cat is an important contribution to society as it is today, okay?! Everyone should be well-versed in the ways of nyan and cat!"
"I think we'd all be better off without Nyan Cat! Like, all it is is 'NYANYANYANYANYA!' Do you want to sound like Sheik?"
"'Nya' isn't a stupid noise!"
The video got to the 6 hour, 6 minute, 6 second mark just as Ness finished speaking. The screen cut to a warped, bloody mess for a split second before turning off.
Shulk and Ness both stopped arguing to look at the computer.
"T-that wasn't just me, right?"
"I saw it too." Ness adjusted his cap again. "You know what, maybe I should stop watching Nyan Cat..." He reached toward Shulk to hug him for comfort.
"Don't hug me, I'm scared."
"Don't say that, you're just making it worse."
They both remembered the day when Link first discovered that green was not a creative color. They began to shudder violently.
"Let's just... go back to our rooms and forget we ever saw that."
"I am perfectly okay with that."
Ness and Shulk both got up and left the room, leaving Captain Falcon to do his own thing. As they walked down the hallway and up the stairs to their rooms, Shulk thought to himself again. Which memelord to fight next?
Maybe next he should take down the boxer. He could actually face the side-B spammer in a fight, and he seemed fairly easy to beat. If he could lure him off the side of the stage...
He opened the door to his room, and afternoon sunlight filtered in through the window.
...Yeah, that seemed like a good idea. Tomorrow, he would beat Little Mac and hope that he actually had some good memes. He got into his bed and took a ridiculously long nap, lasting precisely 11.725 hours.
Meanwhile, Master Hand sent a small squad of four Smashers out to the park. He needed them to fence it in and keep people out so he could fix it easier.
Sonic insisted on fencing it in himself, saying that everyone was "too slow!" Sheik, Bowser, and Pikachu were all too lazy to say no, so they just wandered around and let Sonic do it on his own.
Bowser decided to go back to the mansion. Pikachu went to see if there was any secret passages. He ended up walking into one of the abandoned buildings and found a random Dedenne.
"THERE CAN ONLY BE ONE ELECTRIC MOUSE, YOU RIPOFF!" Pikachu shouted, and then he got into a fight with the ripoff.
Sheik wandered around the park, looking for nothing in particular. Maybe she thought she would find a few stray gold coins. There was that one trophy she really wanted to buy...
Behind one of the less burned buildings, she came across a strange, pulsing orb of light. Maybe it was some sort of equipment she could sell? She picked it up and stuffed it in her pocket for later.
Ohoho, looks like Sheik found Ridley's memes. What's going to happen next? Actually, I'm not too sure myself.
Next chapter, Shulk faces off against Little Mac, the side-B spammer! I hope you've learned how to jump, Mac...