© Ellie Goodson 2016

Chapter Sixteen-Taken from the monster's den

~Arabella Jones~

I watched with mournful eyes as the clown in the purple suit trailed out of the kitchen in a dazed state. I couldn't understand what had just happened. One moment we were kissing, and it was hot and perfect and beautiful, so beautiful. And then the next moment, the kiss had just stopped. Just ended and the Joker was walking away from me. His head was down, shoulders slumped, and he seemed to be in a ghostly daze as he just left. Without looking back.

I felt as confused as he looked. Had I done something wrong? I could've sworn that he had kissed me first. Maybe he hadn't expected that of himself, or expected me to kiss him back? But to just leave me like that, standing aimlessly in the middle of the kitchen, that was cruel, even for a man like him. It felt like my heart should break, but at the same time I wanted to be strong and brave. I wasn't going to let it be, there was definitely going to be some form of discussion about that kiss. That kiss changed things, it meant something. He couldn't just leave me.

I wiped tears from under my eyes and cheeks that I hadn't even realised were even there. Sniffing to myself, I put everything away and wiped over my mouth. I had red lipstick on my lips from our kiss, a kiss that most likely meant nothing to the Joker. I shook my head, forcing myself to be strong and walk out of the kitchen with my head held high. I wasn't going to let him hurt me, or at least I wasn't going to show him or anyone else.

I moved quickly as I made my way back to the Joker's bedroom, praying to god that I didn't run into anyone. I just wanted to crawl into bed, and be left alone to wallow in my own misery. Why did I have to be so foolish? To develop such feelings for a man that would obviously only hurt me? I was an idiot, and probably belonged in Arkham myself. That was where all of the psychopaths who couldn't control themselves went.

Hating myself for being so weak, I wiped furiously under my eyes as more tears continued to stream down my cheeks. I was hurt, and I was witnessing immense pain that I had never felt before. The suffering in my leg continued to cause me hell as the pain only worsened in my heart. And it was all caused by the Joker. But, when I eventually reached the Joker's room, I was greeted by quite the surprise.

Somewhere on the purple sheets were three familiar and feminine figures. A woman dressed in all black, with killer flexibility skills, perched on the edge of the bed in a crouched position. Catwoman. Hanging upside down, with blonde pigtails and an adorable baby face, was Harley. And finally, sat upright on the bed in a tense position, was a green woman with fiery red hair who also had green vines tangled around her body. Poison Ivy. I stopped mid footstep, absorbing the curious picture in front of me. All of the girls shifted their eyes so that all attention was on me, and I felt incredibly uncomfortable.

I was first to speak but only because I got there first. "What are you doing here? The Joker will kill you if he finds you're in his warehouse, let alone his room!" My words spilled out of my mouth through gritted teeth, as I tried to keep my panicked voice low.

"You're coming with us." Ivy replied, blunt and deadly serious.

"I'm sorry, what?"

"The clown shot you; we all decided that you weren't safe here. So you're coming with us, we'll keep you safe." It was Catwoman who spoke this time, not Ivy. Her voice purred as she spoke, even the way she spoke was elegant and yet ferocious.

I shook my head, taking a couple steps back. "If you take me, he'll definitely kill you all. I-I can't risk that!" The truth was, I didn't want to leave. I wanted to stay, to talk to the Joker about the kiss and so many other things.

"What are we to you but pieces of meat anyways, huh? Like we mean anything to ya." Harley's face had gone a light shade of red by now, all the blood was rushing to her head.

"I treated both you and Ivy while in Arkham. And I've had a fair share of visits from Catwoman. I may not understand any of you, but I know you. And I don't put people I know in danger."

"You know yourself though, and yet you took a bullet for me." Harley replied, allowing me to understand that I had saved her life.

"That's different." The blonde girl, who looked a lot younger without her jester outfit, raised her eyebrows at me, telling me to continue. "I don't matter."

Catwoman got up suddenly then, approaching me with feline abilities. "Your leg is healing, slowly and painfully, but healing. How?" I didn't want to tell them that the Joker had sorted my leg for me, that moment seemed too special to share.

"I got one of the goons to give me a medical kit, did it myself. It didn't look like I was heading to a hospital any time soon." I had the ability to lie smoothly, the words pooled out of my mouth without any hesitation. She studied my face, before nodding her head and opening the window. It occurred to me then that the window couldn't have been opened, that it had a lock on it. And...how did they get in here?

I was too tired to question it, and my exhaustion only sunk further as I saw that the sun was beginning to rise in Gotham's sky. "Are you coming with us, or not?" Ivy spoke up again, rising from her position on the bed. It was the first time she'd spoken since the start of the encounter.

"Ivy, what you did hurt me. But I know that it had to be done. He threatened what you cared about most. Stop being so hostile." The words made a smile appear on both of our faces, as we relived the memory of our first session. "So I'm coming, and if anything goes wrong, we'll protect each other."

"Because that's what friends are for!" Harley chipped at the end, and I found myself grinning as the woman, who acted like a little girl, jumped around the room. The atmosphere just her presence created could bring out the inner child in anyone.

Ivy snaked solid green vines down the building, and all three girls began to climb down them. Hesitantly, I caught hold of one of the plants, careful not to grip too hard, and began to slide down. It broke my heart, knowing that-for the second time-I was abandoning the Joker. Leaving him without any form of explanation. I was tempted to climb back up the vines, just run back to him and promise him I would never leave him again, but my body continued to climb further and further away from the Joker and his room.

Reaching the bottom, I jumped the final part and landed with my knees bent. Catwoman jumped from a couple feet higher than me, landing in a crouched position. Ivy continued to snake her way down, with the vines guiding her gracefully. Harley was abseiling down the vines, hopping like a rabbit. When everyone was at the bottom of the vines, we began to walk away from the warehouse.

I put my hands over my face, feeling immense guilt settle in my stomach. This wasn't like last time; I had deliberately left him with no excuse. "What have I done? I'm going to get us all killed, he's going to be so hurt and so angry when he finds out. This is the second time, the second time, that I've abandoned him just because I felt like it." I ran my fingers through my hair, causing my ponytail to loosen and giving myself a crazed look.

"Chill, Bella. It's fine."

"I take it all of you know my name now?" I was trying desperately to distract myself from the guilt that was exploding within me like fireworks.

"Sure do. But, let's know more about you." Harley rested her arm on my shoulder, flashing me a grin.

I frowned to myself, not knowing what to say. "I'm twenty-two, I don't have a lot of contact with my family, no love life what so ever, barely even have a social life, and I've spent my whole life since I was twelve trying to become a psychiatrist." I shrugged my shoulders effortlessly, my fingers tying themselves into knots. There really wasn't much to me. I wasn't anything special, which is why I couldn't understand why I meant so much to the Joker. I must have meant something to him for him to go through all of these efforts in keeping me with him. And then there was that time when Catwoman said I meant something to Batman. It was all too confusing for me; I was too exhausted to bother with trying to piece the pieces of the puzzle together.

Harley dropped her arm from my shoulder, scratching her head. "Well you sure are something. First time anyone has ever taken a bullet for me. Never would've thought if from you."

"Thanks?" I laughed lightly and shook off Harley's words. She meant well, I'm sure. It became obvious then that we were heading back for Catwoman's apartment. What we'd be doing there, I had no idea.

All I knew was that, at some point, I'd be back with the Joker. Whether that was because I returned to him or he came for me, I didn't know. It wasn't like I could predict the future or anything. But all I knew was that it would end in tears and someone getting hurt. It always did with the Joker. I knew that I wanted to be back with him. I wanted to be held in his arms once more, taste his hot kiss that sent fire rippling up my spine and feel his fingers brush against my skin, sending electric shocks all over my body.

But that didn't look like it was going to happen any time soon. And so I followed the girls to Catwoman's apartment in a daze. Lost in my longing thoughts of the Joker, just simply following and not processing anything. I wanted to feel the heat, the hot fire that caused me blissful pain. The aching, burning fire that only he could cause. I wanted to go back to that moment, the moment that the kiss had ended, and stop him from walking away. I wanted to pull him back against me and kiss him harder, and I mentally kicked myself for letting him leave.

The sorrow that had I bubbled myself in was suffocating. I wanted to run back to him so badly, to just kiss him again and not care about anything else. But some part of me thought, knew, that this space was needed. I needed to clear my mind and know for sure that I was in love with the Joker, and that I wanted things to go as far as a second kiss. Because that would be a complete game changer, if I let him know that I wanted more, so much more.

No matter how hard I tried to shake the clown from my thoughts, he remained circling my brain all night. Even when the girls fell asleep, one by one, after hours of conversation and cups after cups of tea and coffee, he was still on my mind as I lapped the apartment, unable to sleep. I wanted him so bad, but I needed to be away from him more. And so, painfully, I stayed away from the Joker. Not sleeping or resting, but simply away.