I don't know why this story is sticking so much. I usually just like the fluffy, smutty romancy things but the last ten seconds of the revival threw me for a loop so I'm addressing it in the only way I know how. Let me know what you think. I'm not done with this tale yet. I'm just hoping there's going to be another season of the revival, I don't feel satisfied, as much as I feel some closure on a few things, it's left so open and I NEED more.
I waited until I heard Luke and Kirk leave. I changed into my pyjamas, which I thought was a little silly considering. I changed out of my wedding dress, into my pyjamas, only to put on a different wedding dress in a few hours. I made my way downstairs, bypassing the coffee machine and my morning ritual, not too silly, considering it was nearly noon. I stopped in front of Rory's bedroom door, knocking lightly and pushing the door open. Rory sat on her bed, facing the windows.
"Have you slept?" I asked quietly. She shook her head and swiped at her eyes. I knew we were home alone but I closed her door anyway. I climbed over her bed and sat next to her.
"Do you hate me?" She looked so drawn and sad, I hadn't asked how she really felt about all of this yet.
"One day, hon, you're going to realise how impossible it is to hate your own child." I rubbed her back and kissed the side of her head. "One day, you're going to be holding your baby in your arms and thinking that nothing in the world is more perfect than that tiny bundle of mushy pink skin."
"I'm scared." I nodded.
"I know and you will continue to be scared for the rest of your life. You'll be scared for the next nine months for sure, you'll be scared while you're in labor, you'll be scared to hold your baby for the first time, for when they take their first steps, for when you have to leave them at their first day of school, when they meet a handsome boy and fall in love, when they break a bone, when they start college, when they hit the road on a presidential campaign, when they spend years abroad and when they come home and tell you they're pregnant. Mothers live in a constant state of fear, babe, it's just the way it is." I looked into her tear filled eyes. We hugged for a long time, both lost in our thoughts and I was trying to savour the feeling of my baby, my baby who isn't my baby anymore, my baby who is a mother-to-be.
"I don't know what to do next." She said, breaking the silence.
"You have to tell Logan." I said. She pulled away from the hug and stood up to begin pacing.
"I know. I know. I know." Her pacing came to an abrupt halt. "No, no, I can't...he's marrying someone else...someone who is fit to be a Huntzberger, someone who is successful and who is not me." I thought about Luke, the way that Anna Nardini had left Luke out, how hard he had to fight, how much he wanted his daughter. Then I thought of Christopher, he knew, he was going to marry me, he was willing to be there in the beginning, but I made a choice, I choice that I don't regret. I took deep breath.
"Rory, tell him. He deserves it and...let him make that choice. Do you still love him?" I ask, she stop pacing again and looked at me. Tears filling her eyes again.
"I never stopped." My heart sank. I nodded and I waited for her to speak again, I waited for her to stew and I knew that something else was coming by the look on her face. "I just wanted to do this all differently. I wanted to do this right. I wanted to meet someone who wasn't stuck in my past, a fresh person, someone who I could fall in love with and marry...children come later, you know? I don't want to be a single mother. I don't want to do this alone!" She said, raising her voice.
"Rory," I said in a whisper, I stood up and grabbed her hands. "You will never be alone. I will be right there with you, Luke will be there too and maybe, just maybe, Logan. Call him, talk to him. He loves you too, who doesn't?" Rory hugged me then, tighter than she has ever hugged me. I felt mom mode kicking in and looked around her room. "Get some sleep, please. I'm going to go and make a doctors appointment, and then I'm going to wake you up and then we are going to get married again. Okay?" Rory nodded and smiled.
"Thank you, mom. I love you." She hugged me again and she crawled into bed. I sat next to her on the bed and kissed her shoulder. She was asleep within minutes and I watched her for a while. She's not my baby anymore, everything is different now. Everything.
I sat at the kitchen table, I had coffee and called Luke. I explained to him the talk I had with Rory and he asked if there was anything he could do. Paul Anka sat at my feet and licked my toes. I still felt numb, I felt like there was nothing I could do to make this situation any less hard for her, she was going to do this and all I could do is be there for her. That's what she needed.
I made a doctors appointment, outside of Stars Hollow. Not wanting to add rumors to the mill. I heard Rory moving around in her room, I heard her talking and assumed she was talking to Logan. I couldn't hear what was being said but I could hear her crying. She was so strong for the last couple of days, she had to be because no one knew and now it was time for her to deal, now she could cry and scream and do whatever she felt she had too.