Man it's been a long night
Just sitting here, trying not to look back
Chapter 2:
I felt tears gather in my eyes, as I widened them in shock.
„I fell for you Lucy."
His words echoed through my head a million times and it tore my insides apart. My arms fell to my sides, while his were still tightly wrapped around me.
„I can't stand seeing you with that pink haired flame brain. It hurts too bad."
I felt the tears stream down my face, whilst I let his words sink in a little further.
„But you look so happy around him. After all, I only want you to be happy, you know?"
I felt his grip tighten around me and I could here his voice crack. I was, no, am the one you put him through this? Who caused him such terrible pain, that even he, Gray Fullbuster, couldn't stand? I was at loss of words. Again. What should I do?
„I'm sorry Gray.. I'm so terribly sorry-" I paused, as he pushed himself away from me. He looked so hurt. So defenseless.
Still looking at the road we never drove on
And wondering if the one I chose was the right one
„Oh, no need to continue.. I know what is about to come.." I heard him mumble, his voice full of pain and misery and his eyes dull, yet so full of emotions.
Not bearing to look at him, I stared down at my hands. Seeing him like this and knowing he's in this vulnerable condition just because of me,broke my heart. How can I help him out of this black whole? I couldn't return his feelings, even though I wished I could have. I couldn't just leave him like this either. After all, I'm not heartless. Suddenly, all the memories of Natsu and me popped up in my head. I remembered the day Natsu and I got together.. Gray was nowhere to be found that day. Whenever Natsu pulled me in his embrace and placed soft kisses on my skin, Gray looked so annoyed. I thought it was just some kind of joke.. How could I be so oblivious and dense? How did I not notice?
„I'll help you, Gray.. Just come back home, please.." My voice was barely above a whisper and that was a bit unnerving, but I guess I just didnt't have the guts to raise my voice a little.
„I can't, Lucy. And you know why."
Wow that sounded harsh. But I suppose he's got a point there.
I gathered all my strength to eventually lift my gaze, as my eyes met his. Just then I realized how his expression had hardened. He looked somewhat... emotionless and perhaps even a little angry. But he had the right to be mad at me for I broke his heart. Slowly torturing him more each day.
Oh, but I'm scared to death
That there may not be another one like this
„I know, but I can't just leave you like this, can I? Also everyone in the guild is worried about you. We're your nakama, Gray. Don't you remember what you learned, when you were about to sacrifice yourself to save us from Deliora? It's not about giving your life away for the sake of your friends, it's about continuing to live for them." I tried to raise my voice a little and I felt my lips curl into a small sincere smile.
And I was glad when I saw his expression soften. I guess, I reached him with what I said. At least I hoped so. Though his eyes still looked sad. But not in a pained way, more in a touched way. Yes, I think my words really reached him.
„Alright... But only for you." He mumbled quietly, lowering his gaze
I felt my smile grow and took his hand.
„But no more alcohol, okay?" I said, dragging him out of the old, rotten house. Now, that I think about it, that house somehow represented Gray. It was so fragile and broken, yet big and impressive. Left behind to slowly rot and eventually die. But there remained a small candle, lighting it up. A small glint of hope in the dark.
„Fine.." I heard him murmur lowly, as we left the house and headed back toward the guild.
And I confess
That I'm holding on by a thin, thin thread
As we reached the huge guild hall and finally entered, we were first greeted by countless blank stares and big disbelieving eyes.
„Are you just gonna keep on staring or..?"
And soon the first few people, who were of course Mira, Levy, Happy and Juvia, came to greet us with a reeaally tight hug. I guess Juvia mainly hugged Gray, because of rather obvious reasons. But soon the others joined in. It felt made me feel so loved. And I guess I wasn't the only one. Finally I saw Gray smile again. Oh, how much I missed that gorgeous smile of his, even though it was just a brief smirk. Everything seemed so perfect, but one thing was missing..
Where is Natsu?
But for the moment I could have cared less. Perhaps I was even a little glad, that he wasn't there since that would have only pulled Gray's mood down.
And so I focused back on what was happening around me. Apparently they now started a party, which was just what I expected. I mean, this is Fairy Tail, duh. And so the party went on and I have to admit, I really enjoyed it, due to the fact that Gray seemed to be himself again. I felt like I got my Gray back. The one I used to call my best friend. Though I knew it was only temporary. After all Natsu and I were still together. And I knew for sure, Gray was bound to get hurt again. But this was better than nothing at all, right?
I'm kicking the curb, 'cause you never heared
The words that you needed so bad
- After the party -
I put the key into the keyhole and turned it to the side, opening the door to my apartment and entering it. It was all dark, well, just as expected. I turned the light on just to see Natsu laying in my bed, snoring like an old man. A small giggle escaped my lips at the sight. He looked so peaceful und cute when he was asleep. So I decided to join him, just like every other night too. I changed into my pyjamas and snuggled up to the sleeping Natsu, trying not to wake him. I kissed his cheek and whispered a soft „goodnight", before letting the darkness take over and drifting off to sleep.
And I'm kicking the dirt, 'cause I never gave you
The things that you needed to have
Oh, little did I know back then. But well, I guess I can't blame myself for being so blind, can I?
I'm so sad, sad
I'm so sad, so sad