ARGH! I just realised that FFN won't let me use crossed out lettering. Please note that anything underlined (apart from the title) is a crossed out word. It'll make much more sense this way.
Mid-Year Break has Broken, Much Like My Hymen
It has been a little over two weeks since I lost my virginity to the hottest guy in school. It's been just as long since I've heard from said boy.
Don't get me wrong, I never expected roses and chocolates, but a text would have been nice. I gave the guy my V card for God's sake! To the tune of 'Sex on Fire' by KOL I might add. It was the most spectacular two and a half minutes of my life. The least he could do was acknowledge me.
Especially since I'm pregnant with his child. Of course he doesn't know that … yet, and neither do I. I mean, sure, there's two lines on all six tests, but if you can get false negatives, surely you can get false positives, too?
Staring at the tests does nothing to ease the overwhelming sense to hurl, but I can't help myself. Maybe if I focus on them long enough, I will see that they're all negative and this is all just some horrible nightmare…
Nope.
Today is our first day back at school after mid-year break. Today, I have to tell Edward Cullen that I am carrying his illegitimate love child. His sperm and my egg had a party of their own. Birds lay eggs and bees pollinate. I'm pregnant … hyperventilating
The world looks a little different when my head is bowed between my legs. A little upside down and topsy turvey, but nothing as twisted and cockeyed as what's going on inside my mind.
I am pregnant. Pregnant!
I reach for my lap top and type the word out.
It's a horrible word. With its bloated P and the g sitting in the middle like a pair of perky B cups, taunting you that they'll never look this good again. Speaking of which, mine are in agony, and have been for three days now. That, and the mysterious disappearance of my very regular menstrual cycle, is what led me to sneaking out of the house to buy boxes of tests yesterday.
"Isabella! Time to go!"
Oh shit! School.
I hide the tests in my top draw and head downstairs to join my parents in the dining room. Mum grabs her keys and ushers me out. I'm relieved that I don't have to stand around and make small talk, pretending that today is like every other day. I kiss the photo of my sister, as I do every morning, and follow mum to the car.
I may not have had to fake it at home, but I didn't think about the seven minute car ride to school. The ability to chit chat about nonsensical things when your whole world has been spun off its axis is like trying not to squint when looking directly into the sun. Mum notices something is wrong, but she seems to believe me when I tell her I'm just a little anxious about going back to school.
It's a half-truth after all. It's not just Edward I have to worry about. The rumour mill is going to have a field day with me. Not only did I, loner girl Izzy, sneak out to go to a party, but I got high for the first time, and had sex for the first time. Although not many people were upstairs at the time, I know that at least three people saw Edward and I walk down the stairs, minutes apart, looking slightly disheveled.
Getting out, I say goodbye to mum and close the door behind me. I look around to try and gauge if anyone's staring at me, but everyone seems too deep in conversations about what they did during the break to give me a second glance. I'm confused, but decide it's a good thing and head toward my home room.
I stop short at the door to the class room when I see Edward at his locker across the hall. He turns and smiles in my direction. I can't believe it. I feel winded.
"I didn't think you were gonna show up," he says casually.
I open my mouth to reply.
"Well, I thought about it," a deep voice says from behind me.
I turn and see Edward's best friend, Jasper Hale walk by. Instinctively, I look down at my feet and step into my class.
My chest feels so heavy that it aches, and I'm so concerned about the possibility that I might be having a stress induced heart attack, that I almost miss the whispering going on in front of me.
"So is it true?" I can't remember her name, the one talking, they all look so alike. With their hair flipping and blindingly white fake smiles, it's hard to pick out the Brittany's from the Chelsea's.
"What?" Asks her companion as she flips her hair.
"That girl and Edward at Brittany's party?"
I find myself frozen in place as though the slightest movement would alert them to my eavesdropping.
"Nah, he said nothing happened, that they just kissed. He said she was too frigid. I mean did you see her? She looked like a twelve year old in that dress! I have no idea what she was doing there in the first place. Who invited her?"
"Nobody I know, that's for sure." The girls laugh and the sound churns up my insides.
I find my seat and sink down into it, hoping upon all hope that the world will just swallow me up. I'm so repulsive. Of course he wouldn't tell people that we slept together. Not only was he not going to acknowledge me, he denied me.
Fuck my life.