The fall was the most excruciating. Somewhere along the way, the hand that held Sam's was released. But not willingly. It was ripped away. All around him there was darkness. He had to double check his eyes were actually closed. Slowly, his sight began to adjust and he felt underneath him. Sand? Sam sat up and the wind swirled around him, sand stuck to his elbows and clothing like glue. His eyes whipped around for something, anything. Any sign of life. But there was no one. No one was here. Then again, Sam could barely make do with three feet in front of him...no long distance for now.

Castiel had to be around here somewhere. That was his immediate concern. Castiel would protect him. Everything didn't matter but Castiel. He was going to come back for him. He had to.

But there was no sign of Castiel...There was sand particles flying everywhere in a storm and he had no way of seeing through it. Only a very faint orange light was filtering through the skies. Even as Sam looked up, hoped to catch a glimpse of something, anything through the storm, he found nothing. He stretched out with all of his senses and he did hear something, at the very least. It was faint and he almost didn't catch it, something shifting in the sand.

Sam trudged through the sand towards the source. Was it just him or were his feet sinking? No, he didn't need to pay attention to that. What if it was Castiel sinking to the bottom of a sandy sea? He couldn't allow that to happen, no matter what the cost. Castiel mattered, if nothing else.

What was this place? Where was it? Was this truly the ninth circle that everyone had feared? It was a desert. The ninth circle was a desert? How lame. You'd expect something cooler out of one of the circles of hell, like fire being everywhere...like blood pouring out of the walls like the walls had life like a beating heart.

Sam tried to stretch out. It was foolish to think he was capable of doing it. He tried to close his eyes and focus his mind on Castiel. Maybe that would help in locating him. But he had trouble concentrating. The wind seemed to pick up around him as though sensing what he was trying to do and mocking him for it. He couldn't concentrate. And it wasn't just because of the sand storm. It was something else. Like somebody had taken his thoughts and were swirling them around in a bowl with a spoon...scrambling them...fucking with him.

But Sam found he could yet linger on a few thoughts.

It seemed so strange that minutes ago, he was walking out of a diner with Castiel and being explained a lifetime's worth of knowledge. He didn't know why the girl demon grabbed him like she did and dragged him with her. He had never seen her before...right? Nothing about her rang familiarity in his mind, but yet his emotions were wild when she grabbed him, almost familiar, he supposed. Like she had done this before and by now, he should be used to it. That was absurd..

There was no sign of her anywhere around him either even though they had fell in together. As Sam closed in on the place where the noise had come from, he couldn't find anything there, just smooth sand and roaring wind around him that began to block out any other sound. He raised one foot, then the other. Yeah, definitely sinking. He was better off not sticking around in one place for long.

Well, that was nice.

Sam began to walk. Because it was all he could do. In the distance to the north, he thought he saw a structure...a very weird structure. Maybe a mountain? It was just the shape that was off. It had five protruding rock forms with one at the end being slightly shorter than the other four...like a...Sam raised his hand level to the structure.

Like a black hand.

But between this blink and the last, the hand disappeared. Sam stared at his own hand, turning it around and round...a hallucination? Well, a hallucination was better than nothing.

He began to walk in that direction.

Was it him, or did the wind only grow stronger? After a few minutes, there was not flat surface for him to walk in. Sam was almost knee-deep in sand, trying to make a few inches at a time of movement seem like he was actually getting somewhere fast.

His throat felt parched, the temperature skyrocketed. Beyond the sand...there was nothing beyond the sand. What was he doing? He wasn't going to get anywhere. It didn't matter how much he walked, that hallucination was just that, a hallucination. There was no hand in the sand...Haha, that rhymed in his hand.

Before he could laugh out loud to test that he actually still had a voice that wasn't dried up and shriveled, he heard something. Unmistakeable over the sound of the wind. Now he was pretty sure he didn't imagine that. Did people usually go crazy with their sight and hearing simultaneously? But it spoke again. A whisper. Unintelligible. Sounded like his name.

"Castiel?" Sam called, looking around quickly. Nothing there. He even turned his whole body like an idiot and lost his sense of direction. Which way was he going again? "Castiel, is that you?"

It whispered again. Sounded like his name. Sam turned this way and that...but this time, something was there. It was a mass of black building up on his right. He had to squint to actually look at it, but it was moving, fast, towards him. The longer he looked, the longer it became something he couldn't comprehend. Since when did smoke travel that fast? But it rolled down, encompassing everything it went through, it overcame the strong currents towards Sam with promise.

He didn't need to wait, he just turned and used his remaining energy to begin running in the opposite direction. He could hear them-it-whatever, behind him. The heat was ten times what the weather already was. And it was speaking...speaking in that terrible voice that Sam had heard before. Whispers that sounded like the haunted choir of a hundred children all at once, except they weren't singing in Latin...it was his name they were chanting, rolled in several other words that Sam could not make out or even begin to understand as English.

It was catching up-whatever it was. He felt something tickle his ankles and almost screamed out loud. It made him trip, and not into a flat surface. The thin layer of sand disappeared from underneath him and Sam fell, head-first into a hole. It was probably nine or ten feet deep and he could barely reach above him to get a clutch on the surface to pull himself out. But the darkness swept ahead of him, screeching in a terrible voice that made his ears hurt. Up close, they looked like bats. Thousands and thousands of bats. He covered his face with both hands, braced himself for the onslaught.

But it never came. They swirled around him, he could feel that. He could hear them too. Louder than ever in his ears. His heart pounded way past the normal rate and if he wasn't going to die by them, then surely he was going to have a heart attack any second now.

Shadows formed from what little Sam could see between his fingertips. Faceless monsters that were almost fully transparent, crawling on all fours towards him. There had to be ten of them at least, all huddled around the sand hole that Sam had fallen in. He could see right through them...but they had form, like men...or what once was men. Where there were eyes, there was tiny ghostly white eye sockets that gave off a faint glow. He saw no other distinguishable features. No mouths...no noses. And not even signs that there had ever been these features. Still on his back, Sam backed away on his elbows as they surrounded his hole. What was the plan? To bury him? But they didn't bury him, cover him with sand or even yank him out.

What they actually did was bizarre...They knelt. They knelt as if they were presented with royalty for the first time. Sam pulled himself to his feet and did a complete three-sixty in the hole. Not one shadow was standing. What was going on? Was it customary to show respect to people before killing them? Because he was pretty sure the idea was to kill him. They wouldn't have pursued with that sort of diligence.

It lasted for five minutes with Sam counting away in his head...the shadow forms stayed in their position, perfectly still, and he stared. He felt like if he moved, they'd move.

No noise...and then he heard a small thud and a small flame appear among them. A torch, maybe? They moved before he could even think it was safe to do so. They all screeched in that horrible language, at each other, or whatever caused the fire. Sam couldn't help it, he covered his ears and tried his best to blot out the sound. He closed his eyes again. Maybe now they were going to kill him. He braced himself for the second time for an attack.

But again, it never came. Instead he opened his eyes to find the circle cleared and only one figure standing above him. Slightly brown skin with a wild crop of black hair that looked wet or...heavily gelled. His brown eyes focused upon Sam with a strange look of hostility. Looking at the sharp angles of his face, the thick eyebrows that looked permanently etched in a frown, Sam couldn't help but feel he knew this man. He wore a loose, long-sleeved dark red shirt and black pants with a black scarf around his neck that was tucked under his chin. Desert wear maybe.

And maybe he was a hallucination. A real one...if that made any sense whatsoever. Sam stood up to get a closer look, not too afraid to move this time.

The stranger knelt down, and his frown deepened. They were almost eye level with Sam looking up into his face at a closer proximity.

"What the hell?" His tone was abrasive. Grating almost. "Is that you, Sam? How the fuck did you get here?"

"Uhh...," Sam murmured, raising an eyebrow. "Do I know you?"

"How do you forget a perfect piece of eye candy like this?" The stranger gestured a circle around his face. "It's Merrick."

The name sounded familiar but Sam was having trouble recalling. "Uh..All right?"

"How did you do that?" Merrick asked.

"Do what?"

"Tame them. Make them stop. They were coming after you. I saw them. You fell into one of their sand traps," Merrick indicated the hole. "How did you make the shadowcrawlers stop?"

"What? What's a shadowcrawler?" Sam scratched his head.

"What you just saw," said Merrick vaguely. "Soul collectors. This is their territory. Come on."

Merrick reached down, before Sam could stop him and took a hold of both of his elbows and yanked him out of the hole until he was standing upright...sinking into the sand again. His tennis shoes must have been heavy because Merrick wasn't sinking at all.

Merrick's grip loosened on him and he dropped his hands, backing up a step. A look of strange horror widened his eyes. Which must have been a feat because Merrick didn't look like the type to get surprised often.

"Holy shit, you're one of us," said Merrick in a harsh whisper. "You're a demon."

"Yeah," Sam replied, gauging his reaction. "So what? Listen, have you seen Castiel? I've been looking for him. He's a little shorter than me...Blue eyes. Black hair... He's my father."

"Castiel? He's your-" Merrick's eyes widened even more, and he reached forward, taking hold of Sam's shoulder tightly to the point of painful. "The angel? Did he do this to you? Did he change you?"

"Do you know him? Do you know where he is?" Sam asked desperately.

"No, I don't know where he is!" Merrick shouted, letting go of Sam and growling in frustration. He looked beyond pissed. "What the fuck. He turned you? How the fuck did he...God...He must...He must've fallen. That's the only way...and he made you. You. And he's here...Somewhere. That's...Fuck...That's fucked up. That's really fucked up."

"How?" Sam was offended. Castiel was the only person that mattered to Sam. To hear him be thrown around so rudely in phrase was off-putting. "He made me. He saved me. I want to see him. Can we go find him?"

"No, we can't fucking find him, Sam. Jesus Christ," said Merrick irritably. "We have to get out of here before more shadowcrawler find us. They spared you for reasons beyond me...But I have to get you out of here. Pronto."

"Are we going to find Castiel?" Sam perked up.

"No. I don't know where Castiel is. Listen, Sam...," Merrick blew out a harsh breath and seemed to be summoning patience. "Listen to me. I know you don't remember a lot right now and it's a bit hazy. But it's gonna come back to you, all right? Everything's going to come back to you. I just need you to trust me...and follow me. I have someone you want to see."

"Is it C-"

"NO," Merrick growled. "Just follow me, all right? I'm going to keep you safe."

Sam was skeptical, but he weighed in his current situation, blinked at Merrick while sand blew all around them and blotted out the sight of anything but Merrick. He had to admit to himself that despite wanting to find Castiel, he was really thirsty...and hungry. If this Merrick knew a safe place beyond the sand then he wasn't going to argue with him.

"Okay, I'll go with you," Sam decided.

"Good. Because I honestly wasn't going to be giving you much of a choice. These arms can carry more than you could imagine," said Merrick. He turned and began to walk to the north...or at least it seemed like the north. North of the hole he had fallen in. Merrick began to zig zag around something and again, Sam envied him his light shoes, because he moved with speed and certainty. As though he had memorized these sands long ago.

It was only a moment later that Sam realized why he was moving so deliberately. He knew where the sand traps were. He was evading them.

Sam was quick to follow in step.

When he got close, he heard Merrick muttering to himself. Several words sounded like Castiel, which made him curious.

"What are you saying?" Sam asked.

"I'm saying this situation blows, Sam. It really blows. I knew a portal opened up but I didn't think it'd be you and him...I didn't imagine it would be the angel and you...ever," said Merrick, running his hand through his hair. "Cas is here too, Jesus."

"Why are you angry about that?" He was genuinely curious. By the way Merrick was acting, they all knew each other. Why was it such a big deal if they were here? Wasn't it a general rule that friends should be pleased with seeing each other after a long time?

"You don't understand, Sam," Merrick replied miserably, spotting Sam's face and seeming to read his train of thought. "You can't be here. You don't belong here. This is the ninth circle, don't you get it? There is no escaping this realm. You'll be trapped here forever."

Well, that sounded ominous.

Not to mention far-fetched. That was impossible. There was a way in, there had to be a way out.

"He never wanted this for you, Sam," Merrick shook his head, casting his eyes downward. "Not once. I can't believe this has happened. Who else is here, do you know?"

"What do you mean?" Sam asked, puzzled.

"Who else? You and Cas and who? Was there any more besides you two?" Merrick stopped in front of Sam and he noticed for the first time that the air was considerably less thick.

There was less sand in the air and he could see the sky again...Strangely, it was a deep shade of red and he didn't have to look far to see why. The sun was still a normal bright yellow except it was rimmed with red. The longer Sam looked at it, the more it seemed to come alive, shifting in his vision. He could see that the black hand structure was closer now...not an illusion as he initially believed.

"Sam, pay attention," Merrick growled in a low voice. "Is there anyone else with you?"

"There was a girl...She was the one who grabbed me. She opened the portal," said Sam, remembering. "Brown hair...Uh...Green eyes? I didn't catch her name...and there was Castiel." He brightened at that name which made Merrick scowl. "And...I think it was an angel. They called him Bulbasaur."

"Balthazar," Merrick corrected through his teeth.

"Yeah, that one," said Sam.

"And one other guy...I don't really remember his name. I think it was Darwin," said Sam, shrugging. "I don't really care though."

"Darwin," Merrick repeated as though Sam was really slow. "Yeah, okay. Come on. We're almost there. We just have to pass over that hill there." He pointed to indicate at a very large sandy hill ahead of them that blocked the view of the other side. "and it's a few miles out. Come o-"

Merrick broke off when a sound like flapping wings resonated around them. Merrick whipped around, reaching for something on his belt that Sam had not noted before. He drew out a long sword the size of his leg. Sam's eyed widened when he saw it, but Merrick didn't give him time to examine it from afar for long. He grabbed a handful of Sam's sweatshirt and spun him around so that he staggered behind him.

"Show yourself, you cowards," said Merrick in a voice devoid of fear. Battle was something this demon was an expert in. That much was clear. If Sam could guess, he was probably much older than he actually looked. On the outside, maybe mid-twenties at most...but on the inside, hundreds of years, perhaps thousands. Millions of lives had fallen on that blade and the rust on the sword, the dried stains that could never be taken out were pretty much evidence of that.

But his taunt worked its magic. Sam had no way to sense them...maybe he was too inexperienced. But they came. Two figures emerged from the east, walking straight towards them. Distinguishable in the fact that they wore white suits, bright as angels...Sam was reminded of Bulbasaur or Balthazar, whatever and the light that he used in that dark room before they got here.

And then one strayed, walked away from his companion, seeming to disappear in the sandstorm. Try as he might, Sam was unable to track him. It was like he had vanished. Merrick wasn't blind to that either, except he wasn't looking where had gone, he was keeping his eyes on the one that was left.

"Merrick-" Sam began.

But he never got to warn him. He was shoved to the side, hitting the sand in a cloud of dust. When he turned around, he saw the one who had left. Up close, Sam got a better look at his appearance. He had fine, curly blonde hair with eyes that looked gold in the red sun and long eyelashes. His build was slim and muscular that made him look light on his feet, like Merrick. They were actually roughly the same size, and to Sam's surprise, there was a strange mirror in his eyes to Merrick's. Of course they looked opposite in appearance, but there was that experience in his stance of years and years of battle.

He drew out a long dagger and pressed it to Merrick's throat, hugging the demon to him. If not for the strained expression on Merrick's face, they might have looked like a couple. But Merrick seemed to be undergoing something to control his expression. He didn't look at all surprised that he was at someone else's mercy.

"Not the most comfortable position I've been in but I can work with it," said Merrick lightly. But he leaned his head back anyway, away from the blade. "I would say it's good to see you again, Asmodeus...but I was always a poor liar."

"Shhh," Asmodeus quieted him, reaching up to stroke Merrick's forehead. He spoke in a low voice...and Sam was sure he wouldn't have caught the words if he was anything less than what he was. "This is a big find for me...Big find. But it's not you I'm looking for. Where's the Prince, Guardian?"

"Am I correct in assuming that Abaddon and yourself are now coupling, Asmodeus?" Merrick smiled, though there was something repulsed in the expression. His eyes fell on the other figure.

It was a girl. Sam couldn't spot that before because her hair was tied up in a knot at the back of her head. And what hair it was, a bright red. She had full red lips that made her look like she had triple applied lipstick except it probably wasn't so. Red as fresh blood...she probably drank it for a living. Her skin was very white that he was reminded of the crawlers eyes he saw in his sand hole.

"Never been a fan of incest," Merrick commented.

"No, I imagine not, while you've been shacking up with the Prince all these years. You're going to make a fine trophy, Merrick. Sure enough to lure him out of his little hidey hole," Asmodeus sneered.

Merrick scoffed, eyes darting to Abaddon who regarded him coldly. "Is that what you all think he's been doing? Hiding from you? Hiding at all? You have a jaded perception of world history."

"You'll do just nicely as a substitute," Asmodeus hissed lovingly in his ear. He nodded off to Sam dismissively. "Check that one. Or kill it. I don't care."

Abaddon approached him and before he could stop her, she knelt beside him, grabbed him and exposed his arm. He didn't know what she was looking at. He saw nothing. But Asmodeus glared down at his bare skin with a look of pure venom.

"Unmarked. Leave him then," said Asmodeus. "He doesn't matter. Leave him for the shadows."

"Unmarked means he's a new arrival," Abaddon spoke for the first time and Sam was kind of shocked at how utterly cold her voice was. She had no emotion. Nothing. What would pass for concern crossed her features. "We have to take him with us." Her grip tightened on Sam to the point of pain, he could feel his circulation being cut off.

Asmodeus sighed. "Rules and regulations then. Load em' up."

Merrick struggled to move, but Asmodeus's blade pressed deeper, drawing blood from his throat. He ducked low, spun around and drew out his blade, standing toe to toe with Asmodeus.

Asmodeus's eyes glittered and he slowly met Merrick's sword with his own, the blade screeching as he the steel touched. "So eager to get yourself killed, Guardian? For him?"

Merrick smiled. "Please. I was born to die."

Abaddon wasn't having that. Perhaps they were a couple or perhaps she was specifically instructed not to leave her comrade behind and vice versa. Or she actually cared even though she looked like she didn't care for much. She lunged at Merrick and the two engaged him together, forgetting about Sam altogether.

It wasn't an even fight by far. Merrick was going to be overwhelmed. No much how much power he boasted or skillsets he possessed. Sam had to help him somehow. In some way...

Merrick seemed to have read his mind. "Sam. Go. Run! Now! Forget about me! I'll be fine! Find him!"

Sam didn't need to be told twice. If there was anything that he needed to do, it was get to Castiel. Castiel could fix all this. Keep him safe. He got to his feet in the least graceful way possible, almost tripping as he made a break for it, running into the sand without a look back.

He heard Asmodeus cackle behind him and their swords clanged. "Yes, run! Run, boy! Run as fast as you can! It'll be nightfall soon! The whole desert will be crawling with shadows! Then nothing will save you!"

But Sam was already running. He didn't know what made him catch the impulse to run. To leave someone behind. But he didn't know Merrick...did he? It didn't matter. He had to find Castiel.

Sam didn't have to look back to know what was happening. Merrick was putting up a fight. He had a feeling the demon didn't want to fall without having his dignity in tact. But the creatures that caught him must have been ten times his strength. He heard the flap of wings behind him, strangely familiar..

But he didn't turn. He didn't want to look back. He had to keep going.

Everything felt rough and jagged underneath Carmen. The more she stirred, the more she started to feel around her. The rock below was burning hot, and it would have singed had she not been...a demon. She opened her eyes, but a fat lot of good that did. It was still dark. She immediately closed them again. It wasn't even bright, but her eyes hurt.

She remembered falling, that much was clear. Somewhere a long the line, in a swirl of black, she lost hold of Sam and searched blindly for him in the darkness...and then she fell. In that fall, she also lost consciousness as well. She didn't remember where she landed. She didn't remember anything about her surroundings.

There were voices above her, kind of far away. Carmen took a risk in raising her head. Neck hurt too. Bad decision. As her eyes adjusted, she noted a faint light...and two dark figures talking about fifteen feet from where she lay on the rocks. This must have been a cave.

"...don't know why you're bothering anyway. Quite unnecessary."

Castiel.

"I didn't tag along for you. I came because Carmen went through the dimensional door. What choice did I have? Not everything is about you, Castiel. Despite what you may think of yourself,"

Balthazar.

"There she is, Balthazar. Unconscious. But alive. You've assessed her condition just nicely. Now what's the purpose? Is it to imprison me? I daresay you'll have a hard time doing so in a realm that's inescapable," said Castiel coldly.

"Imprison you?" Balthazar's voice was incredulous, she could imagine his eyebrow shooting up and an affronted look about his face. "You think that's what I would intend for you? Castiel, I did not come down to the human realm to arrest you. I came to get an explanation from you."

"That sounds an awful lot like a trial. Why should I explain myself to you, Balthazar? What harm have I done? You've had ten years of war on the frontline with beings much more threatening than me and you choose to confront me now?"

"What harm have you done?" Balthazar repeated. "You killed an innocent boy and turned him into a demon. Do you know the penalty for creating demons on human soil? It's death. And you...You have fallen far, my friend."

"I turned Sam because I had to. You and I both know that the life he was living was hardly a life at all. It was a facade," said Castiel dismissively.

"It was a life you built for him, Castiel. It was your life. You removed his memories...You think we don't know about that? And then you killed him. I warned you ten years ago not to fraternize with Dante. I told you he was not to be trusted...You didn't listen to me. Instead you went right to him when you realized I would not help you,"

There was a long pause. Castiel seemed to weigh his words. Then he spoke in a low voice that Carmen had to strain to catch. "It must pain you to take such responsibility for me, Balthazar."

"I'm not taking responsibility for your misdirection. I certainly didn't inspire such disloyalty and rebellion in you," Balthazar growled.

"And that is a matter of perception," Castiel answered.

"Castiel, I don't know what Dante did to you, but you have to understand something...Nothing constitutes the death of innocent life. Maybe Sam wasn't totally innocent. He had his involvement with us in the past. But that doesn't justify ending his life, stripping him away from his parents and environment so you could come here," said Balthazar. "For...whatever reason. But I can only assume it's for him. It's always been for him."

"You presume too much, Balthazar, you always have. Situations change," said Castiel coolly. " I'm not here for Dean personally. All I'm here to do is do what I've always intended. And I have absolutely no inclination to explain my intentions to you. There is a balance that must be restored. I don't expect you to understand this."

"Restore balance," Balthazar echoed him scathingly. "Please. Now you sound like Dante. He uses those words to manipulate. That's all Dante has ever done for as long as I've known him. Manipulate. Lie. He used what you cared for most and he twisted it around and around until it broke you, Castiel...I..." Balthazar paused, exhaling deeply. "I just wonder at one point did it happen...and if I had known. Maybe I could have stopped it."

"There you go again," said Castiel. "Taking responsibility for my actions. You don't get the right to take credit for what I've done. You're not my mentor. You may have been my Commander long ago...but things have changed. If your orders are to execute me on sight, then by all means, Commander."

Carmen saw Castiel's shadowy silhouette take a step back from Balthazar and spread out his arms. "But killing me won't stop anything."

"For the last time, I'm not here to kill you," said Balthazar irritably.

"Just here to imprison," Castiel finished.

"What is going on?" Carmen said, having enough, and pulling herself up to her feet. The cave was so dark but both men turned to her at once. She couldn't spot Sam among them. She couldn't even sense him...Actually, she couldn't sense anything.

Balthazar's change in tone was very noticeable. He went from annoyed to gentle in five seconds. "You were out cold for an hour. We dragged you out here before...you were attacked."

"Attacked? By what? Where's Sam?" Carmen looked around for him better, hoping to catch a glimpse over their shoulders.

Castiel crossed his arms. "He's not here."

Carmen shot him a shrewd look. "Is that a fact? I had a good hold on him when I went through. How the hell did I end up with you two? What happened?"

"I imagine the descent into the deepest pit of Hell is never easy," Castiel told her. "You should be grateful. If not for Balthazar, what would be left of your body would be in the sand with those...creatures."

"What creatures?"

"We don't know. They swarmed in and attacked us...shadows. I was looking for you...and I found you in a large hole surrounded by them. They were about to feed on you," Balthazar shuddered at the memory. "But I managed to pull you out and bring you here. And that's where I met him." He indicated Castiel with a nod.

Carmen looked at Castiel. He certainly looked about as pleased as she was that he was among them. "But what about Sam? Didn't you find him?"

"There was no time to continue a thorough search," said Balthazar, running a hand through his hair. "The storm was too strong and those...shadows chased us all the way to this cave. There's no way we can go back out there."

"Don't be a coward, Balthazar," said Castiel.

"Don't call me a coward," Balthazar snapped. " If you're so courageous, why don't you tiptoe out of the cave and see how far you get?"

"After you," Castiel did a sweeping motion, bowing his head mockingly and gesturing towards the mouth of the cave.

"Why am I the only one that gives a damn?" Carmen growled, losing her patience. She stepped towards Castiel, inches away. Her blood pulsed with pure rage and hatred. She didn't care what Balthazar had said when she overheard him. That he was being manipulated by Dante. So what? This was all his fault. "You're the one who sired him. You're the one who made all this happen. You better hope when I find Sam, nothing's happened to him. You better hope that I find him in the next five minutes or else I'm going to-"

"Next five minutes? My, you better get on it," said Castiel, raising his hand level to her and curling his fingers as though gripping her throat. Carmen's windpipe closed in on itself and her hands went to her neck where she struggled against his hold. But no magic came to her aid. She desperately tried to call upon the fire that she had used to get them in this mess in the first place, but even that felt like a flicker she could no longer reach.

"Castiel! Stop!" Balthazar shouted, grabbing Castiel's arm. "Stop! NOW!"

Castiel ignored him, his eyes intent on Carmen. She was lifted off the ground, legs dangling just slightly, still grasping her throat. Yet, Castiel's eyes were lit with cruel malice. "You're so foolish, little girl. So deluded into thinking you know everything there is to know about this world when you know nothing. You're still that sniveling child that Raphael used to torture for sport. Maybe some insight into the order of power should enlighten you. I'm a fallen. Sam is my demon, bred from my bloodline. He is a purebred. Even he outranks you. A demon created demon is the lowest scum and you fall just between those lines. So before you make assumptions that I don't care where my demon is...Understand this. My bond with him transcends anything you think you may have. Just because you've been cut off with your maker for ten years doesn't mean you can undermine everyone else."

Even through the pain, through the threatening feeling that her air supply was on a short run, she couldn't help but look at him. Really look at him. It was hard considering she barely knew him at the time, to remember him as he was. She caught flickers of the past. But it was never Castiel she had developed a relationship...

Hell, she could barely consider what she had with Dean anything. And yet looking at Castiel, she felt something strange for him. Walls. Walls. There was so many walls around his emotions. He had built them to protect himself from something. But why? To save himself getting hurt? She refused to believe that he simply no longer cared. She thought caring was the worst thing he could do for what he was planning, it hindered him.

No, Castiel must have suppressed his ability to feel anything. Was it Dean? Was it the loss of Dean?

"Drop her," The voice was sharp and broke Carmen out of her reverie. Castiel did as he was told, and a light shined down on Carmen as she hit the ground painfully on her knees, bruising both at once.

Several figures were on approach and Castiel backed away from her, along with Balthazar along the wall. Castiel held up his hands and so did Balthazar but there was something mocking about the gesture.

"Quite an entourage you have here," The first man who ordered Castiel said. He sounded older...probably of all of them, he actually might have been the right age for whatever human age he actually was. He approached them, shining a flashlight through all their faces. Equipped to deal with that, neither of them squinted. "A Fallen. A demon...and..." He shined his light on Balthazar. "I don't know what you are."

"Never seen an angel before?" Balthazar asked.

"I've seen many things," Another one of them spoke up. Slightly southern accent. Male...sounded young. Late teens, maybe. "But an angel. Nope. There's no such thing. Just these ones that are fallen from the flock."

"So a demon, an 'angel' and a fallen. Still interesting. Though I take it you all know eachother. That's even more interesting. I've never seen a fallen and demon talk unless they got a blade at each other's throat. But from what I gathered, you weren't far from doing that either."

"Is there a particular reason you're interrupting us...human?" Castiel asked, tilting his head as though he was completely sure he was right in saying that title. "WE have business to attend to...and we really don't have time to talk to you."

"You're trespassing," said the first male. He stepped forward and was close enough so that the light shed on his face and Carmen almost jumped back in shock.

It was Dean.

Somehow his face and arms had smoothed of all the scarring and blemishes, but other than that, he looked just as she remembered, more real than any dream or memory could ever hold. Still the slightly tan skin, sweaty now from the desert heat outside. Still the bright green eyes, though narrow and mistrustful at the moment. It was strange to see him in the apparel he was wearing, a green, black and white military camouflage pants and a forest green t-shirt. Looking past the flashlights, she saw his comrades wearing the same clothes. Military?

"Dean," said Carmen warmly. And it didn't matter that he wasn't acknowledging her, that this was probably all some sort of game, because it had to be. She could see her shock mirror on Castiel's face and for the first time, the walls that he had spent so long to build, broke. Carmen stepped forward towards him.

Castiel's hand came down sharp on her shoulder. She looked his way again and saw the mask slowly crawl back into place. "That's not him. He's human."

"What?" Carmen asked in a way that clearly suggested Castiel's was out of his mind. Dean looked at them with confusion but his eyes flashed down to Carmen's arm as though expecting to find something and finding nothing. He looked back at the two of them. Castiel pulled Carmen back with surprising force.

"John Winchester. The years have certainly not been in your favor, have they?" Castiel asked. He continued to steer Carmen behind him until both Balthazar and Carmen were almost out of sight. Protectively...if she wasn't wrong.

Dean or...John...glared at him. She saw his hand kind of hover over a gun at his belt. But he didn't draw it out. Instead he waved off his companions to lower their weapons. She didn't even see them draw out weapons. He turned to them, and his face was grave. Upon closer inspection, she realized at first glance, sure he looked like Dean, but there was no famous scar on his cheek, no arrogant aura about him. He would never look this serious about anything...Not usually, anyway. "Follow me. I feel like there's a lot we can talk about. I'll take you to our base."

The walk through the desert was probably not one of Sam's best experiences..and the run that followed after leaving Merrick was even worse. He had collapsed not long after, not because he was thirsty or starving...sheer exhaustion. The mountainous region he was looking for had vanished again...and hours later, he was pretty sure he was never going to find it.

Night had fallen and he let himself fall, lying in the sand, waiting for the inevitable. Hopefully it would all be quick. Very vaguely, he remembered what that fallen or whatever had said...that once night fell, they would be crawling all over the place. So maybe he was going to die, then. That sucked. He felt like he barely lived at all.

Oh well.

His last sensation was that someone was pulling his arms and all he wanted to do was snap his teeth at them. Leave him alone...he just wanted to wallow before the inevitable card of death was thrown.

He woke with a start, his head pounding. Where he expected himself to be buried six feet under in the sand, he wasn't at all. He was on a bed, flat on his back. Someone had removed his shirt. Maybe he had received some bruises because there was several bandages on his chest and arms. His head was pounding and he tried his best to ignore it but that proved impossible.

Sam took a look about the room, rubbing his temples with both hands. Black rock walls and poorly placed banisters with black symbols he did not recognize. It was too dark in here. Yet there was at least a very dim light structure along the wall behind his bed, right above his head. Who built that? Wasn't this place primitive?

A cave? When did he venture into a cave? Was this heaven? Because heaven sucked.

Someone entered through the rock wall on the side, seeming to slide it open just a little. A woman with black hair and a long black dress. She was beautiful, and she had taken measures to accent that, because she damn well knew it. When she looked at Sam, her lips stretched into a smile.

But he wasn't having it. Impulse took over before he could use his mind to correct himself. He bounded off the bed in a single step, caught her throat in his hand and raised her high. She grabbed his wrist with both hands in a small grasp, barely anything to his.

"Who are you? Where am I?"

"Careful, Sam," The woman replied calmly as he lifted her higher. She didn't even make that choking sound like the did in movies. "That was a very complex memory spell we had to weave through. I know things are a little disorientating right now...but I just wanted to see how you're doing."

"Who are you?" Sam repeated, shaking her just a little.

"My name is Lilith. I'm here to keep you safe. You don't remember me but we met ten years ago. I was at Rose Manor...Actually I own Rose Manor," Lilith corrected. "Do you remember?"

Sam frowned as he looked up at her, his eyes narrowed. Yet it seemed like the truth.

"My head's been fucked with for too long," said Sam.

"I know," said Lilith. "But maybe I can't convince you. Maybe he can."

"Who?"

Lilith turned her head and gestured to someone standing in the doorway. He didn't hear him, didn't even sense his presence because something of a block prevented that. But there he was. Not a dream. Not a memory. Nothing more or less than what he was. Sam's eyes traveled from the ground up, slow, taking in everything. The big black boots, the loose fitted black jeans and the tank top. Dean leaned his whole body against the wall, his eyes on Sam in an amused sort of way, green eyes that blazed with a fire that burned through every cell in his body.

"Hey Sammy,"

"Dean. Oh God," Sam released Lilith and closed the distance between them in one stride, wrapping his arms around Dean until his elbows touched. Heat. He could feel that familiar heat. And it had never felt better, even for someone who had that same fire in their blood. He squeezed, afraid, despite himself that he would vanish. "I knew you were out there. I knew I'd see you again. I always believed."

Because it didn't matter that he had died. It didn't matter that Sam had lost his life. It was worth it if he got to see him again. The last ten years meant nothing to him in that moment. He was here. That was all that mattered. He was alive...or what counted as alive in this place. His memory was hazy, but he could never forgive himself for forgetting Dean.

All Sam could think of was a pleading mantra in his head, begging his subconscious, if it was being cruel. Please don't vanish. Please don't disappear. Please don't leave me again.

Dean hugged him back, his warm palm rubbing a soothing line on his back where he knew Castiel's mark had been. His eyes closed and after a long moment, Dean pulled away so they embraced and Sam noted for the first time that he was about a head or two taller than Dean. Either that or Dean had gotten shorter.

Dean didn't fail to notice that either. "Jesus, you're a giant."

"Or you got short," said Sam, laughing.

"No, that's not very likely," Dean smiled.

"I...," Sam looked at Dean and shook his head. "I swear I feel like you're going to vanish..I..I don't even know what to say. There's...so much to tell you. I...I mean...It's not all good news but..."

"How about we start from the beginning?" said Dean, pulling away from Sam and keeping one hand light on his shoulder as he led him back to the bed, gesturing for him to take a seat. "You talk. I'll listen. Tell me everything."