Hello again my lovelies! Sorry, this was supposed to be up earlier but hey, I've been busy :( So thank you all for the reviews, got 10 for last chapter XD, you all got me very happy! Also, this is a long chapter and it's 2am now, and I'm getting up in 5 hours to get to work (see how I love you guys?) so I didn't really proof-read this chapter, so I apologize for any mistakes. Also, I will only have one foot note question so if you can answer it, it would be great! :D

Alright, now a shout-out! I rarely do this but this story got me swooning and fall in love in no-time so please, everyone who love Jane Austen-y stories and don't just read fanfic for lemons, just go an read I wish we were butterflies, by alicelightwoodbane. It is amazing and gorgeous and romantic and everything a Malec story should be :D Dripping love and deep feelings! It's perfect! Don't miss out ;)

Disclaimer : Don't own nothing... not even the City of Bones movie, which I just watched (wasn't there supposed to be a Malec kiss there, so pissseeeed off!) because if I did... there would have been so much more MALEC! who care about Clace? I DON'T! But Cassie does so... there you go :(

Chapter 16 : I Don't Come Cheap

They arrived at Luke's house in an even more awkward silence. The supposedly funny comment of Jace had turned sour when his ever dismissive boyfriend had finally been able to tell his parabatai to stop making up stories, that he was not 'dating' Magnus and that most of all, he wasn't gay. Though the word had barely escaped his lips. After that, Magnus's laughter had run dry abrubtly and he had stared hatefully at his lover who, of course, escaped his eyes. Even Jace, who never seemed to be taken aback by anything, looked almost as hurt as Magnus himself. This was ridiculous. The fact that Alec kept blurring the lines of both his relationships with the golden boy and the sexy warlock were getting on everybody's nerves. Magnus supposed that Jace wouldn't come back to him defending his parabatai's honor as he was more than aware now of who wanted to keep the relationship secret and who was somewhat 'using' the other. The pity glance he'd received from Jace earlier that day told him as much. But again, this didn't bring the shadowhunter up in his esteem, he hated pity. Nobody else knew better than Magnus how his relationship with Alec was sick and twisted. Nobody else knew how hurt he was, nobody but himself. And he was getting tired of it.

When they came up the pathway to Luke's house, they heard some ruckus going on inside, the demon stench outside was still lingering and it got Magnus almost gagging. The three men ran inside the house to find Clary perch on a coffee table with a knife in his hand, staring at an obviously confused werewolf girl. Although, the tanned girl also looked sicked, her cheeks flushed and her skin pale. She was probably his patient. He barely listened to Jace bickering to Clary about her inability to use a knife and he moved toward the girl. Simon, the mundane, told him she was getting worse but he didn't listen to him. He tried to move closer but there Simon was.

- "Get out of the way, mundane." He said in an angry voice, happy to vent on someone.

He removed his cloak by letting it drop behind him dramatically, he always loved first impression, and moved to stand in front of the girl, resting on the couch.

- "I take it you're my patient?" He said in a soft, soothing voice, as he saw the girl was getting unfocused, the poison running her down.

- "I'm Magnus Bane." He kept on, stretching his hands, welcoming the energy constantly buzzing in his body, to focus on his hands, blue sparks dancing between them. "I'm the warlock who's here to cure you. Didn't they tell you I was coming?"

The girl looked at him, dazed, well that was a nice change from his reluctant boyfriend who couldn't even look him up in the eyes, and she rambled something.

- "I know who you are, but... You look so... so... shiny." Magnus almost smiled but he didn't have the time to be flattered as he heard Alec snort and try to choke down his laugh by coughing. Offended, Magnus pretended that he didn't hear. There used to be someone who spent hours caressing his glittered skin with the same amazement as the werewolf girl showed at the moment. Everything comes to an end it seems.

He focused on his magic again and started to woven a magic curtain around the girl, enclosing both of them in his healing magic. He began working on the poison remnants racing through the exhausted body and barely followed the conversation going on around him. Of course, only Alec's voice shoke him from his concentration, god the boy would be the death of him, being so irresistible, but more important was the fact that he mentioned Luke's truck being parked in the driveway without Luke being around. This seemed odd.

- "I don't like this." He said, his voice subdued by the magic walls between them. "Not after a Drevak attack. They roam in packs." He muttered, going back to his job. They were shadowhunters, it was their job to run after demons, not his. He didn't need to be distracted again.

He didn't get much of the rest of the conversation between everyone else but he only got the fact that Alec would be the one taking care of his and werewolf girl's security. He was pleased and pissed at the same time. He didn't really feel like being almost-alone with his boyfriend at the moment but he loved that Alec was the one watching over him, silly romantic heart of his. This is why, when everyone else left, after an annoying roaster fight over Clary, that he stayed quiet and almost ignored the blue-eyed angel beside him. He was working, it's not like it was fully intended. But Alec, being a sucker for guilt-trip, couldn't leave it that way of course.

- "Magnus" His lover murmured. "I know this is not the best time to say it, and maybe you can't even focus on what I'm saying but..." He trailed down to finally loose his voice. After a few second, he whipered these words. "I'm sorry. I know I shouldn't say it as I keep doing the same mistake over and over again but... I really am... sorry, that is." His boyfriend muttered, unable to find his countenance.

Magnus kept working, being almost done as the poison hadn't spread much, thank to whoever removed the darts, and didn't answer the young shadowhunter until he was done, some minutes afterward. He didn't even turn around, just let his magic dissipated, going back to a slight buzz inside of him, and whispered harshly to his lover.

- "As you said, you keep doing it over and over again, Alec. My patience is running low. I said I would wait for you to be ready but... when you simply deny my existence in your life, it has a much stronger connotation to it." The warlock finally turned around, glancing at his boyfriend who was now staring at his boots, yet again, blush of shame decorating his cheeks. "Waiting for you to accept yourself and then share it with your family is just fine. But I never accepted you to walk all over me and just reject altogether who am I as you won't allow others to know who you are either, even when they do already." Alec looked up at him, eyes shining with tears, as Magnus guessed, and he felt somewhat pity and tried to explain himself. "Alec, I spent a lot of years building myself a reputation, I know who I am, what I can do and what I want. People actually seek my advice and my work, even my bed, and believe me, I don't come cheap. But you, with all your sneakiness and refusal to acknowledge me, you make me feel like a dime whore. And to be honest, I'm not sure I'll be able to handle it much longer." Magnus finished, melting a bit when Alec brows furrowed and his head shook in denial when he mentioned feeling like a whore. Well, maybe the boy didn't intend it this way but it sure looked that way.

He didn't want to speak any longer and Alec seemed somewhat turned mute so the warlock, after mumbling to Alec to bring the girl in one of the room, moved outside, waiting on the porch for the kids to come back. He knew something had gone wrong and he was sure that his work for the night wasn't done. His personal conflicts would have to wait.

Alec's pov

Alec did as Magnus asked and moved the girl to one of the bedroom, the one who looked like Luke's one. He was dazed, confused and most of all, in a complete whirlwind of self-hatred. He loved the warlock with all his heart and the glittery man had just told him that he felt like a prostitute in his company. He had been shook deeply with those words but at the same time, he knew these words rang of truth. How else could it be when Alec couldn't even admit to Jace what he already knew? To be honest, he didn't even understand it himself. He didn't love Jace but he was terrified to come out to him or to his family, to accept that Magnus was now the one he loved. He was always caught in this stupid denial, unable to find the courage to just be himself. He tried to gather it but when the moment happened, he just panicked and refused it altogether. Would he loose his beautiful boyfriend over his lack of confidence? It very seemed so. But he couldn't help it.

Alec didn't have long to dwell on his feelings as soon enough, everyone came back with a wounded Luke. Clary and Simon moved him to the sofa and Alec once again watched his boyfriend cure another of his related acquaintance or rather Clary's one but there was no denying that Magnus was here for him. Another thing that he could blame himself for. The warlock would exhaust himself simply because it would help or please his boyfriend. He despised it. He didn't have a chance to move toward his lover though, to be close to him as he wished, before Jace took a hold of his arm and drag him aside the window, muttering feverishly about some rune Clary had drawn on her arm and that had repulsed some of the demons. He babbled on, head close to his parabatai so nobody would hear his theories about it, and Alec didn't feel a thing. So what if Clary could create new runes, didn't he see how priceless Magnus's presence was for all of them? And nobody seemed to care. He hadn't thought much of it until his lover had drawn the portrait for him. And now it was so obvious. He caught back to Jace's words when he moved the conversation to their previous argument.

- "You know you're being a total dick at the moment Alec?" Jace said and Alec looked at him confused. "You're lying to my face and I don't even know why. And let's not even mention how your behavior affect Magnus. I don't understand you Alec, why is it so hard for you to confirm what is obvious to everyone?" His parabatai finished.

Alec looked at him questionningly and was about to ask what he meant by everyone but was saved by Clary exclamation, saying that Luke would be alright. He felt annoyed for a moment, wishing to tell her that 'of course he would be alright, my boyfriend is a High Warlock, what do you expect?' but contained himself and moved closer, as everyone, to watch his lover sank down a chair, exhaustion written over his features. Alec felt his heart pinch in guilt. Although, yet again, Jace had cornered him and was whispering in his ear, taking away his focus from his lover.

- "Just get a grip Alec, nobody care if you're gay or if you're dating a warlock. I know you're afraid but you should be able to trust us." Alec's eyes moved to Jace, as he heard the hurt undercurrent in his parabatai's voice, surprised he could even bring the golden boy to feel emotions over his own actions. "You do trust me Alec, don't you?" Jace whispered but then his attention was caught by Magnus, now speaking in an angry voice.

When he heard what his lover said, Alec could have been swallowed by his utter shame. They deserved it, all of them. He only hoped that he would have a chance to make it up to his boyfriend.

He didn't know how wrong he was.

Magnus's pov

Magnus sank into the nearest seat available, the armrest of a really uncomfortable chair. He tried to drown out Clary's and Simon's annoying voices. He was exhausted, depressed and mad. Right now, he just wanted to cuddle with Alec and forget about the nightmarish day and now the awful night. He had just healed Luke, right after Maia and he would have appreciated some attention but of course, Alec had been busy chitty chatting with his beloved parabatai. He couldn't really get over his bitterness toward his boyfriend but he was weak and so needy. He just wished to be closed to his lover again and leave all their doubts and frustrations behind. But at the same time, he despised himself for what he had become. It hadn't been so obvious before but now, sitting in a room full of shadowhunters and random people, it hit him hard in the face. He had slowly taken position as the shadowhunters's lapdog warlock... and all because he was hopelessly in love with his blue-eyed angel who couldn't spare him a glance at the moment. Simon spoke again, inquiring tirelessly about Luke's health and he couldn't help himself, he roughly told him that he knew how to do his job, leaving him a clear undercurrent message of « back-off ».

Again, his eyes helplessly moved to seek his lover but yet again, he didn't seem to care of Magnus's well-being. No, he was busy listening to Jace whispering in his ear. He stiffened, jealousy burning in his stomach. The next words left his mouth without even thinking about it, trying to lash out his hurt in any way possible. It just ended falling on innocent by-standard. But at the moment, he didn't care.

- "Which reminds me" Magnus went on, catching on his display of status toward Simon, voice stiff and angry. "That I'm not exactly sure what it is you think you're doing, calling on me every time one of you has so much as an ingrown toenail that needs clipping. As High Warlock, my time is valuable. There are plenty of lesser warlocks who'd be happy to do a job for you at a greatly reduced rate."

Magnus wasn't surprised to hear Clary yell out his indignation, saying that Luke was his friend although he barely knew the man. He only knew that they had agreed against Jocelyn, when she wished to remove the girl's memory but it was about it. He had taken the job reluctantly, tweaking it, and barely saw Luke afterward. He was fond of the girl but, one thing sure, she absolutely had no common sense and was rather selfish. She would expect from everyone to give her anything she needed just because she asked for it.

- "Not a friend of mine." He answered Clary but his gaze was fixed on Alec, who was blushing furiously and was avoiding his eyes. So much for retribution... his boyfriend didn't seem so moved by it all. He picked one of his thin blue cigarette from his pocket shirt, bringing it to his lips. And to say he had stopped smoking centuries ago."I met him only on the few occasions when your mother brought him along when your memory spells were being refreshed." He moved his hand in front of the cigarette, lighting it with a little show of multicolored flames. They needed to know who they were dealing with and anything would do so they would get it. Alec was still staring at his shoes, looking rather ashamed. Good. Now the final hit. "Did you think I was helping you out of the goodness of my heart? Or am I just the only warlock you happen to know?" He finished, anger, jealousy and hurt feistering inside his heart.

He should've known Jace would come to battle. And even if he felt relieved someone actually acknowledge his relationship, he still got undeniably angry with the golden shadowhunter, who allowed himself to spell out something that Alec obviously wanted to keep quiet.

- "No" He said harshly. "But you are the only warlock we know who happens to be dating a friend of ours."

Magnus was actually surprised that Jace had enough diplomacy to withdraw his parabatai's name out of the sentence. It didn't excuse his behaviour though. Everybody stared at Jace but of course, Alec couldn't contain himself.

- "Why would you say something like that?" His lover said, voice shaking and hurt, as he couldn't believe Jace would out him like that. Well, Magnus was also, oddly, mildly shocked.

Jace looked puzzled. Maybe he had a hard time understanding why Alec had come up front like that... or simply why he had felt the need to speak when obviously, his parabatai had never mentioned him. Maybe Jace wished, just like Magnus, that Alec would finally admit out loud what they both knew. That's why Jace's next words did make total sense to the warlock.

- "Something like what?" The golden shadowhunter said, his words hanging in the air.

Magnus's heart was beating wildly, hoping, wishing, praying, that this would be it but...

- " That I'm dating – that we're – it's not true." His boyfriend said, voice shaking and unstable, ripping again the pieces of his heart. How could it be so hard? Although, he almost admitted to everyone that he was gay. Of course Jace caught on that quickly.

- "I didn't say he was dating you" Jace said, voice steady and holding Alec's eyes, merciless. "but funny that you knew just what I meant, isn't it?" The golden boy finished, a final ring to his voice.

Magnus couldn't have hated and appreciated Jace more than at this moment. He was right, Alec was being ridiculous denying what was going on. But he knew Alec was panicking, struggled and scared. He wished to comfort him but all his pity ran dry with his boyfriend's next words.

- "We're not dating." His blue-eyed beauty said again. Magnus couldn't grasp how his lover's voice could sound so convinced while lying blatantly. He usually was so bad at it. His anger and frustration built up awfully and he walked toward a line he had promised Alec he would not cross. The shadowhunter wanted to deny him again, so be it.

- "Oh?" Magnus said, in a treacherously innocent voice. "So you're just that friendly with everybody, is that it?" He added, somewhat twisting around his comment about feeling like a whore of earlier. Surely his lover would catch that. That was bound to make him understand how he felt at the moment.

Alec looked about to puke, cold sweat covering his forehead. It didn't stop him to rely on Magnus for help, blue eyes darting to the glittery man, even if he was the one being hurt in the process. His lover definitely was breaking him little by little.

- "Magnus" Alec said, imploring in a whining tone to save him from the situation, to help him deny that they were boyfriend. How cruel could he get?

Magnus crossed his arms, eyes slitted dangerously, leaning back in silence. He would not deny himself. Alec was doing a good enough job with that. He melted a bit at Alec's request for help, as he always did, but this was beyond. He would never agree to it. Then, he would really be a whore. Alec turned helplessly to Jace.

- "You don't –" Alec started, almost choking. "I mean, you couldn't possibly think -" He finished lamely, unable to keep on with the act.

Jace was shaking his head, puzzled. If, at the beginning, he had been angry with Alec's denying, now his parabatai's constant act was more than confusing, he just didn't get it. It had been what, three times already? What could be so wrong with it all? Magnus could just read all the questions on Jace's face and he really wished he could just yell to the blond shadowhunter that it was all his fault. 'HE LOVES YOU! And he can't handle you thinking he wouldn't be free anymore for his little sick fantasy about you.' He was just so angry with everything going on at the moment.

- "What I don't get is you going to all these lenghts to hide your relationship with Magnus from me when it's not as if I would mind if you did tell me about it." Jace finished.

Magnus could almost hear the nail being hit down his lover's heart. Alec's face became gray, showing just how much he still cared for Jace and showing Magnus how meaningless he was. Really, who had he been joking? Alec would never love him... He preferred to be hooked on someone who just told him, rather blatantly, that he would never care for him the way he wished him to be. When would the blue eyed shadowhunter would just move on and see him here waiting for him? The warlock was brokenhearted.

Jace turned toward him, trying to gain his help.

- "Help me convince him," Jace said "that I really don't care." He finished, being cruel without knowing it.

The warlock glanced briefly toward his lover, saw him there pinned by his misery and couldn't add to it.

- "Oh," he said quietly "I think he believes you about that." Magnus said, hoping that Jace would get the hint and leave it already. There wasn't anything else to say or do. Alec knew how he wanted it to be. Neither of them had a say in it.

- "Then I don't..." Jace muttered, still grasping for understanding. Magnus had a very hard time not answering the shadowhunter. He very much wished to align the blond's thought and help him see the whole truth of it but... he couldn't do that.

Clary interrupted the whole ordeal, surprising Magnus but again, not really, Alec was nothing but obvious in his affections for whoever was a little observant. He was about to retreat in a mute sulking when Luke awoke, funnily interrupting the conversation.

The werewolf explained to Clary what he remembered of his attack, as she requested, and ended inquiring what the ruckus had been about, just as any good parent would do. In a very weird unison, everyone answered.

- "Nothing."

Alec's pov

Everybody quickly dispersed after Luke woke up, as children who had been acting badly. Clary left to pick up some linens for his 'father', Simon moved away toward the kitchen and Jace... Jace followed Clary quickly. Alec still felt a bit stung by his parabatai's declaration that he obviously wouldn't care about him being with someone else. His cheeks flamed in shame. It wasn't that he still longed after the golden shadowhunter, it was rather the long years he had spent in useless suffering, trying to nurture a hope that never had any chance to bloom. He was pathetic. Most of all, he had failed again in his attempt to be himself. And the core of his being at the moment was that he loved Magnus Bane.

He risked a glance toward Magnus. His Magnus. And almost combusted in hatred. His lover was so remotely distant, closed-off, eyes downcast and avoiding everyone. He had done that. He was the reason his boyfriend was so hurt. What was wrong with him? He knew it would be time for him to go back to the Institute, report the attack and what had been going on but he needed to do something first. He needed to fix his mess... if he could.

He walked toward the entrance, ready to leave, but stopped for a few second aside Magnus, looking at the warlock. It didn't take long that his boyfriend glanced up at him, inquiring. Alec moved his head to the side, indicating that he wished to talk outside with his lover. Magnus raised his eyebrow, ever a sexy gesture, even if his cat's eyes were angry.

Alec walked outside, on the front porch, somewhat confident that Magnus would follow. He waited what felt like a long time, although it couldn't have been more than minutes. The door closed behind him, letting him know of Magnus's presence. Alec didn't turn around yet, he couldn't face the justified wrath in his boyfriend's eyes.

- "I don't know what to say, Magnus." He started, voice small and bashful. "I doubt you want me to say I'm sorry again. But I am." Alec said hesitantly. He breathed in, trying to gather his courage. "Will you ever forgive me?" He finished, afraid of being rejected, of losing his Magnus, the man he loved.

The silence stretched between them, heavy and hard to bear. Unable to take it anymore, Alec turned around, glancing up at his lover. Magnus had his arms crossed on his chest, eyes cold and unhappy. It seemed as the warlock had only waited for Alec to look at him and he spoke right away.

- "Will you come home with me?" Magnus whispered, a strained current underneath it all.

Alec gaped, very well aware of what his lover asked of him but...

- "Jace..." Is all Alec had the time to say.

Magnus turned around abruptly, cutting what he was saying and spitted over his shoulder, in a similar fashion to his horrible nightmare, giving Alec chills down his spine, those final words.

- "I think we should stop seeing each other for a while Alexander. You need to figure out what you want. I won't play second place forever. I think I deserve better. And you do too... but I can't fight for you, darling." The warlock finished, in a sad and empty voice.

Alec couldn't speak, choken by his urge to cry, but it was too late already.

Magnus was gone, the door shutting softly behind him.

Hope you liked that :) Let me know! So question!

1- We are about to have the fearless rune chapter but! If you remember... Alec just sort of vanish after Luke woke up (which explain the talk with Magnus outside in this chapter) but then, on the next day, you see Jace saying he picked him up on the porch, wandering and looking depressed... Anyone wants to know about Alec's night? What happened there? It will maybe delay the fearless chapter and I'm very curious about this part but... if you guys aren't, I can just skip it. Please let me know!