While You Were Sleeping

I do not own Fire Emblem or any of its characters.

(Meeting)

He wasn't ready.

Oifaye had given him the rundown before Azel was thrust back into the world, told him of how they- the others- had managed to find all of the children, even the ones who were supposedly lost forever. That was all the preparation Azel received before facing them.

Azel wasn't ready to deal with Prince Seliph and Princess Julia, who each managed to look shockingly like Lady Deirdre in completely different ways. He tried to relate the tall, courteous young man who now laid claim to all Grannvale with the toddler he'd given hobby-horse rides to and just couldn't. It made something ache between his eyes to even try.

He wasn't ready for the young man with the lion's mane of golden hair who looked exactly like King Eldigan... but wasn't. He wasn't ready for Prince Leif of Leonster, who looked identical to his father Quan from the back... and then turned to face Azel with his mother Ethlyn's eyes. And he really wasn't ready for the sight of little Lady Lana, a girl on the edge of womanhood who brought back memories of Aideen that made Azel a little heartsick.

This is the daughter that I... we... might've had, if everything had gone right.

The thought passed through his mind without warning and before he could lock it down and shut it away. That was the point where the whole mad kaleidoscope of names and faces and voices that didn't make sense to his head or his heart became much too much and Azel had to sit down, to find a place at the table far away from these splendid young creatures who looked either too much or not enough like his long-dead companions. And then they sat down opposite him.

Tiltyu's eyes, he thought. Arthur had Tiltyu's eyes. Strange how many of these young men took after their mothers.

Right now Tiltyu's eyes were looking across the table at him with an expression of cool appraisal, something as foreign to Tiltyu as, well, any number of things Azel couldn't tot up right then. Tiltyu had never looked at him or at anybody else like that, not that Azel ever saw. When Azel couldn't stand the eye contact with his son, he glanced over at Tinny, who sat with both her hands clutched together beneath her chin, a little silver squirrel grasping an invisible nut.

She didn't look like she hated him. Her first response to him had been only, "They told me you were dead."

"Ah..." Azel said now. What did he have to say to them, really, after fifteen years? The embarrassing silence reigned over the table, and when Azel couldn't take Tinny's stare any more either, he said, "Look, don't worry about me. Just... talk like I'm not here."

Arthur made a little noise, and Tinny frowned, but even so they didn't say a word. Then the young man with the mop of green hair who could only be Lewyn's son showed up to save them; Azel watched as both of his children slipped away laughing to be with their friend.

"This is a nightmare," Azel muttered to himself. He could feel perspiration trickling down the back of his neck. "Why on earth am I even here?"

"May I sit with you, Uncle?"

Azel's nerves were ragged enough that even this clear and melodious voice made him jump a little in his seat.

"Ah... sure."

She even sounded like Deirdre. Not exactly, but enough to be... disconcerting. Azel watched the Imperial Princess as she slipped into the seat beside him. This was the girl who'd inherited the full power of the god Naga and used it against her own twin; he could almost feel that power coming off of her, like the dazzle of the full moon upon snow... the way Azel had once thought he'd seen a corona of sacred fire around his brother.

"Do you need anything, Uncle? I'm sure this is all very strange to you."

Azel had to forcibly remind himself that this pale, lovely girl was his brother's child. Arvis and Deirdre together had made this ethereal yet powerful creature with hair like mist at dawn. Very strange didn't begin to cover it, really.

"I'm sure it'll take a while, but I'll get used to it," he said, and made himself smile at Julia.

She nodded, and something in her eyes showed an understanding of what he was going through. Azel wondered what Julia in her own short life had gone through; neither Oifaye nor Lewyn had told him much, but under the circumstances it couldn't possibly be good.

"Father spoke of you sometimes when I was a small child," she said now. "He cared for you very much, I know... he regretted it deeply that he never was able to see you again."

"Did he?" And Azel felt that involuntary tug in the direction of Lord Brother, as inexorable as a sunflower turning toward its sun, until the colder part of his being responded with a snap: then maybe Lord Brother shouldn't have ambushed and killed my friends and sent me running for Silesse.

"To think you were down there the entire time, and none of us had any idea," she was saying now, and the sorrow in her voice roused Azel to pity- for himself, for Arvis, for every missing day they might have shared as family in some other life. But something in Azel had iced over long before he'd fallen into that black sleep of Manfroy's creation, maybe as far back as the first time he'd been forced into Silessian exile. If Arvis hadn't done some terrible things and allied himself with truly terrible people, Azel wouldn't have spent fifteen years in the catacombs. And Princess Julia wouldn't have been compelled to obliterate her brother Julius. And...

And Azel wouldn't have two children who were perfect strangers to him now. He looked their way every now and again as he and Julia spoke of pleasantly inconsequential things; they seemed to be enjoying themselves. Tinny did look horribly like Tiltyu, especially when she turned so he could only see her face in profile, see the small nose and chin and the curve of her cheek as she turned her head. Arthur was all angles, and for a moment Azel was reminded of Arvis.

He wondered how long it would take to sink in that he'd never see Arvis or Tiltyu again. Part of him kept thinking of Tiltyu up there in Silesse, waiting...

Princess Julia was a sweet and compassionate girl, and Azel supposed she was being a good hostess, but when Prince Seliph (or was it Emperor Seliph now?) came to see how his sister was faring, Azel decided to excuse himself for the night. He was beyond tired, and supposed that he needed to sleep... though the idea of needing more sleep was funny in its own way. Maybe he just needed to be alone.

On his way back to his sleeping quarters- new and better rooms, suitable for a relation of the Imperial Princess- Azel caught a glimpse of some other people who'd slipped away from the party. They'd gone out onto a balcony, but Azel could see them plainly through an arched doorway as Shanan, his long black hair shimmering in the torchlight, bent over the girl with the golden braid who'd discovered Azel in the catacombs that morning. He could hear Shanan's new deep voice murmuring something in Patty's ear, and he heard Patty giggle in return.

Shanan's older than me, now. But he's young, and he's got that girl, and they look happy...

Azel didn't know what he was right then- old or young, alive or just pretending to be. He did know, or thought he knew, that he wasn't happy. And he didn't see much of a reason right then that he ought to be.

To Be Continued...

A/N: No, we are not going to be shipping Azel/Julia. Just so you know.