MerchantAnna did a shout out to my fic hoooooOOLLLY

Shulk woke up in a white bed. Strange. He sat up and looked around.

This was not his beautiful room. This was not his beautiful wife.

For starters, his bedsheets were maroon, not this chalk white that hurt his eyes. (Looking around the room, he saw that the walls were the same sterile white too. Blegh.) Second, there were only two beds in his room, not ten. Third, his room was not this clean. He did pride himself on being at least slightly organized, but not to an OCD extent like he was seeing.

Also, he didn't have a wife. Maybe later.

Dr. Mario walked into the room and saw that Shulk was now sitting up in bed. "Ah, you're finally awake," he said.

Shulk stared at him with an empty look, then finally realized where he was. "...How long was I passed out?"

"Not too long, only about eight hours."

Wait for it...

"Eight-" Shulk tried to jump out of the bed, but the doctor held him down. "Hey! What are you doing?!"

"You still need to rest your body. Some of your muscles have been strained pretty badly."

"B-but!"

"It could have been worse, you know. Most main characters stay out for a day at the least."

Shulk tried to struggle against Dr. Mario's hold, but failed. He raised his leg up, getting ready to kick the doctor's hands away- then suddenly, his leg seized up. Excruciating waves of pain radiated through his legs. He gripped the sides of the bed, hoping it would help with the pain.

He remembered now. He had felt something "pop" in his legs earlier in the morning, but the rush of adrenaline- and the driving force of fear- had made him push that feeling to the side. Now, he felt the full brunt of the pain, and it hurt.

"Shulk, don't make this harder on yourself." said the doctor calmly, still holding Shulk down. "The more you resist, the longer you're going to be here."

That was enough to make him stop moving around. He relaxed his legs a little, but still kept a tight hold on the sides of the bed.

"Thank you. Now, I'm going to go get my pills. Just stay where you are, okay?"

Shulk nodded. The doctor glanced at him one last time, then turned around and went out of the room. There was a soft creaking as he opened the door, then a click as he closed it.

An awkward silence came over the room in the doctor's absence.

Shulk felt a strong urge to sneak out, but he didn't dare move just in case his legs started acting up again.

"...You, too?" he heard a familiar voice say.

"Huh?"

"You seem to end up here a lot."

Shulk sat up slowly so his legs wouldn't hurt as much. Sitting in the bed across from him was a blonde woman with a mask covering her mouth. He frowned, recognizing who it was.

"Oh, it's you."

"I don't intend on starting an argument here," Sheik said, shaking her head. "Only conversation."

"There's nothing to talk about," replied Shulk. "Conversation over."

"...The weather is nice."

"I don't want to talk."

"I understand if you don't want to talk," Sheik countered, "but we're the only two here. There are no games, no books, no phones. There's not much to do but talk."

"That doesn't mean I want to talk."

"But don't you want to take your mind off the pain?"

As much as he hated it, Shulk did have to agree with her.

"...How did you get here, anyway?" he finally asked.

"Er..." She pulled at her mask, as if it would help hide her embarrassment. "It's so silly, though..."

"Oh, come on. I thought you wanted to talk."

"I... got into a ninja fight with Greninja. I said something I shouldn't have." She paused, then quickly tried to change the subject. "Why are you here again?"

"What did you say to Greninja?"

"Um, I said we should nerf him again... Anyway! How did you get here?"

"Ridley destroyed my room and tried to kill me," Shulk said casually.

"Uh..."

"He hates me. He doesn't like anyone except Sakurai, really, but I think he really hates me." Shulk looked up at the ceiling. "It's a meme thing. You wouldn't understand."

"Don't bring the meme thing up again."

"You're just jealous because you're non-memelord scum."

"Whatever." She said nothing more to him, feeling offended.

After a few minutes of awkward silence, Dr. Mario walked back into the infirmary, a troubling look on his face.

"Is something wrong?" Sheik asked.

"Well..." he began, wringing his hands. He glanced at them both, then at the ground, before continuing. "I've run out of pills, I'm afraid."

"What?!"

Shulk sat up quickly in bed, but pain shot through his legs again. He laid down, much more slowly than he had sat up.

"I'm not going to get another shipment of pills until next week, either. You're going to have to heal the old-fashioned way: getting lots of rest."

There was a moment of silence as the doctor's words sank in. Next week... Shulk's eyes widened as he realized what the doctor meant. Sheik looked away from the doctor, feeling disappointed.

"Next week? B-but that's when the tournament starts!" said Shulk.

"Sorry, but... if you don't heal by then, you can't participate."

Shulk said nothing back. He had a sinking feeling that he wouldn't heal in time for the tournament.

"Dr. Mario, can I get up now?"

"It's been five minutes since you used the bathroom. No, you can't."

Shulk fidgeted in the bed. His legs were now covered in bandages and propped up on a pillow, and there was a bag of ice on each leg. So far, it hadn't done anything to ease the pain.

"But it's supper time now."

"I'll bring some food to you, don't worry."

Shulk rolled on his side, making the bags of ice slide off his legs. When the doctor left, he was going to sneak out.

"And don't try to sneak out," the doctor added. "If you do, it'll only take longer for you to heal."

Shulk rolled onto his back again. Dr. Mario replaced the bags of ice, then left the room.

"...The weather is nice," Sheik began.

"Shut up."

The next morning, Captain Falcon and Ness came to the infirmary with presents.

Captain Falcon gave Shulk a family size bag of Doritos and a liter bottle of Mountain Dew. "For you," he said.

"Thanks, bruh."

Ness gave Shulk a crappy-looking get well soon card. "Read it," he said.

On the cover of the card was a crayon drawing of three stick figures: one small one with a cap, one regular one with a sword, and one tall one with an added ten-pack and biceps. They seemed to have their arms draped over each others' shoulders. Shulk identified them as Ness, himself, and Falcon. He opened the card.

even if you miss the tournament

itll be okey YES!

(platonic) love,

ness & CAPTAIN FALCON

Shulk couldn't help but feel his heart warm a little at the card. "Aw, thanks guys."

"No prob," replied Falcon.

They all exchanged bromantic glances, closing in on each other for a totally platonic hug- when suddenly there was a loud BLARE! from the card. Shulk practically jumped out of his skin.

"Oh yeah, I forgot about the airhorn," said Ness, making it sound like he totally didn't forget.

"Can I get up now, Dr. Mario?"

The doctor crossed his arms, feeling his frown deepen just a little. He understood that Shulk was getting restless after being confined to a bed for so long. But he didn't need to keep asking the same question over and over and over again.

...Sheik had not been this annoying, he thought.

"It's been three days now. And my legs are starting to feel better."

He wasn't lying. It might have been the ice numbing him, but the pain in his legs was beginning to feel more like a dull afterthought.

"I want you to stand up slowly," Dr. Mario finally decided. "Just like when you go to the bathroom, okay? You too, Sheik."

"Yasss!" Within a few seconds, Shulk was on his feet.

"Slowly-!"

All of a sudden, Shulk felt light-headed as the blood rushed away from his brain. He wasn't used to standing up this fast. His legs started shaking, feeling weak and ready to give in. Just before he collapsed, he felt someone at his side holding him up.

"I told you, you bum. You have to stand up slowly."

It was Dr. Mario, who seemed to be reaching his limit with Shulk's stupidity. Once Shulk regained his balance, he let go and went over to help Sheik.

"Alright, it's lunch time now. You both can go to the cafeteria today- but take it easy, okay?"

While the two patients walked out of the room, the doctor called after them, "And come right back to the infirmary when you're done! And if your legs suddenly feel weak or you suddenly feel pain, just rest up a bit!"

The patients kept walking, not even looking back at the doctor.

"Are you two even listening..." he sighed.

With every passing day leading up to the tournament, the atmosphere in the cafeteria grew more and more excited. Smashers found themselves talking a little louder or faster than normal. Others felt like they had had a cup of sugar. Still others started indulging in gossip and rumors.

"I hear that Sheik might not be in the tournament this month..."

"Oh, thank gods! She's like, a killing machine. I wouldn't survive a minute against her..."

"I bet you 500 gold coins Fox's going to win this time."

"Looks like I'm getting 500 gold coins, then."

"Diddy is gonna wipe the floor with everyone. I'm sure of it."

"Don't be so confident, man. He's been nerfed since then."

Caught up in the buzz of excitement, Shulk couldn't help but get excited himself. Not only was he hyped for the tournament itself, but if he was lucky, he could defeat a few memelords on the side too. That is, if he managed to heal up before then.

"To be honest, I just want to know who's fighting this time..." Captain Falcon commented, putting his legs up on the table.

Shulk stared off into space, letting his mind move on to other things. Soon, the participants this month would be announced, and the hype would reach critical mass.

He hoped he could heal up before then.

Sheik left the infirmary before Shulk did.

She was more physically fit than he was; after all, she was a fighter built for speed. Plus, after being in three Smash. Bros. games, she was probably used to getting beat up like this. In just four days, she had healed completely, and was free to return to her usual room.

On the other hand, Shulk was more accustomed to sitting in a dark room and fiddling with gadgets (and going on the Internet). "Working out" wasn't really a part of his vocabulary. Running from Ridley was the most exercise he'd had in a while, and that had left him completely worn out. Now that he thought about it, it was a wonder he had such toned abs.

"Are your legs feeling better today?" the doctor asked, walking into the room.

Shulk stayed silent for a moment. Tomorrow was the day the participants would be announced, so it was now or never. He moved his leg, and felt soreness as the muscles stretched.

It wasn't completely healed, but it would do. Hopefully.

But wait! went his conscience. Dr. Mario said that you have to wait until your muscles are completely healed before you can fight again, remember! Otherwise you might end up pulling your muscles again and making it worse!

...I want to participate in the tournament, though, thought Shulk, fighting his conscience.

You shouldn't lie to the good doctor, either!

I want to be in the tournament!

Lying is naughty and bad. And you know what happens to bad and naughty children...

...They get put in the Pear Wiggler to atone for their crimes.

You see what I mean?

Yeah...

For a second, Shulk was about ready to follow his conscience and do the right thing, but suddenly Shia LaBeouf appeared in his mind.

"DO IT!" Mental Shia LaBeouf shouted. "JUST DO IT!"

"Don't let your dreams be dreams! Yesterday you said tomorrow, so JUST DO IT!" he continued, pacing around and making weird gestures. "MAKE YOUR DREAMS COME TRUE!"

Mental Shia LaBeouf was right. If he wanted to be in the tournament, Shulk should do what he had to to get there. He shouldn't let his dreams be dreams, he should JUST DO IT!

"Shulk? I asked you a question," Dr. Mario said.

"Oh!" Shulk jumped a little, having forgotten that the doctor was there. "Yeah, I'm good. In fact, my legs don't hurt at all anymore!" he added, putting on a smile.

"Good! That's good," the doctor replied. "Let me just take the bandages off your legs, and then you'll be free to go."

The doctor went over to Shulk's bed, removed the bags of ice on him, then unwrapped the bandages from his legs. "Alright, you can go now. I think Master Hand already repaired your room, so you can go there now."

"Okay, thanks," said Shulk, and then he walked out the door, feeling great.

Even still, he had this nagging feeling...

Shulk, don't do it. I know your inner Shia LeBeouf motivated you, but you really shouldn't do it this time. You might end up getting hurt again.

Not as much humor this chapter, sorry.