A/N Bet you thought you'd seen the last of this one! Well, my muse if a fickle lady and she just would not let me write this for the past few months, but now I've had a burst of inspiration so it's full steam ahead!

The kisses on her neck tickled, just a little and she sighed happily as he trailed them lower across her collar bone, his soft hair brushing against her chin.

The bed was small, but she didn't care. She fumbled for her t-shirt and tugged it over her head, until his bare chest lay against hers and she felt a little flutter of giddiness in her heart.

"Hey," she whispered, ruffling his hair until he looked up, eyes blazing with want.

"Hey," he smiled as he reached up and kissed her mouth, softly, slowly - almost reverently. "I love you, you know that right?"

Tightening her legs around his hips, she replied, "Yeah, I do. And I love you too, Neal."

There was nothing more to say as she pressed his mouth once more against his and let her body do as it wished- her heart falling deeper for him.

§

Running away was easy. It's what she always did - second nature, if you will.

The journey from the bar was a blur. She found a cab just as the earlier drizzle began to form into a heavier rain. She could feel her hair curling from the moisture as the a/c in the cab chilled her damp skin. But it all didn't matter, because the numbness had returned.

Just seeing him again had started it. The way he talked, the way he smiled, the way he moved- Nothing had changed. Being so near to him had made her crumble. All the hurt and all those memories she had tried so hard to hold back had came tumbling forth from her subconscious. Her heart had raced, her stomach had cramped into sickness. Foolishly, she'd believed that now she was older, stronger; maybe even wiser and things would be different - his effect on her less potent. But she was wrong.

She managed to give directions to Killian's apartment then barely aware of herself she paid the driver and made her way into the lobby - pressing the elevator buttons as she looked at herself in the mirrored walls.

Emma didn't recognize the reflection it presented. It was as if time had been dialed back and she was once again that teenage girl - the one whose trusting nature had only served to cause her pain and hurt. The eyes were familiar; they held the same expression that lingered for months after she had ran away to Seattle - the time it had taken until she found a way to numb the memories with a few drinks or by burying herself in work.

Rifling in her purse for the keys, the anger built. At him, at herself - at life's shitty habit of screwing you over. The way he had thought he could apologize now, after all this time, was pretty rich. Far too little, far too late. He'd walked out on her, left her to deal with the consequences of his actions and hadn't so much as tried to contact her in the past 13 years.

Seeing him alone had been the worst idea, she conceded as she opened the apartment door and closed it firmly behind her. It had only served to reopen old wounds.

And what good had it done, telling him what had happened to her? It hadn't made her feel any better, in fact quite the opposite. It had made her feel weak and powerless. Instead the release she had hoped for, it had just stirred up emotions that she longed to forget. She thanked God she hadn't told him about the baby. No - that would have tipped her over the edge and brought back the grief. That was one thing to be thankful for.

Angrily, she tugged off her damp jeans and shirt and pulled on a tank top and some sweats. She stalked around the apartment, looking for something with which to occupy herself. Her phone rang and she dug it out of her purse: Neal flashed on the screen. Swallowing hard she pressed cancel and then turned it off, shoving it back in her bag and trying to forget that afternoon.

The tension in her forehead was unbearable, her jaw clenched as she turned on the TV and collapsed on the sofa.

The images blurred as she tried to relax, her fingers massaging her temples as one thought repeated in her head.

Forget….

§

"Emma?"

The door slammed and she was there beside it in seconds. He barely had time to think before she wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled him into a kiss. He responded keenly, pressing her back against the hallway wall as her fingers curled into the hair at the nape of his neck.

Yes, she thought, forget…

"Hey," he panted as he pulled back his lips, "What's gotten into you?"

"I missed you," she replied - not exactly a lie, but not the whole truth either. The blood that had begun to pump faster through her veins was mixing with a spike of adrenaline. "I need you-" she pleaded.

He raised a brow and dampened his lips - staring into her eyes. Could he see? Did he recognize the pain? The hurt?

No, she couldn't tell him. He wouldn't understand.

"Are you okay?"

Emma nodded, clawing the collar of his shirt and reaching on her toes, stealing another kiss from his lips. "I just-" she broke off, looking at him again, her eyes pleading almost - trying to tell him what she couldn't say.

"Okay," he whispered, leaning down as she rolled back her head against the wall. Each touch of his lips on her neck pushed away a little reality. But she was impatient for more.

Her hands nimbly tugged on the fastening of his belt, eagerly opening it then moving to the fly of his pants, taking a second to press against his hardness and enjoying his groan of 'fuck'. His tongue flicked and curved against her neck - he gathered her loose hair up in one hand, piling it on top of her head while she pushed away his pants and began kick off her sweatpants.

This was what she needed. Just him and her.

"Should we-?" he panted into her ear, nodding his head in the direction of the bedroom.

"I want you here first," she moaned when he bit gently at the junction of shoulder and neck. There wasn't time to waste, now - this moment - was all that mattered.

Still half clothed, she hitched her leg up to his hip. He understood and shifted his hands under her ass, digging in his fingers as they kissed once again. She battled with his tongue, nipping at it with her teeth while she shifted her hips closer to his. Emma felt his knees drop against the wall behind her.

Yes, this was working - making it all fade away…

"Come on," she whined into his mouth, reaching down and positioning his cock, grinding against him until he relented and let out a loud grunt as he buried himself inside her.

"Oh Emma."

His breathy groan made her tingle and cramp against him, the desire evident in his pitch and timbre. God to feel wanted was everything right then.

Feeling him inside her was the perfect antidote to any lingering thoughts. His hips began to snap against hers, each push dragging her deeper into a world of pleasure where the thoughts began to disappear.

"Harder-" she pleaded, rocking her own hips. "Harder!"

The sounds of groans and slapping flesh echoed hollowly around the small space. If anyone was passing they could probably hear. She didn't care.

It was building. She was on the way to giving in and letting herself come - for that would be the sweetest release. But she wasn't ready. Because with release came an end to the sensation that was holding everything else back.

Emma loosened her legs and he stopped. "Come with me." He nodded, following her further into the apartment, both stripping away their remaining clothes. When she reached the sofa, his arms wrapped around her - more kisses were dropped on her shoulder. Fingers reached into her damp folds and he worked at her clit; she let her ass grind against his cock, still wet from her, hard and yearning, her muscles clenching in anticipation.

Prying away his hands, she lay forward over the arm of the couch, pressing her ass in the air. His breathing became low and heavy.

She was lost in him as he was in her.

"Take me," she asked, pressing up on her toes and gasping when he grabbed her hips and she felt him start to nudge inside her. This time slowly, teasingly, the new position allowing him to get so deep it almost hurt.

But the pain was good. Another sensation to take away the memories.

Each thrust shunted her further into the soft leather of the couch. She turned her face. The TV was still playing. Her mind was abuzz with sound and sensation.

"Oh yes,"she muttered.

It felt so good. Just letting go - letting him take control, use her almost. "Please, more-"

One hand began to round over her ass, dipping around to rub her clit a few times and then back to the cleft between her cheeks. He ran his thumb up and down it a few times, pausing as he reached her other entrance.

He hesitated. She curled her hips up tighter to him.

"Go on,"she urged.

The pain was sharp when he pressed his thumb into her. His hips rocked his cock more slowly inside her cunt, taking away some of the uncomfortable sensation he was making elsewhere. The motion was slick and fluid - god she was wet.

Why was she angry? She almost couldn't recall.

She felt a cold drop as he spat onto her ass, dampening his thumb a little and de pushed deeper until she cried out - fuck, it stung.

"Sorry-"he panted, pulling back a little until she reached out and grabbed his hand.

"No - keep going."

After a small pause, he did. His thumb massaging her as it worked its way deeper, making him feel even thicker inside her cunt and assaulting her body with a heady mixture of pain and pleasure combined with a feeling of wanton abandon.

Just what she needed.

"Fuck Emma, I'm coming-"

She bucked up against him, grinding harder. "Come on baby-"the challenge of bringing him over the edge now fuelling her.

The world was all sweat and breathing and skin sliding against skin now.

Yes.

"Shit-"he cried, pulling out of her quickly.

Not giving him a second, she turned around, grabbing his erection and pumping him fast until he came and emptied himself over her chest - his sticky release running down her skin as he lay over her, desperately trying to catch his breath.

"Hey," he smiled, learning down to give her a damp kiss.

Letting out a deep breath she replied, "Hey."

He began to nuzzle into her neck as she lay still, her mind quiet at last.

§

They had taken a shower together soon after. Enjoying each other's bodies, playfully kissing as he washed her hair and she rubbed soap into his skin. So delightfully ordinary and all the more precious to her because of it.

It had been decided an evening in with movies and takeout was needed. After drying her off, he placed her in bed before he went to make the order. "Are you sure you are okay Emma?" he asked, his eyes narrowing a little as made to leave the room.

"Of course," she lied, plumping up the pillows behind her.

For a moment or two, he stared. Maybe he didn't believe her. Maybe he knew more that he was letting on - he did say he was friends with Neal or Ben or whatever stupid name he was using now. The panic slackened in her chest when he nodded and went into the living room.

She shuffled to get comfortable before deciding to find a DVD to watch from the cabinet beneath the flatscreen at the foot of his bed. Padding over to it, she paused where she had left her purse on the floor. Automatically she grabbed her phone and pressed the power button, before tossing it aside as she looked over the titles.

The phone beeped - once, twice, three times.

She glanced where it lay: five missed calls, one text message. Gingerly picking it she typed in her access code.

Missed Call(s)

Neal (5)

Text Message

Neal

She tapped the little envelope icon, catching her breath when she saw the two words that could never be enough:

I'm sorry.

A/N reviews and messages make me happier than imagining baby unicorns!