Coup D'etat

by hellsdescent

**Sequel to Raison D'etre**Dean, the King of Hell, is gone, sacrificed himself to save the world from Lucifer's clutches. His death leaves a hole in the lives of all who knew him. Castiel and Sam are determined to raise the lost King from the deep abyss of the ninth circle in hell where Dean's soul has been for nearly ten years.

23. Archangel

The boy was a long time answering, and the red light from the Scripture seemed to be fading the more minutes passed. Castiel feared he wasn't going to get an answer. "Do you wish to hear...this truth? I warn you that the truth is not always an aspect of life that is to be cherished."

Everything was a riddle. Castiel was getting severely irritated. "Yes. I want to know. I want to know who the Archangel on this realm is...and where I can find him. But first...I want you to unfreeze Balthazar. If there is an Archangel here...then he deserves to know."

There was something amused in the boy's voice as he responded. "..Hmm. Very well."

Immediately, Balthazar thawed out and nearly stumbled into Castiel's back. But he righted himself at the last moment and shook his head.

"Always rushing into things without thinking of the consequences," Balthazar scolded him. "What did I say about-"

"Quiet, Balthazar. Listen," said Castiel, pointing at the scripture where red letters danced above the surface.

"Listen to what-"

"Listen to me," said the boy. "You seek the Archangel's aid...but you must understand first where it all began."

Balthazar jumped, looking around. Comically he reached for a sword at his waist, and then seemed to remember that it was taken from him by Dante, he scowled. "What is that? Where is it coming from?"

"Is that Scripture talking?" Balthazar asked, pointing at it and raising an eyebrow at Castiel.

"Yes," said Castiel stoically.

"I am called Dominion," said the boy, the same exact tone he had used before to address Castiel.

"He's called-Dom-...How is that possible? I thought the damn thing broke," said Balthazar incredulously.

"Quiet, Balthazar," Castiel hissed. "It's not..complete. You said so yourself. It's been through something fierce. It's just a memory."

"What is he talking about, Archangel?" Balthazar asked. "And why does it sound like an adolescent?"

"I don't know, Balthazar, why don't you ask him?" Castiel snapped irritably.

"I sound this way because that is my true form," said the boy calmly.

"Your true form makes us sound like we're very inappropriate angels by talking to you. And while that may ring true for the Fallen here-"

"BALTHAZAR,"

"It does not ring true for me," finished Balthazar smoothly.

"Are you through with your idle banter? There is much you must understand if you are to continue," said the boy, with a slightly biting edge to his tone.

"I just want to leave," Balthazar answered, throwing up his hands in exasperation and turning his back on the Scripture. He seemed particularly irritated. A moment ago, he was brimming with the desire to waste time with Castiel and talk about the past...Now he didn't want to talk at all. It was almost like he was afraid of what was going to be said.

"Is this going to take long?...We have to get to Dean," said Castiel, exchanging a look with Balthazar.

"The demon is not in immediate danger as of this moment, however, that may change. The battle between them has concluded. He has suffered a dire injury," said the boy matter-of-factly.

Castiel bared his teeth. "A dire injury. How is that not immediate danger?"

"Easy, Castiel. He's doing this for you. And he's a big boy. He knows how to take care of himself. Trust me, if the king were to fall, the entire realm would feel it. Maybe we should listen to the glowing thing," said Balthazar and then he looked concerned. "...You see a glowing thing too, right?"

Castiel growled under his breath but then indicated to the Scripture wordlessly to proceed.

The red light from the Scripture faded and it became a scene in front of Castiel, outlined in the same light. He found himself in a dark field surrounded by black thorns with a dark, cloudy sky above. He knew it was a projected memory, for he could still see Dante's cave in the background.

" Long ago, the Scripture was created by Heaven to bring balance into the mortal realm. It contained the word of God and it's sole purpose was to establish order for the lost souls on the strayed path. But it did not remain in Heaven for long. The defiant one―You know him as Lucifer―managed to invade Heaven and bring the Scripture down to the mortal plane. He poured into it, his cruelty and malice...In doing so, his destructive personality fragmented his power into the Scripture. "

He recognized Lucifer's transparent form holding the Scripture, much different than how it looked now. It was radiating a beautiful white aura. The light touched Lucifer's face and Castiel could see greed and delight color his features.

"It had become...sentient, the power that was within it. The being that came forth was named Dominion and he was the governing source of the Scripture. "

Castiel and Balthazar watched as Lucifer began to speak, but they could not hear the words. Whatever he was saying was something he read on the Scripture. His lips were hard to read to figure out exactly what was being said, but it looked like some kind of spell.

The Scripture lifted from Lucifer's hands then, and true to the story, a being came from the scripture, first feet, then legs and a chest. It was a child's form, a boy that was glowing too bright for Castiel to make out any of his features other then in simple terms, he might have looked like he was nine or ten. Lucifer spoke to the form, and yet again, the words were difficult to decipher. He bowed his head as though in respect...such a strange act. Castiel had never seen Lucifer bow before anyone. Not for a long while.

By the desperation on his face, it seemed like he was asking for something, asking this being of light...

"The denizens of Heaven, sent an Archangel, who pursued Lucifer down to the mortal realm, but he was too late in recovering the Scripture."

The clouds parted in the vision and a third being descended. Castiel recognized his body armor and glistening sword. Bright wings extended from behind the Archangel's back, enormous and strong. He wore a galea, a helmet that covered his entire head and left an opening down his forehead to his chin. It was a standard protective garment in the celestial realm to protect one's head during battle. It was hard to tell who it was.

"Obligated as Dominion was to react to one of his creators, he allowed Lucifer one wish."

"So you've come, and alone at that? I thought you would," said Lucifer, smiling at him. Castiel jumped at hearing Lucifer's join the boy's in his head.

"You go no further, Lucifer," said the Archangel. There was something familiar about that voice... "If you give me back the Scripture now, no harm will come to you."

"Is that so? You know, I've learned a long time ago not to truly trust the word of Heaven...It tends to be...fragile, at best," Lucifer retorted coldly.

"Relinquish the Scripture, Lucifer, or I will be forced to engage," The Archangel responded, his voice turned commanding. Again, Castiel felt his voice was familiar. Not like the boy. He could say with some certainty that he had never met him before...but this voice.. And yet Castiel knew he had only encountered Archangels Raphael and Gabriel in his time as a celestial. The others were either too high on the celestial chain of command or simply commanded other legions with no need to speak to him. Raphael was his commanding officer for a time. Raphael was about as bad as Lucifer. He'd relish the thought of punishing someone and he wouldn't ask about it first... he worked with Lucifer in the past to usurp him and then later bring him back...so maybe that wasn't totally accurate. Yet this was before all that happened wasn't it?

It was possible this was Raphael, before becoming a corrupted swine. But the voice didn't match up. Raphael's voice was deep and refined. Later on, Castiel would attribute it to the voice you might find in a bad-guy archetype.

"Engage," said Lucifer, laughing. "The formalities on you. Engage then, will you? Get on with it. Don't leave me in suspense."

The Archangel drew out his weapon. It was the largest sword Castiel had ever seen with jewels running on the sides of the hilt and along the blade. The memory made it impossible to tell what color the blade but something told him it was the strongest gold.

The Archangel charged him. But in a split second, Lucifer's gaze met Dominion's and a wordless exchange occurred. The Archangel was thrown back by a beam of light, rolling back into the place he once stood. His helmet rolled off and they finally saw his face.

What might have been Dean's own face on the Archangel's shoulders. Except perfected. No scar on the cheek...The hair, even outlined in red looked like it was a lighter shade.

"That's...," Balthazar's eyes widened.

"John," Castiel whispered.

"No," said the boy. "That is not his name...Not his true name."

"His...true..name?" Castiel repeated slowly. He watched the form that stumbled and got back to his feet, proud and arrogant. Castiel never had the luxury of seeing him personally. He had spoken to him once, and through a mind link with several other angels, begged him to stave off an attack on Manhattan to prevent harming Dean in the process. The Archangel had listened but only just.

Michael.

"It's Michael," Castiel breathed. "How..?"

But the question seemed to prompt what happened next. Lucifer approached the fallen figure of John—Michael...and held the Scripture in his hand. Behind him, Dominion watched with a neutral expression as Lucifer knelt next to him.

"This is your doing, brother. You chose mankind over me once...and believe it or not, I forgave you. But now you dare oppose me after this? It was never you I had my vendetta against, Michael, it truly was not. But like with everything, you make it about yourself. And they call me selfish and...prideful," Lucifer tilted his head, touched Michael's cheek. "But it's been you."

When Castiel saw his hand go to his sword, Castiel feared the worst. Except Lucifer only squeezed the hilt on his back. Dean's sword, he recognized. The Sword of the King. Lucifer stood up then.

"I'm not going to kill you, Michael. Killing you would be too swift of a punishment," Lucifer interlocked his fingers in thought. "I think my new friend and I agree that you deserve something much more."

Dominion said nothing, in fact, Castiel watched as he looked away from Michael's form as though in shame.

Lucifer's face changed into a contorted expression, twisting him into something beyond anything angelic or human...He looked like what they had been calling him for centuries, a monster. "No...You're going to spend the rest of your life with them...Those pile of cockroaches that you put over me. That you put over everything we had."

The fire of a scorned little brother. Dominion raised his hand in Michael's direction did not look directly at Michael as he was blasted with another beam of light, this one thicker, wider in range, striking the Archangel directly in the chest. The beam spread a sphere around him and when the light faded, Castiel looked upon a being that had no light surrounding, no wings that made him fearsome and terrible to behold to any mortal. No, he just saw a man. The same man Castiel had recognized as John Winchester just by his face upon entering this pitiful realm.

"Dominion had created a curse of mortality upon the Archangel. To live upon the mortal realm and suffer their lives. He no longer had his power, but his memories remained. In time, even he was unable to see the stars where angels dwell. He became a shadow of his former self. A man tied to the world he was given. Eventually, the memories of his time as an Archangel became abstract and distant. But Michael was still of a strong, righteous heart. The pain and suffering of humanity was much for Michael. But he pressed onward...As fate would have it, he encountered the one who would change his life."

The vision changed and Castiel was looking upon an image of John and Mary, the two of them clasping hands underneath a shaded tree. The happiness in Michael's expression was unmistakable and the love in her eyes was almost tangible. Castiel remembered Mary, and he was reminded of the generated Heaven he had visited many times in Heaven after the attack on Manhattan. It was the same Mary with her long blonde hair and bright eyes. The woman who was made to love.

"But it was the birth of their son that would soon tear the loving couple apart. Shortly after cursing Michael, Lucifer hid the Scripture on Earth and retreated back to Hell where he relished in his victory. But Dominion left him with ill tidings. He spoke of a being of unassuming proportions that would bring doom to heaven and hell. The being would be born under the mirror in the sky. Lucifer dismissed this claim at first, but his proud demeanor did not stave off the thought that this being would destroy him. When news came that Michael's child would be born, Lucifer ventured to find his brother. His plan was to kill the child."

The scene changed yet again and Castiel and Balthazar found themselves looking at a ransacked home, the windows shattered and broken, the front door hanging off its hinges...blood splatter was everywhere. But it was the sight of Mary's mangled body that Castiel had to turn away. He never knew Mary in life, and yet he could not bear the sight of her death in such a way. He took a deliberate calming breath, remembering that she was at peace now. That despite all this, she was the only one among them in this story that was living the life she wanted in a place of serenity.

Lucifer was there, holding a child up to a broken ceiling. Up to a rainy sky where rain fell down them in torrent. Dean's cries filled Castiel's mind with dread. But this he could not look away. He heard the weak, broken cry of John as he tried to reach for his son. His son of such short time. Lucifer smirked at the broken...once-feared angel and crushed his skull with his boot as if he was nothing.

"But he did not kill the child as he had wished. Instead, Lucifer raised him. For he believed that having cast the curse on Michael to make him mortal, the child was rightfully his, despite what his true bloodline was. Or perhaps it was his arrogance. He simply wanted to show Heaven one last time that he could corrupt what might have been the first child of Heaven. It would have been the foolish path, for the child would have possessed no extraordinary abilities...Michael had been human during his conception, after all..."

Now they were looking upon a room in Lucifer's castle that Castiel had never seen before. It must have been Dean's room. A lavish bed in the center and closed curtain windows. And..a boy. Dean, no older than three or four. Innocence brimmed out of him...despite what Lucifer had done, he had retained a youthful radiance that Castiel could not help being a little pleased at seeing.

"But Lucifer's punishment for Michael was left unfinished in his view. Michael was restored to power soon after his death through unknown means. He came back to life as the General he had long forsworn. Of course Heaven rejoiced at recovering their General that had been missing for so long. But Michael was again, a shell of his former self. And he was cursed with a human soul despite the fact that he was once again imbued with the Immortal Fire of angels. He could not resurrect Mary and live his life with her as much as he wished it so. He knew the consequences of giving into such feelings as love and heart would have him cast out by his brethren if they knew the truth. He left Mary's soul in Heaven where she lived only in the plane of serenity. And his child...His only legacy and proof of the life he spent as a mortal... He could not recover him. For in doing so, war would surely follow...and he was bound by the laws of the treaty he had helped write so long ago to maintain peace between Heaven and Hell."

And one final scene they saw was Michael...clad in the armor they had initially seen him in when he came down from the sky, the same armor he was always depicted in even by humans, his helmet covering his face, his sword drawn. He looked upon the world from the top of a high mountain, his eyes cast slightly downward. And though Michael's stance was always straight and confident, there was something subtly broken about his eyes.

The visions faded and Castiel and Balthazar were left in the dark cave. The red light reformed above the Scripture.

Thinking back, Castiel remembered that though most commands came down the chain of command, there was room for error...Too much. After all, how could Raphael had gotten away with working with Lucifer in the later future to plot an invasion of Hell...if Michael was fully aware? Perhaps he wasn't...or perhaps he was and he simply did not care. A man. An angel. The difference would have meant nothing for a being who had lost so much.

But Balthazar. He saw his old friend turn away from the light and run his hand through his hair. Balthazar was a commander, and he had much more experience with Archangels than Castiel ever did. He even possibly met Michael on occasion. During the last battle in Manhattan, he had defaulted under Michael's command temporarily...Surely they spoke then? Then again, Michael was rumored to never be seen without armor and a helmet like so many high up on the command.

"Did you know?"

"Did I know that the washout in the camp was our General? No, I did not know that," Balthazar snapped. "Michael was always wearing armor. Always barking orders. He was about as rare to see as God was."

"Having a face like that is pretty hard to miss, wouldn't you say?" Castiel retorted. "You were his commander-"

"I was one of his commanders, among hundreds. I'm still one among hundreds. It never even crossed my mind that he could be Michael. It never crossed my mind that he could...," Balthazar eyed the Scripture. "...have gone through that. Even if they were identical...I could have never made the connection that Michael was John...that he had a son."

"Michael was human for x amount of years, and it never occurred to you to go looking for him? To save him...He just miraculously shows up again after some time?" Castiel growled. "Lo and behold, Hell's got a new ruler too. Just so happens to resemble Michael to the T."

"Oh please," Balthazar snapped. "If there was actual reports of Michael's disappearance, there would be chaos. If Heaven knew that Michael had gone missing, the chain of command kept that under wraps. Lest they start a panic. What do you think could happen if everyone knew Michael had gone? They would have started civil war in our ranks. Consider that. We're not the ones famous for starting strife among our own. That's Hell's job, not ours. How could I have known? He was never giving me orders personally...I took my commands from...geh...Raphael. And as for Dean looking like big daddy..Don't start with that. I never saw the General's face...and the Prince's face has irritated me since day one."

"How easily you dismiss the fact that the chain of command was still the Generals that we fall under, that we died for," said Castiel. "For ridiculous suicide missions that we never once thought to question."

"Now you sound like Lucifer. Or Raphael. Take your pick," said Balthazar, annoyed "Of all possibilities...who could have covered it up? Who do you think took command of rank during Michael's disappearance? Don't think too hard on it. Blonde, kind of a dick."

"Raphael," Castiel answered. "I know. But that doesn't...make it right."

"Nothing about this is right, Castiel," Balthazar murmured. "Nothing about it. Nothing about anything we're going through is all right. Everything is a disaster."

"Michael is Dean's father," Castiel spoke, as if saying it would make it a fictional statement. He couldn't wrap his head around the fact that the demon he had come to know and care for was the son of the strongest angel alive. If Michael had been more than human during the time of his conception, Dean might have become the most powerful force in the universe. Nephilim was a strange concept. The half-breed offspring of Angel and Human. God had wiped the world of them through a flood long ago after the Fallen he cast out mated with mortal women...now to think that Dean could have been one.

But he was still powerful, surely. That had to be inherited. What else had he inherited? Did he...know?

Balthazar had a different train of thought altogether. "Flaw in your little story, kid. If John Winchester is who you say he is. If he is our General, there's no way he shouldn't be at full power as we speak. The anti-magic barrier field is down."

The boy was a long time answering once again and Castiel noticed for the first time that the red symbols above the Scripture grew brighter each time he spoke, as if they were tracking his speech. "The Archangel was killed nearly ten years ago again...and his brother cast Michael's human soul into this realm...He arrived around the same time as Lucifer and the demon did."

"Does Dean know?" Castiel asked.

"Why don't you want to talk about it? This might be a long way. I'd like to hear the story,"

"There's no story."

"Of course there's not."

"Angel. Just trust me on this. You don't want to know."

"The demon in question is aware of the information I have provided you," said the boy.

Balthazar looked Castiel's way with a raised eyebrow. "Well, looks like you guys will have a lot to talk about when you see each other again."

"Why didn't he tell me?" Castiel seemed to be asking himself. He ran a hand through his hair. "And how did he know? Did John...ugh...Michael tell him?"

"It was not a matter of admittance. Dean is Memory. When he broke Dominion, he took upon the memories inside of the Scripture. Including what I have showed you. His own memory, his human memories were restored as well," said the boy.

"Dean is Memo...What are you talking about? When he broke Dominion?" Castiel repeated. "When did he-"

"On the mission. That you can't remember," Balthazar interrupted. "You were there, Castiel. He broke the Scripture...he broke Dominion...Why? I don't know. But in doing so, he shattered the pieces of its power into himself and...you."

"Yes," The boy confirmed. "Dominion was broken. But he could not be destroyed so easily. His pieces went into those within the closest proximity...but it was fate that you were there that day...and it was fate that made Dominion shed his power into you. You. And Him."

"And Dante," said Balthazar. "That's what I was...getting at earlier. I guess he can say it better."

"I'm a part of Dominion?" Castiel put a hand over his heart. "That can't be. I'm an angel...well...Fallen now. But...I can't be part of something...like that? It's not possible."

"Yes," said the boy. "You are an angel. You are a being capable of many things. We have been led to believe that angels are the imperfect creations of God and that humanity was his greatest endeavor. But perhaps it is not so. You are capable of love in it's greatest degree...but you are also capable of destruction and wrath. You are Dominion's Compassion...and you are his Retribution."

"I'd remember something like this," Castiel insisted.

"You do not remember because your memory was stolen from you," said the boy.

"By who?" Castiel asked, though he dreaded the answer and spoke the wrong one anyway. "Was it Dante?"

"No, it was Memory."

Castiel blinked, stared. A human thing to do as he learned in his time on Earth would be to pinch himself. Wasn't that the way to tell if one was dreaming? But he wasn't dreaming. And this was real. This...memory was telling him something impossible.

"And Dean is..."

"The demon is Memory," said the boy, repeating himself from before. "Dominion chose him as Memory because he wanted to show him what fate would have in store for him in the future. Memory does not necessarily mean something from the past. A memory can be pulled forth from any part of time. It was Dominion's punishment, perhaps...to give him such sight...But that was not the only fragment that Dominion gave him. He gave him Law...perhaps an inheritance from his true bloodline."

"Michael," said Balthazar.

"Yes. Or perhaps it was to bring balance,"

"To weed out Dante. He's the last one," said Balthazar grimly. "He's Havoc."

"Shadowalker," said Castiel slowly, looking up from the bit of cave earth he was glowering at. "That's why he brought me here. That's why he brought me here to Dean. He wants them doesn't he? He wants to become Dominion."

"Perhaps," said the boy. "He is a difficult one to read. His methods are chaotic in nature."

"Of course they are, he embodies just that," said Balthazar. And he sounded truly sorry. "Dante...We used to be so close...and then something went so wrong with him. I never could have guessed it was this."

But Castiel was thinking of something else. He was thinking of Dean being memory. If he controlled memories, then surely he was the cause behind Castiel not being able to recall the mission. If he had taken the memory, destroyed it, whatever he did...Didn't that mean that he knew Castiel before officially meeting him?

Didn't that mean he knew all of this?

And he never said anything, never implied it. When he met Dean, there was nothing to suggest that they had met before. Maybe the duration they met first was short...or perhaps they kept out of eachother's way during the mission for the Scripture.

Castiel wished he could remember. It was so frustrating to rack his mind and find nothing. If he thought back that far, he remembered his time in Heaven under Raphael and disliking it. He remembered Balthazar and himself, but nothing about the Scripture.

Dean had removed everything. Not just the mission but everything regarding the mission. He didn't want Castiel to remember this. Why? What happened in that room? It was implied now that Dean hadn't liked what he heard...that he chose to do this. To them, to all three of them.

He wanted to know why.

In his own inner turmoil, Castiel couldn't help but reflexively mutter for Balthazar's benefit. "It wasn't your fault. You couldn't have known all this."

"It's what he said though...before you came. He said, 'Pretty soon, you'll be calling me Dominion.' You're right, Castiel. He wants to take the fragments into himself and become Dominion," Balthazar looked towards the Scripture. "Is that possible?"

"Perhaps. But the fragments cannot be taken by force, you must destroy the wielder...It is possible that once the other two are freed, that Dominion will reform...but I cannot say. It may only be a dead man's path. It would take an incredible amount of power to harness Dominion," said the boy.

"This thing is really not very helpful," Balthazar murmured, approaching it. "We have to stop Dante. We need a way out of here. Out of this realm. He's got this whole place in the palm of his hand. Does Michael know the way out?"

"Michael is not at full power. He must be summoned by a being of purity. Though it is possible that once he is at full power, he can create the Divine Circle,"

"Divine Circle. You mean the circle that can lead to other realms...like a Dimensional Door that doesn't really require payment," said Balthazar.

"Yes," said the boy. "That is what Havoc seeks to create."

"Why?" Castiel asked. "You never really answered me before...Tell me...Why would he want to use Michael to create this circle if he has left before?"

"He does not wish for the Divine Circle for his own escape. He wishes to curse him first."

"Curse him? You mean...wait no... He just wants in the camp. What curse could he possibly procure from there?" Castiel asked.

"He tried to make me create the Divine Circle...but I didn't have the power to do that," said Balthazar to himself. "So he's going to get Michael at full power...for a curse on Dean. What kind of curse?"

"I believe the curse in question would be the same one utilized on Michael himself."

"The same...Oh...Oh God. The mortality curse," Castiel's look of horror lasted but a second before being replaced by disgust. "He doesn't want to kill Dean. Not now anyway...he wants to turn him mortal."

"He really knows how to draw things out, doesn't he?" Balthazar shook his head. "Really. If he wants to kill you two, why not just get on with it? No offense, Castiel. I prefer you very much alive, no matter what state your mind is in."

"Thank you, Balthazar," said Castiel stonily.

"What I want to know is how he knows all this," said Balthazar, but then he looked at the Scripture again. "Or maybe I don't have to look far. You know...Scripture. You're really thinning out the sides, aren't you? Why help Dante? Why help the bad guy? You do realize what he's doing, what he's been doing is...insane?"

"I am only able to give the information out that I was provided. I do not adhere to your...'sides'. Havoc was once a part of me so I am obligated to respond to him," said the boy in a flat voice.

"Like a computer program," said Balthazar. "You can't operate outside the bounds of your programming."

"That is a sufficient analogy," said the boy.

"And you healed him," Castiel put in bitterly. "Dean ripped off his wing and he miraculously healed in less than an hour. I wager that was you."

"If I am able to use the little power vested in me to aid, I will do so," said the boy, sounding almost affronted. "I would have done the same, had it been you."

"That sounds very reassuring...But I don't have time for this," said Castiel. He turned to Balthazar. "We have to get to the Shadowalker before he manages to find John and get that curse."

"I agree-" Balthazar began.

"You will not make it in time. You are not equipped to fight off the Shadowalker in your current state. If you venture out, there is a high chance that you will be taken by Havoc and killed on contact," said the boy. He didn't hesitate to add on to that. "He is not very pleased with you."

"I can't just stand here and do nothing with you!" Castiel snapped, pushing Balthazar aside angrily to stand in front of the Scripture. "You said I'm part of it. That I'm part of you. What am I supposed to do? Just leave Dean's fate in his hands?!"

"You are blinded by your compassion, but that is not your fault. But it is not compassion that you need to defeat Havoc, if that is your wish," said the boy after a long moment. "You would require your Retribution to defeat him. You have experienced it before. But your mind was distorted through Havoc's influence."

Balthazar grabbed Castiel's shoulder to restrain him. "Tread carefully, Castiel."

"What are you talking about? I had my mind," said Castiel.

"Yes, you had your mind. But you allowed your suffering to become your power. It was twisted against you and you had no true control over your mind. You could see, but you could not act to stop yourself...Your compassion was suppressed. It was only in that way, that you were strong."

"Can it be done again? Can you make it so that I only target Dante?"

"Castiel," Balthazar protested furiously. "What are you thinking?"

"No," said the boy before Castiel could answer him. "Suppression would mirror what has happened before. As for what side you would choose, if it must be so crudely put, that would revert to the state you were in before...Perhaps once more, you would stand by Havoc."

Castiel looked down, both hands clamped down on the altar and he was left staring for a long moment at the rock he grasped. "Damn it."

"It's not worth it, Castiel. We'll do the best we can. Come on," said Balthazar.

"No," Castiel growled. "I have to be strong. I have to be able to fight him. Is there nothing else you can do?"

"It is possible to unlock the power of Retribution in you once more without suppressing Compassion. However, I do not know the repercussions of this. If one fragment will dominate the other, or if they will harmonize as one. I do not know. The effects are unknown to me," said the boy.

"Do it," said Castiel at once. "I can control myself."

"Castiel, you can't be serious," said Balthazar through his teeth. "This thing helped Dante. It's been helping him. You can't trust it. It could kill you and deliver you right to Dante and I wouldn't be able to stop it. "

"It's a neutral entity, Balthazar. It has no alignment or allegiance to any of us. If Dean were here, it would try to help him too," said Castiel without looking at him. "I know...I can feel it. He hasn't lied to me thus far. If he doesn't know, he doesn't know...but he's leaving it up to me."

"And you're being stupid. We have to find Michael. Restore him. If he creates the Divine Circle, we're out of here. This is our chance, Castiel," Balthazar pleaded.

"We don't have the resources to restore Michael. You're still just a Commander...and I'm a Fallen. I have to do this. Dean would want me to," Castiel added the last part as a guess. Dean probably would react more or less the same as Balthazar or he might be all for it. It was hard to tell. Dean's spoken word was usually different from how he felt nine times out of ten.

"Dean would want you to be the angel he remembers," said Balthazar. "He loves you. He doesn't want you to change."

Castiel closed his eyes. The word love...regarding Dean. Dean, who lied to him. But he could not hold it against him for long. Dean was the reason he was here...and perhaps...by doing this, his own memory would restore on it's own. "It's all right, Balthazar. Worse comes to worse...You can always have a trial for me when we get back. I won't fight you on it."

"Castiel-"

"Do it, "Castiel said again, more firmly, over Balthazar.

"Are you sure?" The boy asked. "There is no coming back from this. You will be altered forever."

"I made my choice,"

"Very well,"

The radiance surrounding the Scripture expanded yet again like it had done for creating the visions they saw, except it was a sphere of red. Balthazar was pushed away from it by an invisible force. He was pulled off his feet and thrown into the hallway that Castiel had come in from. It did not hurt him, but the implication was unmistakable. When he landed, he hit the cave floor on his back, looking up just in time to watch Castiel's form disappear inside the red light.