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The Commitment

Chapter 8

Discovering Rick Rodgers

Beckett marched into the bullpen of the twelfth precinct's homicide squad. Her two principal team members, Esposito and Ryan were at their desks. She caught their eyes and headed to the break room. They followed.

"Boss," Ryan said, "is Castle all right?" Ryan was a top-notch investigator and one of the chief reasons for that was because of his ability to read people interpreted through his caring heart. Although they complimented each other well, his partner, Esposito was more of a get the job done kind of guy. Espo didn't like to get mired down in the emotions of the case, but this one affected Castle. She knew the boys liked him and cared about him despite the constant teasing.

"Yeah, he looked bad at the scene. Do you think he should be alone?" Espo added. Kate could see and hear their concern.

"He'll be fine. He was still in shock, but I got his statement, he didn't want to wait. And his daughter is there now. Apparently she knew Susannah as well, although I'm not sure how."

"Maybe he had her over for dinner." Ryan suggested.

Esposito's eyes lit up, having just thought of something. He elaborated. "Did Castle have a relationship with her? Cause if he did, it kind of changes how we approach this."

"No, he assured me that it was platonic and not a close friendship at that. He basically worked for her, occasionally. He wasn't even sure if she was married or in a relationship or not."

"What about the meeting with the lawyer?"

"Her program had been targeted for termination, basically attacked, but she wasn't sure where it was coming from. She was, with Castle's help, looking into alternate ways to keep the program running. Any vid from the Bowman Building?"

"Nah, it's pretty old school. They've got a reception desk with a dude that would make me question my need to get in the building." He consulted his notes, "guard's name is Cedric Dick." Espo explained while Ryan stretched his hands over his head intimating that the guy was indeed big.

"Seriously?" She asked, barely suppressing a smirk. Castle would have had a field day with his name, but then again she thought he probably already knew his name and many other details about him. Castle always asked questions and talked to people.

"Yeah, his mom must not have liked him. He told me that's why he took up body building." He shook his head.

Ryan continued their report. "Anyway, they had a log. Visitors need to sign in, but not out. He hadn't noticed anyone loitering today except Castle, who was waiting for our vic. He is well acquainted with Castle, seeing how his attorney's office is in the building. He has seen him many times before. He corroborated Jose, the pizza delivery guy's alibi. Pizza was delivered to a construction firm on the fifth floor."

"Castle's attorney was pretty close mouthed when we first got there. He took a call and then was much more cooperative."

Ryan interrupted. "We're pretty sure it was Castle giving him permission to talk to us."

"Yeah, he's helping even when he's not around," Espo said as he held out his fingers for Ryan, who obliged by tapping them with his own finger tips. Feeding the birds was a ritual Castle taught the boys to celebrate little victories, but mostly it was about the satisfaction of being in sync with each other.

"Anyway, he just said that they were looking for alternatives to public ed for her program and what the legal ramifications and options would be. Someone had been spreading rumors and false information about her and her methods."

"Basically a smear campaign to discredit her." Espo said as he handed her the letter in an evidence bag from the school district.

"Who would do that? It's a public school program. What would anyone gain by discrediting her?"

"Michael Roth, Castle's attorney, said they didn't know where it was coming from, but it was pretty serious. The school board had been persuaded, one way or the other, that she was doing more harm than good for the kids."

"That's crazy, we all saw how she worked with the kids. Was there an investigation?"

They looked at each other. "I don't think so. Roth didn't think so either."

"Okay, I'll see if Castle knows any other details about that." She looked at her watch. "First thing tomorrow, get over to PS 86 and talk to the administration and her colleagues. See who she was friendly with. Also, see if you can shake anything out about her personal life."

"Got it, boss," Ryan said as Espo nodded.

"Good night, guys," she said and they grabbed their jackets and headed toward the elevator.

Kate turned her attention to the murder board. The woman whose photo was hanging in the center of the board was in her precinct today, visiting her squad. She shook her head as she remembered Castle's pained expression at the loss of her life. She picked up the dry erase marker and started listing what they knew.

Two hours later, she had the timeline, the leads, possible people of interest and a budding headache. She could swear she smelled Chinese food. Her stomach rumbled and she looked at her watch. Seven forty-five. It had been a long day. She turned back toward her desk and found a pair of chopsticks by her computer keyboard. She looked around the nearly deserted bullpen and spied him in the conference room.

She crept to the door and leaned against the jamb. He looked up from his phone and he greeted her with a smile.

"How long have you been here?" She asked waving the chopsticks around.

"Only about twenty minutes. You can get really engrossed when you're concentrating."

She shook her head. "I can't believe I didn't see or hear you. I'm supposed to be observant."

He wiggled his eyebrows as he unpacked the food. "Maybe I invoked my power of invisibility. Oo, for all you know I could be a ninja. Or maybe I was deposited here after being abducted by aliens with a thing for Chinese food."

She rolled her eyes and sighed, but secretly she was glad he seemed to be recovered. She opened several of the containers looking for her Shrimp Mei Fun. He never forgot it. She found it right after the Pork Lo Mein. She dug her chopsticks into the container and took a bite. It was satisfying on so many levels. She hadn't realized just how hungry she was. "Thanks for the food, Castle. How did you know I would still be here?"

He gave her a skeptical look. "Seriously?"

"Yeah, okay, point taken." They ate in companionable silence for a few moments. "Did you talk to Alexis?" She asked tentatively

"Yeah, she was pretty upset. Alexis and mother didn't know that I volunteered with Susannah." Beckett's eyebrow shot up inquisitively. He tilted his head and explained. "It was something I wanted to keep to myself, you know?" She didn't know actually. She believed that he sought and craved as much attention as possible. The proverbial publicity hound. He continued, "Alexis knew her through an older slash younger student mentoring program. She mentored Evie. You know the shy girl with the impossibly huge brown eyes, who held my hand this morning?"

Beckett closed her eyes to try to remember the girl. "Um, yes," she said triumphantly. "She's a cutie."

Castle grinned. "Yeah, she is. Worst case of puppy dog eyes I've ever seen." He inclined his head over his shoulder toward the murder board. "Anything new?"

"Not tonight. The boys couldn't get to the school today, so I sent them home. They're going to look into her colleagues and personal life."

"I'm sorry I couldn't be more help." He said casting his eyes downward.

"Look, Castle, I know it's frustrating, but we'll get it solved. I promise." She looked directly into his eyes as she swore. He still had grief in his eyes, but there was a flicker of another emotion: one that he quickly squelched. She had gotten a glimpse of it, though. She leaned forward across the table separating them and touched his arm. "Are you okay?" She asked tenderly.

He covered her hand with his. At his touch, Kate almost jumped back. His hand was incredibly warm and soft, but not girlish. He had slight callouses on the pads of his manicured fingers. Kate likened them to a musician's, only Richard Castle's instrument was his computer keyboard. She tried to relax and enjoy the warmth and tingle she felt under his caress. She drew in a shaky breath. Sensing her trepidation he removed his hand from hers. She let her contact with his arm linger for a few more quickened heartbeats. She looked up and he was watching her with what she had come to recognize as his studying face. He once referred to that steadfast appraisal of her as 'learning the ways of Beckett'. Sometimes it was creepy and unsettling, but tonight it was comforting for both of them.

Kate looked away feeling a little embarrassed and self-conscious. She stood up and started to clear the containers.

"Kate…" He began. She closed her eyes because he had used her first name. He almost never did that. She ignored him and took the leftovers to the break room refrigerator. When she turned around, he was right behind her.

"Castle?" She asked quietly and she tried hard not to look him in the eyes, because she knew she would be destroyed when she did, but her gaze was drawn there just like a moth to the flame. He looked at her so tenderly, so full of emotions that previously she thought were unheard of on the Rick Castle scale of emotional reaction. She could not stop herself. Before her mind could take control, her arms were hugging him. Detective Kate Beckett did not hug people, hardly ever. Maybe her dad and Lanie occasionally, or Aunt Theresa, under protest, but that was it. There was just something in those eyes of his that cried out to her. He was hurting and she wanted, no, she needed to comfort him. She held him as he inhaled a stuttering breath. That was one of the remarkable things she had learned about Castle. He could let his macho ego slide and let his vulnerabilities show. Not often, matter of fact, this was the second time she had seen him so exposed. She felt herself stiffen as her mind took back the control over her body as it admonished her traitorous arms. He felt it too, and he ended the embrace.

He smiled and she braced herself for whatever insensitive, libidinous comment was to come next. He said quietly, "Thanks, I think I needed that." He projected genuine sincerity.

Kate had not been nonplussed for a very long while, but she was and she didn't know how she should react. So she ignored it. "Oh, um, you're welcome. Um, thanks for the food."

"My pleasure, Detective." He walked her out to her desk and glanced at his watch. "Wow, do you know it's nine-thirty already?"

She confirmed the time on her father's watch and nodded as she followed him to the bullpen.

"Shall I walk you out?" He asked holding up her coat.

"Actually Castle, I wanted to finish up a couple of things here," she lied. She did want him to walk her out, but she did not trust herself. He had been so different tonight, so appealing, actually all day, more than she had ever seen him. She felt her resolve soften toward him, but there were too many facts that couldn't be ignored. Regardless of whatever character anomalies she witnessed today, she could not risk her heart to Richard Castle.

He visibly deflated at her rejection, but rallied and brightened immediately. He put her coat back on the chair it was draped over and turned to her. "Well then, until tomorrow Detective Beckett." He said in his usual affable voice but tonight it sounded subtly forced. He bowed imperceptibly and then he headed toward the elevator.

"Goodnight Castle." She called after him and he acknowledged her by locking his eyes on hers until the elevator doors closed. "Until tomorrow, Rick." She added after he was gone.

"Good morning Detective." He looked better rested than he had the night before. He placed the to-go cup of coffee on her desk and sat in his chair beside her desk. She silently reached for the coffee and closed her eyes as she took the first sip of the morning. Heaven in a cardboard cup. He knew how she liked it. He observed her, just like he always did, just like she knew he was doing now. She opened her eyes to the intense sapphire gaze.

"I thought we talked about this, Castle."

"What?"

"You're staring at me. It's creepy."

He shook his head and screwed up his mouth. "No. This is not staring."

"Really? Because it sure appeared that you were," she changed her tone to recite, as if she were giving a report, "staring: looking fixedly or vacantly at someone or something with one's eyes wide open."

He sipped his own coffee. When he moved the cup from his lips he smirked and narrowed his eyes. "Nice definition, Webster. No, I was analyzing," and he mimicked her as he continued in a monotonous voice, "analyzing: to examine methodically and in detail the constitution or structure of something, or someone, typically for purposes of explanation and interpretation."

"Very amusing," she said, exasperated.

"Writer," he countered raising an eyebrow.

She raised her hands in surrender. "Truce?"

"Never a war, Detective," he answered. "Boys back from 86 yet?"

"No. They're meeting with the principal," she consulted her notes, "a Clifton Wilkins and Susannah's department head, um, Elena Barber. Do you know of anyone else they should interview?"

"The custodian, Charlie Phillips. He knows everything about everyone at that school. Nice guy, too. There's also Nick Byrd. Susannah was promoted over him for the position she had. He confronted her outside of the classroom when I was there once. I didn't catch the content, but I did hear the tone and it was not friendly. When she returned to the classroom, I asked if she was alright, but Susannah didn't elaborate."

"How long ago was that?"

"Mm, maybe three months ago."

She picked up her phone and began texting Castle's information to Ryan and Esposito. Her phone buzzed a few minutes later with a "got it" response. Castle had also picked up his phone, she noted. Playing the latest Angry Birds, Castle?"

"Uh, no," he answered distractedly, "I, um…" He sighed and shut off his phone. "Sorry, just working on some details."

"All right," she said as she stood up and crossed to the board. What do we know?"

They went over what they knew. During the discussions, Castle was able to provide small details he didn't even recognize as potentially important like; he had gone in to find a substitute teacher who happened to be a fan a few weeks ago. Susannah had never called in sick before. When she returned, he asked how she was, she was momentarily confused, but covered. He knew she lied about her illness, but figured it wasn't any of his business, so he let it drop. The fact that she didn't let him infuse the program with money, she said learning to make the best with what you've got, taught the kids to accept limitations, which they would face their whole lives.

He sat down on his chair instead of leaning against her desk with her. She could see the weight of their theorizing about someone he cared for settle around his shoulders. He kept his eyes on his clasped hands as he quietly continued, "She said that by my coming there and reading, the kids might understand that even though someone was famous, people were people, no different. Whether they had a label or status, everyone was just people."

Beckett regarded him for a moment. He had been behaving so very different. She had chalked it up to grief, but she was having a hard time dismissing the affected emotions. She was conflicted about the evidence he was presenting and everything she knew about him. "Why did she call you Rodgers?"

Castle was startled by the question and ran a hand through his hair. He tilted his head and a small smile played on his lips, like he was about to share a secret. "I asked her that, too. She said that she had only met Richard Castle once, the first time, and," he hesitated, but at Kate's gentle encouragement he finished, " well, she said that the man that showed up to read was the real Rick Rodgers, so that's how she would address me." He again looked down at the floor. It embarrassed him to feel so exposed. He didn't let people see the real him very often and when he did, he usually had gotten hurt. There were only a handful of people who knew Rick Rodgers. It was much easier to play the unconcerned, uncaring personality. People didn't expect too much from him then. When it came time and he discovered, as he inevitably did, that whomever he had befriended was using him for their selfish purposes, it hurt less if he wasn't him.

Beckett also sat down in her chair, her mind reeling. He just laid himself bare and like someone staring at the sun without eye protection, she looked away. Had everything she had ever determined about him untrue? She assessed him. His shoulders were slumped, head bowed. He looked smaller somehow. More approachable, more real. She reached across the corner of her desk and laid her hand on his forearm. He looked at her hand and then up into her eyes. "I kind of like Rick Rodgers. It's nice to meet you."