Yay whoo another chapter.

It was the day after the whole twerking-on-the table incident. Dr. Mario had miraculously cured Shulk of his concussion with his pill-matching thing, so he could finally challenge Robin to a d-d-duel. They had planned it out that morning: later that evening, they would meet in the field a few miles from the mansion, and then they would fight for each other's dank memes.

So there they were, later that evening. Robin and Shulk (still only in his underwear) stood in the middle of the golden field, filled with scales of all different shapes and sizes: weighing scales, justice scales, reptile scales, musical scales... the list went on and on. It was beautiful- both the sunset and the scales.

"Scales, scales everywhere," murmured Robin, his eyes turning into hearts because wow, did he love scales. He may or may not have a scale fetish, but that's okay, because apparently everyone in this version of the Smash universe is wildly out of character and/or just really screwed up.

Shulk put one arm around the tactician with a scale fetish, using his other arm to make a wide gesture at the field.

"Yes," he said, "and we're going to tip them. We're going to tip them all." He paused for dramatic effect and then added, "Winner gets the loser's dank memes. Can you dig it?"

Robin wiped the drool off his face and sensually replied, "Aw yuss. I definitely dig it."

Out of nowhere, the announcer walked onto the scene and shouted, "You have five minutes to tip as many scales as you can. Use any of the moves in your moveset. The one who tips the most scales takes the other's memes. Ready... GO!"

And so the scale-tipping contest began.

Shulk ran off in one direction, and Robin ran off in the other. Their strategies were essentially the same: spam one move and knock over as many scales as possible. For Shulk, that move was Back Slash. For Robin, that move was Thoron.

However, as anyone who's played as Robin knows, Thoron takes forever to charge. He could knock over lots of scales in one shot, but he needed to take, like, seven seconds in between each shot. He fired his magical kamehameha of death three times... then it broke.

Well, that strategy was off. He then moved to spamming Arcfire... then that tome broke.

Finally, he went with the best strategy: spamming Elwind. He knocked over scales aplenty that way... then after about 30 uses, that tome broke too.

Stupid Fire Emblem weapon mechanics.

Meanwhile, Shulk was spamming Back Slash like it was gonna get nerfed, tipping over scale after scale after scale. And his weapon was a legendary sword that most definitely wasn't going to break. It had been only a minute, and it already seemed like Shulk could tip over enough scales to beat Robin at his own scale-tipping game.

Perhaps it was time for the ULTIMATE TECHNIQUE...

"Time to tip the metaphorical scales!" he shouted, holding his Levin Sword high. He waited a few seconds...

...and nothing happened.

Shulk was suitably confused. "So does that actually do anything, or...?"

"Wait for it..."

"Uh..."

"Just... a little longer...!"

Just then, a silhouette appeared on the horizon, getting gradually larger as it got closer to Shulk and Robin.

"SHIPPING LORD HAS ARRIVED!" yelled Reflet, jumping over the horizon and sprinting to her brother at top speed. She knocked over the scale he was about to tip and added, "Hello friends I am here!"

There was a short pause as Reflet's words sank in. Then, Robin suddenly got surprised and offended at his sister's words. He clenched his trembling hands into fists.

"D-did you just call yourself... Shipping Lord?!" he said slowly and quietly.

Reflet flipped her hair (she could never be as fabulous as Marth, but she could always try). "Yeah, what of it?"

"I thought... I thought I was the Shipping Lord!"

"Yeah, right. If you're the Shipping Lord, then how come you haven't actually hooked anyone up yet?"

"I- You just haven't seen me hooking anyone up! I don't need to tell you every little thing about my shipping ventures!"

"Uh-huh. You're really bad at lying, did you know that?"

"I'm just waiting for the right moment! You know how it is..."

Robin continued ranting to his sister about knowing that, as self-proclaimed matchmakers, making the move at the perfect time was of crucial importance. Reflet kept telling him "I know, I know already!" and "Shut up!" and stuff like that, but Robin just rebuffed her with angry "TWEET TWEET"s and kept on ranting. You go Robin, not letting the haters get you down.

Shulk noticed that Robin and Reflet were so caught up in their arguing, they had totally forgotten to tip scales. He watched them for a bit, but eventually got bored of it. So he went back to running around, spamming Back Slash, and tipping even more scales.

"...which is why I obviously should be the Shipping Lord!" finished Robin.

Reflet put a hand on her hip. She opened her mouth, ready with a rant of her own, but-

"GAME! Time's up!" shouted the announcer. Robin and Reflet looked at him in surprise. Had they seriously just argued for three minutes straight? Yes, yes they had.

"And the winner is..."

"This is a good result!" taunted Shulk, doing a pose with the Monado.

"SHULK!"

Instead of clapping like they should have, Robin stood there in shock, and Reflet fell to her knees.

"I can't believe it," she mumbled. "Even though I tipped the scales, we still... lost?"

"I guess the scales were tipped the wrong way!" joked Shulk. Reflet scowled.

She reached into her coat and pulled out an orb of light, and tossed it at Shulk. "Here, take it. You win."

She then hooked her arm around her brother and dragged him off. "Come on, let's go."

Shulk watched them get farther and farther away from him for a bit, then asked, "Hey, voice. What do these memes do?"

O-oh yeah! the voice said. You got Robin and Reflet's memes! Now you can tip scales, both the physical and metaphorical kind!

"Okay but is it useful?"

Yes.

"Thank you! Finally, something I can use!"

But wait, there's more! You gained the title of Shipping Lord! Now, you can be a master matchmaker. Experience the joy of getting people to make out!

"Noice!"

BUT WAIT, THERE'S MORE! Support conversations in the style of Fire Emblem: Awakening have been implemented. Build bonds between you and your friends!

"That's cool, I guess."

It's way better than it sounds, I swear. I'll tell you more about it in a few chapters.

"I guess so."

After hearing what the voice had to say about his new memes, Shulk finally turned around and walked off into the sunset, with one last glance back at the tactician siblings. Robin looked up at Shulk just as he was looking back, and their eyes met.

He must have glanced up at just the right time.

The slight furrow in his blonde eyebrows. The sparkle in his deep blue eyes. The gleam of his muscles in the evening sun.

And dat ass.

Robin felt his fresh-out-of-puberty hormones start raging.

He was perfect.

"...ROBIN!"

"Huh? What?"

"Were you even listening to what I said?"

"Uh, yeah."

"You definitely weren't listening to what I said." Reflet cleared her throat, making sure that her brother knew she was irritated. "As I was saying... Shulk has our memes, so I guess it doesn't even matter now. Neither of us can be the Shipping Lord anymore."

"Shulk..."

"You're still not listening, are you..." Reflet gave Robin a good shake, making him snap out of his reverie. "Hey, what's gotten into you all of a sudden?"

"N-nothing. It's nothing," Robin replied, blushing.

"You sure?"

"Yeah, it's nothing. Nothing at all..."

The camera faded to black.

Ness, Captain Falcon, Toon Link and Villager crowded around the computer screen. Sure, it was past curfew, but this time they knew it would definitely be worth it.

"Bruh, it's been a few minutes now. You should refresh it," said Captain Falcon to Ness.

"Okay."

Ness did as he was told and refreshed the video. The number of views skyrocketed from 301+ to 301,974.

"Oh my god," said Villager.

"Someone has too much free time," snarked Ness.

"Read the comments," suggested the Captain.

Ness scrolled down to read the comments.

FIRST, read one.

That shirtless guy has brought a new meaning to watch me whip, read another.

ogmogmomg why is there a bOMB

That white haired dude making the bird noises. Bless him.

I SHIP IT!1!1! X3

much lel very kek

Well, that escalated quickly.

"Typical PooTube fare," said Ness.

"Hey, at least they're not arguing over something completely unrelated," said Toon Link.

Ness scrolled through the comments a bit more and found a comment with over 100 replies. Apparently the thread had started with a witty remark about Marth, and somehow turned into an argument over communism, cancer, and toilet bowls.

"You shouldn't have said that," said Villager.

"Yeah, I probably shouldn't have said that. Sorry."

Moral of the story: Never go into the YouTube comments section, kids.

Oh no, Robin has a crush on Shulk now. What have I done.

I guess you shouldn't look at Shirtless Shulk (TM) for too long, or else that happens.