Lily was still at her cabin in Indiana, helping Bobby with research. She preferred research most days. It was safer. More comfortable. She sometimes liked the thrill of hunting, but lately she just wanted a distraction from everything else going on. Research was great for that.
She was doing some reading when her phone rang. She checked the caller I.D. and smiled when she saw it was Dean.
"Hello?" she answered.
"I won't be making it back your way."
"Why not? Are you okay?"
"We caught a leviathan."
"You caught one? How did you manage that?"
"The thing was about to kill us when a witch came in and put a spell on it. It only lasts for a few days, so we're taking it back to the cabin in Whitefish to work on it."
"Did you say a witch?" Lily was confused. Witches and a leviathan in the same night seemed odd, to say the least.
"Yeah... long story."
"Okay, well, I'll head over."
"No, I don't want you there."
"What?"
"These things don't know who you are. I wanna keep it that way."
"Are you actually doing this to me again?"
"No, I'm not. This is just for a few days. If I can get to you without being followed, I will. I promise, I'm not cutting you out."
Lily closed her eyes and let out a breath. "Be careful, okay?"
"You know us."
"Yes, I do. That's why I'm asking you to be careful."
Dean smiled. "We will."
"I love you."
Lily hung up before Dean could respond. She didn't want him saying it in return just to keep from hurting her feelings, or because he didn't know what else to say, but she felt like she had to say it. She needed him to know it. He needed to know that she was always there for him, especially now with everything going on, and the big secret he was harboring. She had a gut feeling that he still hasn't told Sam about Amy.
A couple days later she turned on her television to take a break. The sight of Sam and Dean with machine guns on the news stopped her cold. She called both of their phones, repeatedly, but got no answer. She finally called Bobby and got the scoop. The guys were cloned by a couple of leviathans who were trying to draw them out and get them arrested. He had the one they caught in the basement, but he still hadn't found a way to kill it. She told Bobby to have Dean call her if he had the chance.
She jumped for the phone every time it rang. This time, it was Bobby again. With the help of Sheriff Mills, he finally found something that hurt leviathans.
"Round up all your cleanin' supplies. Look for anything that says 'borax.' Douse 'em, then chop off the heads. And keep the heads away from bodies... they have a tendency to reattach."
"Got it. Hey Bobby?"
"Yeah?"
"How are they?"
Bobby cringed. "I was hopin' you wouldn't ask."
"Well, that's not promising." Lily closed her eyes, preparing for the bad news.
"They got arrested in Iowa."
"Do they know about the borax?"
"Yeah, I talked to Dean. Must have been his one phone call."
"Well, that's something, I guess." Her voice was surprisingly calm, even to herself.
"You sound like you're takin' this better than I expected."
"Yeah, I guess I am. It's not like I don't know the risks of the job, but this leviathan thing is crazy."
"You're preachin' to the choir."
"Between that and Dean, I'm just worn out."
"Why Dean? What'd he do now?"
"Nothing... he's just been a bit off lately. He's drinking a lot."
"I noticed."
"See..."
"Any idea what's got him out of sorts?"
Lily wanted to slap herself for even bringing it up. She didn't want to lie to Bobby, but she had no choice. It wasn't her secret to tell. "No... I wish I knew."
"I don't know why you bother. It's not like you're stuck with him... or any of us, for that matter."
"You've said it yourself: family don't end with blood. You've all been there for me when I needed you."
Bobby grinned. This girl was definitely one of the gang. "Not to mention that whole love thing, right?"
"Watch it, old man." She heard him chuckle, which was a rare sound. "About that, though... I told him."
"And?"
"And, now he knows."
"No 'I love you, too?'"
"No."
Bobby sighed. "You know he cares about you, kid."
"I know he does. I just don't think he loves me like I love him. But that's okay. I'll take what I can get."
The sun set the next night, and Lily still hadn't heard from Dean. She was surprised to hear her doorbell. She carefully crept to the door and looked through the peephole. Dean. She knew that he and Sam had taken care of their clones, but she had to be careful. Would the leviathans try to clone them again? Lily grabbed the bucket of borax she now kept by the door, one of many well-placed containers, and flung the door open, dousing the man in front of her.
Dean took a step back as the liquid hit him. He ran a hand over his face, trying to wipe it away as he slowly blinked.
"I'm not a leviathan."
"Sorry. That'll teach you to call when people ask you to."
"I needed some time to think."
Lily looked behind him to the car parked outside. "Where's the Impala?"
"I had to tuck her away for a while. Those sons-of-bitches were driving around in a car just like mine."
"Where's Sam?"
"Sam..." Dean lowered his head and smiled a sad smile. "Sam doesn't wanna be anywhere near me right now."
"He found out." Lily didn't even need to ask. She knew Dean wasn't the one who told him. "Come in. Go get cleaned up. I'll fix you something to eat."
When Dean got out of the shower, he looked tired. Lily had a sandwich ready for him. They sat at the kitchen table and talked, Lily sitting right next to him.
"How did he find out?" she asked.
"I think Leviathan-me told him."
"How did it know?"
"Apparently they work like shifters... once they turn into you they can download all your thoughts and memories."
Lily put her hand on Dean's arm. "I'm sorry."
Dean put his hand on top of Lily's. "You were right. I should have told him."
"Well, you can't go back, so what are you gonna do now?"
"I'll let him cool off." Dean lifted her hand from his arm and held it, his eyes focused on their fingers. "I feel like my life is falling apart. Everything that's happened with Sam, everything with Cas... Now this. Even my car is on lockdown." He looked into Lily's eyes, with a tired smile. "You... you are the only good thing in my life right now."
Lily reached out and ran her hand across his cheek. When he closed his eyes, she leaned in to hug him. Her arms wrapped around him, and she felt him exhale before he put his arms around her.
"You seem exhausted," she said.
"I am."
Lily stood from her chair and lightly tugged on Dean's hand. "Come on." She held onto his hand as he stood and followed her to the bedroom. Dean lay down in her arms, and she ran her fingers through his hair until he fell asleep.