A/N: Thanks to all who reviewed/favorited/followed! All mistakes are mine. I hope ya'll like this chapter! It is the chapter you have all been waiting for. All questions about what happened to Alice and Jasper will be answered here! A couple of you were confused last chapter, but this is the first time Bella has been to Edward's house. When Esme cooked for them before, Edward brought it as a picnic to the meadow. Bella hasn't been to Edward's house until now. Disclaimer: I don't own anything.

"You can see the world you brought to life, to life. So love me like you do, love, love, love me like you do." Ellie Goulding

Chapter 18

EPOV

February 2009

"Mom said I could've stayed home today. Now I'm thinking I probably should. I just – I just thought that I could do it. I thought I could make it through the day without…" I feel the tears building in my eyes and I just don't have it in me to hold them back. "I haven't slept in days. I just keep reliving that night over and over again. Every time I close my eyes, I'm back at the accident. I'm back at that night. I can feel her blood on my hands. I – I…" My sobs consume me. I don't want to talk about this right now. I can't relive it anymore.

"Shh. Hey, it's okay. You're not there anymore. You're here in your room with me now. You're okay now." Bella rubs her hand on my arm to my shoulder and back down again. Her small gesture means more to me than she'll ever know.

I stop her ministrations by grabbing her hand bringing it to my lips. I lightly kiss her hand and intertwine my fingers with hers.

"You don't have to tell me anything you don't want to, you know…" She says softly.

I look up to her. I stare into her big brown eyes. I see nothing but understanding and kindness in them. "No, I um, I need to get this out. Maybe talking about it will help me get over it somehow."

"I'm here for you, Edward, whenever you're ready."

I close my eyes and pinch the bridge of my nose. I need to get this out. "One year ago today, my sister and my best friend got into a car accident. We were all coming home from one of my football games when it happened." I take a deep breath. "My parents wanted to go eat to celebrate the win, so we did. Alice and Jasper were in one car, I was in my own, and my parents followed behind us.

"It was snowing harder than it had in years. There was ice everywhere, but the thought of us hitting it never crossed our mines. I was a great driver and so was Jasper. I trusted him with my baby sister's life." I choke back a sob. Bella runs her hands up and down my back and I feel myself calm at her touch. I take a deep breath and start again. "It was late and dark. It's hard enough to see black ice in the day time and in the night it's impossible.

"We were almost to the restaurant when it happened. I saw everything go down. It's like time slowed down so I could see every excruciatingly painful moment. Jasper turned down a street corner. He hit a small patch of ice and panicked. His car spun out of the road and flipped. The car stopped rolling once it hit the tree line. I got out of my car and ran to them. I found Jasper first. There was blood everywhere. The coroner said that he had suffered blunt force trauma to the head. He said that his head hit the steering wheel so hard that it killed him. They said it was instant. He didn't feel any pain as he went. Alice on the other hand…"

I start crying harder than before. I can't take it. It's like I'm back there right now. I can still see her body all covered with blood. It's too much.

"Edward. I'm right here. Be here with me. You're not there with your sister or Jasper. You're with me. I'm right here. Feel me. Feel my heartbeat. Match my breathing. You are here with me right now. You're okay."

I grab her hand give her a gentle squeeze. Words cannot describe my feelings toward her in this moment. "It's okay. I need to get this out."

She nods her head and I continue.

"The police said that Alice wasn't wearing her seatbelt. They say that if she had, she might have made it, but she didn't. I found her body lodged through the windshield and on to the ground of the forest. She was still breathing when I made it to her. She was unconscious, but still breathing. I panicked. I didn't know what to do. My dad had forced first aid training and how to do CPR down our throats since we could learn and when the moment came that I needed to do it, I froze. That's why I freaked so bad when you passed out on me at school. It was happening all over again and I couldn't do anything to stop it. I'm so sorry, Bella."

She shakes her head frivolously. "You did nothing wrong, Edward, with me or Alice. If anyone else was put in your position, they would have reacted the exact same way and you know it."

"It doesn't matter. I was her big brother. I was supposed to always protect her and when she needed me the most, I failed her. I just stood there like an idiot. I could have saved her, Bella. There was so much blood everywhere. I didn't know what to do. All I could do was just stand there and watch my baby sister die a painful and slow death. By the time I realized that she stopped breathing, my brain kicked in. I rolled her over onto her back and started the CPR.

"Eventually an ambulance came. The EMT's in the ambulance pulled me away from my sister. They checked for a pulse, but never found one. They tried to shock her back to life with a defibrillator, but to no avail. Same thing happened with Jasper. They pronounced them both dead on arrival. I had her blood on me and all I could think about was if I had only started the CPR sooner, then she wouldn't have died.

"My parents showed up soon after. They had taken a different route to the restaurant and was waiting for us when they heard the ambulance. Forks is a small town and everyone knows each other. Someone saw the accident from the town and called 911. They called my parents too and told them what happened. When they got to the scene of the accident, my mom rushed over towards me to make sure I was okay. My dad on the other hand, went straight for Alice. She was always his favorite. When they told him she was dead, he lost it. He broke down right there in the middle of town in front of everyone. That night when we went home, he looked at me with such hate in his eyes. He knew that it was my fault that Alice was dead. He knew I could've saved her and I didn't. He never said his thoughts aloud until we were on the cruise ship on Christmas. The only reason he doesn't completely hate me is because I continue to play football for him."

"I am so sorry, Edward. No one should ever have to go what you've been through. It's cruel and I can't even imagine the amount of pain that you must have gone through."

"I choked and now my sister is dead because of it." A new wave of sobs crash over me. I start shaking uncontrollably and soon enough, I can't breathe. I forcefully try to take a deep breath, but it only makes things worse.

"Edward, you have to calm down. You're having a panic attack."

I try to match my breathing with hers, but it doesn't help. My breaths are coming in shallower and my chest starts to prick in pain. Bella notices this and does the one thing that confused me even more. She kisses me. Out of instinct, I kiss her back. Her lips mold perfectly with mine. I taste her lips, her mouth, and her tongue. Abruptly, she pulls back. My eyes are trained on her lips as I ask, "What was that for?"

My eyes drift upwards to meet hers. That blush of hers covers her face as she starts to speak. "I read somewhere once that if you hold your breath during a panic attack, then it will stop. I didn't know how to tell you to stop breathing without freaking you out, so I kissed you. I guess it worked."

I didn't even realize that my breathing was back to normal until she mentioned it. I lost myself in the kiss that everything else faded away. I immediately wanted that feeling back. I lean in slowly to kiss her once more. When my lips touch hers, a sort of frenzy begins. I suddenly don't have control of my actions anymore. My hands abruptly have a mind of their own. They begin roaming Bella's body. They move from her face, to her neck, to her back, down to her ass to cup it.

"Don't." She whispers. I promptly remove my hands from her ass and disconnect my lips from hers. She slowly opens her eyes and grabs the collar of my shirt to bring me closer to her. "Don't stop, please." She whimpers out.

I instantly reconnect my lips to hers once more. My hands take their place back on her ass and I gently squeeze them. Hearing her moan at my touch has got to be one of the best things I've ever heard in my entire life. I gently pull her body on top of mine.

As I deepen the kiss, my hands move from her ass to roam cautiously under her shirt. I feel her stiffen for a split second before she leans in to my touch. Her skin is so soft. I slowly creep my hands up further until I reach the edge of her bra. I pause here, not knowing if it's okay to move forward or not.

Bella's hands start to work on my shirt. I feel each button of my shirt come undone. Her hands tentatively begin to pull my shirt apart. I help her out by lifting up off of the bed and pulling it the rest of the way off. When I pull it off over my head, I feel her gaze drop to my chest. I smirk. "See something you like?" She bites her lip in response.

I slowly grab her hand and place it on my chest. "Everything that's mine, is yours. Touch me." She gingerly raises her hands and roams her hands over my chest and stomach. I lean in to kiss her again and my hands resume their place under her shirt.

Getting bolder, I slip my hands under the fabric of her bra. Bella pulls away from me simultaneously and whispers, "Take it off."

I lock my eyes with hers to make sure she's serious before removing her shirt and bra. I slowly lift it up off of her and inch by inch, I see more of her than I ever have before. The first thing I notice is how beautiful she is. Her skin is pale white and so soft. I've never felt anything like it. The next thing I notice is the scars that cover her stomach. Thoughts on how she got these fill my mind, but the look on her face makes me push them to the back of my mind.

I can see worry and fear come across her features. She promptly moves her arms to cover her breasts. "I'm sorry. Doing that was a mistake." She hastily looks around my bed for her shirt and bra.

I rapidly stop her searching. "Don't hide from me." I gently grab her arms and pull them away from her chest. I pin her arms beside her head and lean in close to her. "You're so beautiful." Relief floods her face and I lean in once more to kiss her. I pull her body down so I am on top of her this time.

Our kisses become more and more heated as our hands explore each other's bodies. Our bodies move together in tandem, as if we have been doing this our entire lives together. Time ceased to exist as our bodies moved in sync with each other. I have never in my life felt some complete than when I am with Bella like this.

The only times that my mouth wasn't on some part of her body was when I had to breathe. Both of our breaths came in deep pants. We could have continued like this for forever if it weren't for a knock on my door.

Bella and I realized that someone was coming inside at the same time. I immediately throw my covers in an effort to cover Bella. No one gets to see this part of her but me.

"Edward, sweetie are you home?" My mom walks in without bothering to wait for answer after she knocked. She gasped in surprise when she saw that I wasn't alone. Her face turns beet red and she instantly shields her eyes. I guess I know where I get my blushing from. "I'll um, be down in the kitchen if you want something to eat."

Trying not to laugh at my mom's reaction, I yell down after her, "We'll be down in a sec, Ma!"

I cover my face with my hands and then turn back to Bella. She has a look of horror on her face. I immediately reach my hand out to comfort her. "What's wrong?"

"You're mom just walked on us making out! How can you not be freaking out about this?"

I chuckle. She huffs out at my laughter and starts to get off my bed. Before she gets more than a step away I grab her hand and pull her back on top of me. Our bare chests are flush against each other once more. I immediately see the blush return to her cheeks. "I love that blush." I softly begin to stroke her cheeks with my thumb.

"How can you be so calm about this?"

"My mom knows how I feel about you. She understands that part of me." I say softly, not stopping my ministrations.

"How do you feel about me?" She asks so softly that I barely even heard it.

I think to myself for a moment before replying. I know how amazing I feel when I am with her. I know how she makes me feel. I know how I feel when I'm with her. I know how I feel when I'm not. Words can't describe how incredible she makes me feel. It's an amazing feeling that I've never felt before. It consumes me. My every thought and action revolves around this girl that I am completely in love with.

I smile at my recollection.

Bella giggles. "What are you smiling about?"

My smile gets impossibly bigger. "You."

She giggles more and I attack her with my mouth. I kiss her everywhere my lips touch, her lips, her nose, her cheeks, her forehead, her neck, her throat, her breast, her stomach, everywhere. Her breathing starts coming in gasps when I start going lower. Not wanting to scare her or do something she's not ready for, I make my way back up to her lips. "You have no idea how amazing you are, do you?"

She bites her lips and smiles. For the first time since I met Bella, which was almost seven months ago, she seems blissfully and utterly happy. She is completely relaxed around me and I don't want to ever mess that up. Every bone in my body tells me that I need to tell her that I love her, but my head knows that she's not ready to hear it. I decide to hold off telling her until she's ready.

"Come on. Let's go downstairs. I want you to officially meet my mom." I roll out of bed to find her bra and shirt. When I find them, I toss them to her and try to find my shirt. Once we are both dressed, we walk hand in hand downstairs to find my mom.

Mom is trying to hide her grin when we walk into the kitchen. I can feel Bella tense up when Mom finally turns around to acknowledge us. I squeeze Bella's hand in encouragement and start talking to my mom. "Mom, I'd like you to meet my girlfriend, Bella. Bella, this is my mom."

As soon as the words left my mouth, my mom ran over to Bella and pulled her in for a hug. "It's so nice to finally meet the girl who has my son so smitten."

To my surprise, Bella hugs my mom back.

"Ma, stop embarrassing me." I nervously chuckle. I don't want her to freak Bella out.

"Oh, hush. Let me have my fun. It's not every day that Edward brings a girl home, especially not one as pretty as you, Bella." She says, completely ignoring the fact that I am in the room.

Bella's face lights up in a blush at my mom's words. She bites her lip, a habit out of nervousness I've noticed.

"I made some sandwiches for all of us. Edward, why don't you go clean up so I can have a few minutes alone with Bella?"

I look to Bella for her permission. I don't want to leave her alone if she feels uncomfortable. Knowing exactly what I'm asking, Bella squeezes my hand in reassurance. I reluctantly leave them alone in the kitchen.

I quickly run up the stairs and to my room to wash my hands. I run back downstairs, but pause on the last step when I hear my mom talking.

"I haven't seen my son so happy in months. I have you to thank for that, Bella. After the accident last year, I never thought Edward would be the same person he was before. We made him move schools so he could get a fresh start. We wanted him to find happiness again, and now he has, in you. I will never be able to repay you for bringing the light back into my son's eyes. I knew today was going to be a hard day for my son. So, imagine my surprise when I find you in bed with my son when I came home earlier." Bella's cheeks flush. "No need to be embarrassed, child. I've never seen my son so happy before. Then I saw how he was in there with you. I thought I would come home to find him in tears, hating the world. Instead I found him happier than he's been in a long time. I never thought I would see him smile like that again, but there he was. I am forever in your debt for that, Bella."

My heart constricts at her words. I never knew that they made me move schools because of that. Dad always insisted that it was because of football, nothing else. I guess I am not the only one who realizes what Bella is doing for me. It means the world to me that my mom is telling Bella all of this.

I start to make my presence known in the kitchen when I hear Bella speak up. Shock overcomes me as I hear her speak to my mom. "You're wrong, Mrs. Cullen. I will be forever in your debt, in your son's debt. He is the one who is bringing the life back in me. I owe him everything. He has helped me in ways he will never know. You have no idea what my life was like before him… and now I don't ever want to imagine what it will be like if he ever leaves it."

My mom brings Bella in for a hug. "Oh sweetie. You have impacted this family in ways you will never know. I owe my son's happiness to you. You will always be welcome here. You have no idea what you mean to me because of what you've done for my son. You have a family here."

I can see the tears forming in Bella's eyes from here. I decide that now is the best time to make myself known. I walk in to the kitchen and Bella pulls back from my mom's embrace. Tears are still threatening to fall out of Bella's eyes, so I try to change the subject to something else. "So, are we going to eat those sandwiches or what?"

Bella giggles and walks over to me. She throws her hands around my neck and hugs me tight. With Bella facing the opposite direction, I face my mom and mouth the words thank you to her. She nods and I can tell she is fighting back the tears too.

We all sit down to eat. I make light conversation with them both. Mom does the same. She tells Bella not to call her Mrs. Cullen again. She says it makes her feel old. Mom tells her to either call her Esme or Mom. My heart constricts at her words. I never thought this would happen and yet it did. My life feels complete.

At about three o'clock, Dad pulls in the driveway. He walks in the door and sees Mom, Bella, and I sitting at the table talking. I am the first person to notice Dad's presence. His eyes are red and puffy. It is clear to me that he has been crying all day, same as Mom and me.

Mom eventually follows my gaze to her husband. She notices the first thing I did and runs up to hug him. Dad and I lock eyes for a moment. The same thoughts running through our minds: the only reason either one of us got through today is the thought of our girls. He nods his head to me in understanding when he notices Bella's hand grasped firmly in mine. I turn to face towards Bella and kiss her forehead.

"Come on. I should get you home." She nods her head and follows me out the door to my car. I walk her over to the passenger side of the car and before I open the door for her, I lightly press her against the car with my body. Our bodies fit together so perfectly, I do my best to suppress a moan that forms when I feel her entire body lined up with mine. I begin to kiss her slowly and sensually. When I break apart from her to breathe, I lean my forehead against hers. "You don't know what today meant to me, Bella. You completely turned my day around. I am so thankful that you are in my life now." The words I love you are on the tip of my tongue, but I bite them back.

"I'm always here for you, Edward. Don't forget that." She says softly.

"I know."

I help her into my car and head to the driver's side. I begin the drive to her house with her hand in mine. When I pull into her driveway, Bella speaks. "I really like your mom, Edward."

I smile at that. "Yeah, she's pretty great."

"You're lucky to have a mom like that." She pauses. "She's lucky to have a son like you." I smile at her kind words.

"I've never known what it feels like to have a real mom, but if I could choose anyone in the world to be my mom, it would be Esme. She didn't even know me and yet she treated me like family. She walked in on us half naked and she encouraged me to follow my heart when it comes to you. I'm basically a stranger to her, but she treated me like I was her own daughter. I've never felt that before, Edward. I can't tell you what it means to me." I don't know how to reply, so I don't. I merely kiss her forehead and whisper my goodbyes to her.

Seeing Bella walk away from me, back to her own house made me realize something. I'm in love with someone for the first time in my life. It didn't even take me three months to fall in love with my girlfriend. Then, I realize something else. I didn't fall in love with Bella just as my girlfriend. I fell in love with Bella as my best friend, as a person, and as a girlfriend.

I go back home once I know Bella is safely inside her front doors. I park my car and the first thing I see is my dad sitting on the steps of the garage that lead to the house.

"I've been unfair to you about Bella. I see that now. You need her just as much as I need your mom. I'm sorry for not realizing this sooner. I hope you can forgive me, son."

I don't say anything. I nod my head in acknowledgement of his words, but I have nothing to say to him. He can't just act like he doesn't care one day and be completely fine with Bella the next.

Sidestepping my dad, I walk in the house to find my mom sitting in the kitchen table looking through old photo albums.

"Do you remember this picture, Edward?" She points to the picture of Alice and me on our first day of Kindergarten. I was dressed in a bright pink t-shirt and blue jeans. Alice was in a bright pink summer dress.

I chuckle at the memory that comes with the picture. "Yeah, I do." A sad smile crosses my face. "Alice wanted us to match on our first day of school. She made me wear that damn pink shirt at least once a week for the entire year. She kept saying that I was going to be a ladies man because of that stupid pink shirt."

I didn't even realize that tears were flowing down my face until one hit the picture. Mom turns to face me. She pulls me in for a hug. No words are needed. Just the feeling of my mom's embrace is enough. I don't know how long we stayed connected, but eventually the tears stop coming and I pull away.

"I really like Bella. I think she's good for you."

I smile from ear to ear. "You don't know how much hearing you say that means to me, Mom."

Mom studies me for a moment. "You're in love with her aren't you?"

I smile and nod my head. It's crazy how Mom understands this part of me sometimes.

"I wasn't sure until today, but I have had my suspicions since the cruise. I've seen the way you act when you're around her, son. You're protective of her. She moves. You move. I've never seen anything like it. She's changing you. You seem happy. It's a good look for you. I've missed seeing it on you."

I smile sadly. "I've missed being happy. Mom, she's like no one else. She's amazing and beautiful and smart and, and, and… she's everything I could have ever asked for in a girl. She's perfect." Even I can hear the love in my voice now. It's a wonder if Bella doesn't realize it.

"All I've ever wanted is for you to find someone who you can talk about like that, and now you have." She smiles at me affectionately. "Don't screw it up." She says with a stern look on her face before we both burst out in laughter.

"I won't. I promise." I start to make my way up to my bedroom when Mom calls out for me one more time.

"Oh, and Edward?"

"Yeah, Mom?"

"I want grandbabies, but I don't want them being made when your father and I are in the house." She gives me a pointed look.

I feel the heat rise up in my cheeks and rush off to my room before she has a chance to say something else.

A/N: Thoughts? Anyone catch the Teen Wolf reference in there? What do ya'll think about Alice and Jasper's story? Tell me what you think with a review!