A/N: Thanks to all who reviewed/favorited/followed! All mistakes are mine. I hope ya'll like this chapter! Disclaimer: I don't own anything. I am so blown away by all of ya'lls reaction to that last chapter! Some of them mad me tear up a bit and others made me laugh. If I knew how to respond to reviews on Fanfiction, I would totally do so, but sadly I don't know how. This is a really short chapter, so if I can get up to 175 reviews on this chapter, I will post the next chapter early! Hope you guys don't want to kill me when you get through reading this one! See you at the bottom.

"There is no pain you are receding… The child is grown. The pain is gone. I have become comfortably numb." – Pink Floyd

Chapter 26

EPOV

December 2009

Things have been tense between Bella and me to say the least. She's lying to me and I know it. I hate that she does it. I tell her everything about me and she won't share with me some of the most important parts of her life. She won't even tell me some of the most insignificant parts of her life! It's so fucking frustrating. I don't think she understands how much she means to me and because she is constantly lying to me, I feel like she doesn't feel the same way about me.

I would do literally anything for this girl and I can't say that she would do the same for me. That's not how a relationship is supposed to work. Both of us should be putting in effort to make us work, but that's not happening. I feel like I'm putting in all of the work and I'm not getting anything but lies and secrets in return. I honestly don't know if I can go through this any longer.

When I saw the bruises on her stomach earlier, I couldn't even talk I was so angry. She never tells me anything and it kills me inside. Why should I care so much for someone who clearly doesn't want to be cared for? I mean, if she really wanted help, then she would've take me up on my one of my many offers, right? Sometimes I feel like it's not worth my time to offer her my help. I think that I'm just wasting my breath.

I try to take all my anger and frustration out during football practice, but it doesn't work. By the time I'm in the locker changing to go to Emmett's party, I'm still in a foul mood. Maybe if I can get my mind off of it, my bad mood will go away.

I head over to Em's house. When I get there, I walk through the front door and start to look for the beer.

"Edward, my favorite little quarterback, how have you been, man?" I turn to the source of the noise. It's Emmett. I can't help the grin that comes on my face. I've really missed this guy. Maybe he can get my mind off of Bella for a little while.

"Emmett! I'm fine. How have you been? How are you liking college football?"

"It's great, man. I love it. I still can't believe that I'm able to do it. It's all still so surreal to me sometimes."

I smile, genuinely smile. "I'm happy for you, Em. If anyone deserves it, it's you."

Emmett just smiles back. "So where's Bella? I thought you said she was going to come?"

And just like that, my good mood vanished. So much for not wanting to think about Bella. "I called Rosalie earlier and asked her to pick Bella up."

"Why?" The shock is clearly written all over his face. "Last time I saw you guys, you two were inseparable."

I snort.

"Trouble in paradise, Ed?"

I snort again. "Yeah, something like that."

"You want to talk about it?"

I sigh. "No, not really."

"It's okay, man. Everybody goes through these bumps in their relationship. It was bound to happen sooner or later."

I take a deep breath. I don't want to bombard Emmett with all of my relationship problems, but I need to talk it out with someone. "It's more than just a few bumps, Em. It's like a fucking never ending pothole that's happening."

Emmett furrows his eyebrows. "What's that supposed to mean?"

"She doesn't tell me anything! She's constantly lying to me about the stupidest fucking stuff and it's really starting to bug me. I would do anything for her and yet all she does is hide stuff from me. I don't know how to handle it and she won't fucking talk to me about anything! I don't know what to do anymore. I don't know if I can do this with her anymore…" I trail off, not knowing how else to put my feelings in words.

"What's she lying about?" He asks tentatively.

"Stupid stuff like how she got bruises all over her body and why she gets all tense whenever I mentioned her foster dad, Phil. I can't talk to her about life at home. She freezes up whenever I mention anything about talking to her foster family about anything. She won't even tell me her birthday for fucks sake! It's fucking exasperating, Em!" I can feel my anger building inside of me. I didn't even realize how worked up about this I really was.

"Edward." He sighs. "Look man, there's shit that goes on in Bella's life that is better if you don't know about. There's certain things about her that's better off left in the dark. If she wants to tell you about it, then she will on her own time. Don't try to push her into something she's not ready for. The amount of shit she's been through… most people don't even go through that kind of stuff in their entire lives… I would know too."

"What the fuck is that supposed to mean, Emmett? Stop speaking in fucking riddles and just say what you're going to say! Bella is my girlfriend! I'm supposed to know every little insignificant detail about her life! Who cares about the shit she's been through? I've been through more shit than you have!"

Emmett visibly forces himself to stay calm at my comment. Looks like I've hit a nerve. "Edward, bro, stop. You need to calm down. You have no idea what you are talking about and if you did, you would know how much what you just said is completely wrong. You don't know anything, about me or Bella, so stop acting like you do. You're going to start asking questions that you really don't want to find the answers to."

"Here we go again with the fucking riddles! If you're going to talk to me, then be direct with me. I'm sick and tired of all the secrets and lies in my life. I just want everything to be out in the open!"

Emmett takes another deep breath to keep his composure. If I didn't know any better, I would be slightly intimidated by the giant man in front of me who is visibly shaking in anger right now. "Look, I'm not saying that she should keep everything from you, but I do think she does need to keep some stuff private. Trust me, you don't want to know everything about her. She's keeping you in the dark for your own good, man. Some shit she goes through, it's fucking messed up. You are better off not knowing."

"You say that like you know something that I don't," I say with conviction.

The look on Emmett's face gives me all the answers I need to know. He fucking knows something about Bella that I don't. I don't know what infuriates me more: the fact that Bella told him something so personal and deep and not me or the fact that Emmett had the balls to keep it from me when he knows how much I care about her.

"What the hell are you talking about, Emmett? What the hell do you know that I don't?" When he doesn't respond again, I get even angrier. "You have to tell me! What is it?"

"Edward look, I know you just want to help, but you have to understand that some things are just better left unsaid."

"Fuck, Emmett! Just tell me! I have a right to know!" With every word, I can feel my anger building and building, just waiting for the right moment to explode.

He shakes his head at me. "Edward, just stop. She'll tell you when she's ready."

Pissed beyond belief that he's keeping something about my girlfriend from me, I try to punch Emmett in the face. I get about two inches away from his nose when a hand stops mine. Fired up and ready to try and strike again, I turn to the person who interrupted my fist connecting with Emmett's face. It's Jacob. I stare at him unbelievingly. Why would he, of all people, stop me?

"Come on, Edward. I've got a better idea for you to do rather than beating the shit out of that dick."

I grunt and follow Jacob as he takes us over to the couch in the middle of the room. He hands me a bottle of vodka and pats the seat next to him. "I think you deserve the bottle, man."

I snort and nod my head in agreement. I take the bottle from him and immediately start to pour the clear liquid down my throat. I welcome the burn that it leaves on its way down.

"So, I'm guessing you figured out some stuff with Bella?"

"I didn't figure out shit. She doesn't tell me anything. You were fucking right, Jake. She doesn't trust me."

He snickers. "I'm always right. She's no good for you. She's just a piece of ass and you've had your fill of her."

I don't respond. I down the rest of the bottle of vodka and toss it to the side. When I turn to look at Jake, I see him holding another cup of beer out to me. I mumble my thanks and sit back and listen to him talk.

"She's not worth your time, Edward. She's worthless, always has been. I know you were only with her out of pity. You felt bad for the Freak and decided to take her out to play. Well, now it's time for you to come back to your real friends. She's nothing but a fucking lying slut. You deserve better. She's doesn't tell you anything because she doesn't care about you. She's using you just like you're using her. You get a fuck toy and she gets to milk off your popularity. She's been using you for over a year. Can't you see it? If I were you, I'd want revenge. She's been using you and you fell for her."

Despite being drunk out of my mind, I understand Jacob's words clearly. I don't know what to say or how to respond to him, so I just sit back and continue to nurse my beer. When I finish my cup, I turn to place it on the side table, only to find Jacob holing out another cup of beer in his hand when I turn back to him. I take the cup and immediately take a sip from it. This one tastes a little off, but I ignore it and continue to drink.

"She's not worth all the drama man. I bet she's not even a good lay. Wouldn't you rather be with a nice blonde with big tits and a nice round ass? There's no shortage of them anywhere. I can hook you up easy, just say the word."

I don't say anything. Part of me thinks Jacob is right. Bella's not worth all of the drama that I have to put up with, but the other part of me disagrees. I love Bella or at least I think I do. But how am I supposed to love someone when everything that comes out of their mouth is a lie? Why should I be the one that she lies to? I deserve better than her. I deserve for someone to be upfront and honest with me.

She's not worth all of the lies.

Why would she be with me just to shut me out? Why wouldn't she want to tell me about everything that goes on in her life? Maybe Jacob is right. Maybe Bella was only with me for my popularity in the first place. That in mind, I down the rest of my beer and take another one. I don't want to think about it anymore. I don't want to think about anything anymore. I don't want to feel used right now, especially since I fell in love with the girl who used me in the first place.

You're better than her.

She doesn't deserve your love anyway.

Somewhere in the back of my mind, I register that Bella should probably be here by now and that I should start looking for her, talk to her, but instead I sit on this couch and let people surround me. It feels good.

She doesn't care about you.

If I truly meant something to her, why wouldn't she tell me anything? Why keep all of the lies? Why all the secrets?

"If you want my opinion man," Jacob starts again, but I can barely hear him. Something doesn't feel right. My head is spinning and my vision is going blurry. I try to focus on the fireplace in front of me, but I can't do it. Everything is blending together and if someone asked me to, I wouldn't be able to tell you the difference between a dog and a whale. I try to get my bearings back for a few more minutes, but it still doesn't work. I try to focus on something and it's only then that I realize that Jacob is still talking to me. "Bella is nothing but a lying, cheating whore. She doesn't deserve you man. She's done nothing but use you during the duration of your relationship with her."

I stop him right there. "What do you mean?"

"I mean what have you gained through your relationship with her? Trust issues and a couple of fucks in between football games?" He scoffs. "That doesn't exactly sound like a relationship to me. Bella is the only one who is getting anything from you guys being together. She gets your popularity and the entire school is off her back. She gets access to your family and your friends. She gets everything she could have ever dreamed for and you get stuck with problems, drama, and secrets. It doesn't sound very fair if you ask me."

"She's been using me?" I ask in a haze. Something doesn't feel right in my mind. Despite my newfound apprehensiveness, I come to the conclusion that although it doesn't sound like Bella, what Jacob is saying would make a lot of sense.

"Yeah, man. That was her intent all along. She used you man."

I let the thought sit with me for a few minutes.

Bella has been using me this entire time.

I down my beer and Jacob promptly hands me another one. My body feels numb. Despite my anger about my newfound information about Bella, I have this nonchalance feeling overtaking me. It feels… nice. For the first time in forever, I don't have to worry about Bella or what's going on with her. I can just worry about me and relax. I can think about me for once.

Jake leans over to me and gives me another cup of beer. He's been steadily keeping my drink filled ever since we got over here. If I wasn't so drunk, I would think something is up with him, but the liquor helps me relax so I don't question it.

A few more drinks later, Tanya comes over to us and squeezes herself in between Jake and me. "Hi boys," she says in I think is supposed to be a sexy voice. She turns to me and asks, "Where's Bella?"

I snort in response. I'm too drunk to care about Bella right now. "Don't know. Don't care."

She smiles at me. "Sounds like someone could use a little distraction. What do you think, Edward?" She places her hands on my chest and starts toying with the buttons on my shirt.

I look over to Jacob when I hear his voice, "You could get back at her, you know, for using you for a year. It's a year you're never going to get back too. She deserves it, man. All the pain and anger that I know you're feeling right now, make her feel it too. She deserves to be in pain. Do it. Let yourself be happy and carefree for once."

I don't have a chance to respond before Tanya crashes her lips to mine. At first I don't do anything. This isn't me, I'm not a cheater. I would never do this type of thing to Bella, no matter how pissed off I am at her.

Just like she would never use me? Just like she would never lie to me? A voice in the back of my head says.

I think about it for a second, but I don't know if it's the alcohol or my mind who makes me respond to Tanya first.

I deserve this.

I need a distraction from all the lies and heartache and I don't care who it is from. Lips are lips and hands are hands. I don't even hesitate when I pull Tanya into my lap and let her grind her body into mine. She moans in response and it spurs me on. I move my hands to grab her ass and pull her body close to me. Her body against mine feels amazing, especially since Bella and I haven't been intimate in a while.

I hear Tanya moan and feel her start to grind her body more forcefully against mine. The motion goes straight to my dick. I'm about to pick her and take her to the bathroom so I can fuck her, but a gasp interrupts my plans. Tanya promptly gets off of me and turns her attention to our intruder.

It's Bella.

I thought I would feel bad about cheating on her like this, but I don't. I don't feel anything. It's exactly what I had set out to do. I don't feel the pain that she's clearly going through right now as Tanya goes up to her and whispers in her ear. I don't feel any remorse as I see her eyes fill with tears from whatever Tanya said to her. I don't feel anything of importance. I feel numb.

I do, however, get surprised, along with everyone else in the room, when Bella speaks to us. She looks directly in my eyes as she says, "If this is how you treat the people that you love, then I am so fucking happy no one gives a damn about me."

I want to scoff at her. 'No one gives a damn about her?' I give a damn about her! I fucking love her, not that she ever cared about me. She's the one who makes people feel like no one gives a damn about them. Her words literally shatter my heart into pieces, but I can't let it show.

As soon as Bella runs out of the house, the entire party erupts in laughter. Jake looks at me with a sick grin on his face. "Looks like the Freak just knocked herself down all the way to the bottom of the high school food chain. That bitch deserves it." Along with the rest of the crowd, Jake starts laughing too. In an effort to mask the pain I'm really feeling, I laugh along with everyone.

Bella is the talk of the party for the rest of the night and I know it's only going to get worse as time goes on. I tune everything out and just enjoy my nonstop flow of drinks, courtesy of Jacob.

The rest of the party is a blur. Tanya never came back to Jacob and me. There was a never ending flow of girls on my lap the entire night, another one of Jacob's courtesies. The last thing I remember is Jacob and I drinking and drinking until we pass out on the couch sometime around three o'clock the next morning.

I drive home the next morning without saying a word to anyone. I ignore my parents when they ask me about how my night went. I walk straight to my room, strip off my clothes, and flop on my bed.

I'm still so… numb. Everything inside me is completely numb. I don't know how I'm supposed to feel after last night. I cheated on Bella with Tanya and she saw me do it, effectively ending my relationship with her. I thought I was angry because of her constant lies and secrets that she hides from me, but I'm not. I'm… hurt. She broke my heart and she doesn't fucking realize it. That's why I listened to Jacob last night. That's why I made out with Tanya last night. That's why I didn't chase her outside the house last night. She broke my heart, so I want to break hers.

Now I'm… numb.

A/N: So now we have Edward's side of things. Does anyone hate him right now? Anyone hate Jacob? Anyone frustrated with Bella? I hope you all now understand a little more about why Edward did what he did. I hope you understand his side of things and what he's going through with his relationship with Bella. Edward is heartbroken at Bella's words, he is also numb from the alcohol. He knows that his heart is breaking, but he doesn't actually feel it because he's so far gone. Leave me what you think in a review! See you next week (if not sooner)!