YOU WOULDN'T LIKE ME
Chapter 22
I'm sorry guys, I know it's been a long while but I promise to update more often from now on...Enjoy and review :-)
Tegan POV
I slowly turn around to leave Lisa alone at the pier. My heart aches as I get further away from her but I can't help but feel excited to go see Lindsey again. I look back one last time to see her beautiful figure staring out at the ocean. Guilt fills my body; there's a conflict inside me fighting if I should go or stay but I know in the end I'll be back in Lindsey's arms. No matter what I do, no matter how many times I try to make myself believe that Lisa is the one I need, I just can't let go of Lindsey.
"I'm sorry Lisa" I whisper to myself as I turn away from the pier and make my way back to the bus. I can't think straight as I wander the dark streets of LA. My mind is filled with memories and beliefs I'm willing to leave behind to be with Lindsey.
Tears roll from my eyes as I think of how badly I treat Lisa. She's been here when I was feeling down; when I was at my lowest point she picked me up and turned my life around. She made me better, and I'm thanking her by letting her down and leaving her alone to suffer on a cold pier.
I feel shame and relief run through my body as I approach the bus. I reach for the handle and open the door to be met by a few familiar faces. Ted, Emy, Sara and Lindsey all sit on the couch. Lindsey sobs hysterically while Emy tries to calm her.
"Lindsey" She lifts her head by the sound of her name being said.
"Tegan" She jumps off the couch and runs directly into my open arms.
"I'm so sorry Tegan. For everything. I fucked up your life..." She says through sobs.
"I told you I forgave you a long time ago" I try to soothe her.
"You tried to kill yourself, Sara told me" She buries her face into my neck and continues crying.
"Ted, Sara how about some coffee?" Emy asks as she stands up and approaches the exit. Ted and Sara follow suit. I mouth a 'thank you' to Emy as she closes the door. Finally alone I sit Lindsey down on the couch and get her a bottle of water from the fridge. I place it in front of her trembling body and sit down next to her.
"It was just a phase, Linds...I'm over it" I whisper trying to control my tears.
"Tegan...I put you in this situation. How come you can look me in the eye?"
"To be honest...I don't know Linds" I pull her closer to me. "but I know that it was stupid of me and that I am so happy that you came back to me"
"I came two years too late." She leans her head against me shoulder.
"I was scared I would never see you again." I take her hand and interlock our fingers.
Lindsey POV
"Can you tell me a little about him?" Tegan says after a long silence.
"About who?" I question.
"Your son" My heart stops beating. I turn my head to look her in the eyes.
"Are you sure?"
"Yes" She answers with a smile.
"His name is Dan, he's 13 months old and he..." I can't think of one thing to describe him.
"Linds?"
"I don't really know him...my sister takes care of him. She buys him clothes, she gives him shelter...I see him once a week...god I'm a terrible mother." I bury myself deeper into Tegan's arms.
"It's okay...don't cry love" She whispers in my ear.
"I will change I promise...from now on I'll be the mother I should have been from the beginning." I look deep into her eyes. "Tomorrow I'll go to my sister and bring him home."
"Can I...maybe come with you?"
"I hoped you'd ask that" I smile and lean in for a kiss. Her lips are so soft. How could I survive so long without their touch?
"God I've missed this" She says out of breath.
"I know what you mean" I say with a sleepy voice.
"Maybe you should go home and get some rest." She tells me. I nod and get up. I make my way outside to my car, Tegan follows.
"Is it okay for you if I pick you up at 10?" I ask.
"Yeah sounds great." Tegan slowly leans forward and captures my lips.
"See ya" I whisper in her ear as I get into my car and drive off.
Tegan POV
I haven't slept this good in a long time. I felt so comfortable and safe. Even though I am excited to see Dan I can't shake off the thought that he actually is Michael's son.
"Tegan!" I hear Sara call from the main area of the bus. I quickly go there.
"LB's waiting outside" She tells me unimpressed. I rush through the door to see Lindsey's car parked in front of the bus. I walk around and sit down on the passenger seat.
"Hey" She greets me with a huge smile.
"Hey how are you?" I ask.
"I'm fine and you?"
"A little bit nervous but also excited" I say honestly. She puts her hand on my thigh.
"You're gonna be just fine, Tee" She kisses my cheek and starts the engine.
After a 15 minute ride we arrive in front of a apartment complex.
"Are you ready? You look kind of pale." Lindsey asks concerned. I nod and get out of the vehicle. Lindsey comes up next to me and takes my hand. She leads me trough the front door and into an elevator, which takes us up to the seventh floor. Lindsey doesn't let go of my hand the whole time and I'm grateful for that. She halts at a light-brown door and a second later I hear the bell ring. After a short time I hear somebody unlock the door from the other side and it opens.
"Lindsey" Alex exclaims and hugs her sister tightly.
"Hey Alex" Lindsey hugs back.
"I didn't expect you to come" Alex turns to look at me and her jaw drops "and I certainly didn't expect Tegan to come along"
"Hey Alex" I greet awkwardly. She pulls me in for a huge hug.
"Oh God Tegan I've missed you so much." She pulls back. "Look at you, you've grown up"
"What does that mean?" I ask with a huge grin. I missed Alex a lot.
"You're not the awkward indie-rocker from two years ago...You and Sara have become huge stars...You're on every magazine." She pulls us into her apartment.
"I wouldn't say that we're huge stars but we are quite successful.
"Gosh the older you get the younger you look" Alex looks at my face like some would look at a unicorn.
"Stop flirting with my girlfriend sis" Lindsey teases and Alex's face lights up.
"You mean-" She looks between the two of us "You're back together?" I nod happily and Alex jumps up and down like a child at Christmas.
"I'm so happy for you guys. I can't believe-" She is cut off by a cry from the other room. It's a kid's cry.
"Is it him?" I ask hopeful.
"Yeah come with me" Lindsey takes my hand and leads me into a small room with a crib in the middle. I slowly look inside the crib to see a little, awfully cute kid. Dan looks me right in the eyes and suddenly a smile appears on his face. God this is too cute.
"I think he likes you" Alex says with a huge grin.
"Can I hold him?" I ask emotional.
"Sure" Lindsey answers.
I reach into the crib and pick up the little human. He's so small and light.
"Hey little human" I say and Lindsey giggles at my name for him. "How are you?" He starts kicking and laughing. Can somebody die from cuteness? Because it feels like it.
Lindsey comes up behind me and puts her chin on my shoulder.
"He looks a lot like you" I tell her.
"Don't tell him that when he's a teen he might be upset." Lindsey jokes and Alex and I let out a small laugh.
"Alex, I'm taking him home" Lindsey says. Alex eyes widen.
"Are you sure?" She asks concerned. Lindsey looks at me and then at Dan.
"Yeah I am sure" Alex smiles at her answer.
"Let me pack his stuff" Alex leaves us alone.
"I love you" I turn to face Lindsey.
"I love you too" She replies.
Dan starts kicking and clapping as our lips connect for a small kiss.