Well... it's been a while since I updated. Way longer than I promised. More details after the chapter end.

It was a nice day outside. The sun was out, the flowers were in bloom, and the birds were screaming bloody murder as always. Shulk was just going on a peaceful, leisurely walk through the park, thinking about his life. He soon realized that when he challenged Ike, he never took Marth's meme with him. So he was going to have to fight him, too!

"Stop right there, scum!"

Shulk winced at those sharp words. He could feel the edge so strong, he swore it was actually cutting into his skin. He turned around, and the one he saw was exactly who he expected.

"If it isn't ShadOW the EDGE-hog."

Shadow the Hedgehog was standing before him, in all his emo glory.

"It seems you know me already."

"I know a memelord when I see one. What do you want, anyway?"

Shadow pulled the DAMN fourth Chaos Emerald out from behind his back.

"CHAOS… CONTROL!" he shouted.

In a flash of light, Shulk and Shadow disappeared from the park… and reappeared in Final Destination. The stage was strangely warped, though. The stage was black and red, and the background, once filled with colorful nebulae, was now an empty void.

Shadow held his hand up in the air, and an edgy black sword materialized in his hand. It was like Ryuko Matoi's Scissor Blade, except edgy and black.

"This Sword of Ow Edge is made of pure concentrated edge. In fact, it's so edgy it can even cut through physical objects!" He tested it on himself, slightly slitting his wrist. "Wow, it actually works…!"

"Come on, tell me what you want already!" Shulk demanded.

"My name is Shadow the Hedgehog. You killed my faker." He pointed the sword straight at Shulk. "Prepare to die!"

"Crawling in My Skin" by Linkin Park began to fade in in the background.

"Oh, I see. You're mad I killed Sonic." Shulk took out his Monado, ready to fight. "But I didn't kill your friend, you see. He's the one who decided to fly into the sunset!"

"He's not my f-friend or anything! Just die already!"

Shadow drew a pentagram in the ground with his sword, and he began to chant, "EM FO LLA MA I! EM FO LLA MA I!" The pentagram glowed red, and then from the ground emerged Dante from Devil May Cry. And Knuckles! Their eyes were black and lifeless.

He pointed the Sword of Ow Edge at Shulk and said to the two, "You see the British guy over there? I want you to kill him."

"...hurgh..."

"...augh..."

The zombie-like summons lurched toward Shulk, rocking back and forth and gurgling. When they got too close, Shulk charged a down smash, spun around, and knocked them off the stage. Like the Mii Fighters in Multi-Man Smash, they tried to jump back to the platform, but when they missed, they accepted their fates and welcomed death's cold dark embrace.

The summons were pretty weak, but Shulk was still impressed- and now he knew to absolutely not let his guard down with this guy. A minor memelord wouldn't be able to summon a physical being, not even a copy of a lesser meme.

"That all you got?" Shulk said, putting on a brave face. Shadow cracked his knuckles, and a tiny smirk appeared on his face.

"I have to do everything myself, don't I?" he said, and then he charged straight at Shulk, dragging his sword on the ground behind him. He was going so fast that he was leaving a trail of sparks behind.

A straight-up charge attack? Shulk thought. Seriously, that never works! How stupid can he be? "Counter!" he shouted, easily anticipating the attack.

But the attack never came. Just as his counter stance ended-

"Pathetic," he heard from behind him, and then he was knocked off the stage. As he flipped away, he saw Shadow casually tossing a green emerald.

Did he just use a Back Slash on me? Is he trying to beat me at my own game?!

Shulk, now furious, grabbed onto the ledge, then jumped back on stage. Shadow was approaching him slowly, still dragging his sword behind.

"What's wrong, Shulk?" he said. "I thought you would be stronger than this. But I guess even the power of memes can't improve a talentless little boy like you."

Shadow's smirk spread into a sadistic grin.

"SHUT UP!" Shulk roared.

He activated his Speed Art, hoping to outspeed Shadow, and charged at him swinging.

"Too easy!" Shadow said, and warped just out of the way of the Monado.

"Take this! HAH!" Shulk used a side smash.

"You're telegraphing your moves!"

Shulk spun around to the source of the voice. Again, Shadow was tossing the green Chaos Emerald and grinning.

"Fights are supposed to be fun, but you could hardly call this entertaining. In fact-" he disappeared in a flash of green light- "there's too much of a difference in our power levels to even call this a fight."

He swung down with the Sword of Ow Edge, stopping just short of Shulk's neck.

"Counter!"

"Fell for it!"

Shadow didn't even bother to teleport, he just waited until Shulk's counter animation was over and then knocked him upside the head. He flew backwards, sliding on the floor.

Come on, Shulk! Focus! said the voice in Shulk's head. You can't keep fighting like this, or else you'll end up like Ike.

DO IT! Shulk's mental Shia LaBeouf shouted. Just DO IT! Nothing is impossible.

…You're right. You guys may just be figments of my imagination and I'm going insane, but thanks.

"What, too tired to get back up? Already?" Shadow jeered. He approached Shulk again, lofting his sword over his shoulder.

Shulk took a deep breath, in and out.

Focus, Shulk, he thought. He may be strong, but he's not invincible. His insults don't mean anything.

Like a shonen manga protagonist getting his second wind, Shulk pulled himself back up to his feet and wiped the dirt off his cheek. "Crawling in my Skin" faded to silence…

"Time to tip the scales."

"…You!"

…to be replaced with "Engage the Enemy" from Xenoblade Chronicles.

Shulk got into a charge stance yet again, but this time he didn't charge blindly. He knew Shadow's tricks now.

"Don't just stand there, weakling. Come at me!" Shadow said. He got into a battle stance, too.

"You asked for it!" Shulk charged forward just as Shadow had done before.

"Too easy. Chaos Control!"

He teleports behind me when he wants to counterattack. My timing has to be just right…!

"Disappear!" Shadow shouted, about to throw his sword like a spear.

"A vision… I see it!"

Shulk turned around and slashed at Shadow, sending him flying backwards. The Chaos Emerald flew out of his hand and off the stage, and Shadow ran to the ledge to watch it fall.

"You little shit, I spent eleven years trying to find that emerald! You're seriously going to make me look for that DAMN emerald again?!"

"Back Slash!" WHAM!

Shadow was launched off the stage. He managed to get back to the ledge, but the Sword of Ow Edge slipped out of his hand and fell into the void too.

"Anything to keep the joke going," Shulk said. "You know how memes are, they never truly die."

"Damn you," Shadow retorted. He jumped back onto the stage and gave Shulk his worst death glare, but the boy just kicked him back to the ground.

"I thought you would be stronger than this. But it looks like you were showing off your power to hide that you're actually a glass cannon and your Defense stat sucks." Shulk looked up into the black void and shrugged. "I guess not even a Chaos Emerald and a big sword can't do anything for a weakling like you."

"Y-you traitor! I know what you're planning to do!" Shadow snarled. But Shulk wasn't intimidated. Shadow backed away from Shulk, edging closer and closer to the ledge again.

"Oh, really?"

"You defeated Robin and Reflet and took their meme. And soon enough you're going to take over all the memes in the world and become the ultimate overlord. Aren't you?"

"It's Supreme Meme Overlord. Get it right. You'll regret it when you're nothing but a servant to me and my memes."

Shadow looked behind him, and saw nothing but the ledge and the void. He sighed and hung his head.

"Giving up now? Good. Now be a good hedgehog and hand over the meme."

"...I think you should know by now that I'm not a good hedgehog. After all, taking candy from a baby is fine by me." Shadow used all his remaining strength to pull himself to his knees. He clasped his shaking hands together and began to mutter, "Maria... please answer my prayer. This is a foe I cannot beat alone. I need your help..."

Shulk internally groaned. This dumb edge-hog wouldn't stay down. And only the protagonist was supposed to get the second wind!

"Give up already. She can't hear you," he said.

"You don't know my backstory!" Shadow snarled. With one last burst of strength, he pulled his trembling body back to its feet. "You wouldn't understand, anyway. Maria is my only guiding light. She is the only hope I have in this screwed-up world."

He stumbled forward a few feet.

"Maria never gave up on me before, and I know she'd never give up on me now!"

"From what I've heard, Maria gave up on you a long time ago. She's already dead!"

Shulk raised his sword, ready to cut down the edgelord one last time. But just before Shulk could finish him, a beam of light cut through the void and shone down on the space in between him and Shulk.

A single teal feather floated to the ground.

"Wait, she actually heard you?!"

A familiar dark angel alighted in front of Shadow. He crossed his arms.

"You called?"

"A... A dark guardian angel! Thank you, Maria!"

"Great. It's Emo McEdgelord."

Dark Pit took his laurel off like it was a top hat and did a little bow. "Thank you for calling me by my proper name. Now let's fight already!"

A/N: This is going to be a pretty long one, so no bold font this time around.

I have kinda… well, not kinda. I've lost nearly all of my motivation for this fanfic. I haven't played Smash Bros. in a long while, plus college starts in a week.

B-but please don't kill me yet! I've gotten to the point in the story that I actually had mostly planned out, and now that the plot can start advancing faster, I'm just going to try and wrap it up quickly. Just like everyone else, I hate it when people don't finish a fanfic and then never even update to say they're not continuing it anymore. So I'm going to do my best to at least finish this thing, unresolved plot threads and sloppy ending or not. It may take me a year or more, but I will finish eventually.

My estimate is somewhere from five to seven more chapters until the end. I was originally thinking about a sequel, but now I'm not sure anymore. I for sure will finish the main story and then release some bonus chapters later on that didn't make it, but they won't count as "canon."

Okay, announcements are over, now onto the chapter notes!

I have played Xenoblade Chronicles (but I haven't finished! No spoilers, please!) so I know that Shulk is wildly out of character. I did do a disclaimer about all the OOC characters in his game, but let me say… in his game, Shulk had a goal, and once he was set on it, he couldn't be shaken from it. It's kinda like that. Also, I'll be honest and say that he has to be a confrontational jerk to advance the plot.