Lucky number 13? Another long one (well for this story anywho).
Looking In
My mother wastes no time questioning me about what happened and why Edward was here. I tell her I have no idea, but fill her in on the past hour of my life.
"Well, I'm glad both Edward and Angela were there for you." Is all she says.
I find it strange that she's not once said a bad word about Edward despite all he's said and done to me, but I don't have a chance to question why, because my father has just walked in the door.
He is a whole six foot of stress and worry.
"I'm fine, Dad, I'm fine!" I reassure him as he hugs me.
He kisses mum on the top of her head and sits next to her. My mother fills him in on what the doctor said and I watch his shoulders relax a little as the news sets in.
"Oh, and she found out what sex the baby is," Mum finishes.
"You did?" He looks to me and I'm surprised to see a hint of excitement in his voice.
I nod and smile at him. "It's a girl."
"A girl. Wow." He contemplates the news for a while and then changes the subject. "So, when can you get out of here?"
"Tomorrow," I reply glumly. I'm really not looking forward to sleeping on this horrible stiff hospital bed. It's hard enough trying to get comfortable in my own bed.
My parents stick around for a while and then leave together to get me some clothes and my toiletries. It's during this time that I get a text from Angela.
Edward told me what's going on. I'm so glad that you and your baby girl are okay. How are you feeling?
This is one thing I love about Angela, she doesn't use text speak in her text messages. I can never understand most of it and I'd much rather read a sentence than a jumble of letters.
Bored. Hospital sucks. How's school?
School is different. Will explain when I see you x
The urge to pee is much too strong for me to text back what could have possibly changed in the last three classes. When I've finished and go to wipe, there is more blood. Panic sets in and freezes my heart. I take two deep breaths to try and relax my thoughts before hitting the red nurse button.
I am put back to bed, and then on a machine that wraps around my belly. The sound of baby's heart rate fills the room. The nurse gets me a glass of juice, a day old sandwich and makes sure the T.V remote and nurse call button are within reach, before leaving me to fester in the chaos of my own mind.
I have been listening to the galloping of my baby's heart for about ten minutes when my parents walk back in. My mum is now out of her old lady slacks that she wears to work and has swapped them for jeans. My dad is no longer in his police uniform and has opted for shorts and a tee. They both look pretty worried to see me laid up this way.
"I had another bleed, so they're just monitoring the baby," I explain as calmly as possible.
"Oh, Izzy!" Mum rushes to my bedside and kisses my forehead.
I tell her it's fine and look past her to dad. Dad is frozen in place and is staring at my rounded belly. I'm guessing it's the first time he's seen it. I have been wearing rather loose clothing the last month or so, and, while I'm not large, I definitely look pregnant now.
A knock at the door startles him and he turns to see both doctor Cullens at the door. He shakes Mr Cullens hand and they both hug my mother before turning to me.
"How you feeling?" Esme asks.
I shrug, and consider just giving her an okay, but decide to be honest. "Scared and overwhelmed."
"It's a scary thing, bleeding during pregnancy, but I promise you, we are going to do everything possible to keep baby in there. I've seen this before and, more often than not, the clot goes away on its own," she reassures me.
"I heard it's a baby girl!" Carlisle tries changing the subject to a more upbeat one.
I can't help but smile. "Yep! She's not even here and she's already causing trouble. I hope she's better behaved when she's out. Well, hopefully she's nothing like her mother, at least," I try to joke.
"I hope she's everything like her mother," Esme replies.
"Me, too," Carlisle agrees.
I feel all gooey inside from their compliments and spend the next twenty minutes trying to think of my good attributes, while the adults talk among themselves. By the time the Cullen's have left I'm feeling pretty chuffed with my list of pros. I guess I am a pretty good person, despite this one mistake.
Come dinner time mum and dad take one look at my slop on a plate and then take off to get their own tea. Mum says she's organised the day off work tomorrow and will stop by first thing in the morning. I'm left to eat my Chum on my own.
It's only about seven PM, but I am just getting comfortable and thinking I might be able to get some sleep tonight, when I hear a text come through on my phone.
Mum told me what happened. Is there anything I can do?
I curse at the way my heart skips a beat whenever I see his name.
Let me sleep? I joke. Hoping that he takes it as such and being slightly too tired to care if he doesn't. Then I think of something else. I'd maim for a cheeseburger.
Five minutes later there is no reply.
Ten minutes later I think stuff it, I'm just going to go to sleep, and I turn out the light.
Fifteen minutes later I hear my door open and close. I roll over to see a hulking shadow near my bed. I switch the night light on to see Edward standing with a McDonald's bag, drinks, and a sheepish grin.
"I hope you like coke?" he says before holding out the bag to me.
I sit up in a shot and snatch it from him. I open the bag and see a Big Mac on top. I pull it out in disgust.
"That's mine," he snatches it from me and I dig back into the bag.
A big yummy triple cheeseburger with bacon remains, with two large fries. I could kiss him. Instead, I unwrap my burger and I'm just about to wolf it down when I see him plucking the pickles out of his big mac. I open the top of my burger and offer him a safe haven for those delicious morsels. He smiles up at me and shakes his head in amusement. Once he's placed them in, I grip my burger and hoe into it like I haven't eaten in weeks.
Nothing is said while we eat. I eat the whole burger, all of my fries, and half of his, before sucking down half of my coke. Once all the rubbish is put away, I collapse back into my partially raised bed, and sigh.
"That was amazing," I declare. "How did you know I wanted bacon?" I add.
"Who doesn't like bacon?" he replies.
It's true. Bacon is quite possibly the most amazing food ever created.
"How did you get in here?" I ask, to prevent an awkward silence from setting in.
"There's this thing they have nowadays called doors."
I look across at him to see him smiling and I smile back begrudgingly. "Smart ass."
He shrugs. "No one was around so I just walked in as quietly as I could."
Silence envelopes us once again and I try to find something else to rest my eyes on so I don't look like I'm staring at him. I settle on the door handle.
"I don't think I've ever seen a girl eat like that before," he chuckles.
"Yeah, well, you didn't see the Chum I got served earlier. Besides, I am eating for two you know." I roll onto my back and rub my belly.
His smile falls from his face. "I never realised, until today, just how, um, big, errr … round you are," he reveals.
"You're not the only one. My dad freaked out today, too." I chuckle at the memory.
I suddenly feel really tired and I let my eyes close for a second.
"I'll go and let you get some sleep."
"Thanks for the cheeseburger," I say with my eyes still closed.
"It was nothing," he mentions.
I hear him get up from the chair, but I can't let him go, not without asking what I've been thinking all day.
"Edward?"
"Hmmm?"
"Why did you come today? I thought you didn't want anything to do with … all of this?" I open my eyes to garner his reaction.
He looks right into me, and there's a hard edge to his tone as he speaks. "I never said that."
"You told me to get rid of it. Of her." I'm feeling irritated at his sudden anger.
"I was scared, Bella. I'm still scared. You've never given me a chance to be anything other than on the outside looking in. You shut me out from the very beginning."
"That's not true. I asked if you wanted to come to the adoption agency," I point out.
"Yeah, but what you didn't ask me, is if I wanted to adopt out our baby. We made a baby, you and me. It should have been our decision. You barely gave me a chance to get used to the idea before you were telling me what you had decided." He catches himself and takes a deep breath. I can see that he's trying to reign in his temper and stop himself from going on a rampage of sorts. "That day, after you told me that you wanted to adopt her out, I tried to tell you that I didn't mean what I'd said earlier, that I just needed a little bit more time, but you were so determined to shut me out. I'm not the only person in the wrong here. It's time you start taking some of the blame."
With that, he turns and walks out the door.
I mentally pull out my pros column and underline a new one next to it. Cons. After a few minutes of consternation, I decide I need help. I pick up my phone and make a call. It rings for ages and I am just about to hang up before it goes to voicemail, when I hear it pick up.
"Hello," he sounds defeated.
"Hey, um, so I've got this list that I've been working on and I was hoping I could get your help?" I ask tentatively.
There's a pause and I think he's hung up, but when I look at my phone it says it's still connected.
"What kind of list?" I hear eventually.
"Uh, it's called the pros and cons of Isabella Swan, and I figured that you'd be rather pro at helping me with the cons side of things."
I can hear a smile in his voice. "Are you sure you have enough pages in front of you?"
"Probably not, but I could always write them on my arm if I run out of space."
Another pause follows and I almost forgot what we were talking about when he finally speaks and brings me back to the subject at hand.
"Stubborn."
"Stubborn," I repeat, as if I'm writing it down.
"Scary."
"Scary?"
"Yeah, you're scary. I wouldn't want to get into a debate with you … well, anymore debates with you, because, well, you can be scary."
"Um, okay. Scary."
"Aloof."
"Aloof?"
"Are you going to question me all night or are you going to write these down?"
"Writing it down. Aloof." I can't help but giggle at this description of me. My parents call me ditzy, but I prefer Edward's description of aloof.
"Blunt. Which is part of why you're scary."
"Okay, got it, blunt."
"Self-centred."
"Ouch."
He's silent.
"But true, carry on," I encourage him.
"Beautiful, smart, kind, brave and confident. They should all go in the pros column. Just in case you needed help with that one, too."
I smile into the phone and kick my legs under the blanket to express my giddiness as silently as possible.
"Thanks." I don't know what else to say.
"Anytime. Goodnight, Bella."
"Goodnight. Oh, Edward?"
"Hmm?"
"Why do you call me Bella? The only person that called me Bella was –"
"Alice? Yeah, I know, but that's a discussion for another time."
"Okay. And Edward?"
"Yeah?"
"I don't think I can do it, the adoption I mean."
"Bella?" He whispers my name and it makes my heart lurch.
"Yeah?" I whisper back.
"Can we talk about this another time, too? Like really sit down and talk about it, just you and me?"
"Okay," I reply.
"Sweet dreams, Bella."
"Sweet dreams, Edward."
I hear the click ending the conversation and I hold my phone to my chest as I slowly drift off to sleep.
I was going to finish this off without the phone conversation and make it drag out a bit longer, but I think this all needed to come out now.
Loving hearing readers thoughts on this story. Thanks for the amazing reviews and faves and alerts etc. They all make me type like a mad woman.