Resh POV
'How could I be so stupid? Of course their traditions are different. They know very little of the world and fear anything new and different to them. How could I even begin to think that they allow murder when in unprovoked combat?'
Now he would be lucky if he could go back to that town without having an angry mob trying to kill the 'violent murderer.' He could always just change forms and then start on a clean slate. But then he would have to explain his new appearance to Lydia which wasn't something he particularly wanted to do, especially if he were to try and avoid lying.
He wondered if she was in any kind of danger because of what he did. For all he knew, they might blame her for his arrival. He doubted she was in trouble, though. And if she was, she could probably deal with the fallout herself.
Resh was also starting to worry about where she would sleep without any money and no bedroll, as he had it. He could go this whole night awake and not get tired. Although Lydia, as he had learnt, needed a great deal of sleep in order to function. Then again, she'd somehow managed to acquire free drinks the whole evening. So he had no doubts that if she really wanted to find a warm bed to sleep in, she would manage to.
The Tsaesci couldn't help but feel like he needed to find a better way to apologise. She had seemed quite annoyed at him. Resh sighed. Were all humans this emotional?
Maybe a gift was required. If he were to find something that could make up for almost killing an innocent on purpose, perhaps she would be less angry at him. The only problem was: what he could possibly get her? She wasn't a Tsaesci, so that meant all ideas he could think of were wasted.
If only she were an alchemist. Then he could just drain out some of his venom, and give that to her because of its magical properties. Maybe he should just collect his venom and then sell it. It would be easy to just get her a cash sum instead of something that required thought. Although, when he thought about it like that, it seemed emotionless and like he was trying to buy her favour.
Resh growled out loud. He hated having to put thought into things. It was absurd that he, a Tsaescian warrior, was putting emotions into finding a gift for a savage. Why hadn't he just killed her while he still didn't like having her around?
If he hadn't done such a poor job last time, Resh could have just tried teaching her magic as a gift. But Resh guessed that she would probably not want to try learning again after what had happened to her hand. He still had all the night ahead of him. So he was sure he could think of something in that time. Maybe he could raid a group of bandits or adventurers and see if they had anything of value he could give her, like a sword or a piece of jewellery of some kind.
Perhaps the gift of knowledge was something she would want. But what kind of knowledge? He doubted she would want to know anything about history, or anything remotely academic related. That was for the educated. She had taken an abnormal interest in himself though, asking unnecessary personal questions and trying at every opportunity to find things out about him. He could just let her ask any question she wanted and promise to answer it. He didn't really like the idea of opening up like that, but it was better than spending an entire night trying to think of a way to make things right between the two of them.
Resh was happy he had found an easy option which required no effort. He still had the whole night ahead of him though, and he needed to find something to do.
'Who says I can't kill bandits for fun?'
In The Morning When Resh Gets To The Tavern
Resh found Lydia where he had left her. She was in the same inn, but this time she was wrapped in a blanket, probably given by one of the tavern workers. She was also curled up by the fire for warmth. He was deciding whether he should come back later so he wouldn't disturb her sleep. But that was when she shifted and her eyes opened, landing on him in the same pissed off way they had last night. She got up immediately and stretched. He could hear the cracking of bones that came from a bad night's sleep. She was obviously annoyed at him about the sleeping arrangements he left her in, she was still in her armour and had no bedding. Lydia was not pleased.
"Killed anyone else recently?" she said maliciously. He decided to ignore her snide comment, true though it may be because of the bandits, and press on forward with his apology to get it out of the way.
"Lydia, I'm honestly sorry about what happened yesterday. I can't say I didn't mean to do it, because I was in fact going kill him. But if I had known it was something you didn't want me to do, I wouldn't have even tried." He spoke with genuine honesty and sincerity, as if he had tarnished his honour.
Lydia was visibly shocked at how sympathetic and sorry he was being, but quickly regained her composure and replied, "It's okay Resh, I forgive you. If where you're from things are done differently than here then it's understandable why you did what you did. I shouldn't be angry at you if you were raised that way."
"Irrelevant. I spent a good deal of time last night thinking of a gift I could get you to make up for it. But I didn't know what you would want in that aspect. So I've decided that, because you seem to insist on asking me personal questions and trying to find out about me, a good gift would be information. Feel free to ask me any one question you want. As personal as you want and I'll give a direct answer. No mystery."
Lydia could see the amount of trust he'd placed in her with what he had offered. It made her proud that he wanted her forgiveness that much to offer something so personal. She wasn't going to waste this opportunity though. She had already thought of several questions to ask him. She needed more time to think of the right one, though. She couldn't waste this chance.
Resh POV
"Are you actually going to ask me something or are you going to stand there silent all day?" Resh asked, upon seeing the shocked expression on her face.
"Sorry. It's just that… you really don't have to do this if you don't want to. I understand if you'd prefer to keep your personal life private, so I don't want you to feel like you have to tell me something." She may have wanted to know more about her Thane, but she also wanted him to like her and actually want to share things with her. She didn't want to force information out of him.
"It's non-negotiable. Just ask me something now while I've promised that I won't get annoyed at the question."
Lydia was going to argue further, until the intelligent part of her brain cut in and reminded her not to ruin such a good opportunity. "I have loads of questions though. Can I have some time to decide what to ask?" If she was going to asking anything, one question was hardly enough.
"No. It's understandable why you have so many questions about me. I know how much of an enigma I am." He said it with pride, happy that he was so interesting.
Lydia remembered what she had once asked him to make him so furious, and decided she was still curious, so why not ask now? "I've actually tried asking you this before, but last time you came close to killing me." Lydia could have sworn she saw Resh shift uncomfortably at the mention of his anger and she took some sick form of satisfaction from his discomfort. "But I've got to know: why are you always so angry? It's as if every time you see anyone you get slightly more pissed off for no reason."
Resh sighed at the question, partly in relief, partly in annoyance. It would be a lot less damaging to his character than revealing his true self, but would also be a lot more difficult to explain.
When Resh started to explain his voice turned to a low hiss. "Almost a moon ago, I came to Skyrim. I saw some things that scarred me for life which I probably will never recover from they were so horrible. And made me rethink how I viewed all people. Nothing more than animals."
Lydia was silent, hanging on his every word, waiting for the more detailed account she expected. No such thing occurred though as Resh tried to change the subject. "So anyway… What's your past like? I'm sure there's lots of-"
Lydia saw what he was trying to do and quickly interjected before he could change the subject. "You said you would give me a proper direct answer, no mystery. That wasn't nearly good enough."
Resh growled, hating that he had been seen through so easily. "Fine," he hissed. "When I escaped Helgen, I had no idea what to do and found myself wandering. So I joined a group of bandits, not knowing what they were like." Resh shuddered in the middle of his story but carried on, "At first it was all going fine. We were getting along. I was starting to like them. Starting to become friends. That was until my first trip to Whiterun. There was a raid on a farm. It didn't take very long and the fight was disappointing."
Resh was now getting caught up in his own recollection, forgetting that Lydia was even there. "I heard a scream. It pierced the air. I assumed it was just someone scared of the shock of the raid, but I pushed open the door just to make sure. What I saw was horrible. It will haunt me for life. Knowing that someone can be do something like that honestly disgusts me how someone can be so dishonourable."
Resh stammered a bit before carrying on, restraining his anger. "The bandit leader, someone I had almost considered a friend, he was… he was about to lay with a woman who was unwilling. And he knew! I killed him before he did anything, of course, but what he did has left his mark on me."
"That's it?!" Lydia shouted incredulously. "You're scarred for life beyond repair because you saw an attempted rape?! Worse than that happens at your average festival when people drink too much." Lydia laughed and couldn't believe that someone like Resh could be so affected by something which was, unfortunately, part of life. Especially as he actually stopped it. It's not like he was forced to watch the whole scenario take place, or it happened to a loved one.
Resh did not find it as funny as Lydia did and scowled at her. "It's not funny," he snapped. "I didn't know that sort of thing happened."
"Have you been living under a rock your whole life? Did you honestly not know that's what bandits do to women?" Of course Lydia wished it never had to happen to anyone. But she had to take a few jabs at Resh, who was seemingly well educated in most things, but didn't know about something that was common knowledge.
"Where I'm from we don't have bandits. Unlike some, we're all civilised. I never even knew the word 'rape' until you had just said it. It just doesn't happen." Resh missed his home, where life was simple and honourable. But now he was stuck here because of who he was.
"No crime in an entire area? It sounds like paradise."
"Far from it," Resh muttered under his breath so she couldn't hear. Akavir was a war torn continent full of ice demons that could freeze a Tsaesci with a touch, and savage tiger beasts that consider themselves equal to his own kind and insisted on fighting back in their pointless wars. The worst part was that his species' war with the aforementioned Ka Po' Tun was starting to fall against their favour as well.
"Where are you from then?" Lydia asked at his silence, wondering where this crime free land she had never heard about was.
"I said you only get one personal question about me. Now let's get off this topic now," Resh told her, seeing if he could shut down the conversation. He was wrong.
Lydia smirked. "As you were so interested in my life earlier, trying to use it to divert the conversation, how about we talk about it now?"
Resh groaned. 'Why can't this woman just appreciate silence?'
He had known Lydia long enough to know that even if he didn't want to talk they would most likely end up doing so anyway. So he may as well get it over with.
"What's your family name? I'm surprised you haven't already told me considering how much you insist on talking." He decided that it was best to ask something he should have probably should have found out when he met her. Resh was surprised to see Lydia blush at his question. It was hardly an embarrassing thing to ask.
"I don't actually have a family name. I was left on the doorstep of the Whiterun Palace after I was born and there I was raised as a warrior. I have no family name, so I'm just 'Lydia of Whiterun.'"
He was confused at this. Why would she be named after a location? "Why are you embarrassed about it? There is nothing wrong with being a bastard," Resh asked. In Akavir, being born out of wedlock was not a problem. You just took the name of whoever raised you.
Lydia seemed to blush even more. "Maybe not from where you're from. When I lived in Whiterun, the other guards mocked me for it. They said I was probably an unwanted child of some… less respectable members of society."
Resh held back a growl and contemplated whether he should try to find these people and kill them. When he repeated what he had just thought over in his head he found himself surprised that he actually felt that protective of her.
Noticing his brief anger, Lydia decided to speak up again before he said anything violent that would spoil the conversation. "So anyway, what's your last name? I think it's only fair I know yours if you know mine."
"My last name is Resh," he replied in confusion. Why would she ask him something she already knew?
"Then why am I calling you Resh? That's so formal, what's your first name?"
Resh became even more confused at that. In Akavir the last name was the one that was personal to him. "My first name is Scaraviak," he answered.
"Would you prefer I called you that instead?"
"No. Why would you? That's my family name," he told her.
"That's odd. Your names are the wrong way round. Did you know that?"
Resh frowned at her words. Lydia was acting weirder every day. "I don't know what you mean by 'the wrong way round', but that's how my name has always been. Scaraviak-Resh. It's how it has been said by everyone I have known and the way I was raised saying it." Perhaps he should get Lydia checked for Brain Rot. He had heard of the many diseases that humans could contract. And judging from the way she sometimes acted, she could have a mild form of it.
He was about to bring it up before he realised that they should probably leave the tavern they were talking in. The commotion that he had caused yesterday hadn't gone unnoticed, and one of the locals had recognised him and was staring daggers at him. Resh wasn't afraid, knowing he could easily rip the man's skull from his spine if he tried anything. But he would rather try to avoid conflict in this little village from now on. Lydia realised the same thing he did when he started to leave, and quickly followed him out.
"That was probably a wise choice," she said as they began walking up the road for the start of their long journey to Winterhold.
"Of course it was. I was the one who made it. It seemed better than killing him just because he looked at me," Resh explained dryly.
"Anything else you want to ask me?" Lydia asked half-heartedly, not expecting his answer to be anything but a 'no' seeing as he wasn't overly fond of talking.
What came next was much to her surprise. "Actually, yes. How can you be so unaffected by all the horrible things that go on around you?" Resh sighed. "You didn't come close to expressing the sort of emotions I would have thought you would when I told you about the things I saw. Especially considering in that sort of… situation, it would be someone like you that is usually the victim."
Lydia frowned, she hadn't expected him to have been so affected by what he had seen. It hadn't seemed like much to her, but it was clearly something that troubled him greatly. She honestly couldn't understand how someone so un-innocent like Resh could at the same time be the most innocent person she had ever met.
"Well… I'm unaffected because it doesn't affect me…" Lydia explained. But upon seeing the look of disgust form on Resh's face, realised that what she had said may have come out wrong. "I mean, of course things like that are sad and horrible, and I wouldn't wish anything like that to happen to anyone. You've just got to learn not to dwell on it too much and be thankful that only a few suffer and that it's not yourself."
Resh still wasn't entirely happy with her answer. "But what about the people it does happen to? Why don't you always feel awful that there's nothing you can do to help all these people? I was happy thinking that there was never anything that awful that happened in the world. But now I just feel useless that I can't help."
"That's the thing though. You can help. I became a warrior so I could help people in situations like that. And you, you saw an attempt of rape and you straight away stopped it. People are helping. People like us are actually making the world better. You're definitely not useless."
Resh thought about it for a while and then his look of sadness about this topic seemed to dissipate, "Thank you, this talk was… worth having. You've made me feel Tsa- human again. It's nice to have a… friend to talk to about things."
"And then you've also got to remember that I'm not like some women. I'm not going to lay back and take it without a fight," she laughed to add some humour into the conversation, and it seemed to have worked. She could have sworn his usual annoyed expression seemed a slight bit less annoyed than usual and that there was a ghost of an expression that seemed somewhat … happy.
She hoped it would stay like that.