Author's notes: Thank you as always for your wonderful reviews and for the follows and favs. We don't quite make it to the operating theatre today, but I hope you like it.
Patrick's insisting that Teresa goes home to sleep. He says she needs to be well rested so she can look after him afterwards. Teresa argues that she wouldn't be able to sleep because of worrying about the operation. He threatens to have her thrown out and she promises to go home and sleep if he comes through the surgery well but she isn't going to leave him tonight. He moves over and she climbs in to bed with him. She rests her head on his shoulder and he wraps his arm around her, they clasp hands across his chest. He murmurs in to her hair.
"A much better idea."
They lay silently for a few minutes, each one stamping the sensations of being close to one another on their memories. Teresa remembers the evening in Yosemite when he stood before her stripped to his boxer shorts, showing her his scars, she remembers tracing one of the scars on his chest with her finger, the one closest to his heart. Red John had cut him open and then cauterised it closed and others, while Patrick was conscious! She can only imagine the pain…He'd stood before her ashamed of those scars and the others from Red John's assault on his body and his sanity She'd done her best to convince him otherwise, told him he should be proud. She wants the chance to trace that scar again, to kiss it and to kiss every single one of them, to show him that she loves him, every part of him.
"Patrick."
"Yes?"
"Promise you won't interrupt."
"That sounds ominous."
Teresa can hear the concern in his voice. She squeezes his hand to reassure him.
"Promise?"
"I promise."
"I love you Patrick. I don't think there's anything I don't love, even your irritating qualities, but that doesn't mean that you shouldn't work on bring that down. I love your intelligence that lights you from within. I love the gleam you get when you've solved the mystery and have a plan, it fills me with excitement and dread. You love more fiercely than anyone I ever met. You showed that with your family. You're not perfect and you will make mistakes, as will I, we will argue, fall out, and maybe even hurt each other, but I know that you will still love me. I know I can trust in that love. I know that you are strong. I know that I can place my troubles and concerns with you and you can help me carry them. I trust in your loyalty, I know that devastating smile will only be for me, that your incredible kisses will only be for me, that your delicate and sensitive touch will only be for me.
Her voice chokes with emotion.
"If tonight is all we have left, I want you to know that."
She feels his lips against her hair.
"Shhhh. Teresa, I never expected to love again, I never expected to live beyond Red John, in fact I hoped that I wouldn't because once he was gone my life would be empty. You changed all that. You offered me a friendship that was unconditional. You supported me when you shouldn't have, you lied for me when you shouldn't have, you risked your job, you even took me back. I didn't deserve any of that but you gave it and you did it all hoping that you would save me from myself. And you did. You pulled me from the brink of insanity, you were the reason I could see a life after Red John, I was blinkered and it took a long time for me to see clearly, to see how much I love you and how much I want you in my life. Look at me Teresa."
She leans back and turns her head and looks in to his eyes.
"We are not just going to have tonight. We will have tomorrow and the day after and the day after that. We're going to grow old together, hopefully there will be children, and grandchildren. I will be fighting with every fibre of my being to give us that."
Teresa inches herself up the bed and Patrick leans in to meet her and they kiss. When they pull away he rests his forehead on hers.
"I know this will be more difficult for you, I get to sleep through it all. I know that I can't stop you from worrying, but hold on to those words. Believe in them."
She nods her head. His voice is barely a whisper:
"Promise me."
She smiles at hearing the echo of her own words.
"I promise."
There's a knock on the door and then it opens and Doctor Polly walks in, Teresa sits up on the bed.
"I just wanted to see how you were, if you had any questions."
They both shake their heads and Patrick speaks:
"Thanks doc. We've had the required visitors that have explained the procedure in rather more detail than I would've liked and answered all their questions."
"Good. Now you need to get to sleep."
She pulls out a needle and a bottle of medicine from her pocket.
"I ordered some extra medication to help you sleep, I know it's an anxious time for you both."
"Can I refuse?"
"Why."
A twinkle appears in his eyes.
"I was enjoying myself."
"You'll have plenty of time for that when you're well. Now you need to be rested."
Patrick looks at Teresa and winks.
"See I told you."
Teresa can't decide whether to hit him or kill him. Doctor Polly helps her along.
"Go ahead hit him, he deserves it."
"Hey I'm a seriously ill patient."
Doctor Polly has moved to his IV and is drawing the medicine into the needle.
"Yes exactly, and you need your rest."
She adds the medicine to the bag hanging from his stand and smile triumphantly at him.
"Now sleep well and I will see you early in the morning."
She turns to Teresa.
"Good night. And don't worry, he's in good hands."
"I can see that."
Doctor Polly closes the door behind them and Teresa's settles down on his shoulder once more and within a minute his grip around her loosens and his breathing deepens. It takes another hour before Teresa finally falls asleep.