It is taking progressively longer for me to write new chapters. My motivation is a slimy little weasel, and every time I manage to grab it it slips out of my fingers again. I just want to crap out a chapter; is that too much to ask for, motivation?! Ughghhghgh.

On a more positive note, over 1000 views! I am pleasantly surprised. :D

It was another normal day on the job. And by normal, I mean reeeeally slow. Barely anyone came to the local book store anymore, considering how e-books were all the rage. And the brand-spanking-new Books-a-Billion at the Grand Metropolis Mall wasn't helping matters either.

Reflet leaned onto the counter and stared off into space for the thirteenth time that day, and she had only been working for what? An hour and a half?

Now that she thought about it, she couldn't even call it "working." All she had done so far was stare into space... and she was just going to keep staring into space until someone decided they wanted to buy books from a tiny local bookstore...

Finally, after what seemed like an eternity (probably only fifteen minutes), a customer finally walked into the bookstore. Reflet snapped out of her boredom-induced trance and straightened up.

"Welcome to The Book Worm!" she called. Then, she recognized the person who walked in. "Oh hi, Ganondorf."

Ganondorf didn't respond and instead started walking faster.

"Um... hello there?"

Still no response. Reflet peeked around her cash register to see what the King of Evil was doing in the bookstore. She caught a glimpse of him making a concerned face, before he disappeared behind a corner and into the Teen Fiction section.

"Uhh, can I help you find anything?"

Still not a word out of him. Fine, thought Reflet, two can play at the ignoring game. She slouched on the counter again and stared straight ahead.

Ganondorf continued to wander around in the teen section, making noise as he pulled books off their shelves.

...Okay, nevermind, she couldn't play the ignoring game. She peeked around the cash register again, waiting for Ganondorf to come back around the corner.

He returned with a single book in hand, grumbling to himself and makimg the same concerned face as before. Reflet turned her gaze so he wouldn't think she had been watching him.

"Did you find everything you needed?" she asked. But when Ganondorf slid the book onto the counter, he made no eye contact and still didn't reply.

She picked up the book and took a good look, it's in a book, Reeeeeading Rainboooow! Strangely enough, the book opened up from the left side. And the title...

"Uhh... Toradora the Explorer?" she wondered out loud.

The Gerudo man looked down at the ground and started to fidget. "...Hurry up already."

"I didn't know you were into manga..."

"I'm not. It's for the Demon Ham Ghiraham."

"Ah, I see." She scanned the manga book, then bagged it and said, "That would be 1089 gold coins."

Ganondorf took out a coin purse shaped like a cute little Cucco and handed over the money. Reflet began to think that he was lying, and the manga actually wasn't a present for Ghiraham. So she asked him a question to test her hunch.

"But I thought the assist trophies didn't really care about comics."

She was met with more silence from Ganondorf.

"I thought there was only one person in the Smash Mansion who was into manga?"

Silence again. And then, finally...

"Do not tell anyone about my interests, or I will... I'll..."

"You'll what?"

Ganondorf leaned over the counter and abruptly grabbed Reflet by her weird collar thing, glaring the darkest, most threatening of glares. "Do not tell anyone about this or I will WARLOCK PUNCH YOUR FACE INTO OBLIVION!"

"Okay okay your secret's safe with me don't worry!" cried Reflet, waving her hands around. After seeing the guy break down crying over his spilled ice cream, she had come off with the impression that the King of Evil... maybe wasn't so evil. But that nightmarish glare made her think otherwise. Maybe that was an out-of-character day for him. Maybe he had a cold. "Please no warlock punching I swear I won't tell a single soul!"

The Gerudo seemed satisfied with her answer and put the tactician down. He then turned around and walked out of the store, leaving her to stare after him, shocked. For a while, she was so shocked she didn't notice another guy walk into the store.

It was none other than the person you actually wanted to show up, Shulk the up-and-coming Supreme Meme Overlord! He walked over to the graphic novels section, wasted no time in picking out a book, and came back to the counter. Reflet finally noticed Shulk and grinned at him.

"I see you got back from being banned. What are you getting today?"

Shulk leaned on the counter and tossed a copy of Captain Canada in front of Reflet.

"Ahh, Captain Canada. Good choice!" She was about to begin rambling about the comic hero's backstory and how he had been genetically engineered with special banana DNA, when Shulk cut her off with a question.

"Where's Robin?" he asked.

She scanned the comic book and replied, "Dude, if you're here to make fun of my bro for that one night, I'm not gonna let you. Even if he is stupid beyond compare, he's still my brother."

"No, I thought that stunt was actually pretty cool." Shulk looked thoughtfully at the ceiling for a moment, then back at Reflet. "Him getting stuck in the ceiling was kinda funny-" Reflet glared at him- "but still, that whole roflcopter thing was pretty cool. Anyway, where is he? I want to talk to him."

Still glaring, Reflet leaned onto the counter herself. "Why," she pressed.

"I, uh... well..." She's probably not going to take "I want his memes" for an answer, is she? "I want to, uh, ask him something."

She raised an eyebrow. "Like what."

"Well, I..." Shulk laughed nervously. If he didn't think of a good cover-up and fast, then he'd have to wait even longer to challenge Robin to a d-d-duel! The plot would slow to a standstill, and maybe even stray from the author's original vision! But I, the great and powerful author (haha no), had other ideas.

Suddenly, the camera zoomed into Shulk's eye That's So Raven-style, but instead of him seeing into the future, he was looking into the past.

Flashback, here to save the day! Remember that party about a week ago? Remember what Ness said?

"Okay, so out of the fifty-three people in the mansion, you like the guy who thinks he's a bird?"

"I, uh, well..." Shulk began, looking at the ground, "I've liked your brother for a while..."

Upon hearing the word "like," Reflet's inner shipping lord activated. She got an evil grin on her face and said, "Ohhh, I see," rubbing her hands together.

"Um, are you okay?"

"Oh, I'm doing juuuust fine."

"That's always nice. I guess."

"Hmm... A candlelit date at fancy restaurant, or an outing in the park, holding hands, ending with a tender kiss as the sun sets..." Reflet clasped her hands together and let out a high-pitched squeeeee! Then she realized that Shulk was still there, staring at her like she was crazy. (Let's be honest here though, she was a bit love-crazy.) "Uh- I mean- which do you think is more romantic?"

"...Are you sure you're okay?"

"Yup, perfectly fine. Shipping really gets me going, that's all. Ahem. Cough cough, you saw nothing."

"Did you literally just say 'cough'?"

"Um, I totally forgot your comic book!" Reflet shoved the Shulk's comic book in his face. "That would be 855 gold coins."

Shulk took the bag, reached into his pocket, and handed over the money.

"Meet me in the cafeteria, after dinner. We can go find him then. Have a nice day!"

"Uh, you too." And he left the store and Reflet was left alone again.

It only took a few seconds for Reflet to stare off into space for the fourteenth time that day.

Reflet put a hand to her chin. "I don't think he's here, Shulk. We've already looked all over the mansion."

"He's not here?"

"Probably disappeared to that secret place of his."

"Secret place?"

"He always goes there to mope."

"So... could you tell me where it is?"

"No clue where it is, he never told me."

"What?"

"It's his 'secret place' for a reason, y'know," said Reflet. "Wouldn't be a secret if I knew where it was, would it? He knows I'd blab about it to Palutena, and then she would blab about it to Pit, and Pit would tell literally everyone... Huh. Maybe he's not as stupid as I thought."

Shulk felt rather disappointed. "I guess I'm on my own now."

"Yeah, sorry about that."

"No no no, it's okay. You did what you could. I can always wait another day..."

Suddenly, the camera zoomed into Shulk's eye again.

Shulk, standing atop one of the cafeteria tables. A crowd circled around, making a commotion over something.

"HYAHH"

A glimpse of a giant bag of seeds.

A boy with snow white hair dashed into the room, making a racket.

"TWEET TWEET"

An explosion destroying the table!

Master Hand floating into the room, absolutely enraged.

And the vision ended, just like that.

"...or not," finished Shulk. "Sorry no time for goodbyes gotta go!" he said to Reflet, using Monado Speed to get his pretty booty out of the cafeteria.

The female tactician just stood there staring at the spot where Shulk just was. She seemed to be doing a lot of staring today.

"...What just happened?"

"Shulk ran out of the cafeteria," deadpanned Ness, taking the role of Captain Obvious since he hadn't appeared yet this chapter. Reflet jumped a little, since he just walked up beside her and suddenly said that. "Probably gonna go get something," he added.

"But what?" asked Reflet.

"I dunno," replied Ness as he shrugged. "He does it a lot, though. Just runs away and comes back. You'd think he'd get along with the Wii Fit Trainers."

Only a few seconds later, the Monado boy came running back into the cafeteria carrying a giant bag of bird seed. And also I forgot to mention it in his vision but now he was wearing nothing but his swimming trunks/underwear.

(Yes, he left his clothes somewhere between the convenience store and Smash Mansion. Because as he was running back to the mansion, he randomly decided, hey why don't I go shirtless? And you know what, while I'm at that, I'll go pants-less too! What a great idea! So he left his clothes. And with his clothes he left any sense of sanity and common sense this fanfic had. Stupid shenanigans all the way!)

Shulk got up onto the Bara Bros' cafeteria table and did the whip and nae nae. The Bara Bros were suitably annoyed, and they started to throw some of their food at him (except for Captain Falcon, who just sat back and enjoyed the show. Maybe he was enjoying it a little too much). But Shulk just dodged their food and kept on whipping and nae nae-ing. You go Shulk, not letting the haters get you down.

Fascinated by this not-so-unusual turn of events, a crowd of Smashers began to form around the table. Some of them cheered Shulk on. Others chanted "Fight! Fight! Fight!" Yet others (Ness and Captain Falcon) whipped out their phones and recorded the crap out of the stupid scene. Surely Shulk wouldn't mind if they posted the video on YouTube and exposed his glorious glutes to the world.

"What the heck are you doing, bruh?!" shouted Little Mac angrily, throwing a tomato at Monado boy. "Are you out of your mind?!"

Shulk held up his bag of bird seed and started twerking. "I have important business with Robin!" he replied. "ROBIN! I HAVE BROUGHT! THE FOOD OF YOUR PEOPLE!"

"Bruh! You don't have to get on top of our table to give Robin some food!"

"But I saw it in a vision!"

"I don't care! Just stop twerking on the table, bruh! This is public indecency!"

Shulk stomped on Little Mac's food in defiance.

"You're gonna get us all banned! Get off the table already!"

"YODELE-EE-HOO-HAH" yodeled Shulk. He most definitely hadn't seen this in his vision, but it felt right to do. Maybe he was going to change the future. And besides, there was no way he was getting off the table until Robin came into the cafeteria.

Link, fed up with the crazy hijinks, went "HYAHH" and tossed a bomb on the table to try and get Shulk off.

Cue everyone in the cafeteria freaking out.

The Bara Bros started screaming at Link, telling him to stop the bomb. Link started screaming in his native Hylian, freaking out over his own bomb because he couldn't stop it. Shulk stopped twerking, but he didn't get off the table. He also started screaming.

Marth got up and walked out of the cafeteria, examining his nails. "I didn't sign up for this," he muttered.

Meanwhile, Ness and Captain Falcon were still calmly recording on their phones. This video was so going viral.

Shulk kicked the bomb into the crowd. The crowd played hot potato with it for a few seconds, then it made its way back into the hands of Link. He chucked the bomb at Shulk, hitting him in the head and knocking him down.

He tried to get back up, but he felt a bit wonky in the head. Concussions do that to you. So all he could do was watch the bomb as its fuse got shorter and shorter...

"TWEET TWEET"

Suddenly, the bird man/tactician Shulk wanted to see dashed into the cafeteria. "i smelled suNFLOWER SEEDS?!1?!" shouted Robin, looking around wildly. He realized the source of the smell was coming from the Bara Bros.' table and ran over. Then, he saw just what was going on.

"OH MY NAGA WHY IS THERE A BOMB"

Link put his hands up and replied, "I didn't mean to!"

Robin glanced at Link, then at the bomb, then at the near-unconscious Shulk on the table, then back to the bomb. Incompetent tactician he might be, but he wasn't just going to stand by and watch a helpless, shirtless dude get blown up.

He picked up the bomb, whose fuse had become dangerously short, sprinted out the cafeteria, and threw the bomb as hard as he could out the nearest window. It landed in the mansion garden and immediately blew up.

It definitely wasn't the most viable tactic, and the destruction of half the flowers made him worry about getting banned again, but it was a small sacrifice to make to save a fellow Smasher in need. He returned to the cafeteria, where he was met with a small bit of applause.

"So, I smelled sunflower seeds?" he said again, like a normal person this time.

"Y-yeah…" came a shaky voice from behind him.

"Oh! Shulk!" Robin ran back over to Shulk, who was still holding his bag of bird seed. "Are you okay?"

"Don't worry about me… I'm just… a little dizzy…"

Robin held up two fingers and asked, "How many fingers am I holding up?"

"Um… er… three, maybe…? No, twenty-six…?" Shulk scrunched up his face. "Uh… three hundred and… forty-seven. They keep multiplying…"

"Oh, gods. We need to get you to Dr. Mario."

He tried to lift Shulk up, but he couldn't do it with his scrawny anime arms. He was a tactician after all, not a bodybuilder. "Uh… someone help please."

Ironically, it was Ganondorf who decided to help out. He easily picked Shulk up and slung him over his shoulder. He tried to pry the bag of seed from his hands, but the Monado boy seemed determined to take the bag with him.

"Noooo…" said Shulk quietly.

Ganon sighed, walking out the cafeteria. "Fine, keep the stupid bag. Why not."

Whatever, it wasn't as if the bag was making him harder to carry. He took Shulk all the way down to the end of the hallway, around the corner, past the computer lab, and into Dr. Mario's office.

When he saw Ganon carrying Shulk, and Robin trailing worriedly behind them, the Doctor furrowed his brow. "What happened this time?" he asked.

"He got hit in the head," replied Ganon.

"Again? He really needs to be more careful."

"Again, huh."

"It happened once, a few days after the newcomers' party. Apparently this young man-" he gestured at Robin, who smiled nervously- "ran him over, along with Pit."

"Pit didn't see him," protested Robin. "And we apologized already! Don't hold it against us!"

Dr. Mario gave a wry smile and turned around. "Anyway, Ganon, set him down on the bed. I'll go get my pills."

Ganon did as he was told, dumping Shulk on the bed, then he left the room to go do his own thing. Now it was just Shulk and Robin, alone.

It wasn't exactly as romantic as Reflet imagined, but at least Shulk finally got the guy he wanted.

He moved his head in the direction of the bag of seeds in the corner of the room.

"…For you," he said softly.

Robin hesitantly walked over to the bag.

"For me?" he asked, just to be sure.

"Yeah."

He picked the bag up and sniffed it. Yep, it was bird seed all right. And they were sunflower seeds, too: his favorite.

"But… I gave you a concussion. Twice now." He looked down at the bag, then back at Shulk. "Why would you give this to me?"

Shulk smiled weakly.

"Soooo... I heard you like... to tip scales."

Okay, I lied. The real reason it takes forever for me to write chapters is because I'm lazy. There, I said it!

So to make up for it, I'm going to try to publish a new chapter at least twice a month if possible. No, I don't care if school starts this month. It wasn't like I was going to do my homework anyway. Or sleep for that matter. It doesn't even matter though, since I'm probably not going to get myself to do two chapters a month. Procrastination spreads from homework to eeeeverything. It's like a disease...

You know what? I'm just going to shut up now. You didn't read this whole chapter to slog through my incoherent ramblings. Have a nice day.