Author's Note: None is mine, unfortunately. If it was, we'd have a Marauder's Map series on BBC. I have it all planned out in my head.
Lily had read hundreds of books in the medical field, as nearly every job at the Ministry of Magic required a certain training skill. Every one of them had warned about people going into shock. It didn't matter if they were the person injured or just an innocent bystander, shock was deadly, but it always had been the least of Lily's concerns. She had rather concentrated on the interesting texts about how to treat spell wounds and flesh wounds, as she deemed that a lot scarier than just the stupid shock.
Oh, how wrong she had been.
In that moment, as all the colour, no all life, drained from Sirius Black's face, she noticed how powerful the shock was.
Sirius was, if she wanted to admit it or not, one of the most powerful people she knew. She had heard the stories about his family. At first she had scoffed at them. There must be a reason why Black was so spoiled, surely his family was wealthy and put him on the highest stool ever.
No such thing.
She had seen the encounters between him and his brother; him and his cousins. She had heard the story Andromeda, a girl who had been Head Girl when Lily was in First Year. She had seen her a few times after, with the Hufflepuff Head boy, having insults thrown at her head by various Black family members. That's when she had first admitted it, Sirius was strong.
And now not.
He fell to the ground, a mass of bones and muscle and meat, with no strength to hold it all together. He pressed his face into the ground, maybe smelling the soil, maybe feeling nothing at all.
Dumbledore was with him in an instant. "What is it, Sirius, are you hurt? Did he... did it hurt you?"
Sirius stared up at Dumbledore with large, blank eyes. Behind him, Peter whimpered.
After quickly scanning both boys and Lily for injury and finding nothing, Dumbledore helped Sirius to his feet. He stumbled and Lily stretched out her hand to catch him, but he recoiled.
"Don't touch me."
The words were clear as day, the meaning clear. She took a deep breath and stepped back. Peter reached for her arm. She smiled at him weakly. He needed the support.
A young boy in his pyjamas saw them walk past. He gasped at the sight of Sirius' blood-trenched clothes.
James' Blood.
Dumbledore quietly told him to go back to his room. Peter grabbed her arm tighter.
Finally they reached the office. "Caramel Fudge," Dumbledore said to the gargoyle, who nooded respectfully.
In the office Sirius collapsed on a chair without Dumbledore's support. Peter let go of Lily's arm and sat down, too. Dumbledore nodded to another chair, but Lily shook her head. She couldn't find the strength.
Dumbledore sat down in the chair he had offered. It made a screeching sound as it scraped over the ground and Peter flinched, but Sirius didn't even look up.
Dumbledore cleared his throat. "I know this is not a good time, but I need to know what you were doing with Remus there. We have had a conversation like this before, you know that he is a werewolf, and, as you are all very good friends, I suspect you also know that today is the full moon."
Peter shuffled for an answer.
"We... we were bringing him there, like every full moon. We know there is not much to do, but we just like to let him know that he is not alone."
"Of course," Dumbledore said, nodding. "You, Lily?"
Lily looked up. She opened her mouth to give the reason, but it seemed so petty now. Why had she gone after them? She had known that tonight was the full moon, so why? She should have known that James would have a reason.
She shrugged helplessly, tears burning in her eyes.
Dumbledore leaned forward. "I brought... it back into the Shrieking Shag. Someone had broken open the door."
For the first time, Slughorn spoke up. "Someone did this on purpose?"
Dumbledore nodded. "I suspect so. It was actually a really good idea. Open the shaft with the werewolf in, have a massacre when he gets into the school, and the headmaster who let him into the school is at fault. Easy. Causes terror in your own ranks, along with murder."
"Remus... is a good person," Lily rasped out. When did her throat get so dry?
"I have no doubt that Mr Lupin has an excellent character, Lily," Dumbledore said. "I just don't think he's that agreeable as a werewolf, but I also don't believe that's his fault. Indeed, he's kept a very optimistic attitude through it all. Other men have failed at it."
Lily nodded slowly, biting her lip hard. She should have known that Dumbledore didn't doubt Remus' character.
In that instant, the floo burned up, and Professor McGonagall stepped into the room.
For the first time, Sirius looked up.
McGonagall also had blood stains down her robe. For the first time, Lily became aware of just how much blood James had lost since the attack. In McGonagall's eyes there was a look of defeat, opposing to the stormy fight across her features.
Dumbledore got up. "Minerva, how is he?"
McGonagall smiled briefly. The look of defeat rested. "Not good. They checked him. They are keeping him alive."
Her bottom lip quivered and her voice shook as she spoke again.
"We should call in the Potter's. For last... goodbyes."
Dumbledore inhaled sharply. Slughorn fell back against the bookshelf in surprise. Peter sank forward. Sirius jumped up. All the life had suddenly returned to his eyes, but they didn't look like him. They didn't have the mischief spark in them, instead clouding over with something it took a minute for her to recognize.
Hate.
"This is your fault!" His voice was rising, accusation stapling every word. "Why did you have to come after us?"
He crossed the room until he was directly in front of Lily. "Why? We could have held it, but you... running for help, it wanted to follow you, it wanted you most."
Dumbledore stepped away from his desk. "Sirius, Lily is not at fault. It attacked James on his own accord -"
"Like hell! James threw himself in front of it, because it wanted to attack Lily, and he'd rather die than see that happen, how can you not see?"
McGonagall stepped in now. Lily wished she would let it go. "Now, Mr Black, I doubt that it was like that. I'm sure it was in accident. Besides, what reason would Mr Potter have to go into attack so blindly for a person he barely knows?"
Sirius' head dropped. His next words were barely audible. "Because he is in love with her."
"I'm sorry?"
His head whipped up. "Because he loves her more than life itself! All those years... all those detentions about harassing Lily Evans, you telling him to just let this stupid joke go, and all the while he loved her! You may say this is not true, but then you don't know him, you haven't heard him go on and on about her for hours, never shutting up about her, never, even if he tried, getting even remotely attracted to another girl."
He closed his eyes and, as he reopened them, they were filled with desperation. "Did you know, Lily, that he asked his mother for her engagement ring in fucking first year? He told her that he had met the girl he loved and wanted to marry, and that he wanted to keep it, just in case the opportunity might arise? Even back then, for some reason, he wanted to spend his entire life with you. And you know what? He never grew out of it. He still wants you. And now he will die for you, just as he would have wanted it. His life for yours."
And just like that, Sirius was done. He dropped down to the floor, heaving in silent sobs.
McGonagall stood frozen, mid-step. Slughorn looked like his eyes were going to pop out of his head. Only Dumbledore didn't look surprised one bit. Peter looked more surprised by Sirius's sudden outburst.
Silent tears rolled down Lily's cheeks. She didn't know why. Maybe because now, she had proof that she had been too harsh when judging James Potter, and now it was too late. He was going to die.
"I'm sorry," she mouthed at Sirius, sinking down beside him.
"That's the worst thing," Sirius stated unhappily. "I can't even be mad at you. James wouldn't want it."
They stared at each other for a few more moments. Then Sirius cleared his throat.
"This sucks," he stated. Lily nodded.
And then, without knowing how exactly it happened, they were hugging.