Author's notes: Thank you for the lovely response to the last chapter. This one came as a surprise to me, I didn't know this conversation was going to take place. I hope you enjoy it.
Over dinner it's decided that they'll move on, heading south. They'll start out after breakfast without any destination planned, just see what happens. Lisbon's a little nervous about it, liking to know where she's going but mixed in with that nervousness is excitement. She trusts her travelling companion and surprises herself by being willing to have him lead.
As they sit looking out over the beautiful vista she wonders how much this place is responsible for this change. Her life, for so many years, has been spent in fifth gear, pressure to close cases, to file paperwork on time, to live up to her high standards that she sets herself. Even when she got where she wanted to be, she never let up, striving to be the best . But here she's spent her days taking the time to really see and enjoy what nature can give. Not just beauty but energy, peace and perspective. She turns to Patrick.
"When we get back to Sacramento…"
He looks at her.
"Let's not talk about going back."
"Just this one thing."
Patrick lays down until he's resting on his elbows and gives her a lazy smile.
"Okay, one thing – as long as it's not work."
Teresa lays down with him turning on her side so she can see him.
"When we go back let's promise that we'll spend time like this together often, at least once a month, something lazy and relaxing."
Patrick's smile grows wider.
"Now that's a promise I think I can keep, even if I have to kidnap you to do it."
"You'll think I'll forget?"
Patrick reaches out and moves away hair that has fallen on to her face.
"Not intentionally, but once you join the rat race, climb on to the treadmill, start the daily grind…"
"…..I get the picture."
"Just don't hit me when I drag you off."
"Now that I can't promise."
"I'll guess I'll have to take my chances."
"Good."
Patrick lays all the way down, his feet are crossed and he lays his hands, lightly clasped, on his chest and looks up at the sky. The sun has almost finished setting, its last tendrils reaching out across the sky in its final goodnight, introducing the stars that are to keep watch. One by one they start to appear and then by three's and fours until they all burst upon the scene, twinkling over them in there alloted patterns.
"I have a star named after me."
"You're kidding! I thought that was a cheesy thing that men did for women."
Patrick looks over at her.
"It was a birthday present from Charlotte."
Teresa's face turns to horror, just as he knew it would.
"I'm sorry Patrick, it..it's a lovely present."
Patrick lifts one hand dismissively.
"Meh don't worry about it. I agree with you, but from Charlotte is was a lovely present."
He takes a deep sigh and Teresa recognises the act as preparation for a difficult revelation.
"She was scared of the dark and she wanted a friendly face in the sky, My actual star is a tiny thing but as far as Charlotte was concerned it was one she could see outside her bedroom window."
"Did it help her?"
"Yes she changed to a night-light so she could see it more clearly...Her...her head was turned towards it when...when I found them."
Tears prick at Teresa's eyes.
"Of course I don't know if she was looking at it, if it comforted her, or if she was pleading for me to save her..."
"You can't torture yourself with thoughts like that."
"Kristina Frye told me once that she'd 'channeled' Angela and Charlotte and that they wanted me to know that Charlotte didn't know a thing, that she never woke up."
"Was her eyes open Patrick when you found her?"
Patrick looks at her for the first time since he started talking about Charlotte. His voice is heavy with emotion, though barely a whisper.
"That's the thing, I can't remember. I should. I remember everything else, how can I forget whether my daughter had her eyes open or not?"
"You would have been in shock Patrick, you can't blame yourself."
"In the crime scene photos her eyes are closed, but did I close them, I'm sure it's something I would do, but I don't remember."
"I don't know Patrick, but I know you shouldn't torture yourself about it. Some things you just have to let go."
He looks back up at the sky.
"I'm sorry I didn't intend for the conversation to get so heavy when I told you about the star, I don't want all my memories of Charlotte tainted by what happened. I want to remember all the good times we had together, without fear."
"It'll come, you been focused on revenge for so long that you're still stuck in the grieving process. Give it time. it gets better. It's scary but the more you think about her the easier it'll get. I tried to shut my mom out when she died because it was too painful, but I realised it was punishing myself a second time. The only mom I had now was in my head..."
She feels Patrick take her hand.
"It was very painful at first, I felt I was tearing up inside, but it became easier, it lessened to a dull ache, until eventually the pain disappeared for most of the time."
They catch each other's eyes, Patrick gives a small smile.
"Thank you."
As always when he looks at her with intense honesty of his feelings she flushes with slight embarrassment and the warm pleasure of their friendship. She returns his smile.
"You're welcome."
They look at each other for a long moment, Teresa can feel herself flushing even more and turns to look at the sky. She can still feel his eyes on her.
"So which one is it?"
"Which one what?"
"Which is your star?"
" Ah, I would show you if I could but you actually need a telescope to see it."
Teresa looks at him and laughs.
"Seriously?"
He breaks out in to a huge grin and nods his head.