A/N: Surprise! Well, not really. This is an early update, not an extra one. I will be out of town next week and won't have access to wifi, so this is the chapter for then. I will update again on August 8.

Thanks to all who reviewed/favorited/followed! All mistakes are mine. I hope ya'll like this chapter! Disclaimer: I don't own anything. TISSUE WARNING. Sorry for the short chapter! Next time is much, much longer!

"'Gonna take this heartbreak, tuck it away. Save it for a rainy day." – Kenney Chesney

Chapter 31

BPOV

April 2010

"Bella, can you stay after class for a few minutes? I need to talk to you about something." When he sees the reluctance in my eyes, he adds, "It's important."

I sigh and nod my head. I haven't really talked to Charlie since he pulled me out of the bathroom at the beginning of the semester. I just don't know what to say to him. There's nothing to stay to him, which makes me wonder what he has to say to me.

When I get up to his desk, I can clearly see the signs of anxiousness all over his features. His eyes have bags underneath them. His hair is unruly, as if he's been running his hand through it multiple times. He has let his mustache and beard grow out longer than normal. Honestly, if I didn't know any better, I'd be worried that he is sick.

After a few minutes of waiting, Charlie's eyes make contact with mine. "I've been meaning to talk to you more, Bella. I've just been so busy with work and everything. This year has just flown by right before my eyes."

At least is has for someone. These past few months have literally dragged on and on for me. I guess that's what happens when you're in a living hell.

Charlie takes a deep breath and tries to visibly relax himself for what he says next. "I got offered a job teaching British Literature at the University of Phoenix, Bella." He pauses for a moment before he continues, probably gaging my reaction to his words. "I leave during the summer. My last day here at Forks High School is the las day of classes, Bella. I'm moving to Arizona." He says gently, as if he's waiting on me to explode.

But I don't. I don't do anything. I don't react when he tells me he's leaving. I should have reacted when he told me that I'm about to be all alone in life once again. I should react, but I just don't.

Without a word, I turn from his desk and walk out the door.

"Bella, wait! Let me explain!" Charlie yells out as I'm opening the door, but I don't listen. I keep walking until I reach my bus. I ignore the distant yelling that I know is coming from Charlie. I know I should stop and listen to what he has to say, but I don't. I don't want to listen to what he has to say. He's leaving me.

I should have known better than to trust Charlie. I should have known not to let him in, and to talk to him about things. Because this is what people that you let in do, they leave you when you need them the most. It happened with my mom. It happened with Edward and Seth. It happened with Emmett and Rosalie. And now it's happening with Charlie. I guess I should've learned my lesson by now. Don't trust anyone. Don't talk to anyone. Don't let anyone in because all they will do is disappoint you.

I thought that Charlie, of all people, would never leave me. With everything that happened with his family and Robert, I thought that he would understand. I guess I was wrong. I should've listened to my gut and never talked to Charlie in the first place. If I never did, I wouldn't be hurting right now.

I'm so caught up in my thoughts that I don't even notice that I almost miss my stop to get off of the bus. When I see my house, pass by I quickly get up and make my way to the front of the bus. When the bus driver sees me, she immediately slams on her breaks which makes everyone and everything on the bus jolt forward. I hear a few complaints out of the rest of the students from the sudden stop, but not many. Most have already been dropped off anyway.

When I get inside my house, I am surprised to see that Phil and Renee are already home. I feel myself becoming more and more nervous with every step inside. Phil's almost never home this early, so something must be going on.

When I walk into the kitchen, I find them both sitting at the kitchen table, looking at me expectantly. "Where have you been, little girl? I've been home for thirty minutes and I still don't have anything to eat yet," Phil practically spits out.

What is he talking about? I just got out of school. How was I supposed to know that he would get off early today and that I had to cook for them earlier?

I see the anger rise in Phil as he takes in my confused expression. "What? You don't have anything to say for yourself, bitch?"

I gulp, but otherwise do not try to react to his question. Anything I do only spurs him on more.

When I don't say anything, Phil gets up and walks over to me.

Oh, no. It is time for my daily punishment.

Phil has been getting more and more creative in his punishments. He never does the same things twice and he makes sure to physically hurt me every day in some way. I really hope today isn't too bad. These past few weeks he's been really mean to my chest and ribs. It's so bad that I wake up coughing up blood on the floor. I just can't seem to catch a break.

The first thing Phil does to me, is hit me. He punches me as hard as he can in the face. I hear a sickening crunch sound when his fist connects with my jaw. I fall to the floor with the amount of force behind the throw. I don't bother getting back up because I know if I did, Phil would just knock me right back down.

I watch as Phil stalks over to me. He raises his fist high and then connects it with my shoulder, my face, my chest, my stomach, anything he could put his hands on really. Punch after punch, I feel myself slowly starting to go numb. I can't feel anything as I watch Phil repeatedly pounds his fist into my body until I'm a bloody pulp.

I don't know when I finally lose consciousness, but it's not long after Phil starts attacking me. Between my other injuries from Phil, the fact that I only eat one small sandwich a day and nothing else, and the amount blood loss from all of my other injuries, I find myself fading into the darkness a lot sooner than I would have if it was a year ago.

I wake up in a pile of blood on the kitchen floor the next morning. I don't remember when Phil stopped his assault on my upper body last night, but I can tell from the soreness everywhere that it must have been a while after I passed out from the pain. I begrudgingly get up and brush my teeth and get ready for school. I make Phil's and Renee's coffee without a second thought and head outside to wait on the bus.

When I walk in to school, I hobble over to my locker and open it. For about a month now, some mysterious Good Samaritan has been leaving a bottle of pain pills, Oxycodone to be exact, and some food for me in my locker every day.

I've spent countless hours trying to figure out who it could be, but every time I come up short of answers. My first thought was Edward. He always brought me food when we were together. Despite his recent interactions with me, I don't think it's him. He hates me. I know he does. I broke his heart, I deserve his hatred. Hell, I hate me for what I did to him too.

I also thought it could have been Charlie, but then I realized that he doesn't know where my locker even is, let alone the code for it.

Despite my constant thoughts about this person, I can never come up with someone who would even want to help me. I mean, I am the Freak after all. No one wants to be seen or associated with me at all costs.

As I start my morning walk to the bathroom, I hear the all too familiar clicking of heels on the floor walking behind me. Not wanting to have to put up with Tanya today, I turn in the closest corridor and start walking there. When I don't hear the sounds of Tanya's shoes behind me, I deem the hallway safe again and start walking back to the bathroom. As I am turning back down the hallway, I run into someone, causing me to fall to the ground.

"Watch where you're going, Freak! I mean, I know you're completely incompetent and all, but seriously! You have eyes! Use them for once and watch where the fuck you are going!" Tanya screeches out.

When I get off the floor and ignore her comments, she starts her verbal assault on me once more. "Why can't you just go kill yourself already? The world will be a better place when you do it!"

I gasp. Out of all of the horrible and nasty things that people have said to me over the past few months, no one has outright said for me to go kill myself. I can't help but feel utterly broken as she continues.

"Seriously, if you died today, you would be utterly forgotten. I treasure the time I don't spend walking the same hallways with you. I treasure the moments that I don't have to breathe the same fucking air as you do. I treasure the moments that you are gone from my mind. I am waiting for the day when you finally realize that you are a insignificant. I can't wait for the moment when you do kill yourself because everyone around you will be happy. So why don't you just do us all a favor and just do it already!"

I choke back a sob. Tanya has always been mean and cruel, but this is just pure maliciousness. How can someone say something like that and have the guts to feel giddy about it? What does she get out of seeing me suffer like this?

Not being able to stand being around her anymore, I quickly walk towards the nearest exit. Thankfully, she doesn't bother following me out.

When the fresh air hits me, it's like a reality check. Why don't I just do it already? I have nothing to live for. I would be doing everyone else a favor by just dying already. No one would even notice that I was missing. There's no reason for me to live anymore, so why don't I just go ahead and get it over with?

I don't have Charlie to think of anymore. He's leaving me. It was always bound to happen. I can never have anything good in my life. I always ruin it someway. I don't deserve to be happy. I think it's time to do the world a favor and end it.

This in mind, I start the walk home. No one would notice if I wasn't in the bathroom or class today. No one would care.

When I get home some two hours later, I am relieved to find the house empty. I really don't want to have to deal with Phil or Renee right now. I walk straight up to my room. I don't even know what to do with myself anymore.

Life really isn't worth living anymore.

With that one thought, my goal of killing myself is my top priority right now. But how to do it? I could cut myself until I finally bleed out, but that would take too long. I want this to be short and as painless as it can be. I've already suffered so much in my life, I don't want my death to make me miserable too.

I could take all of the Oxycodone pills at once and just overdose, but it's too risky. There's no guarantee that it would kill me, especially since I only have six or seven pills left in my most recent bottle.

I think for a few more minutes before the perfect solution hits me. The cliffs at La Push beach. They're high enough to jump off of and die, yet low enough to where I know I'm not going to back out at the last moment in fear.

When will I do it?

It's too late and too far to do it right now. I could take the bus to school tomorrow and just walk from there, that way it wouldn't take me the entire day just to walk to the cliffs.

So it's set. Tomorrow morning, after I get off the bus at school.

The perfect plan in mind, I try to make myself busy for the last hours of my life. But then I think to myself, what do I have left to do? No one cares about me, except for maybe Charlie, but he's leaving me anyway so it doesn't matter.

Still, I find myself heading down to the kitchen in search of a piece of paper and a pen. I don't know why I'm doing this for him. I guess I just feel like I owe him some sort of an explanation as to why I would to this to myself, to him. I head back up to the confines of my bedroom and begin to write.

Charlie,

I don't know why I'm writing this to you, I don't know why I'm writing at all. I guess I just feel like I need to say something to somebody. I want someone to remember me after I'm gone.

I want you to know how much I've appreciated you this past almost two years. You came into my life when I needed someone like you and you've been there for me ever since. I let you in, despite what my head said, and you have never made me question my decision to do it. Until now.

You are leaving me and I can't tell you how much you doing this is hurting me. Since the moment I've met you, you have always been by my side even when… Edward wasn't. You never questioned me or how I deal with things and you've never made me feel inferior to everyone else. You treated me not like one of your students, but like your own daughter and that's what I've come to think of us as. If I've ever had any sort of a real figure in my life, it would be you. And that's what makes you leaving me so hurtful.

You've been in my life for longer than anyone else has, and yet I'm still not good enough for you to make you stay. I know I should be used to it by now. Everyone that I've ever known ends up leaving me in some way. My dad, my real dad, left the moment he knew that my mom was pregnant. My mom left the moment that she realized that I wasn't worth losing her husband over. Edward left the moment that he found someone better. Now you're leaving.

I guess if Phil and Renee were good at anything, it was always being in my life. They were there for every hit, kick, burn, broken bone, and everything else that I received. They were always there to put me in my place. They never hesitated to punish me in any way. They were always constant.

But I can't take it anymore. I can't take all of this pain anymore.

I know people will see my actions as weak or selfish, but I'm not. Killing myself will be my one selfless act. I'm doing everyone a favor by leaving their lives for good. Or at least that's what they're going to think.

I truly am sorry, Charlie. It has never been my intention to hurt you by doing this. I never wanted to be another Robert to you, but this life… it's too much for me. I'm not strong enough to live in a world where I am constantly made fun of, beaten, neglected, and tormented. I've lived this life for sixteen, almost seventeen years. I've done the best that I can do.

One more thing before I stop bothering you for the rest of your life. Will you do a favor for me please? When I'm gone, tell everyone my story. Tell them how I've been brutally abused since I was born. Tell them how Phil hit me. Tell them how Renee sat there and watched and laughed when I would break a bone or bleed. Tell the cops, social services, tell Edward, just tell everyone. I want everyone to know how sick and twisted Phil and Renee are. I want them to suffer. I want them to feel the pain and suffering I have felt for the past thirteen years of my life.

Most importantly, tell everyone because I want to make this never happens to another kid again. Can you do that for me? I want them to be tortured in prison, not beating up another little girl. They deserve prison. They deserve everything that is coming to them.

Thank you for everything, Charlie. If I'm going to miss one thing about this world, it would be you.

Bella Swan

After finishing my letter to Charlie, I find myself writing a letter to Edward. I don't know what instigated me to do it, he does hate me after all. I guess I just had so many things that I wanted to get out before my time here is up.

I quickly write my letter to Edward. Words just start pouring out onto the piece of paper. I didn't realize how much I still wanted to say to him. I only hope he actually reads it instead of just throwing it away. I need him to know and understand some of these things. I don't want to die knowing he hates me, so I hope that this letter will fix that. It holds all of the answers that he has been waiting for.

He deserves to know why I acted the way I did. He was always so kind and open to me and I took that for granted. Even though I was only a bet to him, I still wanted him to know that what I felt for him was real. He deserves that much.

Glancing at the time, I quickly finish writing my letter to Edward. When I'm done, I head downstairs and quickly prepare dinner for Phil and Renee. I make a simple fish fry and hurry back up to my room and wait for my daily punishment.

The universe must be rewarding me for my decision to kill myself because Phil never showed up. I anxiously stayed up the entire night just waiting for Phil to come home in a drunken haze to beat me, but it never happened. My last night alive and he finally decides to spare me. I roll my eyes at the irony.

The next morning, I quickly put on the same pair of jeans and shirt that I wear every day and walk straight out the door. I don't see or talk to Phil or Renee. I don't make them their normal morning coffee either. It's my little 'fuck you' farewell present to them.

I get on the bus and sit at the first empty seat that I see. Because I'm not actually going to any of my classes today, I don't have anything to carry on the bus, save my letters for Edward and Charlie. I don't know how I can give them their letter without giving away what I am doing. I know Edward hates me and couldn't care less if I went and killed myself, but a tiny part of me thinks that if Charlie knew what I was doing, he would try and stop me.

When we pull into the school, I thank my lucky stars that there is hardly anyone in the parking lot. This means that no one will see me put my letters to their respective places. I quickly walk inside and find Edward's locker. Since his car wasn't in the parking lot, I know he hasn't been to his locker yet. I know that this is the first place that he goes when he gets to school.

Looking around to make sure no one is watching me, I swiftly shove the letter inside of Edward's locker and make my way to Charlie's classroom. I peek inside of the window and note that he's not in there. I open the door, put the letter on his desk in a spot where he can see it, and walk back out.

Without any further things to do, I promptly walk back outside into the cold and make my way to La Push. I walk for a solid hour before I see signs of the cliffs and the beach. The hike up the cliff is a killer in itself. Due to my clumsiness, I trip over tree roots and rocks with every step I take. What a normal person could walk in about thirty minutes, I walk, and trip up, for an hour.

When I get to the edge of the cliff, I take a deep breath and look down. It's most definitely high enough to kill a person. The thought of having to jump down there causes me to stop in my tracks and think.

Do I really want to go out like this?

What if jumping doesn't kill me?

I take one more glance down at the water below.

Then the rocks will definitely finish the job.

Or the freezing cold temperature of the water.

I can die of hypothermia, right?

With one last glance at the water, I close my eyes and begin to walk to the edge.

I guess this is it.

Goodbye, world.

A/N: Duh, duh, duh! This is it. Bella finally decided to kill herself. What do you think about this chapter? Do you think she made the right choice? What about her letter to Charlie? What about her letter to Edward? Thoughts on that? Next up EPOV. See you next time!