A/N: Thanks to all who reviewed/favorited/followed! All mistakes are mine. I hope ya'll like this chapter! Disclaimer: I don't own anything.
"A drop in the ocean, a change in the weather, I was praying that you and me might end up together. It's like wishing for rain as I stand in the desert, but I'm holding you closer than most, cause you are my heaven." – Ron Pope
Chapter 20
EPOV
April 2009
I watch as Bella walks in her house to make sure she gets in safe. The moment she is out of my sight, I drive back to school for practice.
I rush out of my car and to the locker room. Fuck, I am so late. Everyone is already out of here and onto the field. I quickly take off all of my school clothes and put on my practice jersey, pads, and cleats. I run out to the field, but a movement out of the corner of my eye catches my attention. I walk back to behind the bleachers.
I see two people pressed against the poles of the bleachers. I walk a little closer to them, trying to figure out who is dry humping underneath the stadium bleachers. The closer I get, the louder the pair seems to be. I can vaguely hear moaning and soft grunting.
"Right there, Jake. Fuck."
I stop dead in my tracks. That's Tanya and she's with… Jacob? What? That makes no sense. I thought Jacob hated Tanya for what she did to Bella. Rage consumes me as I realize what's happening before me.
"Fuck Tanya, I'm so close."
Sick of what I'm hearing, I let my rage take over me.
"What the hell do you think you're doing?" I yell furiously.
Abruptly, they pull apart. Tanya smirks at me. Jacob glares at me.
"You jealous, Edward? Or did you want to join in?" Tanya asks cockily.
"Fuck off, Tanya." She rolls her eyes and starts to sip up her pants and straighten her shirt. After she looks like she didn't just get a quick fuck behind the bleachers, she stomps off towards the parking lot. "What the hell were you doing with her?"
"I'm trying to get some ass, you cock block. What the hell is your problem?" He yells back just as angry while zipping up his pants.
"My problem? My problem is you! I just saw you screwing fucking Tanya, of all people, underneath the bleachers! You know, Tanya, the girl who fucking tormented Bella for God knows how long? The girl who dumped her beer on Bella at a party not too long ago? How could you do that? I thought Bella was your friend?" All I can see is red. If he doesn't have a good explanation for his shit, I'm going to beat the shit out of him. How could he do this to me, to Bella?
"She was never my friend. She was always your play thing. She never gave me the time of day after you claimed her as yours! You got yourself a piece of ass, so why can't I have mine?" A sick grin comes across his face.
The words are barely out of his before I punch him in his face as hard as I can. I hit him so hard, I heard something pop. "Bella is not my 'play thing'. She's my fucking girlfriend and I am in love with her, you dick!" I freeze for a moment. This is the first time I've actually admitted that to someone besides my mom. I don't let it faze me and continue my outburst. "There are plenty of other girls in this school. Why the hell would you go after the one girl that completely tortured Bella? What did Bella ever do to you?"
"She wanted you! Everyone always wants you! I never get anything or anyone! Everything is always about you. I have stuck by your side through everything and I never get any credit for shit! I was the one who was there when you fell in love with football. I was there on the first day of practice in high school. I was there when Alice and Jasper died. I was there when we moved schools just to play football with you. It was always me! I am done with you, Cullen. Everyone always bows down to the almighty Edward Cullen, but not me, not anymore. I am sick and tired of being your little bitch. I finally have someone of my own that is not yours!"
I'm speechless. "Jake, I –"
"Save it, Cullen. Let me fuck whoever I want to fuck and know it has nothing to do with you. If I want to fuck Tanya, then I am going to fuck Tanya. So do us both a favor and fuck off." And with that, he storms off in the direction Tanya went.
Even though I am completely shocked by his outburst, I somehow make my way to the football field where everyone was waiting on me. Still in shock, I don't even realize that coach was yelling at me until Emmett nudges me out of my trance–like state.
"Where on Earth have you been, Cullen? You are almost an hour late to practice! Do you have something better to be doing, Cullen?"
"No sir."
"Then why the hell are you late to practice? In case you haven't noticed, we are only six weeks away from the national championship game! I am trying to build a national championship team! I can't do that if my quarterback can't show up to practice on time!" Coach Clapp is now so close to my face that I can tell that he had chilly cheese fries for lunch.
I try not to gag as coach keeps getting closer and closer to my face as he continues to chew me out. When he finally finishes his lecture, he tells me I have to run three miles after practice for being late. I nod in acceptance of my punishment and practice begins again.
The entire practice, my head is not focused on football. All I can think about is about my interaction with Jacob. Why would Jacob want to fuck Tanya? How long has he felt that way about me? Why hasn't he said anything to me about it? I had no idea he felt that way about me. Jake has always been such a great friend. I had no idea how he really felt about me.
Practice goes by quickly considering I missed half of it. I start to run my three miles around the track when I hear someone start to run beside me. I look beside me to find Emmett there. "What are you doing, Em?"
He doesn't look at me as he speaks. "What does it look like I'm doing? I'm running three miles with my quarterback because he took his girl home from school and was late to practice. I'm the captain. It's what I'm supposed to do."
I smile. "Thanks, Em, but you know you don't have to do this. I'm sure you've got something going on with Rosalie after practice."
"It's okay. She understands how important this championship means to me. She knows I will do anything to get us that trophy and title." He gives me a pointed look.
I grimace. "Sorry. I know you must think that I don't care about it, but I do. I want to win this for you and the rest of the team."
"I know and it's okay. Bella needs you. I just want you to remember that we need you too. I need you here man. We can't do this without you. I can't tell you how important this is to me. I have my entire future riding on this championship, man."
I look at him in confusion. "What do you mean? I thought you weren't playing in college."
He grins slightly. "I didn't either. I haven't told anyone yet, but I got a call from Washington State last week. They want me to play for them next year. They said that if we win the national championship game, then I'll get a full ride there." I can tell he is trying to hide his excitement, but is failing miserably.
I can't keep the smile off my face as I say, "That's great, man! I'm so happy for you."
"I wasn't even planning on going to college until they called me. My aunt and uncle just can't afford it, you know? But this changes things. I could go to college. I could do the sport I love and get fucking paid to do it. I'm going to be living my dream. I can hardly believe it."
"I'm so happy for you, Emmett. You really deserve it. I swear I'll put everything I have in these final weeks for you. I want you to be able to fulfill your dreams more than anything. We are going to win this for you, okay? You're one of the best players in our league and by far one of the most deserving, Em. We will win this for you."
He smiles. "Thanks man. It means a lot."
"And uh, I wasn't late because of Bella." I pause. "Well, not completely. I did drop her off after school, but I got here about 20 minutes after practice started."
He looked confused. "You got on the field almost an hour late, Ed. Where were you?"
As I think about my confrontation with Jacob, I feel my blood begin to boil once more. My hands start to curl into fists. "I saw Jacob screwing Tanya underneath the bleachers beside the locker room." I say tightly.
Emmett stops running. "What?"
"Yeah, that's what I said."
We slowly start to pick up our pace again. "Are you sure he was screwing Tanya?"
"Yeah, I'm completely sure."
"That doesn't make any sense. Why would he do that? I thought he hated Tanya like the rest of us."
"That's what I thought, too, but I guess not. He said something about me having everything he wanted. He wasn't making any sense though."
"Damn, Ed. This really sucks. I know how close you two used to be."
"Yeah, I know. That's what makes this so hard and confusing. How could he do that to me or to Bella?"
"I don't know, man. I don't know."
We finish the rest of our laps in silence, both of our minds too shocked to say anything else. As we head to the locker rooms to change, Emmett stops me. "Hey, can you hold off on telling people about the whole maybe scholarship thing? I don't want to get my or anyone else's hopes up and then it not happen."
"Yeah, no problem. You're going to get it, Emmett. We are going to win the national championship. You are going to get a full ride to Washington and you are going to make all of your dreams come true. It's going to happen. I promise."
He smiles softly at me. "I hope you're right."
"I am always right." My tone full of cockiness.
He laughs and heads out of the locker room and to his car. I do the same and head home.
Wanting nothing more than to take a hot shower and go to bed right when I get home, I can't help the groan that comes out of me when I see my dad waiting on the steps to the house as I pull into the garage.
I get out of my car and begrudgingly head over to where he's at. I've barely spoken to him since the anniversary of when Alice died, almost three months ago.
"What?" I spit out. I can't help the iciness in my voice. He infuriates me to no end.
He looks up from the ground and motions for me to sit down next to him. "Can we talk for a minute?" He sounds upset. Somewhat curious to what he has to say, I sit down next to him.
"Look son, I've been doing some thinking," He looks me dead in the eye as he continues, "and I want you to play football because you want to play football. I don't want you to feel obligated to play anymore. I am so sorry for how I've been so adamant about it this past year. Something about the anniversary of Alice's death made me realize how shitty I've been to you." We both flinch at the mention of Alice. "Seeing you with that girl." I give him a pointed look. "Bella. Seeing you with Bella made me realize that I just want you to be happy. If being with her makes you happy, then be with her. If not playing football anymore makes you happy, then don't play football. I just want my son to be happy again."
For the second time today, I am completely shocked. I don't know what to say. He wants me to be happy? He's okay with me and Bella? He's okay with me not playing football anymore?
"What brought all of this on?"
He chuckles lightly. "Like I said, I've been doing some thinking. I've been looking at home movies and old photo books. I've seen a change in how you act. When you were little, you were so care free. You loved playing football. There was one tape in particular where I literally had to drag you off of the field, kicking and screaming. You wanted to stay and play so bad, but it was almost 10 o'clock at night and you had to go to school the next morning. It took everything I had to get you home that night."
"I remember that. Alice was already asleep in your right arm and you picked me up in your other one while mom kept the video camera rolling." I find myself chuckling at the memory along with my dad.
"You were so happy back then, but over the years, I've seen that happiness fade away. I thought I wouldn't see you be the same Edward Cullen that you were after Alice died. You were always so sad. I never thought I'd see you smile again. It broke my heart seeing you so upset. I thought if I pushed you into playing football, you'd have a little part of happiness back in your life. It didn't work though.
"You hadn't smiled in months. Then, you started Forks High and met Bella. You came home with a smile on your face for the first time in almost seven months and it was because of Bella, not football. I wanted to be the one to help put that smile back on your face. I wanted it to be football, not a girl.
"What I said to you on the cruise ship… it was uncalled for and completely wrong. It wasn't true. I was bitter and upset that my baby girl wasn't with us on her favorite holiday. It's a shitty excuse and I know it. I had no right to act the way I did. I had no right to say those things about Bella, either. I think she's a wonderful girl. How I've acted this past year is completely unforgiveable. I was so stupid. I realize that now. Seeing you with Bella has changed you for the better. I'm sorry for not getting it sooner. I hope you can forgive me…" He trails off.
"I don't know what to say." I want to believe him, but I don't know if I can.
"You don't have to say anything, son. I just want you to be happy." He says with a small smile on his face.
"I am happy. Bella is the most amazing girl I've ever met."
"Don't let your mother hear you say that." He jokes.
I smile at his attempt of being my dad again. "She already knows."
He smiles. We sit there for a few minutes in a comfortable silence before he speaks again. "I would like to meet Bella. Not as a doctor or an upset husband, but as your father who wants to know the girl that has brought my son back to life."
I smile. I never thought I'd ever hear him say that. "I'd like that, too."
I go to sleep that night with a feeling of exhilaration building inside my stomach. My dad, the dad that taught me how to love football, to love in general, wants to meet the first girl I've ever loved.
Friday comes quicker than ever before. I told Bella that I was going to formally introduce her to my dad at tonight's game and I don't know who is more nervous, me, her, or my dad. He seems to really want to meet Bella as my girlfriend.
School goes by fast and before I know it, Bella and I are on our way to eat with my parents before our game.
The awkwardness is palpable when we get out of the car and walk to my parents who are waiting inside the restaurant. I grab Bella's hand and pull her to the side, right before we go inside. "You don't have to do this, Bella. I wouldn't blame you, considering the way he's treated you in the past."
She shakes her head and looks up at me. "No, I need to do this. You said he's trying to be the dad he was when you were little, right?"
I nod my head. He really was trying.
"Then I need to do this. We need to do this. If he's making the effort, then I should at least meet him half way."
It's in this moment that I realize how much I care for this girl. She is everything I could ever hope for in a person, let alone a girl. I want nothing more than to tell her exactly how I feel, but I am afraid she's not ready to hear it. I want her to know what she means to me. I want her to know that she fills the gaping hole in my chest that Alice left when she died. I want her to know that the only reason I wake up with a smile on my face is because of her. I love her and I want nothing more than for her to love me back. But, she's not ready. I don't want to scare her off so I keep my feelings to myself as we head inside the restaurant.
My mom notices us first and runs up to hug Bella. "It has been too long since I've seen you, Bella. I've missed you. Edward doesn't bring you around the house nearly as often as he should."
I see her blush.
"Ma." I complain on Bella's behalf.
"Oh, hush you. Leave me to my fun."
I roll my eyes and move on to my dad. I look to Bella in anticipation. "Bella, this is my dad. Dad, this is Bella."
"It's nice to officially meet you, Bella."
Bella smiles and shakes Dad's hand. We head to our booth and talk continuously for the next hour and a half. I haven't enjoyed a family meal this much since Alice died. I owe it all to Bella. I would have never had the talk with my dad about everything that has happened if it weren't for Bella. This hole in my chest that I thought would never go away is now completely filled because of her. My family is acting like a family once more, because of Bella. She has no idea the impact she has made in my life and I love her so much for it.
When Bella and I finish our food, we quickly make our way back to the school for the game. I drop Bella off by the bleachers where she always sits. Waiting on her is her AP English teacher, Mr. Masen. Over the past few games, I've noticed Bella sitting with him during the game. The smile on both of their faces when they see each other makes me feel amazing. She's branched out so much since the beginning of this school year. She's grown so much as a person and I feel completely honored to have been a part of that.
I leave Bella and Mr. Masen to go get ready for the game. Tonight, we play a team from Vancouver, Washington. Whichever team wins will advance to the national playoffs. The team sounds good based off of stats, but they don't seem to have our skill or determination. In the end, we win 54 to 17. As per usual, the crowd of people rush on to the field at the end of the game. I hurry to find Bella, and when I do, I sweep her in my arms and kiss her passionately. Words cannot describe the high I feel as Bella kisses me back just as passionately out on the field where I just secured my team's spot in to the national playoffs just moments before.
Elation runs through me as I feel the need to celebrate. All I want to do is take Bella back to my house and be with her for the rest of the night. So, that's exactly what I do.
I sneak Bella into my room and immediately attack her mouth with mine. The moment her lips touch mine, I'm completely hard. These past few weeks have been the best kind of torture. Bella and I have slowly started to progress our physical relationship. She's so beautiful. All I want is to ravish her, but I know it would freak her out, so we have been keeping things slow for now.
I slowly lift off her shirt and mine follows seconds later. I gently push her into my bedroom wall and grind myself on her. "Do you feel what you do to me, Bella?"
Her only response was a moan.
Her hands slowly move from their place around my neck down my chest and stomach to the button of my pants.
My hands pause their movements on her breasts and move down to meet her hands at my pants. I, begrudgingly, stop her advancements on unzipping my pants. I look her straight in the eye and ask, "Are you sure? I don't want you to feel like you have to do anything, Bella."
She smiles up at me, completely confident and unashamed of her actions. "I want to, Edward. I want to be with you like this. I want to make you feel as good as you make me feel. I want to do this."
I nod my head and let go of my grip on her hands and let her undo my pants. My dick springs out, eager for some attention from someone's hand that's not mine. My head falls back in pleasure when I feel Bella's small hand tentatively wraps around my dick and squeezes.
"Fuck, Bella."
Needing something to keep my mind off her ministrations so I don't cum in two seconds, I quickly unbutton her pants and move her panties to the side.
Bella slowly starts to move her hand up and down my dick. She moans when I swiftly slide two fingers inside of her. Her movements on my dick become faster and faster as I thrust my fingers inside of her. We match each other's pace and it's not long before I feel that familiar coil in my stomach feel like it's going to burst.
"Are you close, baby?" I moan out.
In between breaths, she answers, "I'm almost there, Edward." I watch as her head falls back in ecstasy.
The combined facts that I haven't had anyone beside me touch my dick in so long and the fact that Bella is the one stroking me, makes me shoot my load faster than I ever have before. Seconds later, I feel Bella clinch around my fingers and her cum squirts out of her.
We stay close like that for a few more minutes. I pull my fingers out of Bella and bring them to my lips. She watches my every move as I suck each finger into my mouth. I watch her mouth go wide and I feel myself get hard again. Oh, the things that mouth could do. I lean in and place a wet kiss on her mouth. I moan at the fact that she is tasting herself on my lips.
When I pull back, I realize that I came all over Bella's hand, so I take her hand and lead her to the bathroom.
When I finish cleaning us, I kiss Bella's forehead. "That was amazing, Bella."
She giggles and says, "Yeah, it was."
We walk back into my room and I notice the time on the clock sitting on my nightstand. It's almost 10:45. "Fuck, Bella. We need to go. You have to be home by 11."
She nods her head and we quickly make our way downstairs and to my car. I speed the entire way back to her house. We get there in no time. I swiftly kiss her on the lips. We say our goodbyes and the words "I love you" are on the tip of my tongue, but I hold them back.
It's not the right time. I reason.
I watch her walk into her house before heading back to my own.
The school week flies by. The entire school is just as pumped as the football team for the first round of the national playoffs. When Friday comes, there is a huge pep rally for the team. Principal Greene makes a cheesy speech about this year being the year of the Spartans. I spend the entire time searching for Bella amongst the sea of people. Because I am a part of the team, I am required to be on the gym floor with the rest of the team while the rest of the school is packed tightly into the small gym. It takes me a while, but I finally spot her near the door, standing with Mr. Masen. I smile at the fact that she's not alone in this school anymore. She has me, the rest of our friends, and now she has Mr. Masen.
At the end of the pep rally, I head over to Bella and ask her if she wants to eat with the team or go somewhere by ourselves.
She shrugs and smiles at me. I smile in return and take her hand to lead her to my car.
"I want you all to myself for as long as I can tonight… if that's okay with you."
Looking around to see if anyone is around us, she replies, "I am very okay with that." She stands on her tippy toes and kisses me on the lips before getting in my car. I smile at her actions and get in the car too. We drive to the local diner to eat before the game.
Just like usual, I drop Bella off with Mr. Masen after we get through eating so I can go get ready for the game.
My prediction was right. Mountain View High School from Vancouver, Washington was a good team, but we were better. We win the game 42 to 35.
As soon as the timer goes off, the entire team, stands, everyone erupts in cheers. We did it. We're going to the sweet sixteen in the national playoffs for football! The excitement hits me as I see the entire crowd from the stands run onto the field. I look around, expecting to see Bella coming towards me, but I don't. I don't see her anywhere. I start searching for her frantically, but nothing. Ten minutes go by and still no sign of her. I see Mr. Masen and run over to him.
"Where did Bella go?" I ask him.
His eyes widen in shock for a split second before answering. "She was right behind me when we ran onto the field. I had no idea she wasn't there anymore. I'll help you look for her." I nod my head and start searching for her again.
Another five minutes pass until I finally spot her. She's frozen in place right beside the gate around the field. I run to her and wrap my arms around her.
"Where have you been, Bella? You scared the hell out of me. I couldn't find you. Mr. Masen couldn't find you. I was so worried."
Bella doesn't respond. She doesn't even move. It's like she doesn't even know I'm here. "Bella?"
Once again, she doesn't respond. She's really starting to scare me now. I examine her from head to toe. She's pale white, as if she'd seen a ghost. She's freezing cold, despite the weather being near sixty degrees out. She's barely moving. She looks as if she had just been scared to death.
"Hey, Bella, what's wrong? Talk to me." I urge. I cup her cheek and lightly press my lips to hers. This seems to break her out of her trance–like state. She finally moves. She wraps her arms around me in a hug. I pull her tightly against me.
"You're okay. I'm here. I've got you." I whisper in her ear.
We don't let go of each other for at least ten minutes. No one bothers us, but I can tell people want to talk or congratulate me about the game, but I don't care. My girl needs me right now, and that's all that matters.
We eventually have to get off the field and I take her home. She doesn't say one word about what happened tonight, and I don't want to push her into telling me, despite how badly I want to know. I drop her off at her at her house without a word from her.
Seeing Bella shut down like this makes my heart break in two. I've never seen her so clearly upset about something. I want nothing more than to help her – for her to confide in me, but she doesn't. This breaks my heart even more.
A/N: Thoughts? Why do you think Bella froze up like that