A/N: Thanks to all who reviewed/favorited/followed! All mistakes are mine. I hope ya'll like this chapter! Disclaimer: I don't own anything. Keep in mind when reading this chapter that Edward is only a sophomore in high school and only 16 years old.

"I miss you. I miss your smile and I still shed a tear every once in a while." – Miley Cyrus

Chapter 14

EPOV

December 2008

I can't remember how long we kissed for. The feeling of her lips on mine had me in a daze. Eventually, she pulls back.

"What time is it?" She asks, still out of breath.

"A little after 4:00, why?"

"Shit!" She flies up and starts hastily putting her presents back in the bag that I brought them in. I think this is the fastest I've ever seen her move without tripping and falling over something. The sight of her flinging clothes from all over our meadow back into a black bag is almost comical. I would've laughed if I had known what she was freaking out about.

"What's wrong?"

"I have to get home! Phil and Renee are going to kill me!"

I frown at her statement. Something about the way she says it makes me think she's not exaggerating.

I stand up and walk over to her. I put my hand on her shoulders and run my hands up and down them. "Hey, calm down. I have you until 11:30 tonight remember?"

She visibly relaxes. She sighs loudly. "You scared the hell out of me, Edward."

I chuckle softly. "I'm sorry."

We stand there is silence. My hands still running up and down her arms in comfort. Minutes passed by until we speak again.

"I kissed you." She says, blushing.

I smile and bring myself closer to her. I move my hands so that they are wrapped around her waist, pulling her towards me. "You did."

"You kissed me back."

I smirk at her this time. "I did."

She wraps her arms around my neck and she buries her head in the crook of my neck. "I don't know what came over me."

I gently pull her face away from my neck so I can look her in the eyes. "Do you regret it? Kissing me?"

She doesn't hesitate. "No."

I smile and I press my lips to hers. I can feel her smile into the kiss as well.

"Let's sit back down."

"Alright." She smiles. I lead her back to the blanket.

We talked mindlessly for a few more hours. When I noticed Bella yawning, I suggested that I take her home so she can sleep. She agreed and we gathered her things and went back to my car.

When I pull into her driveway, I turn off my car, knowing that we will talk more before she goes inside.

"When are you leaving?"

"Tomorrow morning. The cruise doesn't actually start until December 22nd though. My parents want to drive all the way to the port where the ship is going to take off. They said it was for 'bonding' purposes, but really my mom is scared of planes."

"I wish you didn't have to go away for Christmas." She whispered.

"I know. I don't know why we're even going. It won't be the same anymore."

"What do you mean?"

I look down. I really didn't like to think about this more than I had to. "It's our first Christmas without Alice. I don't know how we're going to do it. She was the one who did all the Christmas shopping and the decorating around the house. Every year she'd decorate our rooms on the cruise ship until someone complained about them." I chuckle a little at the memory. "You know, she is the reason that we always take a cruise to the Bahamas during Christmas every year. She hated to be in the freezing cold during such an important holiday. She thought Christmas would be better if we weren't literally huddled together for warmth. She always had the craziest ideas. It's one of things I miss most about her." I can feel tears prick the back of my eyes. I refuse to let them fall in front of Bella, though. I have to be strong for her. She shouldn't have to see me cry.

"Edward, I'm so sorry. No one should ever have to go through what you're going through right now. If there's anything I can do at all to help, I'll do it. I'm here for you, Edward, always."

I turn and face her. I grab her cheek lightly with my hand and lean over the console. "I know." I lightly press my lips to hers.

She sighs. "I should go inside now. I'll see you after break, right?"

"Of course. I'm only a phone call away too, Bella. If you need anything. If anything happens."

She smiles sadly and nods her head.

"Bella, if something really bad happens, will you do me a favor?"

She looks at me questioningly.

"Call Emmett. If something happens and you need help, just call him. You can trust him. He really wants to be your friend. He'll be here for you if you need him."

She starts shake head but, I keep going before she can speak.

"I'll feel a whole lot better if I know that you're taken care of when I'm not here. Bella please."

She sighs. "Okay. If it's bad, I'll call him."

"Thank you."

"I need to go."

"Goodbye Bella. I will see you next year." I smirk at her.

She blushes. "See you next year." And with that, she grabs her bag full of presents and heads inside.

**TCWT**

I smile the best as I can as I get on the cruise ship that I will be on for the two and a half weeks.

"Look at the bright side, son. There's a gym that we can play football in while we are here. This way you don't get out of shape on vacation. Then when you get back to school, you'll be ready to play."

I sigh. Everything he ever talks to me about is football. "Yeah, that sounds great, Dad."

"As soon as we get our luggage to the room, how about we go check it out? Play now, work out, then a cool down run around the ship."

I cringe inside. I was really hoping to get away from football for a while, but what else do I expect from the man who sees me as a football player instead of his son?

"Yeah, Dad, it'll be great." I grit out.

We get to our rooms – my parents have their room and I have my own – and unpack. I change into some basketball shorts and a cut off t-shirt for my workout with my Dad. I walk over to where our rooms connect through the bathroom to see if he is ready to go. I find him waiting for me in clothes similar to mine.

"You ready?"

I sigh. I just want to get this over with. "Yeah, let's go."

The workout was intense. I feel every bone in my body protest as I make my last lap around the cruise ship. We don't even run this much or go this hard in practice.

As I come around the corner, I notice a wet floor sign on the ground, but I ignore it. This is a cruise ship for goodness sake – there is water everywhere. I make the last turn and I see my Dad waiting on me by our starting point. About 10 feet away from him, I lose my footing. I slip on some water and crash to the ground. I hear my ankle pop as I land. Fuck that hurts. I look down at my ankle and see that it is turned the wrong way. I try to get back on my feet, but I can barely sit up. Dizziness takes over and the whole world becomes starts to spin.

"Edward? Are you okay?"

I try to make sense of my surroundings as I focus on my Dad. He's kneeling beside me.

"Did you hit your head when you fell?"

"No, I think my ass broke my fall."

"I'm going to ignore that comment."

I roll my eyes at him. "I think I did something to my ankle. I heard a pop when I fell."

His eyes narrow. He looks down at my ankle. "Can you move it?"

I slowly move my ankle around in circles. "It hurts, but it's doable."

"Well, I don't think it's broken, son. I can see it starting to swell. You need to get ice on it so it doesn't get any worse." I can hear concern lacing his voice.

I nod my head.

"I think it's just a sprain. You should still be able to move it fairly easily."

"Can you walk on it?"

"I don't know. I think so."

"Well try, okay? You still need to finish your last lap, son." Of fucking course. Finishing the lap is all he cares about. For a moment, I thought he was actually concerned about me.

"Gee, for a second I actually thought you were concerned for me." I spit out.

"I don't like your attitude, Edward."

I stare at him unbelievingly. "You know what? I don't need your help. I'm just going to find Mom and get her to help me."

He huffs. "You know, running away from all your problems never solves anything."

"Yeah well, maybe if I had a Dad who actually cared, I wouldn't have any problems to solve." I grumble under my breath, too low for him to be able to hear me.

I try to stand up on my own, but it doesn't work. I wince as I try to put pressure on my ankle.

"Stop doing that, Edward! You're just going to make it worse."

I groan. Maybe I do need his help.

"Come on. I'll help you finish the lap then we can go back to the rooms."

I roll my eyes and nod my head. He grabs my hand a helps me up.

"Don't put any pressure on it yet."

We hobble to the spot where I started the lap so I could 'officially' finish. "See? That wasn't so hard now was it?" Dad mocks me.

I want to say so many things to him right now, but instead, I hold my tongue. This is supposed to be a vacation. Christmas vacation. I don't want to start something that will just ruin the rest of our time together.

We continue to hobble around the cruise ship until we reach our rooms. We go inside to find my mom in there reading. When she hears the door shut, she looks up. Her eyes go wide in alarm as she takes in our appearances.

"Edward! Baby, what happened? Are you alright?"

"Yeah, Ma, I'm fine. It's just a sprained ankle… we think. There's nothing to worry about. I'm fine."

She turns to Dad. "I told you not to push him! This is vacation for goodness sake! Let the boy have some fun."

"We were having fun, right son?"

I plaster a fake smile on my face and say, "Right Dad."

My mom narrows her eyes at me. She doesn't believe me.

"Maybe should go in your room and rest for a while, sweetie. I'll bring you some ice in a few minutes."

I nod and smile at my mom. Dad doesn't offer to help me to my room, but I don't expect him to. He's never been much for sympathy, even as a doctor.

When I get to my room, I immediately check my phone for any messages from Emmett. I find none. I don't know whether to take that as a good sign or a bad one.

A few minutes later Mom comes in with a bag of ice for my ankle. It still hurts like hell, but at least I know nothing serious is wrong with it.

"Here you go, Edward." She stops and smiles at me. She looks like she wants to say something else, but she doesn't. She leaves without saying another word.

A few moments later Dad walks in. Don't these rooms have fucking locks on the doors?

"Here. I, uh, made you this playbook for you to look over on vacation." I snort and he walks back out.

No one bothers me for the rest of the night.

As I lie in bed, my thoughts are consumed with Bella. What is she doing right now? Is she on the verge of sleep like I am or is she in pain in her own home? Is she hurting? Is it physical or emotional? So many questions I wish I had the answers to. I eventually drift off to sleep. The last thing I remember thinking about is wanting to wrap Bella in my arms. I want to keep her safe. I want to hold her and show her that someone cares for her.

The next morning, Dad wakes me up at 7:30. "Rise and shine, son! I let you sleep in long enough. Time for your next workout."

"What the hell? What about my ankle? It still fucking hurts, you know."

"I'm going to ignore your language because it's Christmas Eve, but I expect you to still workout with me today."

"I thought you said it was sprained? As in, I need to let it rest so it can heal? You know, like not fucking push it the day after?"

"Stop your whining and get dressed. I'll be waiting outside. Don't make any noise getting dressed. Your mother is still asleep."

I grumble as he walks out the door. He's a fucking doctor! He should know that I don't need to push it!

Angry as hell, I begrudgingly put on another pair of basketball shorts, my tennis shoes and a t-shirt. With every step I take, my ankle protests. I can't put all my weight on it. I really don't think I need to be working out.

I limp out the door to the deck where my dad is waiting on me.

"It's about time! I thought you were a girl from how much time it took you getting dressed."

"Sorry. In case you haven't noticed, my ankle is the size of a fucking baseball, so it hurts to walk."

He narrows his eyes at me. "Stop complaining. It's only a sprain."

I scoff. "It sure hurts a hell of a lot."

He rolls his eyes. "Come on. We're going to jog around the ship once and then hit the weights. We'll save the football for after breakfast."

I groan. He wants to do more after this? I feel like I'm in fucking boot camp or something.

We start our jog around the ship and soon enough, my ankle feels like it is on fire. Every step I take, I feel knives stabbing in my ankle. I don't say anything to my dad again, knowing that he'll just tell me to suck it up. I somehow manage to keep up with him for the remainder of the lap, despite my ankle.

We get to the weight room and he makes me start with bench press. I start off with a simple 200 pounds 10 times. I slowly increase the weight until I max out at 235.

Next up is squats. I look down at my ankle. I can see how swollen and red it is from here. I really don't think I should be working out. I walk up to my dad when I finish. "I think I'm going to stop for the day, Dad. My ankle hurts like hell and I don't want to make it any worse." I turn to walk away, but he stops me by grabbing my elbow.

"Son, it's just a small sprain. You'll be fine. Go do some simple squats now. Just do 10x190 and tell me how it feels."

"Dad, I really don't think I should be doing stuff on it. It really fucki-"

"Stop complaining. It's not that bad. Now I'm going to run to the restroom real fast and by the time I get back, I better see you squatting over there." He gave me a pointed look before walking away.

I sigh. I just want to get this over with and get off of my foot. I walk over there and start putting the weights on the sides of the bar. Once I finish, I take my place under the bar and start to lift the weight on my shoulders. I can feel my ankle start popping once I start to squat. I get all the way parallel to the ground and I start to go back up when it happens. At first, I don't feel anything. One minute I am facing the wall, the next I am staring at the celling. My ankle gave out on me. I fell trying to come back up from my squat. My ankle hurts 100 times worse than it did before. Lucky for me, the bar with all the weight on it got caught

I look around for my dad, but I don't see him. Instead, I see a middle aged guy running over to me.

"Are you alright?"

"My ankle." I manage to get out. I pull my hurt leg to my chest by bending my knee. I've never broken a bone before, but if I didn't break my ankle, I never want to feel anything worse than this kind of pain again.

"Do you think you can stand up?"

"No, I don't. My ankle fucking hurts." I squeeze my eyes shut in pain.

"What happened? I was on the treadmill over there and then I heard a crash. I turned around and saw you on the floor."

"I fell on it yesterday when I was running. My Dad said it should be fine if I rested, but I never got the chance. I told him that it still hurt, but he didn't listen. He is hell bent on making me work out on vacation." I grumble.

"Well, where is he now?" As soon as the words were out of his mouth, Dad came back inside the gym. He saw me on the ground with this man over me and his eyes went wide.

"Don't touch my son! I'm a doctor; I know what I'm doing! He's fine." My Dad yelled.

"If you know what you're doing, then why did you allow the boy to work out when he clearly was hurting himself in the process?"

"He was fine! He told me so!" Dad said defensively.

I snort. The stranger looked over at me then glared back at my Dad.

"I'm going to get the doctor that's on the ship."

"I'll be right here waiting." I pipe in.

He nods. "It won't take me long." He heads out the door.

"Come on Edward, stop being such a wuss. Get up and we'll go back to the room."

You've got to be fucking kidding me. He still thinks I'm faking this? "Screw you. My ankle hurts like hell and I'm going to get someone who actually fucking cares to look at it now."

He rolls his eyes. "Stop being so dramatic. I care."

"If you cared, why didn't you listen when I told you it was hurting? Why did you continue to push and push me even when I was in pain? Was it worth it? Here I am, collapsed on the gym floor, unable to get back up. I hope you're fucking happy."

He huffs, but doesn't say anything else.

The stranger walks back into the room with the doctor. The doctor and the stranger both help me to my feet and basically carry me to the emergency room that is on the ship. My dad doesn't try to help. He merely follows us to the room. The doctor starts taking X-rays of my foot as soon as we get in there. A few minutes pass until he tells us the verdict.

"Well Mr. Cullen, your X-rays show that you have a stress fracture on your ankle. I'll have to size you for a boot." He walks over to me and brings out a few different size boots for my ankle. We try a few until he finds the one that fits me the best. "You need to stay off of it for the remainder of the cruise. If you have to move around, use these crutches. I'm also giving you a couple of narcotics for your pain." I nod my head. I'm still fuming at my Dad for not even pretending to be concerned about my ankle.

The doctor hands me the crutches and pills and sends me on my way. I don't even look at my Dad when I pass him. I just wobble my way to the door to where my Mom is.

"Oh sweetie, what happened?"

I snort and point to Dad coming in behind me. "Why don't you ask him?"

I hear Dad huff from behind me. I roll my eyes and head to my room.

No one bothered me after I that. Dad seemed kind of remorseful that he pushed me so hard when he brought me my lunch and dinner, but I'm not sure. I stayed in my room for the rest of the day so I wouldn't have to see or speak to my Dad again.

I must have fallen asleep at one point because I end up waking up to my mom squealing in their room next to mine. I sit up and grab my phone. Still no calls from Emmett. I hope this means that Bella is happy and safe back in Forks.

The squealing next door keeps getting louder and louder and I know that I can't avoid my parents forever. I sigh and head in to what I know will end in a disaster.

Things were tense as I walk over to the mini Christmas tree in the corner of my parents' room. It's not because of the incident at the gym from yesterday, but because this is our first Christmas without Alice. Christmas was always Alice's favorite part of the year, and now she'll never have one again. I feel tears prick the back of my eyes at the thought of it.

The awkwardness is palpable as we open our presents. Instead of it being filled with laughter, the room is completely silent. I've never experienced a Christmas like this before, and I instantly hate it.

We each open our presents up. We thank each other as we get through opening them up. I got a new leather jacket, some new football cleats, new socks, some new clothes, a Rolex, an iPhone 3G, a few things for my car, and some cash. All the gifts are completely meaningless. Material things don't mean anything to me anymore. For once, I want a gift that has meaning behind it. I want something that someone put thought into getting, not their credit card.

Sighing quietly, I quietly thank them for my gifts and hobble back to my room. I'm still angry at my Dad about what happened yesterday.

They leave me alone until dinner time. Another tradition we have is that we eat a huge Christmas dinner at night. I dress in the nicest clothes that I brought on the cruise and wobble over to my parents' room. They say that we are going to the main dining hall to eat. We all walk there in a creepy silence. We get our food and no one says a word. Everything is tense. We're all thinking the same thing: Alice should be here.

Eventually, I decide I can't take the silence anymore and speak up. Taking Bella's advice, I tell my Dad how I feel about football. "So I was thinking that I might not play football next year…"

My Dad drops his silverware on his plate. "Why on earth would you say something stupid like that?"

"Because it's true and it's not stupid. I'm kind of tired of football anyways." I mutter.

"Where is this coming from, sweetie? I thought you loved football." My mom says sympathetically.

"I just want to see if I am capable of anything else other than football." I say quietly. I start to explain when Dad interrupts me.

"No, I'll tell you where this is coming from. It's that girl that keeps popping up every time we turn around. Is she the one telling you to quit football? Is that it, son? I'll tell her to piss off if you need me to." Dad says with conviction.

I huff. He is really starting to piss me off. "No, 'that girl' has nothing to do with it and her name is Bella." I turn back to my Mom and continue. "I did use to love it, but now, I don't get that feeling I used to when I was younger. Things are different now. I want to see who I am without football."

"Who you are without football? You're nothing without football, Edward!"

I gasp in shock at his words. I figured that he would be angry when I told him, but I never thought that he would ever say something like that. I stood up from the table then, knocking my chair out of the way in my haste. "How the hell would you know? I've never done anything but football!"

"I know because you're my son and I know you! You are not capable of anything other than football! You proved that the night you let Alice die." He says bitterly.

I freeze. He did not just fucking say that.

"Carlisle! That's enough!" Mom turns to me, tears forming in her eyes. No one has actually mentioned Alice this entire trip. "He didn't mean that, Edward. What happened that night was too severe for anyone to do anything about it. Nothing would have helped her."

Dad snorts. "That Bella girl is screwing with your mind. You need to get rid of her and maybe then you'll start acting like yourself again. You're becoming too weak. I don't want to see you with Bella again. I don't like her. You don't want her to end up like Alice, now would you? Dead on the side of the road with an incapable teenager just watching from the side as she dies? Because that's what happens to the girls that get close to you son. I'm telling you this for your own good." He spits out.

I couldn't say anything after that. I didn't even know what I could say. Instead, I stormed off out of the dining hall. I don't want to be near them right now. How could he say that to me? I feel tears prick the back of my eyes. Don't cry. Don't cry. Don't cry. I force the tears back. I feel so hurt and betrayed.

I get to my room and slam the door shut. I feel rage consume me. I just want to throw something or brake something to get all this anger out. I grab what is nearest to me – the playbook that Dad gave me the other day – and I throw it as hard as I can against the wall. It smashes against the wall and then falls to the floor.

Out of the corner of my eye, I see my new iPhone 3G. I hobble over to it and pick it up. I take it out of the box and stare at it. If Alice was here, she would be freaking out right about now. She always loved the newest thing. She always had to have the newest clothes, the newest phone, the newest shoes, the newest everything.

Gah, I miss her so much. I feel tears prick the back of my eyes as it final hits me. She's gone. She's really gone. She's never coming back. This is what my life is like without her and I hate it. My parents only can talk to me about football. All my friends only talk to me about football. All except one. All anyone thinks I can do is football. It's the only thing I can do. I hate feeling like this. I hate feeling so useless.

My thoughts are interrupted when someone knocks on my door. "Go away. I don't want to talk to anyone right now." My voice starts to crack. "Just leave me alone."

"Edward, honey." Mom walks in anyway.

I hobble to my bed and sit down, my back to her.

"I know how hard your father is on you and I am so sorry. He shouldn't have done what he did today. It was uncalled for." She pauses. "He didn't mean what he said about Alice either, sweetie, you know that. Nothing could have been done about her."

I snort. "It was more than fucking uncalled for! I don't get him sometimes. He thinks all I can do is play football and it's not. I tried to save Alice that night, but I couldn't. I tried Mom. I really tried!" The water works start.

"I'm sorry you feel that way, Edward, but you know that's not true. He loves you for who you are, not because of football." She ignored what I said about Alice.

"Oh, he does? Then why is football the only thing he has ever talked to me about since Alice died? Huh? It's like I'm not even his son anymore. He only sees me as a player. It was always Alice who made him see me and now that she's gone…" I can't even finish my sentence as sobs wrack my body.

"I miss her too, but there's nothing we can do about it anymore." She's crying now, too.

"She was my best friend. How am I supposed to go through life without her?"

"The same way I do. The same way your father does. We get through it together. Family is the most important thing anyone can ever have. I know it doesn't seem like it sometimes, but your father and I are here for you. You can talk to us about anything. You are so much more than a football player to us, baby." She wraps her arms around me and I cry harder into her shoulder.

"Then why do you always take his side on everything? Alice always had my back and now no one does. Do you know how that feels? Because it fucking sucks."

"I am so sorry you feel this way. I'm going to go talk to your father. Calm him down some. Do you need anything?"

"No, I'm fine. Just lock the door on your way out."

She sighs and turns to leave. When she reaches the door, she stops and says, "For the record, son, I do like Bella. I think she is good for you. I don't care what your father says, I want you to do what you think is right with her. I will always be here for you. Do what your heart says. Go after her."

My sobs get louder as she walks out the door. I can't hold it in anymore. I never cried for my sister's death, and now it's taking its toll on me. Everything hurts. My head, my chest, my ankle, my heart. All I can think about is that this is only the first of many years without Alice.

I cry until I fall asleep. I wake up the morning feeling hungover, but I know it's just from all the crying. I sit up in bed until the feeling goes away. I look around my room and spot my iPhone sitting on the floor. I sigh. I never hooked it up last night. I walk over and pick it up and start setting it up.

As soon as I got my new phone all hooked up, it starts to blow up. I had 23 new text messages from Emmett and 4 missed calls. Shit! What if something happened to Bella last night? I completely forget about my own problems with my family as all of my thoughts go towards Bella. I immediately call Emmett back. It rings for a few minutes and then he finally answers the phone. I don't give him the chance to say one word before I start interrogating him.

"Emmett? What's wrong? Is Bella okay? Are you with her? Is she hurt? What happened?" I got out in one breath.

"Hi Edward. It's me." Bella whispered into the phone.

"Bella." I sigh in relief. Hearing her voice for the first time in days sounded like music to my ears. Although, she sounds different – not like she was before I left. "Are you okay? Did something happen?"

"No, I'm fine. I just wanted to talk to you." She sounds so sad.

"Are you okay, though? You sound upset."

"Yeah, I'm fine now. Emmett is here. I've just really missed you these past couple of days. It's been kind of hard."

"I know, Bella. It's been hard on me too." I pause for a second. "You said Emmett was there too. Did you call him?"

She sighed on the other end of the phone. "No, he just came over. Scared the hell out of me too."

"He did? I swear I'll kick his ass if you want me too."

I heard her laugh on the end of the phone. "No, don't. He's been helping me. I'm actually really happy he came over. I don't know if I could have gotten this far into the break without him, Edward."

I sigh. Relief floods through me knowing she's okay. I've been so worried about her during this trip. All I want is to get back home, to her. "I'm happy for you. I hope you had a good Christmas."

"I actually did, because of you," she pauses, "and Emmett." I hear Emmett laugh over the phone.

We talk mindlessly for hours. I've missed her so much. I can't believe that she let Emmett in. She's come so far from the time I first met her. From not talking to anyone at all to letting me and Emmett in. It sounds like she and Em have been getting close since I left. I can't be happier for her.

For the rest of the cruise, I spent hours at a time talking to Bella. I didn't once play football or workout with my Dad. I still ate dinner and lunch with them every day, but other than that, I avoided them. They just don't understand me and they don't want to try. I know Mom tries, but she never tries to stand up to Dad about anything.

With the New Year around the corner, maybe things will start to change.

A/N: Thanks for reading! What did ya'll think? Are you curious as to what happened to Alice now? Leave your comments in a review!