A huge thank you to each and every one of you for your kind words. You make me blush! :-)
Thursday evening in Sweden means another chapter for you!
Making up for the last chapter being a few hundred words shorter than usual with this longer chapter. Feel the luv!
Emma can't be up to any good, can she? Please, enjoy!
"Whatever happens tonight, make sure to not let her out of sight," I could hear Ruby whisper to Mary Margaret.
"What's up?" Mary Margaret responded in a worried tone.
"Let's just say she's in a fragile state of mind, and the last thing she needs is to do something she'll regret by the morning."
"Girls. I love how thoughtful you are, but you really don't need to babysit me. I'm fine and I already promised Ruby I will go home with no one but her tonight," I added to their secret conversation.
They both looked surprised I'd managed to hear their hushed voices over the loud house music pumping from the DJ booth.
"Anyways, first round's on me. Do Martinis sound appealing?" I asked.
"With extra olives," Ruby smiled widely.
"I'll come with you," Mary Margaret responded.
It sure seemed like they planned on babysitting me, although I'd requested them to not do so.
With my red heels on, I became quite tall, and had - partly thanks to that - no problem getting the bartender's attention. That, along with how my hair appeared a radiant golden hue in the blinking, shifting and sweeping lights of the club, made me hard to ignore even if someone had wanted to.
"Three large Martinis, shaken please, and with a small bowl of extra olives on the side!" I shouted to make myself heard over the music's beat along with the buzz of about twenty other people by the large bar, all simultaneously chatting.
"Coming right up!"
Although this was our place of choice two out of three times we went out, I didn't recognize the man behind the bar. He couldn't be new to the profession - he was way too skilled with the glasses, shakers and bottles to be a beginner. He was clearly showing off as he built a tower with our cocktail glasses, filling the bottom two from the top one. I watched his every move, noticeably impressed.
"One Martini for the beautiful blond lady, and two for her friends, I hope," he said with a sincere smile on his face.
"Who says I don't want all the enjoyment for myself?" I responded in a deep voice.
"I like women who know what they want." Did I see a spark in his dark, gray eyes?
"All right, he's a hottie, but enough flirting. Let's get back to Ruby," Mary Margaret tugged on my arm before picking up the bowl of olives and one of the cocktail glasses.
I grabbed the other two glasses, after having given the bartender a silent promise through long lashes.
"I thought you had something going on with Killian!" Mary Margaret hissed as we approached our table.
"So did I," I responded indifferently.
"Is this about that thing, whatever it is, you can't tell us about?" She motioned me to stop and looked at me with concern.
"I wish. I just want to forget all about him for tonight, have a little fun. A little flirting never killed anyone."
"I know you better than you seem to know yourself, Emma. A little flirting may not kill, but with you… One thing leads to another, and suddenly you're naked in someone else's bed. I don't say this to be mean or to upset you, I am just giving you the truth which you seem to be ignoring when in this mood."
Her words didn't upset me the slightest, but the fact that there was a dark truth behind them, a truth I've been struggling with ever since Neal, made them quite painful to hear.
"Emma. If you don't think you're ready to date, then you're certainly not ready for intimacy either," she added.
"You seem to believe I want to fuck everyone I'm talking to." I took a large sip from one of the glasses I was carrying.
"Well, do you?"
What kind of question was that?
"Of course I don't! I don't want to fuck anyone until I've sorted my shit out, and that my friend, is why I see Dr. Hopper in the first place."
"Good. Now that you've been honest with yourself, let's enjoy our drinks. No unknown men allowed," she added.
"That's easy for you to say. You've got David awaiting you every single evening, keeping your food and your bed warm."
I loved that she'd found her prince Charming in David, I loved the fact she wasn't alone, and I loved that she would soon have that family of hers she'd been longing for since the first time I met her, if not longer. But I was jealous at where she was in life. Everything surrounding her - along with herself - was so stable. Excluding me. I couldn't see myself with a kid anywhere within an even somewhat near future, while Mary Margaret would be there within a matter of only a few years.
Instead of turning on her defenses and lashing out at me, Mary Margaret put the glass and the olives on a small side table to her left, and gave me a hug. No pathetic excuse of a Killian-hug, but a long, warm, comforting, loving hug that made the thick, icy layer of anger imprisoning me melt away from my skin, all at once.
"I needed that," I said as she, after having embraced me for a good minute, let go of me.
The place was closing for the night, and the three of us were surprisingly sober. We'd kept it on a civil level to be able to talk about anything and everything while just enjoying the music and watching the people on the dance floor from a safe distance. Not exactly a wild and crazy girls night out, but I actually preferred it over going all-in. A couple of drinks over several hours had been enough to boost my mood and keep me cozily warm.
I was standing behind Ruby and Mary Margaret in the wardrobe line, when I felt a hand on my shoulder.
"Hey blondie. What do you say we continue this party at my place," a husky man's voice whispered in my ear. His warm breath tickled against the sensitive skin on my neck.
I turned around to find myself only inches away from a pair of dark, gray eyes - the very same eyes I'd seen sparkle behind the bar a couple of hours ago. It seemed like the bartender had picked up on the silent promise of mine.
I smirked at him and stepped out of the line, allowing for a petite, black haired girl to take my spot.
"Your place you say, eh? Give me one good reason and I might consider it," I responded while tucking a strand of hair behind my ear.
"You like what you see," he said as he leaned in closer. He was tall and muscular, and I had to bend my neck to be able to meet his gaze. "And I like what I see."
His mouth was once again by my ear, and I could feel his lower lip brushing lightly against my earlobe as he spoke. His touch made me feel dizzy, like the ground underneath of my feet had started to shake.
I did indeed like what I saw. His brown, slightly curly hair along with his short beard made him look rough, and those gray eyes added mystery to his appearance. Rough and mysterious had always been my type.
"I don't do one night stands," I replied in an attempt to rescue myself out of the dangerously tempting trap.
"Who says it has to be one night only?" He placed his hand on my neck, tousling his fingers in my curls.
I swallowed loudly. How could I possibly resist? I was, like Ruby had put it, in a fragile state of mind, longing for nothing but physical contact. It would help me fill the empty hole inside of me, if only temporarily.
Temporarily is better than not at all, I though as I closed my eyes, awaiting his next move. Behind shut eyelids, images of what was awaiting me flashed by. Heavy breathing, heartbeats synchronized, sweaty bodies grinding against each other…
"Emma, where have you-" Ruby interrupted her speech to gape at the stranger. "My god, Graham! Is that really you? I haven't seen you in like forever!"
"Ruby, doll! Long time no see, indeed!" The bartender gave her the widest of surprised smiles, eyebrows raised.
"You two know each other?" I asked, severely confused.
"Do we know each other? Graham and I went to college together," Ruby explained as she threw herself around his neck.
"And don't forget us leading that group of scouts together," he added.
Ruby released her grip around him a little, as though to allow him to breathe. "There's something about the woods I just love. The air, the freedom…" she paused. "Anyway, I thought you moved back to Europe after graduation?"
"Actually, I did. I attended the European Bartender School in London, and just recently moved back. And now I'm working here, as a bartender, surprise surprise. How crazy it is to see you again!"
He gently kissed her cheek and squeezed her upper arms. They were genuinely happy to see each other, like two since long lost friends finally reuniting.
They seemed to have quite a lot of catching up to do, and I, uncomfortable by the thought that I most likely would've ended up in Ruby's friend's bed, left them to it to go find Mary Margaret. I hadn't seen her since Graham's hand appeared on my shoulder.
I found her waiting by the doors, with her back rested against the wall and her powdery pink coat folded over her arms.
"There you are," she smiled at me. "I just talked to David. He's at the pub across the street playing pool with some friends. He asked if we wanted to stop by before heading home."
"Sure, why not. You go ahead and let David know we'll be joining them, I'll wait for Ruby," I replied.
"She went to look for you, and now she's the one we're waiting for?" Mary Margaret giggled at the irony.
"She ran into an old friend of hers," I responded, not entirely convinced friends was all they were.
"Let her know this friend is more than welcome to tag along. See you soon," she said as she swept her coat around her body and left through the glass doors.
"I don't mean to be a party pooper, but we were thinking we'd catch up over a bottle back home," Ruby responded as I told her about our plans. "Easier to talk," she added.
"Of course," I said. I had no rights to be disappointed at her after all the times I had been the dreaded party pooper, leaving them early to go home with someone else.
"Here," she handed me her spare key.
I hesitated taking it. "You sure you two don't want to be alone? I could always get a room for the night."
"Are you out of your mind, Emma? You're staying with me, as we agreed upon," she gave me a surprised expression, as though my words had offended her.
"All right then," I said and took the key from her hand.
I still did not want to disturb them, even though she wanted me to believe I wouldn't do that. Her sofa bed wasn't big enough for the three of us, and I didn't want to have to force Graham away, unless he wanted to go home himself.
"Have fun with Graham," I winked at her and began walking toward the exit.
"Say hello to David from me!" Ruby exclaimed behind me.
I lit a cigarette the second I placed my red heels on the cobblestone outside of the club. I wasn't smoking regularly, but found pleasure in it every now and then. It helped calm my nerves and think clearly, and it tasted like heaven after a couple of drinks.
Smoke thicker than water vapor emerged from my mouth as I stared at the pub across the street. 'O'Connor's' it said with green and white letters on a black sign on the brick wall next to its entrance. The pub was advertising Guinness lager on a chalkboard, along with the image of a four-leafed clover, which made it even more obvious O'Connor's was an Irish pub. The only Irish thing tempting me was not a place, but a person.
It seemed like I had to make up for lost impulsivity, like I had a built-in impulse account desperately striving for balance. What I did the next moment made up for my inability to live out my impulses with Graham earlier.
I found the neatly folded post-it in the pocket of my leather jacket. It took me about ten seconds to make my mind up.
"I'm free," I said as Killian answered my call.
"Bloody hell, Swan. It's three in the morning." His raspy voice made it sound like he'd been asleep just seconds earlier.
"I know," I responded, not feeling the slightest of guilt.
"What… Where are you?"
"Doesn't matter. What does matter is, I'm on my way to this twenty four-seven burger place I heard is amazing."
"Are you alone?"
"Well… yes."
I could hear him sigh.
"A greasy burger all alone at three AM you say, miss. Have you been drinking?" He asked, in a much more alert tone.
Duh. Of course I had. Why else would I wake him up in the middle of the night to chat about burgers?
"You coming or what?" I asked, surprised over my own straightforwardness.
If Ruby wanted alone-time with Graham, I too wanted alone-time with the guy who had recently managed to turn my brain upside down without any particular effort. An Irishman as an accessory at an Irish pub in all honor, but I guess I thought they'd all be one big and happy family at the pub, meaning I wouldn't get Killian's undivided attention. That burger place would, on the other hand, allow me to still my appetite and have Killian all to myself.
"Must be a hell of a burger to drag me out of bed at this hour. Don't disappoint me, lass." I could almost hear him smirk.
Fifteen minutes later and a few blocks away, I could see Killian in the dark night. I swallowed heavily as he approached me with long, confident strides.
He was wearing pants the hue of charcoal, a white shirt - collarbone area unbuttoned - underneath a black woolen coat, and a gray, knitted scarf on top of it. It was a casually handsome outfit, which drew my attention to his way more than casually handsome face. If Graham was rough and mysterious, Killian was rougher and even more mysterious.
His mere presence left me speechless. Why did he have that effect on me? It was annoying, yet fascinating.
"Did you consider swapping careers?" He asked me.
A puzzled expression spread across my face.
"I bet you'd do an impressive job as a saleswoman. I know I would've bought just about anything if you were the one advertising it."
I laughed. Not a deep, loud and genuinely amused laugh, but more the giggle of a blushing, insecure schoolgirl. If I could've given myself a believable bitch-slap, I would've done so.
Instead, I found myself drowning in his blue eyes. His dark and thick eyebrows threw a shadow over his sockets, making his eyes look a lot darker than they'd appeared in daylight.
"So, you hungry?" I managed to collect all the pieces of me which I'd lost during his mesmerizing gaze.
"Starving. You woke the bear in the middle of its hibernation," he said, showing off his teeth in that confident way I'd started to get used to.
It wasn't exactly the most elegant of places, but it was cozy and homely with its lit candles and woody-meets-pastel interior. A group of five people were enjoying their cheesy burgers and French fries while keeping an energetic conversation going at the opposite side of the diner.
An older lady handed us the à la carte menus as we sat down at a small, square teak table. Killian removed his coat and scarf, and hung it on the back of his black leather chair. He rolled up the sleeves of his white shirt, uncovering his left wrist. It was accessorized with a thick leather strap watch, which made it impossible to tell that his left hand wasn't the hand he had been born with.
I followed Killian's example and stripped down to my off-white lace blouse and dark grey pencil skirt. He gave me a peculiar look.
"How come you're not in company of your friends, Saturday night and all?" He asked. "You're certainly not dressed for staying home alone."
What was I supposed to respond to that? Well, I was with my friends, but then something reminded me of you and I simply couldn't resist dragging you out of bed for a burger in the middle of the night?
"How come you're not in company of your girlfriend?" I blurted. Oops.
"My what?" He asked, his face musculature gossiping about how my words had just surprised him.
"Nothing," I responded with a sigh.
"Hey, lass. You can't just throw something like that on the table without explaining further."
"Ruby saw you today, at the restaurant where she works," I looked straight at him, letting him know I wanted him to fill me in on the details.
"Now I get what you're on about. I bet she told you I was on a date, didn't she?"
"Well… yes. Weren't you?"
He dodged my question. "You're cute when you're jealous."
"Jealous of what, and why would I be?" I wasn't at all jealous. Or was I?
"You tell me, Emma," he said, leaning back against his chair with a complacent smirk.
He rarely called me by my first name, for some to me unknown reason. It was usually 'lass', or 'miss Swan'. The first time I could recall he'd called me Emma, was on that yellow post-it.
"Ready to order?" The older lady seemed to show up at our table out of nowhere, now impatiently looking at us through a pair of thick glasses connected to a senile string.
"I'll have what she's having," Killian gestured toward me.
"A medium cheeseburger with fries, mayonnaise on the side, and a large coke, please." I wanted the aoili, but my cravings for garlic would have to wait to a more appropriate time and place.
"Two cheeseburgers, then. Coming right up!" The lady left as quickly as she'd arrived.
I gave Killian a good stare before deciding to respond to his accusations. The alcohol I'd had throughout the night made it easier for me to tell the truth.
"I am not jealous, Killian. But I'm used to guys being so eager to get their pants off they barely even ask about my name before asking me out. We, you and I, have run in to each other on more than one occasion and you haven't even taken my phone number…" I paused, not sure what my point behind telling him all of this was, before continuing. "I wanted to find excuses behind why you aren't acting like, you know, the rest of them. You dating someone would explain your behavior quite well, to be frank."
"Emma, love." He leaned forward and took my hands in his. His left hand looked and felt like any hand would. "Let's say I was dating someone. Do you really think I'd show up here tonight?"
"You're being polite," I responded.
"Why do you have to be so goddamn insecure, woman," he murmured.
"I may be confused about your intentions, but I'm anything but insecure," I snapped, removing my hands from his and placing them in my lap.
"Give me your number and have dinner with me tomorrow. Hell, give me your panties while at it, so I can sniff them while jerking off like some kind of creep. Is that what you want me to say?" He responded, noticeably annoyed.
"I don't know, okay! I want you to ask because you want to, not because you're trying to make a point." I stubbornly and defensibly crossed my arms over my chest.
"Bloody hell, Swan! Why are you making this so much harder than it really is? What do I have to say and do to convince you I am interested in you?"
Once again, he left me speechless. He'd said what I wanted to hear and his words had a calming effect on my temper. He wasn't dating anyone, and he had - finally - made it quite clear he actually was interested in me.
Now what?
Before I had the time to elaborate any further on the subject, two tall glasses of coke appeared on our table, accompanied by hamburger plates the size of large Frisbees. My stomach rumbled at the sight and scent of grilled meat.
"Cheers, lass." Killian raised his hand. The many ice cubes bobbing around in the dark liquid were making tinkling sounds against the glass.
A peace gesture.
"Cheers," I said as I tried my best to read the man sitting in the chair in front of me.
Thanks for following this story, please leave a review regarding anything that's on your mind; questions/thoughts/suggestions/input/whatever is more than welcome.
Now that we've gotten the ball rolling, expect some intense stuff in the next chapter. How intense? Why don't you find out by yourselves. ;-)