Chapter 1

I was so sick of this argument. It was the same thing over and over again and she still didn't understand! I didn't want to go away, why would I? I was perfectly fine here! I had everything I needed. Father was teaching me how to fight so soon enough I would be able to be by his side when he goes on expeditions. But of course mother was not on board with this...

"Father, say something! You can't possibly agree with this!" I yelled, hoping to get him to reason with my mother who obviously, had gone mad. Again.

"It's for your own good, Idony. You're going to be queen, do you realize what this means?"

Oh I understood what it meant and it wasn't good enough.

"I do understand! It means that I'm gonna be sent away to a village I know nothing about, with people I know nothing about to marry someone I know nothing about!"

"You will get to know him, Idony, it won't be all bad... "

I looked at my father, I felt like every word that came out of his mouth was gibberish.

"You're on her side?!'' I asked, feeling betrayed.

Mother looked at me, like I was being irreasonable, like I was a child. I was fourteen, I was perfectly capable of thinking for myself.

We were in the kitchen and we were all eating. I mean, until mother started saying nonsense about me getting married. For the tenth time. And usually I could just brush it off, or Father would tell Mother that there was no point in talking about it now or to give me time to think about it. And I had! I hated the idea.

"Ida. You're fourtheen, it's time now. Do you know how important this is for our family, for you? You'll be queen! Your future is assured. Do you know how lucky you are? Do you know what other girls would give to be in your position?'' Mother had the soothing voice she used to calm me down whenever I was upset but this time it made it worse.

"Mother! I DON'T want to be in this position! I want to stay here! I want to learn how to fight and be by father's side when he needs me. I could find a good man right here and be much happier than if you send me away!"

I stormed out, as I heard mother in the background yelling that I had to go and there's nothing I could do about it. I was trying not to cry as I ran outside. Our home was almost right in the middle of the village. We were surrounded by woods and just a bit further out was the ocean, that's where my favorite spot was. By the sea. I ran there as fast as I could and for a second I stood, out of breath, looking at the immensity of the water. It was cold and windy and the ocean was restless but for some reason, I still found it calming.

"Hey..."

The familiar voice made me turn around. Leif was a tall, red headed young man at sixteen summers old. I had known him for as long as I can remember. For a while he was like a big brother. Protective, comforting and he trained with me every week. We challenged each other, I think. But lately things had been a little different. He was starting to court girls and everytime he did I got a little bit jealous. Or very jealous. He was handsome, and he felt like home.

"What are you doing here?'' I asked, surprised to see him here.

"I went to your home and your father told me you ran out so... I figured you were going to be here. What did you fight about this time?'' he asked.

My eyes stung as he talked before my restraint finally broke and tears began streaming down my face. He approached and held me in his arms for a while as I cried, holding on to him tightly. Finally I moved away, wiping the salty tears from my face.

"They want me to go to Eowland, to marry the heir of the crown," I said after I'd regained my composure.

"Ida, that's great! Do you know what that means? You're going to be queen!" he exclaimed.

I stared at him, confused and mad.

"...What?"

"You're going to be queen, that's usually what happens when-"

"No," I interrupted, "I know that but... you're actually happy about this?"

"Well yeah, I'm happy for you," he said, his hand reaching to rub the back of his head awkwardly as a crooked smile pulled at his lips.

My heart gave a heavy thump in my chest at the sight. He really was handsome... and kind, and funny, and- stop. I couldn't afford to think that way but the man had a way of worming into my thoughts. However this was not the reaction I had expected form one of my closest friends.

"If I do this I'll be leaving home," I took a deep breath. Was I really going to do this? Looking at his earnest face I knew if I didn't do it it now I wouldn't get the chance to again, " I'll be leaving you."

Leif's smile dropped away and his hands came up to rest on my shoulders. I could feel the warmth of his hands even through the thick wool of my sleeves. The intense longing and subsequent pain I felt in my gut made me look away from the brightness of his green eyes.

"Hey," he spoke softly, one of his hands brushing up my arm to cup my cheek. "Look at me Dee."

I couldn't help but meet his eyes once more. He was so close to me now, "What?" I muttered, trying to emotionally distance myself.

"I'll miss you," the sparkle had returned to his eye at having discovered the root of my discomfort.

"No you won't," I denied, trying to pull escape his grasp but he pulled me back so I was trapped against his chest. I stood shocked for a moment before I felt the low rumble emanating from him. The bastard was laughing at me! "Let me go," I demanded.

"Don't be so dramatic, Dee," he chuckled into my ear. "Of course I'm going to miss you. If you didn't think I would, you have severely underestimated how much you mean to me."

I moved back just enough so I could see his face, I feel his breath wafting across my face at every exhale. "Do you mean that?"

"Look at you," he laughed, "How could I not?"

I didn't admit it to myself until that moment but that's what I had been waiting to hear for the past year. The whole situation, him standing so close, the impending doom of my departure the next morning, made me do something I had only ever dreamed about. Carefully, I brought my hand to the back of his head and drew him down to my height. Before I lost my courage I pressed my lips against his. It was a short but sugary sweet kiss. I don't think I'd ever felt more alive. My blood was coursing through my veins as I opened my eyes to look at him.

His brows were furrowed and he opened his eyes to stare down at me. A shot of cold went through me.

"Idony..." his voice was low and rough.

I backed away leaving his arms to fall back to his sides. I couldn't believe I actually kissed him. Stupid, Idony. Stupid!

"They're sending me away at daybreak," I blurted out, putting more distance between us. "I probably won't see you again," I paused, "Goodbye Leif."

I didn't wait for him to respond, I turned and ran. I ran away from the love of my life, too cowardly to hear what he had to say.

The moon was out when I finally reached home. Mother was by the fire, weaving and father was at the table, having ale by himself. I ignored both of them, still infuriated and went straight to my bed and there I cried again. What was wrong with me? How could I ruin years of friendship right before I leave forever. Or maybe I didn't have to. Maybe I could run away. Maybe Leif and I could run far, far away from here! Or maybe all I had to do was hide, and they would never find me and I wouldn't have to go. Or! Or maybe I could-

"My darling..." I hear my father say as he entered the room. I turned away from him, trying to shut down the waterfalls that were streaming down my face. Again. I felt his hand on my shoudler and he sat next to me, pulling me against him. "Father don't make me go..." I cried, giving up on stopping the tears.

"Oh my sweet. My little miracle... All your mother and I want is for you to be happy. If we didn't truly believe that the Northman's son was the best possible option for you and our family, we wouldn't send you. They are good people. They will treat you right and they have the rank that you deserve. You need to be strong, my sweet. It feels like the end of your world right now but you're going to be happy."

I listened to him and none of it made sense but as he rocked me against him, my tears slowly stopped running dow my face. I knew that I really didn't have a choice.

But I would not forgive them for sending me away. I'd miss everything. I felt like I didn't have enough time to enjoy all the little things this place had offered me all my life. I felt like I missed out by taking it for granted and now I'll miss out on everything else there is to come by leaving.

Father was rocking me against him and I finally fell asleep, lost in my thoughts as he rubbed my back. I had nightmares of a cold and lonely place, that night.

I woke up the next morning by the sound of my mother's voice. She was next to my bed, one hand on mine and the other was brushing my hair back. It was early enough that the sun wasn't even up yet. "It's time, my love". She said. I could tell she was trying to remain calm. Her voice was almost cracking up and I could see her fighting the tears. I sat up in my bed and before I had time to rub my eyes she was holding me against her. I was used to this kind of affection with father, but mother was always more reserved.

So I held onto her. I would miss her too, I guess.

And then I did what I'd been told. I tried to be strong. Mother helped me dress into a green dress, that tied up at the waist with a leather belt. It was cold, at this time of year so I had a heavy black cape and a wolf pelt tied like a shawl on top of that. Mother had already packed my belongings in a leather bag. There wasn't much. Undergarments, a few of my finer dresses and some jewelry. I had yet another leather bag, a smaller one, that I could attach to my belt, with silver coins in it. There was ne need for me to bring more, I had been reassured by Greta, my handmaiden- former handmaiden- that I would surely be made an abundance of new dresses beffiting a princess upon my arrival at Eowland.

There I was, all ready to go.

Mother, Father and some of Father's most trusted men, as he called them, escorted me to the docks, where a Knarr was waiting for us. Well... For me, I guess. I was getting more and more scared but I wasn't going to let it show. Father held me, for a good minute.

"Remember, my sweet. Be strong. I promise you, happiness will come."

He kissed my forehead and pulled out a beautiful knife that was engraved with our family emblem. I looked at him, surprised. He handed it to me and it was with all the precaution in the world that I took it.

''Father...''

I said, not able to find the words I was looking for. Probably thank you would have done it, but I couldn't think right. All I was thinking was I don't wanna go. Don't make me go. But I knew all too well that I had to and there was no going back. I slid the knife securely into my belt so it rested against my back under my cloak, feeling just a bit less scared and a bit more safe. Like a part of father was coming to protect me from all the dangers and the monsters.

Then mother came to me and also kissed my forehead as she held my hands.

''Go, my darling, go make your father and I proud.''

I looked down, repeating to myself the words my father told me. Be strong. Be strong. And after I embraced my parents one last time, was led onto the boat by four of my fathers gaurds who would keep me safe on my journey. I stood upon the boat. It was massive and it was the first time I traveled by sea. It was exciting, frightening and nervewrecking. Mostly frightening. Be strong...

I waved goodbye to my family, to my land. I waved my whole life goodbye. And then, from afar, I could've sworn I saw a tall red head running down to the docks. A tear ran down my cheek and I resolutely wiped it away.

Be strong.