I don't waste any time getting back to the beach house. I left Jace standing at the corner of Legion Street and the Coast Highway. The moment I get to the house, I head straight to the casita and get into my pajamas, thinking about our fight. I had every right to do that…he's never kept secrets from me before. Maybe I overreacted a little bit…he has to have reasons for keeping this from me.
I definitely overreacted…but I am just so pissed that he is keeping something from me! No, I was wrong. He has every right to keep things from me if he wants to…but he's never kept anything from me before. I was always the one he would tell his secrets to…when Celine put him on house arrest he always told me why. We never had any secrets…
My train of thoughts gets broken off by hearing the door open and close quietly. I look up from where I'm standing by the bed and see Jace standing there. He looks at me cautiously like I was a wild animal that could charge at any time. We are motionless for the longest time, staring at each other, waiting for the other to speak first. "Jace-," I start before I am cut off.
"Clary, I am so sorry. I shouldn't-," it's my turn to cut him off as I walk over to him, reach up, and pull his lips down to mine. His lips are tensed against mine until I press harder against him and he immediately loosens up. His arms wrap around my waist as he pulls me closer to him. We break apart only when we desperately need air. Even then, we don't part very far as his head rests on mine. "Jace, I am so sorry," he opens his mouth to cut me off again but I don't let him.
"Let me finish. I need to respect your boundaries. I overreacted and I am so sorry for doing that. It's just that we have never kept secrets from each other before and when you did I got scared. I thought you were going to say that it was a bad idea for us to try to date because I wasn't doing anything. I love you so much and I don't want to let you go. Please don't tell me that you're sorry for keeping a secret from me because I need to be the one apologizing."
He steps away from me as his phone buzzes again. Ah, he put it on mute. He looks down at his phone as he digs it out of his pocket. A scowl grows on his face before he declines the call and looks back at me. "Clary, I'm sorry for not telling you what all the phone calls are about, but I promise I will tell you what they're about after this whole thing is over. I love you too."
I smile up at him and he grins back in return. His phone rings again and he looks up at me apologetically. I nod my head and when he walks out the balcony door I get into the bed and I immediately fall into a light sleep. Before I totally drift off I feel Jace slide into bed and wrap his arms around me. "I promise I'll tell you when this is all over. I love you," are the last words I hear before I fall into the arms of sleep.
The next morning
"Clary! Wakey, wakey! We have a lovely day of shopping ahead of us," Izzy shouts from outside the door and I cuddle into the warmth next to me just wanting to fall back asleep. "CLARY! Don't make me go in there!" I groan and roll over so I can face the warmth. I realize that the warmth I'm feeling is Jace's chest and he groans when Izzy starts pounding on the door. "I've been shouting at you for the past 15 minutes! GET UP!"
"Go away," Jace shouts in response to Izzy and pulls me closer into his chest. I smile as I feel Jace put his chin on top of my head and try to nuzzle deeper into him.
"Go away? Did he just tell me to go away?! That's it! I'm coming in whether you're dressed or not asshole," I hear her shout at Jace and I feel him shift so he can sit up. I roll onto my back and look at Jace glaring at the door. The doorknob starts to turn and Jace grabs a pillow from behind him and launches it at the door as it opens. Izzy's reflexes are quick, but not quick enough to dodge a pillow to the head by Jace.
She squeals and is glaring at Jace from her place outside the door. Jace stands up and walks around the bed and over to the door. She opens her mouth to say something to Jace and he shuts the door on her. He locks the door in every way possible and Izzy gets out of the shock she's in because nobody has ever done that to her, and starts shouting and pounding on the door.
Jace turns around and looks at the clock on my nightstand. He scoffs, "Tell me why your friend tried to wake us up at 6?"
"She's crazy," is my response and he walks over to the bed from the door and flops down on top of me. "Can I help you?"
He smiles, "Yes, actually. You can."
"Oh? And what is it that you'd like me to help you with?"
He leans down and kisses me gently on the lips. I smile against his lips and he pulls away to give me the smile he reserves for me. The 'you're my whole world' smile that lights up my day.
"I love you," I say.
His grin gets even wider as he says, "I love you too."
He rolls off of me and snakes back under the covers. We both roll onto our sides to face each other and Jace's hands find mine. He lifts one of our entwined hands to his mouth and kisses the back of my hand gently. "Are we okay," he asks, nervousness lacing his sleepy voice.
I smile gently as I reply, "Yeah. We're fine."
He smiles and kisses the tip of my nose.
Twelve hours later
After Izzy and Magnus effectively dragged me out of the bed, leaving a scowling Jace after them, they allowed me to get dressed into what I wanted (jeans and a plain t-shirt) before dragging me off to the mall. It was noon…we've been here for eight hours and we have been in 19 of the 20 'fashionable' stores as Iz and Mags have deemed them which means extremely expensive with clothes that are way too bright, short, and glittery for me…that doesn't mean that they won't try to force me into them though.
"Clary, you have to try this on," Izzy tells me as she shoves what looks like a tight long sleeved black shirt at me.
"What is it?"
"It's a dress Clary," she says and my eyes widen.
"No," I tell her sternly as I shove it back in her hands, "Not happening, Iz."
"Come on, please?" She tries to puppy dog eyes me and fails.
"No, Iz. That's not happening. If you think I'm trying that on you need to be checked into a mental institute."
"Fine, but you will try on anything Magnus and I tell you to in the last store." I nod my head quickly so I can get out of there! She smirks and heads to the checkout where Magnus is already adding another bag to his total; making 15 bags of clothes, pants, and other accessories. I see Izzy lean over and whisper something in Magnus' ear before he nods his head and makes his way over to me, smirking.
"Come on, Biscuit. We'll meet Izzy at the last store," he says and then escorts me to the next store. The last store is only ten steps away from me when my phone starts ringing. I stop walking to pull it out of my pocket and I see that it's Jace. "I'll meet you inside Magnus. It's Jace," I tell him.
He stops walking just as he's about to get into the store and says, "Oooh, Clary's getting dirty."
"Magnus," I scold him before stepping off to the side and answering my phone.
"Jace?"
"Clary, I am so sorry but I have to go," he says in a rushed tone.
"What?" He just called me, how does he need to go?
"Clary, I have to go back home."
"WHAT?! Jace, no you can't-"
"I have to, Clary."
I start towards the exit of the mall as quickly as I can so I can get back to the beach house to talk to Jace. "Jace, where are you right now?" I hear a door close and then he says, "I just passed Legion Street-"
I hang up as I get outside, knowing that I have a little time to get back to the beach house. I get a taxi the moment I step out the door and tell him the address of Izzy's beach house. We start moving and I sit there in the back seat with my head in my hands. Pretty soon, I feel the car stop and look up to see that we are on the Coast Highway, on the last hill before the beach house…it's a dead stop. No cars are moving and I know we won't be moving anytime soon. I groan and pull a 20 out of my pocket and throw it at the driver before I jump out of the car and start sprinting.
I run down the street and almost get hit by a car twice before I burst through the front door and into the casita. Jace looks up at me in shock. "Did you run here?"
"No, I took a taxi until there was too much traffic to move and then I ran the rest of the way," I answer while trying to pull precious air into my lungs. Once I catch my breath, I see that Jace has all of his suitcases packed. "Why do you have to leave," I question and see him hesitate. Then I hear footsteps running towards the casita and turn to see Simon in the doorway.
"Are you okay? I heard a bunch of running and-" he trails of when he sees the look on my face. He slowly backs out of the room and shuts the door behind him as he leaves. I lock the door and turn back to Jace. He slowly stands and starts to move around the room to get his bags.
"Clary, I have to go. I'll miss my flight."
I inhale sharply and the room starts spinning. I make my way over to the bed and sit, feeling my world come crashing down around me. Something in me knows that this isn't going to end well…I just hope that I'm wrong. "You- you're actually leaving," I look up at the golden eyes staring down at me and feel myself start to breathe faster.
"Clary, I told you. I need to go," he starts towards the door and when his hand grasps the knob I stop him.
"Jace…please tell me this isn't because of the phone calls."
His hand drops the doorknob and he turns to look at me. I stand up and look him in the eyes, waiting for his response. "Clary…" he says slowly and I know it's because of the calls. He starts to walk towards me and his hands grab my shoulders. I feel my eyes start to water and rouge tears fall down my cheek. His golden eyes look down at me with sorrow and I can't do it. I push his arms off of me and walk towards the door. He grabs my hand and tried to pull me back to him.
"NO," I shout and wrench my hand away from his. Shock fills his golden gaze as I let go. I can't hold it in anymore. The first argument was child's play compared to what was going to happen.
"What is so bad that you have to leave Jace? Why can't you tell me anything?" I know tears are coming faster as I wait for his response, but nothing in me has the strength to wipe them.
"Clary, you wouldn't-"
"I'm not taking that bullshit excuse Jace! Tell me the truth; tell me what's going on!"
His gaze hardens significantly as he responds, "I can't Clary! You don't know what is happening! You don't know what I'm going through!"
"Then tell me Jace! Tell me what's so bad! I'm here for you! You have to realize that I'm trying to help but you're not letting me in!"
He drags a hand through his messy blonde hair and spits out, "Not everything is about you Clary! I don't need to tell you everything! You're not the center of the universe and you need to grow up and accept that!"
My world stops spinning and I feel dread pierce my heart as he says those words, but he doesn't stop there. "You're too childish and immature to know what's going on! Suck it up! You're not the all knowing god of the universe so I don't need to tell you anything!"
"Fine then! If I'm too childish and immature for you then you can figure out how to live without me!" I feel the tears fall harder and I can't even think anymore. "We're DONE!"
"GOOD!" With that last word he picks up all of his bags and marches out the door, slamming it as he goes. I run to the door and lock it in as many ways as I can and walk the two steps to the bed before what just happened hits me.
My tears are like Niagara Falls and even though it's still early in the day, I crawl under the covers and cry myself to sleep. The last thoughts I have before I fall into sleeps welcome arms are heart wrenching. I cry countless tears for each individual thought:
Jace and I broke up.
We're done.
Our friendship is ruined.
I just lost the love of my life.