I beg for your forgiveness. Explanation at the end xx
Talking the talk
Living out my suspension hasn't been nearly as bad as I thought it would be. Thursday afternoon is spent talking, in deep, with Edward and by the time he's left I feel like I've learned so much more about him as a person. I find myself thinking of him in a different light altogether, and I could almost kick myself for not having done this before I got into this predicament.
Friday is spent doing homework and avoiding my mum as much as possible. After school Edward picks me up to take me to my ultrasound appointment with his mum. She's pleased to see that the clot is smaller, but says she's still concerned about its position. Still, she is positive that by the next appointment it'll be gone completely. I look over to see a very relieved Edward and we walk out of there with some new and really cool 3D snapshots of our baby girl.
When we're in the car he asks if he can look at them. I pass them to him and he gives me a secretive smile before putting the pictures in his top pocket.
Once we're stopped in my driveway he pulls out the pictures and looks at them for a long moment before glancing at me.
"Can I keep one?"
"Um, yeah, I'll go inside and get some scissors." I'm a little surprised at his gentle request, but a part of me is also giddy that he wants to keep a photo of our baby.
Our baby that he wants to keep. I remind myself and supress a wave of panic as I move to exit the car.
"I'll come with you."
I'm nervous. Apart from the quick goodbye he said to my mother yesterday as he left, Edward hasn't spoken to my parents since the whole debacle when we first found out. If he comes into the house, my mum is sure to strike up a conversation and my dad is due home any moment. My nerves kick up a notch when I see both mum and dad in the kitchen. Dad has obviously been home a while because he's already out of his uniform.
They're standing by the stove and talking while mum is mixing something with a wooden spoon. The air smells of curry and I want to eat it right this minute.
"Oh, um, hey Dad," I greet.
They both turn slightly and have matching expressions when they see Edward. I point my thumb over my shoulder at him, and explain that he just came in to get a picture of the baby.
"Oh, you got more pictures?" Mum asks excitedly. She wipes her hands on her jeans and steps toward us with an upward palm.
I chew on my bottom lip and smile. I can't help but get caught up in her excitement and I watch as Edward hands them to her.
"They're 3D!" he points out unnecessarily.
"Oh my goodness!" Mum steps back toward dad and holds up the three pictures to him. "Look at these Charlie! You can really see her little face, look! She has your nose, look at that." She points to a part of the picture and glances up at dad. Seeing that he's in a state of shock and awe, she looks to us and smiles. "They never had these when I was pregnant with you. It was all a guessing game back then, but you can really see her in these can't you?"
I bite my lips between my teeth and smile. I'm so caught up in her glee that I don't realise Edward is standing so close to me until I feel his fingertips brush mine. I look up at him and he holds my gaze with glinting eyes. I know he's silently urging me to tell them, but I'm not ready yet. I need to plan this, not just spring it on them. I shake my head at him slightly and his expression changes from one of hope to one of frustration.
My mother's voice interrupts our silent conversation and we almost jump apart.
"Well," she says with a sigh. "Since you're here, why don't you stay for dinner?" She asks Edward.
He and I aren't the only ones that are surprised, my father's eyes are torn from the pictures in his hand and he stares daggers into the back of my mother's head.
"Um…" Edward looks to me as if asking for permission. When I say nothing, he shrugs and turns back to my mother. "Yeah, okay, sure," he replies, almost too casually.
I manage to get the pictures back from dad and I cut one off to give to Edward, before he excuses himself to make a phone call to his parents. While he's outside I put the other two pictures up on the fridge and give dad a small smile, before swiftly exiting the kitchen. Avoiding them is much easier than pretending that my life is just dandy for the sake of keeping the peace.
Too bad I can't avoid dinner because it is awkward as hell. Apart from the scraping of forks on plates, and the occasional loud noise Edward makes when he takes a sip of water (which makes me want to stab him in the eye with my fork), the table is silent.
I practically eat my whole dinner in one breath and this gets me a weird look from Edward. I shrug and open my mouth to use my usual excuse of eating for two when my father interrupts.
"So what are your plans for the future, Edward?"
I'm glad that I've finished my dinner, because I likely would have choked on it if I hadn't. We both look down the table at him and my dad eyes Edward in return.
I glance at Edward and he hesitates for a moment before wiping his mouth with his napkin and then smiles at my dad.
"It's probably no secret that medicine runs through my blood," he chuckles, "but I'm thinking of taking a different path in the field. I'll be applying to do a degree in bio med next year," he says confidently.
"And you think you'll get in?" Dad asks brusquely.
I open my mouth to protest against his interrogation, but Edward interrupts me.
"Well, I certainly hope so. I mean, my math could use a little work, but I'm passing all my other subjects." Edward smiles and takes a sip of his water.
The sound grates on my nerves.
"So, you don't always go out to parties and have sex with younger girls then?"
Edward chokes on his water and starts to splutter and cough. My mother and I protest in unison.
"Dad!"
"Charlie!"
"Oh, c'mon!" he chuckles. "I'm just playing with the lad."
He smiles at Edward and Edward tries to smile back, but coughs some more. Mum shakes her head and continues eating, I push my plate back and fold my arms across my body. Trust dad to make the night more awkward than it already was.
Edward seems to have collected himself and he looks my dad steadfast in the eye.
"No, sir, just this one time," he replies, and goes back to eating his dinner.
My father stops short, his fork still in the air, and looks at me curiously. I don't know why Edward's reply makes me happy, but I am smiling when our eyes meet.
"What are you going to do next year without him there?" Dad asks, nodding his head in Edwards's direction.
I shrug. "Go to school like I always do," I reply offhandedly.
"What about those girls? You'll be about to have a baby and he won't be there to protect you," he says quickly before shovelling more food into his mouth.
My dad has never been one for beating around the bush.
"Most of those girls are seniors, they won't be there next year," Edward points out. "But Chelsea will," he adds.
"I'm not scared of her," I huff.
"You shouldn't be," he replies kindly. "You shouldn't be scared of anyone, but you shouldn't ignore it either. The whole school is a fish tank. Everyone sees everything. Everyone sees you."
"Well, I'm not hard to miss." I lean back and put a hand on my belly. Although it's not huge, it's very noticeable.
Edward sighs in frustration. He puts down his fork, wipes his mouth, pushes his empty plate back and leans forward a little, eyeing me seriously.
"That's not what I meant. What I meant is that everyone knows everyone's business at school."
"I don't," I quip.
"Exactly," he replies.
I'm confused. "I don't get it," I tell him.
"You don't know anyone's business because you're too busy playing a victim."
"I don't play a victim!" I protest loudly.
"You kinda do," my mother chimes in.
I shoot her an incredulous look.
"You don't fight back," she points out.
"If I don't fight back then why am I suspended?"
"That wasn't fighting back, that was an outburst of hormones," my mother replies with a teasing smile.
I'm not impressed. I feel like I'm being ganged up on and I can't even remember how this conversation started, but then a moment later I do. I look at dad with disdain.
"When you're back on Tuesday, all you have to do is look them in the eye when you see them," Edward says with a shrug.
"Wouldn't they just see that as a challenge?"
He shrugs again. "They might, but they wouldn't want to hurt you."
I raise an eyebrow in his direction. "Because I'm pregnant? That hasn't stopped them before," I remind him.
"Because you're with me," he replies with a hint of irritation, "but also because if you prove to them that you're not a victim, and you're not afraid of them, they'll eventually leave you alone."
I mull over his words for a bit and look down at my fingernails to see they're ridiculously long and in need of some TLC.
"Think about it, they're only picking on you because they're jealous of you. For one, you're much smarter than they are. Use it to your advantage."
"I may be smarter than them academically, but I'm the one that got pregnant at sixteen," I mumble with a glance up at him.
He smiles and shrugs again. "So what? Like you said, it's not like anyone doesn't know and can't see the obvious. Own it. You're that girl that got pregnant in high school, but you're not the first and you won't be the last. At least you're more likely to make something of your life, pregnant or not. Own the title and they'll have nothing left call you out on. Because the truth is your rap sheet is otherwise pretty perfect." He smiles at me teasingly.
"I agree," my mother's voice reminds me where we are and that others are at the table.
Edward, too, seems to sit back in his seat with a start. He collects himself, pushes his seat back and begins to gather everyone's plates.
"Oh, you don't have to do that! You're a guest," my mother tells him and gets up to help.
"It's fine, I got it," he assures her and mum sits back down with a smile.
When he reaches for dad's plate, my dad stands up and says he'll take it himself. "You're making me look bad, son," he explains with a chuckle, before leading Edward into the kitchen.
They are stacking the dishwasher when mum turns to me and smiles.
"He's a keeper that one." She winks and then declares that she's going to put dessert in the oven, before getting up and joining them in the kitchen, leaving me with a head full of mixed up thoughts.
Massive apologies for the delay (and the hundreds of grammar mistakes that are likely to be scattered in this one), I've had a whole heap of bad luck recently.
In the space of days I fell and collected a railing on the way down. I hurt my hip so bad that I still have remnants of the massive bruise almost 2 weeks later. I then got a cold the next day, and two days later broke my toe.
Now that i'm finally recovered from my cold and silly injuries, my 18 month old is sick with a cold. We'll hopefully catch a break soon, but in the meantime updates will be scattered as I try my best to write between RL responsibilities.
Thank you so much for your patience and for not sending me abusive PM's about my inability to stick to my commitments LOL.
I cherish your love and support xx
PS. I'm coming out! Check my profile for a link to my other profile where you can read other stories of mine and very short daily drabbles that I'm currently doing. (of course I won't likely be able to do them every day with all the RL stuff going on, but hopefully they'll be something you can enjoy until the next chapter of That Girl)