Walk me through the Valley

Disclaimer: Characters and premise are the property of Kazue Kato. I'm just borrowing them for a little non-profit me through the Valley

Chapter Seventeen: The Days Following

For the first few minutes after fleeing Angel's office Rin didn't know where he was going, but when he found himself at the bus stop on the edge of campus he realized where he wanted to be. He paid the fare and twenty minutes later the bus dropped him off a few streets over from the cemetery where Shiro and Kuro had been interred.

As he approached the grave, Rin saw someone else sitting on the ground in front of it. Nagatomo looked like he'd been there a long time. Rin started to back away, but the sound of gravel crunching beneath his feet alerted the young priest to his presence.

"Rin!" Nagatomo exclaimed in surprise. Rin turned and took two quick steps away. "Rin wait!" Nagatomo called. "Please?"

Rin stopped.

"I never should have let you leave like that, but I didn't know what to say. We always loved you, you know that don't you?" Nagatomo pled.

Slowly Rin nodded.

"I shouldn't be the one counseling you, not when I'm part of the reason you need it," Nagatomo continued. "There's not much I can say, except that we never meant to hurt you. I've been thinking about it all day, and I suppose I could try to say we wanted to keep you hidden, under the Order's radar. Because you're right, Shiro never wanted you to be used as a weapon only now that the Grigori knows about you it's the best protection we have left to offer you. I could try to convince you that was all of it, but that would be a justification and you deserve better than another person trying to come up with excuses for why we hurt you. In truth all I can say in our defense was that we meant well, but our prejudices betrayed us. We screwed up and I think both you and Yukio ended up bearing the cost of our mistakes. I'm sorry."

"Why did you bother?" Rin asked repeating his question from the morning.

"Because it was the right thing to do," Nagatomo replied. "You were an innocent baby. It didn't matter who your father was, it would have been an atrocity to kill you. But we expected to have to fight for your soul against the very blood in your veins. And it never happened. We were all ramped up for a battle and there you were, with huge eyes, a sweet smile and a ready hug. We were so relieved to have won a war that we never had to fight to begin with. You were a good person naturally, we didn't expect that and so we never asked more of you."

Rin sat down on the ground and pulled his knees up to his chest. He sat there for a while chewing on his bottom lip. "Did you regret it? When I wasn't a baby anymore and I kept getting into trouble?"

"No, never!" Nagatomo exclaimed. "Most of the trouble you got into was because you were trying to help. We wanted to protect you from the backlash but we never would have wanted to change the heart that led you into trouble."

"Why did everything always go wrong when I tried to help?" Rin asked.

"I don't know," Nagatomo said. "I just don't know."

By the time Rin and Nagatomo made it back to the old dorm it was long past dark. They let themselves in quietly to avoid waking anyone else. But the lights in the lobby were still on and Aiko was sitting there waiting.

"Hi Rin," she said softly. "You okay?"

At that Nagatomo headed upstairs.

Rin eyed the curly-haired girl warily.

"I quit the Academy," Aiko said. Before Rin could react she added "You should too."

"You don't have to-" Rin started feeling like he was trying to talk Konekomaru out of quitting all over again. Then he broke off when the rest of what Aiko had said registered.

"You're a part of the True Cross Order, and that bitch Shiku stands there in front of the class and tells us all how she wishes you were dead," Aiko ranted. "And it's not even because of anything you've done! The Order's obviously willing to use you, but they act like that? I want nothing to do with a group that would treat it's members like she does."

Rin just stared at Aiko.

"So I quit," she continued. "I'm withdrawing from the True Cross Academy. I don't want their stupid scholarship."

"It's not- this is a really good school. You shouldn't," Rin stammered. He sighed. "Satan is my father; Shiku wasn't wasn't lying; that's why they treat me like that. They wouldn't do stuff like that to you."

Aiko shook her head. "You didn't hear her. She really wants you dead."

"Yeah, I didn't think she was kidding around when she tried to get my execution unsuspended." Rin shrugged. "Last year's Summoning professor sicced ghouls on my whole class to hurt me; Satan possessed him and killed his family on the Blue Night. I let him stab me so he'd be happy and leave my friends alone. Shiku telling all of you about me? Honestly that's pretty mild." Then to Aiko's surprise Rin grinned. "And yeah, she wants me dead, but Angel didn't go along with it. Last summer the only reason he didn't kill me on sight was because he needed me as evidence to get Mephisto in trouble; probably 'cause the clown's a demon too. But now, well Angel still says he'll kill me if the Grigori orders him to, but he doesn't want to!"

"Rin-kun, that's… horrible," Aiko said. "You shouldn't have to prove that you deserve to live. You shouldn't be satisfied because someone has enough of a conscious to feel guilty when they think about killing you."

"After I walked out of class I talked to Sir Pheles. He tried to talk me out of quitting too, but eventually he realized I wasn't going to change my mind. He recommended transferring to Shirakawa. There's a small, independent Shinto Shrine there. I talked to one of their Mikos on the phone, it sounds like they've got a strong bond with the local Spirits. She even mentioned seeing a family of Snowmen," Aiko smiled nostalgically. "It's been ages since I've seen any of them. Shirakawa has a decent school associated with the shrine and I think I'll fit in a lot better there. You should look for someplace like that. Somewhere you'd be appreciated."

"My father is Satan," Rin reiterated. "It doesn't matter where I go, everyone's gonna freak when they find that out." He looked sad for a moment. "Even the people who raised me, loved me didn't think I'd be a good person." He grimaced. "You hear all this stuff about parents are supposed to have unconditional love, my Dad did, in spades. And right now I'm sort of wishing he'd had a little faith in me too."

"But here things are getting better. Angel would feel bad about it if the Grigori told him to kill me. I've got friends who decided to ignore who my father is. I've even got a couple of brothers who aren't all bad even if they are all demon. That Shiku decided today was the right time to clue you all in about why you're supposed to hate me was just the cherry on top of a really sucky day, but I'm okay." Then Rin shrugged. "Besides, if I'm not the Grigori's weapon they seriously will order Angel to hunt me down and kill me, and neither of us wants that."

Aiko gave Rin an apologetic look. "If I'm going to join an organization like this, I want it to be one I have some respect for. After today, after getting an idea of how they treat you, I don't have any respect for the True Cross Order at all. But I guess you've made up your mind too. So - Good luck Rin, and um- well, if you're Gehennan then I think you're more of a good spirit than a demon."

Before Rin could reply the door burst open. "Rin! We've been looking for you everywhere!" Shiemi exclaimed. "Aiko-chan told us about what happened in the Pages' class, then you didn't come home for dinner. We were so worried! Oh! You've got to call everyone right now and tell them you're okay!" Shiemi ordered sternly.

While she fussed and Rin tried to reassure her, Aiko quietly slipped away.

I'm going to have a talk with the Pages," Bon said darkly once Rin had given the other Exwires a very abbreviated explanation for his disappearance.

"No!" Rin protested vehemently.

"Why not?" Bon demanded. "I can't do anything about Shiku but they didn't have to listen to her and I intend to tell them so."

"Last summer if someone had ordered you to be nice to me, would you have cared?" Rin asked earning guilty looks from the others.

"Rin's right," Konekomaru said quietly. "They have to make up their own minds as to whether they're going to judge Rin on his own merits or be ruled by their fears."

"We can remind 'em that he's our friend," Shima pointed out. He turned to Bon, "A talk like the one you had with Shiratori's only gonna make things worse. But we could mention how we live with Rin, we know him better than Shiku and, hell, remind 'em that some of them might be Tamers so do they really want to listen to someone who says you can't trust Tamers?"

"Talking about Shiratori, I heard you got in a fight with him?" Bon questioned Rin. "Since when's his dorm on the way to the bus station?"

"Where'd you hear that?" Rin stalled. He wasn't anxious to discuss the part of his day that he'd edited out.

"You were missing. Shiratori's a psycho who gets off on capturing and torturing demons and he's got a history with you. Of course I checked his dorm," Bon replied.

"It wasn't much of a fight," Rin said. "He tried to hit me, I didn't let him."

"And then you got hauled off by the same Exorcist who'd just told the Pages that she wants you dead!" Bon exclaimed.

"You heard that part too?" Rin asked.

Bon just glared.

"Angel shut her down. He said it was just a school yard fight and she was wasting his time."

"Well lets all be thankful that it only took him four months of teaching you one-on-one to figure out that you're not a bad guy!" Bon snapped. "Why were you anywhere near Shiratori's? Were you looking for trouble?"

"Rin, you were looking for holy water weren't you?" Shiemi asked solemnly.

Rin's shoulders hunched under the weight of his friends' worried, hurt looks. "I didn't go through with it," he said in a small voice. "That's why we fought… Sorry."

"You didn't go through with it," Konekomaru said after several moments. "That's the important part. I for one am very glad to hear that you chose not to harm yourself. I'd much rather place trust you than in an oath that you were tricked into making to keep you safe."

Rin relaxed a bit. "You might be, but I'm a little worried about what Mephisto's going say about me figuring out how to get around his oath."

"He'll probably give you points in Negotiations Class," Izumo said. "Since you didn't do anything about it." Her chin came up and she glared at him commandingly. "If you had, he wouldn't have gotten the chance to do anything. If you had, you'd have to deal with me."

Rin smiled fleetingly. "Wouldn't want that," he said. He looked at all the Exwires. "I- I'm sorry about today. I, I guess I forgot I still had you guys even if I've lost all my new friends."

"They'll come around," Bon said. "If they don't they're even dumber than we were last year and they don't deserve you anyway."

In spite of Bon's opinion, Rin still found himself dreading going to his and Godain's homeroom the next day. In the end he waited until just before the bell rang, then at the very last minute he slipped into his seat beside Godain. With the teacher already starting class there was every reason for them to not talk to each other and Rin didn't even look at Godain, not wanting to see fear or hatred replace the friendship he'd had with the other boy.

When the period ended, Rin got up the moment the bell rang, intending to be elsewhere until their next teacher arrived. Godain grabbed his arm before he could escape. "I'm sorry," he said.

Rin's breath caught. After a moment he turned to Godain, "You don't hate me?"

Godain winced. "At least be mad at me," he said.

Rin patted his shoulder tentatively. "You found out Satan's my father, it's normal that you freaked."

"You're my friend, you've never been less than a good friend to me," Godain said quietly. "That should matter more than who your father is. I'm sorry for how I acted."

"It's no big deal, really," Rin said, a bit desperately. "I mean everyone does it, I should be used to it by now."

"I'd actually feel better if you just hit me or something," Godain said, staring at his hands. "I know I deserve it, please stop acting like I wasn't a complete moron yesterday."

Rin obligingly cuffed him lightly. "Better?"

Godain chuckled weakly. "Yeah."

Rin snorted. "Liar."

"Not everyone made an idiot of themselves," Godain said. "Aiko didn't. Mana told me Aiko bawled her out last night for listening to Shiku. You know she quit school over it?"

"I wish she hadn't," Rin said quietly. "It's not that big of a deal really. She didn't have to quit over me."

"Don't think of it like that," Godain insisted. "That the Order lets Shiku get away with acting like that, it says a lot about them and not anything good. But I'm not brave enough to just pack up and walk away in protest."

"Good!" Rin exclaimed. "'Cause I kinda like having friends here you know."

Godain nodded, "Yeah and next time I'm not being a good friend, you don't have to wait until I ask you to slap me up side the head, okay? Just do it, please."

Mana caught Rin on his way to Cram school and apologized as well. Then Mephisto escorted him to the Pages' class where Shiku gave him a very stiff apology, accompanied by numerous nervous glances at Mephisto who stood at Rin's shoulder for the whole of it, while twirling his umbrella and smiling toothily. When Professor Adachi pulled Rin aside after the Exwire's group class ended Rin began to wonder if everyone were possessed.

"I heard about Professor Shiku's recent actions," Adachi said with a sigh. "And after last year I felt it was incumbent upon me to try to convince you that not all of your teachers want you dead."

Rin looked startled. "Um, thanks."

"It's not much of an excuse I know, but the influences Professor Shiku was subjected to during her time as an Exwire continue to shape her prejudices," Adachi continued. "The True Cross Order is an institution, you realize. It shapes us and we shape it. Back when Shiku was a young Exwire there was a charismatic up-comer making waves in the True Cross, name of Egin. He was a bit of a fanatic and at that time he had the organization's ear."

Rin listened quietly.

"While Egin held sway the Order became increasingly suspicious of Exorcists with even a drop of demon blood," Adachi continued solemnly. "A number of Exorcists of demon descent simply quit when they saw which way the wind was blowing. Later even more were asked to leave. And in the final two years before Egin fell out of favor with the Order, several hundred part-demons were imprisoned as threats to Assiah; most of them were trained Exorcists; people with so little demon blood in them that it would have taken a genealogist to determine where it came from. It didn't stop them from being targeted. Gradually Egin's faction expanded their list of undesirables to include Tamers as well, although that was a more difficult sell, given how much we truly depend on Tamers. Afterwards no one wanted to confirm it, but while Egin was in a position of influence many felt that the Order's casualty-rates were influenced more by the beliefs of Egin's faction than by random chance."

"The Order got part-demons killed on purpose, even though they were Exorcists?" Rin asked with a shiver.

Adachi nodded. "It was a bad time. After Egin lost his hold on the Order we reevaluated our policies. In the wake of the Blue Night we were so desperate for trained Exorcists that the Grigori found itself compelled to grovel quite humbly before those who'd been imprisoned or driven away, begging them to come back and help us in our hour of desperation. To their credit and our shame, they answered our call. Over a third of those imprisoned resumed their duties within days of being released."

Rin smiled very slightly at hearing that.

Adachi's expression softened in response. "I will never question someone's loyalty on the basis of their birth ever again, that I promise you," he said. "But it was easier for me to recognize my mistakes than for others. I was trained under the regime the preceeded Egin's; Shiku's generation joined the Order at the height of the paranoia; they were indoctrinated in those beliefs. Even when the proof is right before your eyes it can be hard to give up the beliefs you were raised in."

"The Order is better now than it was," Adachi concluded. "With you and your friends as our next generation hopefully it will continue to improve."

Rin nodded, "We'll try," he said.

When he left he found Izumo and Bon waiting in the hall for him. "What did he want?" Izumo demanded.

"He told me he doesn't agree with what Shiku said," Rin replied.

"Good, I thought he was one of the reasonable teachers," Bon said. "Now we just have to find one rational enough to kick Shiratori out of the school."

"I might have gone through with it if it had been someone else," Rin said softly. "But it was Shiratori, I've known him forever and I've always hated the stuff he does. It wasn't Yukio or anyone in the Order this time, it was Shiratori and what he does is sick and horrible." Rin sighed. "I trust, trusted Yukio. If he said this was right I didn't want to believe differently. And then at that trial, when Angel cut off my foot and everyone just watched, it was like the whole world was saying it was an okay thing to do. But this time it was Shiratori Reiji, who I've known was just wrong since third grade."

"Yeah, well I'm not exactly feeling grateful to him," Bon replied.

"He could still hurt you," Izumo said.

Rin shook his head. "Not unless I let him. He couldn't touch me without a couple of friends to hold me down and a Hell King possessing him," Rin declared. "And that was before Angel started teaching me how to fight."

"Fucking tease," Shiratori muttered glaring at the empty cage. He hadn't managed to replace the hobgoblin Okumura had rescued yet and was craving something to vent his impulses on.

"I was going to see if you could make me scream."

"Oh, I could," Shiratori answered the echo in his head. "Make you scream 'til your throat bled." He shivered in pleasure at the images he was conjuring in his head.

"Then it hit me; I don't deserve it."

"You do, you deserve everything I could do. You've been asking for me all these years. Always pushing between me and my toys. You just wanted me to pay attention to you instead." Shiratori muttered. "And I will, I swear I will. You don't get to change your mind, not after all these years."

Shiratori's mouth twisted into a pout as he remembered Okumura's inhuman strength and all the fights he'd lost against the smaller boy.

"Take what's yours, you know how."

Shiratori started laughing, because he did. He knew exactly how to get Okumura right where he wanted him. He just needed a few things and the right moment. His eyes glowed red as he plotted.