Honesty
Author's Note: Thanks for the reviews. I hope you guys enjoy this chapter.
Chapter Notation: I have always thought that the Leaf was at best neglectful towards Sasuke. Sasuke never seems to have received any counseling after his family was murdered and they left a small child all alone to deal with that trauma. Frankly, I'm surprised that Sasuke didn't leave or go postal sooner. (Oh and the same applies to Naruto because they treated kid Naruto like trash because of the Nine Tails.)
Chapter Five
Sasuke sighs and decides to let Karin and Suigetsu wear themselves out. They might be powerful ninjas, but sometimes they acted like overgrown toddlers. Eventually, their temper tantrum would die down.
"I'm going to go check the mail." Jugo says and Sasuke nods.
The last thing he needed was for Sasuke to see him staring just a little too long. It was better to put some distance between them. Checking the mail provided a convenient excuse to do just that.
"Hmm that's odd." The orange haired ninja muses a few minutes later.
Dear Leaf Ninjas,
On the Hokage's orders, all of the Leaf's active duty ninjas will be undergoing mandatory physical and health evaluations. You are required to schedule your own examinations in the next two weeks or will be docked a week's pay.
Sincerely, Shizune the Hokage's Assistant.
"What's odd?" Suigetsu asks a few minutes later, after Karin had finally calmed down.
"Oh it seems Tsunade wants everyone to get a physical and mental health evaluation. I don't know if you and Karin count since you aren't officially listed as Leaf Ninjas, but I suppose it wouldn't hurt. You are planning to become one and if Karin decides to go that direction, it'd be better to get it out of the way." He muses.
Suigetsu blinks. That was weird. Yeah, ninjas that served villages were generally required to have a yearly exam. Still it was odd to have everyone do it at roughly the same time. He shrugs and decides it didn't matter.
"Eh sure. Who knows? Maybe I'll get a cute medic to do my physical and it'll be fun to mess with the shrink's head." He states with a smirk.
"Suigetsu, what you are babbling about?" Sasuke asks as he descends the stairs.
Sasuke must have changed rather quickly. Now he was dressed in his normal clothes again and not the bathrobe. Jugo was thankful for small mercies.
"We got a letter. Looks like the Head Bitch wants everyone to get a checkup. Physical AND mental. Yeah, that's not good news for you." The white haired man says with a smirk.
The last Uchiha raises an eyebrow. Suigetsu wanted his daily beating it seemed. Honestly, he sometimes wondered if he and Naruto were both secretly masochists. Did they like getting beaten up or something?
"Itachi, attack." Sasuke mutters and suddenly the black furball lunges at Suigetsu, tackling him.
"Itachi?! Where?! Your brother is dead. He wasn't brought back again, was he?" Suigetsu looks around a little panicked at the possibility.
"I think he named the dog after his brother." Jugo muses.
Sasuke nods in agreement at this assessment. He was going to have to call the puppy something. He couldn't just call it boy forever. Besides, the dog's fur reminded him of Itachi's hair. It was the same color.
"Oh that's not creepy at all. Naming the dog after your dead brother. Yeah. That's totally normal. You are seriously going to ace that mental health evaluation." The violet eyed man says as he scratches Itachi's ears.
Jugo gives Suigetsu a dirty look. The sword lover quickly puts up his hands as if to say that he gave up.
Now that Suigetsu knew that Jugo was apparently carrying a big torch for Sasuke, everything made a lot more sense. It completely explained why the last Uchiha could calm his rages so easily. It also explained the real reason why Jugo had gotten upset at the nickname.
Suigetsu knew what his friend was like during his rages and didn't see the need to provoke one over a joke. He decided he'd have to be very careful with how he taunted Sasuke around the mostly gentle giant. The animal lover was not so gentle, when provoked.
"I imagine that you'll traumatize the counselor as well. I'm not worried about the evaluation. They need the Sharingan too much to care about my mental health. They never did before." He says with a shrug.
Jugo had to suppress a rage. He knew exactly what Sasuke meant by that. After his entire family had been slaughtered by his brother, the village had only treated him for his physical shock. Once the seven year old was coherent, they had just let him move right back into the Uchiha District without any counseling.
That's right. They let a small child move right back into the place where his Clan had been butchered. They sent him straight back into the home where he had seen his parents laying in a pool of their own blood. The Leaf had sent him back to that place, ALONE. Never once did they bother to treat him for his trauma. That was fucking infuriating.
"They should have. I know it's not Lady Tsunade's fault, but the Third really should have known better." Jugo mutters and Sasuke blinks as he notices more than a little venom laced into that statement.
"It doesn't matter now. Let's just get this over with." Sasuke says with a shrug.
The last Uchiha figured if he acted calm, it would soothe Jugo. It was actually touching in a way. The other man was more outraged about his lack of care than he was.
"Get what over with?" Karin asks as she comes down the stairs.
"Tsunade wants us all to have mental and physical evaluations. Apparently, they are making all active duty ninjas do it. You and Suigetsu aren't active duty, but if you want to become Leaf Ninjas…I'd probably do it and get it over with." Sasuke informs her.
"Oh alright. That makes sense." Karin says.
A few days later, Sasuke sighs as he goes to speak with Tsunade. He had just finished his physical. "Shockingly" he was in perfect health. Even his new arm was adjusting rather nicely. Now for the fun part. The mindfucks.
"Now Sasuke, I realize you probably haven't been looking forward to this. So I want to make it as easy as possible for you." Tsunade says.
"Uh huh?" Sasuke asks skeptically.
"We are going to hook up this machine that will measure your physiological responses and we'll ask you questions. Quite simply, we will show you a series of pictures and see how you react." She informs him.
Sasuke didn't think seeing how he reacted to a series of pictures was going to tell them a damn thing. He decides not to argue as he just wanted to get this stupid evaluation over with and it sounded simple enough. He just gives his nod of consent and allows himself to be hooked up to the machine.
"Is there anything else I should know?" He asks.
"Some of these pictures will be mundane and others will be rather explicit in nature. Both sexual and violent. Ninjas are exposed to both sexuality and violence in spades. So it is a good idea to see how your react to those situations." She explains.
Sasuke shrugs. It took a lot to shock him these days. He didn't care if they showed him pictures of that nature. He had seen everything that one could imagine while he was at the Sound. He doubted that anything Tsunade had in her "arsenal" was going to have much of an impact on him.
"That's fine." Sasuke mutters.
Tsunade nods and flashes a few pictures. At first it was standard things. Furniture, food, ninja tools, nature, and so forth. Sasuke's reaction was stronger towards ninja tools, but clearly more in a mildly interested way. So far his results weren't anything out of the ordinary.
"Reminds me of the Land of Tea." He notes idly as he looks at a nature scene.
"Good. What about this one?" Tsunade says as she flashes towards a picture of a man and a woman kissing.
"They have no idea what they are doing." He says with a shrug and the machine registers mild revulsion.
"What do you mean by that?" The busty blonde asks, intrigued by both the verbal and physical response.
He really didn't like being psychoanalyzed. Sasuke decides to cooperate though. Maybe he'd get out of there faster if he was a "good boy."
"It's not attractive when a kiss becomes a slobber fest. The man is being far too timid and the woman has her tongue shoved halfway down his throat. They are either horrible kissers or not compatible. Why does it matter?" He asks.
"That was rather specific for someone who has only been kissed twice to my knowledge." Tsunade muses.
"Those were accidents!" Sasuke protests.
"Of course they were. Well accidental or not, the fact remains that was extremely specific for someone who hasn't exactly sought out a romantic relationship before." The blonde continues.
Sasuke wanted to tell her to fuck off. He reigned in the impulse though. He wanted to get this over with, not be put on probation. The younger ninja mentally counts to ten and then answers.
"Just because I haven't been in a romantic relationship before, doesn't mean that I'm completely oblivious. Besides, I've seen more than enough at the Sound to realize when two people are or aren't sexually compatible. Just go to the next slide." He snaps at her.
Tsunade wisely shows the next picture. This one was of two men. She had done her best to find a picture of two people who resembled Sasuke and Jugo just enough to psychologically prime him to think about the other man, but not enough to be obvious.
There was one black haired man with fair skin and blue eyes in the photo. The other was a very large man with red hair and green eyes. His hair was styled similarly to Jugo's. It was another kissing photo.
Sasuke shivers slightly. He was pretty sure he managed to hide it. That one was much better.
"What do you think about that one? Ignoring the sexuality of course." Tsunade asks.
"Their more compatible." He says simply and leaves it at that.
His physical response on the machine was anything but simple though. Sasuke had apparently LIKED that photo a lot. Tsunade wisely doesn't comment though and puts up a rather violent picture of the aftermath of a battle.
"Is that seriously supposed to scare me? I lived through the War with Madara. That's nothing." He scoffs.
"It's not intended to scare you, just to get your reaction." She says and continues showing him pictures for another half hour.
Sasuke sits through it. He was being fairly patient by his standards. The busty blonde was almost certain that he had decided to cooperate to get out of there as quickly as possible. She couldn't blame him. If anyone had a reason to be wary about letting someone inside their head, it was Sasuke Uchiha.
"Well that's everything. I'll just have to look over these results and evaluate if you are stable enough for missions. I'm certain that you are. It's just standard protocol." She says.
"If it's standard protocol, how come I never had to do this before?" Sasuke asks in an irritated voice.
"After the war, we came up with a new evaluation system." The medic tells him.
Sasuke seems to accept that because he walks out of the door without further compliant. As soon as he was gone, Tsunade summons Kakashi to her office to go over the results. This should tell them one way or another, if he was interested in men or not.
"How'd it go?" Kakashi asks a few minutes later, when he arrives.
"Fairly well. He was more cooperative than expected. I believe that we have a good sample to work with here. I showed enough images to make it a representative sample." The blonde says, seeming pleased with herself.
Kakashi nods. He glances at the machine readings. Well something was certainly getting a bigger spike than the other subjects.
"He definitely reacted far more strongly towards pictures of two men together than a man and a woman. If anything, he was slightly repulsed at the straight pictures. Though he claims that was mostly because of their incompatibility and poor kissing technique. Not his precise words, but that was the general point." She explains.
"He's definitely gay. Whether or not he has admitted that to himself, is another matter though." The CopyCat Ninja adds.
Tsunade nods. Well that was certainly true. Still it was a start. At least now they knew that their matchmaking attempts might actually go somewhere.
A few days later and Sauske sighs. It had happened again. This was the third time this week that he had woken up in Jugo's arm's.
Having nightmares that often wasn't unusual for him. That was why he always tried to sleep alone. He didn't want anyone to realize that.
Jugo though apparently could hear him when he cried out in his sleep. It seemed that his shield had decided he was also going to be his fucking dream catcher. He was going to shield him from the nightmares. Because this just kept happening!
"Jugo, are you awake?" Sasuke calls out softly.
He frowns when he received no response. Jugo was a surprisingly heavy sleeper. The last Uchiha tries to wiggle out of his teammate's hold, but it was really no use. He wasn't going to disentangle himself, without waking Jugo.
Sasuke just didn't have the heart to do that. The other man looked so peaceful. It almost felt like it'd be some kind of crime to wake him from his peaceful slumber.
"I guess I'll just wait for him to wake up." He murmurs to himself.
The larger man clearly knew what he was doing. This wasn't the first time that he had come to Sasuke's aid during the middle of the night. Jugo probably thought that Sasuke was a basket case at this point. Three times in one week. Pathetic.
The worst part about it was when he DIDN'T come. Then Sasuke would wake up to a suddenly far colder bed than he was rapidly becoming accustomed to. The raven haired ninja was becoming dependent on the other former criminal. That was never a good sign.
"Sasuke, go back to sleep. It's early." Jugo mutters as his eyes slowly open.
"It's about 6 in the morning." Sasuke replies.
"Yes and that's about six hours earlier than you prefer to get up when given a choice." His companion responds.
Sasuke blinks. Now Jugo knew his sleeping habits? This was getting far too intimate. Jugo was gay, but that didn't meant that he wanted to be anything more than friends. The leader of Taka didn't want to fuck up one of the few friendships he had over a maybe.
"Well that's true. You don't have to babysit me though." Sasuke informs him.
"I don't mind staying with you and I don't think of it that way. You aren't the first ninja to have night terrors. Kimimaro used to help me with my own when I was younger. It's nothing to be embarrassed about." Jugo assures him.
The younger ninja considers this. Jugo used to have nightmares? Well of course he did. The man went into blind rages and probably felt horrible guilt about all the people that he had unwittingly killed. Biology had decided to turn a gentle person into a vicious killer in exchange for giving him power. It was only natural that Jugo would have nightmares.
"You and Kimimaro were really close then." Sasuke says.
"He was my best friend. I treasured our time together. I miss him greatly, but at least he's not suffering anymore." The other man replies.
Sasuke nods sympathetically. He knew what it was like to lose someone. His family. Arguably, Itachi had been his best friend before everything had happened. He could sympathize.
"That's good. That he's not suffering anymore, I mean." Sasuke says awkwardly.
"I know what you are wondering. Yes, he was also my lover. Unlike Suigetsu, you are too polite to ask such a question bluntly. I appreciate the thoughtfulness, but it's alright." He says.
Sasuke HAD been wondering that. Well that settled that. If Kimimaro was the other man's type, Sasuke certainly wasn't. Kimmy, as Sasuke had mentally dubbed him, was a serene and devoted follower. He had power, but he was completely devoted to Orochimaru.
He understood why of course. Orochimaru had found the white haired man when he was just a small boy. He had been even younger than when the snake had lured Sasuke into his lair. Kimimaro never really had a chance against someone like Orochimaru. Someone who had perfected brainwashing to an art form.
"Oh. Well like I said, it doesn't matter to me who people love. I'm glad that you found happiness, even if it was brief." Sasuke offers.
"Thank you, but you never did answer my question." Jugo informs him.
Sasuke mentally panics. He knew exactly what question the gentle giant meant. Maybe he could play stupid. Would Jugo by it and drop the matter? It was really his only hope.
It would be incredibly awkward, if he told Jugo that he was gay. This was especially true at the moment.
For all Sasuke knew he might be laying in "Kimimaro's spot." The other man probably wouldn't sneak into his room, if he knew they were both attracted to men. Jugo was just being a good friend. He wasn't trying to seduce him.
"What question was that?" Sasuke asks "innocently."
Jugo gives Sasuke a look. The last Uchiha was able to decode it perfectly. The expression on the Taka member's face was clear as day. "You aren't that stupid. We both know you aren't. Are you really going to try to pretend to be that dense?"
"If you preferred men or women romantically. I'm not going to judge you either way." He says.
"…" Sasuke is speechless.
He didn't know how to answer that. It would be better if he wasn't in Jugo's arms when the other man asked that question. This situation couldn't be anymore awkward.
"You prefer men then." Jugo says after awhile.
"What?! What makes you say that? I didn't say that." Sasuke protests.
"If you preferred women, you wouldn't hesitate to answer the question." Jugo replies logically.
Well Sasuke couldn't really argue with that. He still didn't know what to say. The raven haired man couldn't exactly say that he was gay, while he was snuggled up to him. Damn it.
"This conversation is awkward." Sasuke says as he wiggles out of Jugo's arms.
"I didn't mean to make you feel uncomfortable." Jugo says with a frown.
"It's fine. It's just not something that I talk about much. Girls were always annoying to me. When they grew up to be women, it didn't get much better." He says with a shrug.
Sasuke was gay. In theory that meant that there was a chance that he might return his feelings. Still Sasuke clearly avoided intimacy like the plague. He was embarrassed to even be comforted after a nightmare.
"I can understand that. I think I prefer men because they seem less…physically fragile." The orange haired man aadmits.
Sasuke's lips twitch upwards in a smirk. Jugo wasn't very familiar with Tsunade, Mei, or Sakura in that case. Fragile was definitely not a word he would apply to any of those women.
"That was possibly sexist." The last Uchiha chides him gently.
"You were probably thinking it. I'm not saying there aren't strong women. It's just their bodies are softer, usually." Jugo rushes to defend himself.
"It's fine, Jugo. I know exactly what you meant. Just don't tell Suigetsu about this. The idiot would never let me live it down. Don't tell Karin either. I don't want to have to deal with the kicked puppy looks." Sasuke warns him.
Jugo chuckles. He wouldn't tell Suigetsu since Sasuke asked him not to. It was hard to resist telling Karin though. Maybe she'd back off once she realized that she had no chance with Sasuke due to her gender.
"I won't tell them." He promises.
"Good. I'm going to go start on some more repairs." Sasuke says and heads out of the room.
He couldn't believe he had just done that. Sasuke couldn't believe that he had just told Jugo he was gay. Damn it. Now things were going to be strained between them.
Jugo most certainly was not going to hop into his bed anymore to chase away the nightmares. They were both knew that the other was gay now. It was different.
The orange haired man had thought that Sasuke was straight. I was one thing to do it, when he thought Sasuke liked women. It was quite another when it was obvious they both batted for the same team.
"That didn't go as planned." He mutters as he starts working on reconstructing some of the buildings.
It gave him something to focus on . He needed to think about something else. Anything else. Manuel labor was as good as any other option.
A few minutes later, Suigetsu finds Jugo. He looks at him in confusion. The gentle giant couldn't help but ask what was wrong.
"Is there a reason why Sasuke is going all construction worker this early in the morning?" The white haired man asks.
"I can't tell you that. I promised not to. Besides, the buildings really do need to be repaired anyway." Jugo says with a shrug.
Suigetsu raises an eyebrow. What could Sasuke possibly have told Jugo that was so scandalous that he didn't want his other teammate to know? Oh this had had to be good.
"Did you finally confess your undying love for him and desire tap his prissy ass?" Suigetsu asks.
"His ass is not prissy. It is a VERY nice ass, but no. I didn't tell him how I felt." The other man admits.
"It was more a description of his personality. He is very prissy. I don't spend all day staring at Sasuke's ass. That's Karin's job. Well I guess it's your job too. Hmm so did you finally get the guts to ask him if he was gay?" The violet eyed man continues.
Jugo goes silent. Suigetsu blinks. That silence spoke volumes. Jugo had asked Sasuke if he was gay.
"Judging by the fact that he is now passive aggressively working on construction, I guess Sassy is out. He's Sas-GAY." He says smugly.
That did it. That triggered a rage. Jugo was not going to let Suigetsu tell Sasuke that he knew about his sexuality. Then Sasuke would think he betrayed his confidence. He slams the other man into the wall.
"SHIT! JUGO, CALM THE FUCK DOWN!" Suigetsu thunders at him and turns into water to evade the monstrous punches that were now being thrown at him.
Damn it. Maybe he had gone too far with calling Sasuke that. Obviously, Jugo was in love with him and insulting Sasuke made him snap. Damn it. He just hoped that Sasuke heard the fighting and got his ass in here pronto.
Jugo in a rage was not to be messed with. The white haired man didn't want to hurt his friend. He wasn't in control of himself, but he also didn't want to die either.
"SASUKE, HELP! GET IN HERE, RIGHT NOW! JUGO LOST IT AGAIN!" Suigetsu screams and dodges yet another punch.