Castiel walked into the diner, which was in the lull before the dinner rush. The only other patrons were some teenagers in a booth in the corner drinking coffee and sharing a plate of french fries. He stood at the register for someone to come by, and after a minute of waiting he finally noticed the sign reading "Please Seat Yourself".
You are distracted, Castiel, he thought to himself. He felt something he could only describe as nausea, a churning inside that left him off balance and anxious. He chose a two-seater table in the middle of the restaurant, smoothed his trench coat under him, and sat down on one of the vinyl-padded chairs. He felt self-conscious, as if he were projecting his thoughts outward on all frequencies and in all known languages. Are those children watching me? he thought. He stared down at the paper placemat, squeezing his fists under the table in his lap. He needed to formulate a plan, he needed-
"Hey, honey, can I get you anything to drink?"
Castiel's eyes flew upward in surprise. Somehow, this waitress had snuck up on him. Castiel, you are a mess.
"Ah hun, don't be so hard on yourself. Nobody's perfect!" said the dark-haired waitress, a small smile on her face.
Castiel's eyes widened. "Apologies. I did not realize I was speaking aloud," said Castiel, and it was true. The effort required not to lose himself completely in his thoughts of Dean was actually lowering his capacity to engage in any other activity.
The waitress continued, "you shoulda seen the guy in here this morning. Looked like death, scared out of his wits! He ordered a great big breakfast, pie, and then ran out of here without eating a bite."
Dean.
"He left a nice tip, though," the waitress shrugged. Castiel noticed her name tag.
"Charlene," Castiel said, his voice gravelly and unsure, "may I ask your advice on a sensitive matter? I must preface it with the admittance that I have no one else with whom I can speak, so if you decline I will have no recourse."
The tall woman shifted her weight and brought her hand up to her jaw thoughtfully, resting her order pad on her hip. With a half smile she replied, "sure, hun, but you gotta order something or I can't let you sit here."
Castiel turned and pointed at the teenagers in the corner. "I will have what they are having," he said gruffly. The teens leaned in and whispered to one another with smirks on their faces.
"Coffee and fries coming right up."
As Castiel waited for his order he struggled to formulate his questions for the waitress. He knew that he could not continue his friendship with Dean while simultaneously struggling with his deeper feelings. He could leave Dean be, and take himself out of the equation, sparing his friend from the angst Castiel would no doubt carry with him everywhere. The only other option he saw would be to repair the damage he had done and remind Dean that he loved him just as he was. Castiel had no reference points for undertaking such an endeavor. He needed input from an actual human.
When the waitress returned with the food and drink, she slid into the chair across from Castiel, leaning forward with elbows on the table. She snatched a hot french fry off of the plate, bit into it, and smiled. "I find you request quite compelling," said Charlene, bemused. "But before you start, I just gotta say… are you not weirded out right now?"
Castiel swallowed. "I admit my request is exceedingly… weird, as you say-"
"No, I mean, look at us." Charlene gestured between the two of them with her hand. She leaned in closer and snatched another fry and whispered, "we could be brother and sister."
Castiel paused and took the time to look carefully at the woman. In his distraction he had failed to note her appearance. Her smooth, angular hair was a stark contrast to his own unruly locks, and she looked less tired than Castiel felt. However, her blue eyes were striking, and they sparkled and crinkled when she smiled. She was solidly built and graceful, measured and practiced in her movements. She had an air of self possession and confidence that he lacked. She looked like a woman who knew what she wanted and was on her way to getting it. Castiel was flattered by the comparison. He felt confident she could help him, as she appeared to be Castiel as he wish he could could be. Calm, kind, open, confident, and… flirtatious.
"Charlene, have you ever loved and lost?" asked Castiel softly, hands gripping the mug of coffee he had no intention of drinking.
"I'm taking it you have," she replied sympathetically.
"I believe so," said Castiel to the table top. "I may have overstepped my bounds, made erroneous inferences about how he feels-"
"He?" interrupted Charlene.
Castiel continued, lost in his thoughts, not noticing her mild surprise.
"Yes, his name is Dean." Castiel sighed softly, still looking down. Charlene looked across the table at him, then past him, and out of the front windows she noticed the Chevy Impala, still outside on the far side of the parking lot.
She scrunched her face. "Wait, is he the man who was in here this morning? The one who ran outta here without eating?"
"Yes, that was him," said the angel, eyes darting upward toward her face.
She spoke carefully. "Was he upset about you?"
"No," said Castiel in a low, sad voice. "That came later, after I tried to help him. We had a… confusing interaction."
Charlene found the entire conversation compelling. The events of the day had made this the most interesting shift she'd worked since she started at the diner. She leaned in and placed a hand on Castiel's arm reassuringly. The gesture surprised him and he tilted his head ever so slightly. "What was confusing about it?" she asked with a voice of genuine concern.
Castiel was relatively sure that asking a complete stranger for relationship advice was not a normal human behavior, but he was desperate. Thus far, she had behaved kindly, and Castiel felt somehow connected to her. She reflected back what he wished he saw in the mirror. It was almost like she had grace of her own. "It was my impression that I made my feelings for him well known, and he appeared to reciprocate those feelings. But then his brother was there, and Dean appeared… embarrassed by me. He said he needed to think about things, so I disappeared."
"And now you're here."
"Correct."
"Well, Castiel... that is your name right?" asked Charlene. Castiel nodded. "Castiel, what is it that you want help with?" a small smile appeared on Charlene's face, and her eyes had a thoughtful look. "I have a feeling I know."
"You do?" Castiel said, eyes widening a bit.
"Yup. I think you want to make a grand gesture," she said, sweeping an arm wide. "You wanna show Dean how much he means to you. Lay it all on the line. Do or die. Now or never. Lloyd Dobler outside of Diane's house blaring Peter Gabriel on a boom box."
"I do not understand that reference," Castiel said with a furrowed brow. This may be more difficult than I thought.
"Hmmm," said Charlene. "This may be more difficult that I thought."
Castiel blinked a few times. How odd.
"Here, let me show you," said Charlene, fishing her smartphone out of her back pocket. She swiped the screen and pulled up the clip from Say Anything, where John Cusack holds up a boombox playing "In Your Eyes". She turned the phone and Castiel studied it like a nature documentary. When it ended, she took the phone back and put it back into her pocket. "He even has your coat!"
"Charlene, I am confused. Lloyd's strategy did not seem to work." Castiel appeared to shrink in defeat. "Diane did not come to the window. He just stood there, and looked sad."
"That's not the point!" she replied emphatically. "The point is that he made the gesture. He knew that if he didn't do something, he might lose her. He needed to show her that he cared, regardless of whether things worked out in his favor. At the end of the movie, she realizes what he means to her."
Castiel tugged on his lower lip with his teeth. "So you are suggesting… martyrdom?"
"Do you have a better idea?" Charlene said, cocking her head.
"I do not."
Charlene pressed her hands into the table as she stood. "My shift ends in 20 minutes," she said, flashing a smile. "I am going to help you. You can do this, Castiel," she said, decisively.
Castiel gulped.