Here it is! Mactar Jr., part 2! In this part, Shulk and Mac duke it out in a duel of epic proportions!

Well, kind of. I tried my best to write an action scene.

The lights were nearly blinding. The incessant cheering was ridiculously loud. Shulk gritted his teeth together and tried to focus, but to no avail. The noise kept scattering his thoughts.

On the other hand (and the other side of the ring), Little Mac was unfazed by his surroundings. He waved at the crowd and punched his fists together. The crowd cheered even louder, which made Shulk's concentration even worse.

Stupid Mac and Cheese and his advantages, he thought.

"Today we're here to see a Smash!" the announcer shouted into his mic. "But this isn't just any normal Smash. This is a challenge, from one fighter to another!"

The crowd ooh-ed and aah-ed.

"First, our challenger, from the game Xenoblade Chronicles! The guy that no one probably heard of until he was announced as a fighter in Super Smash Bros.! Pretty much all everyone knows about him is that he's really feeling it! Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you... SHULK!"

Shulk brandished his Monado and the crowd went wild.

"And the one accepting the challenge, from the Punch-Out! series! You all remember him as that one assist trophy back in Brawl. He's the boxer from the Bronx! He may be small, but tell that to his face and he'll punch you out!" The announcer chuckled. "Haha, I'm funny, aren't I?"

The crowd made their hate for puns known by throwing tomatoes at the announcer. He chuckled again, more weakly this time.

"Haha, okay, fine. Anyway, the winner of multiple championships! Spammer of the side-B! Ladies and gentlemen... LITTLE MAC!"

Little Mac threw a few practice jabs and the crowd screamed some more.

"It's the Visionary versus the Boxer from the Bronx! READY... GO!"

Shulk and Little Mac charged toward each other, and sword clashed with ridiculously sturdy boxing gloves. Mac used his side-B as much as humanly possible. Shulk kept getting distracted by all the noise and forgot to defend himself, letting Mac beat him up a lot.

"I dunno why you're tryin' to fight me, bruh," Little Mac said, "but you're doin' a pretty bad job at it!" And then he used the side-B again. Shulk's damage went up to 84%.

"Shut up!" Shulk yelled back.

He heard someone in the crowd shout, "LOLI BIG BOOBS!"

What?! he thought.

...And then he got side-B'd again. 91%.

"Bruh!" Side-B'd again. 105%. Shulk was launched off the stage, but he grabbed onto the ledge and recovered.

Mac charged toward him again.

"NO!" Shulk finally remembered he had a shield and used it.

"Bruh, stop that. I can't hit you while you're shielding!"

"Well, duh."

Mac waited for Shulk's shield to shrink to half-size. He did a fully-charged smash attack on the shield and broke it.

Shulk flew into the air, then flopped back down on the ground. When he got back up, he suddenly felt very dizzy.

"Uhhhghhh..." he mumbled. Birds flew in circles around his head while he held it.

Mac threw a weak jab to snap Shulk out of it. He shook his head and looked at the ledge- oh! The ledge!

Shulk dashed over to the ledge and stopped there. Mac chased him down and did his signature side-B.

Shulk dodged it, and Little Mac hurtled over the ledge to his doom.

"BOOM! Little Mac just got KO'd!" proclaimed the announcer. "That's one point for Shulk and one stock left for Mac! Will the boxer from the Bronx be able to turn the tides?!"

"LIT-TLE MAC! GET 'IM BACK! LITTLE MAC! GET 'IM BACK!" the crowd shouted.

Little Mac came back on a platform that floated above the stage. "I'll get you back for that!" he said.

"Oh, yeah?! Let me see you try!" Shulk retorted.

As he dropped down from the platform, Little Mac's skin peeled away to reveal a green wireframe. The crowd ooh-ed and aah-ed.

"Bruh," said this strange wire frame man, and his voice was so powerful it shook the walls of the boxing ring and made random people in the audience start yodeling.

"Whoa, whoa, what's this?" the announcer shouted. "It seems like Little Mac's revealed his true form! This is..."

"Mactar Jr.," Shulk breathed in awe.

"Bruh," said Mactar Jr. again, which meant "THIS ISN'T EVEN MY FINAL FORM!" He charged at Shulk, who dodged.

But that was all part of Mactar's plan! He used a smash attack on Shulk right after he finished the dodge. Shulk flew off the stage and was KO'd.

"Oh man!" exclaimed the announcer. "It's one to one for Shulk and Mactar! One of them has to take the other's last remaining stock, but who? WHO WILL WIN?!"

I'm going to win, but- focus! thought Shulk, dropping off the floating platform. He ran over to the ledge again and waited.

"Bruh," said Mactar, which meant "You can't fool me this time!" And he just stood there, in the center of the stage, waiting for Shulk to make a move.

Shulk cycled repeatedly through his Monado Arts, but he didn't move from his spot.

Ten seconds passed. Shulk was still cycling through his Arts. The crowd got a little quieter.

Hesistantly, the announcer said, "Uh, the tension! I can feel it cutting like a knife through butter! Ouch?"

A few more seconds went by. The audience quieted down some more. Shulk and Mactar still weren't moving.

"Anyone want some Xenoblade-related puns?"

The announcer was met with absolute silence.

"...No? O-okay. That's okay. It's all good."

Shulk closed his eyes and took a deep breath, in and out. At least his stupid roommate had shown him something useful.

Focus, Shulk. Forget about the crowd. Forget about the announcer. It's just you and Mac and Cheese. Focus...

When he opened his eyes, his surroundings had been blacked out. The crowd was just background noise to him now. There was just him, Mactar, and the stage. Shulk had finally gotten the concentration he needed!

He stopped on the Art he wanted- "SMASH!"- and then he dashed at Mactar, grabbed him, and threw him backwards. Mactar rolled back toward the ledge to get on his feet again.

"BACK SLASH!"

Shulk hit Mactar in the back, making him fly off the ledge. But Mactar managed to jump back onto the stage! He pushed Shulk back to the center of the ring with a barrage of jabs. Once he had gotten Shulk right where he wanted, Mactar spammed his side-B again. Shulk shielded against each punch.

Mactar charged another smash attack, but Shulk saw it coming. He countered Mactar's smash, making him fly off the stage again.

"And stay off!" said Shulk.

Mactar grabbed the ledge and climbed back onto the stage again.

"Bruh," he said, which meant "You can't tell me what to do."

"Screw you."

Shulk's Smash Art fizzled out. He switched to the Shield Art.

Mactar punched Shulk while he was open. Ding-ding! Mactar's KO punch was ready to go. He tried to go in for the kill.

Shulk jumped around and dodged like a maniac in the hopes that he wouldn't get hit.

"Bruh," said Mactar, which meant "Bruh, stop doing that! I can't hit you when you're doing that!"

Shulk just kept dodging. Mactar ran at him one more time and- "BRUH!"

WHOOSH! Mactar threw out his KO punch.

Everything went slow-mo for a split second and everyone held their breath. Had Mactar landed a critical hit?

...No, he missed Shulk's face by literally a hair's width!

The crowd decided to start making a racket again. "SHULK, SHULK, SHULK!" they cheered. Shulk didn't pay them any attention.

He re-activated his Smash Art and then grabbed Mactar, pummeled him, and threw him backwards again.

Mactar was launched too far away for him to recover this time. He tried to jump back, but fell just short of the ledge. For extra disrespect, Shulk jumped off the ledge and used his down aerial on Mactar. It sent the wire frame boxer plummeting down into oblivion.

"GAME!" shouted the announcer. "And the winner is... SHULK!"

Shulk used Air Slash combined with his Jump Art to get back on stage. "I'm really feeling it!" he taunted as he pulled himself up. The crowd went wild, but he still didn't hear them.

A pulsing orb of light floated down in front of Shulk. He picked it up.

You got Little Mac's memes! said the same mysterious voice as last time. Now you, too, can spam side-B like it's going to get nerfed!

"That's useless."

You also can use the Bara Bros language, which consists entirely of "bruh!" Convey immense amounts of emotion and meaning through this single slang word!

"Uh, okay, I guess. Cool?"

But wait, there's more! The bonds you have with your friends have strengthened! Friendship went up by 5.

"Noice!"

Shulk returned to the mansion and had a good time with Captain Falcon and Ness at dinner. In fact, he had so much fun trolling people with his friends that he totally forgot about what happened that morning with Wyatt.

A few people noticed Little Mac wasn't being so manly anymore, but they brushed it off. They figured that Shulk's victory had just bruised his man-pride and he would go back to normal eventually.

Shulk never did ask Samus out. Zelda wondered why.

Glowing orb of light - 5000 gold coins.

"I'm not actually sure what it is, but it might be very valuable. Also, the light doesn't seem to be going out anytime soon. It could be used as a very efficient light bulb, which will save you some money in the long run." -Sheik

Condition: New.

Brand: Sheik's junk.

Model: Possibly something useful.

Add to cart?

Ridley stared longingly at the product on the oversized screen. A single, salty tear rolled down his eye as he remembered Sakurai's words from the last chapter.

"You're still too big for me."

Well, if he was still too big when he was small, then it wouldn't matter if he went back to his original size, right? No, it wouldn't. He clicked the "YES" button.

Maybe he should move to Texas, he thought, because bigger is better in Texas.

"Glowing orb of light" added to cart.

Cart:

Glowing orb of light - 5000

Bundle of 20 Rare Pepes FOR SALe!1 - 500

Huggly-Fugly Sakurai Hug Pillow - 66

Total: 5566 gold coins.

Purchase these items?

Ridley clicked "YES" again.

3 items purchased! Your shipments will arrive within 4.20 - 42 seconds.

"SKREE," Ridley whispered.

One day, Shulk will actually get a useful meme.

If you get the "Loli Big Boobs" shout-out, then you get a Rare Pepe, because cookies are for non-memelord scum. (laughs)