Dean held Lily close, neither of them speaking for a while before Lily couldn't hold the question anymore.
"What are you thinking?"
"I'm thinking how good it feels to have you in my arms."
Lily snuggled closer. "It feels wonderful." She lay quietly again for just a moment. "What were you thinking when you kissed my stomach?" Dean didn't answer, so Lily kept going. "I saw your face, Dean."
"I wasn't really thinking anything. I was kissing you, and when I got to your stomach it just hit me that our baby was in there."
"Would you...," Lily hesitated. She didn't want to upset him, but she couldn't stop thinking about it. "How would you feel about actually trying to have a baby one day?"
Dean let out a breath. "Sweetheart, I would love for you to carry my baby, but I just don't see..."
"No. Let's not talk about our lives or what could go wrong. Let's just talk about me, you, and the possibility of a baby."
"If we didn't have this life, yes, I would definitely wanna have a baby with you."
"Boy or girl?"
"It wouldn't matter."
Lily smiled. "Last time we talked I kinda got the feeling you'd prefer a little girl."
"Honestly... there's not much better than a little girl who looks just like her beautiful mother."
Lily was blown away. "I don't know how you do it," she said.
"Do what?"
"Get me to fall more in love with you every day."
"I don't know how I do it, either."
"But you do." She kissed him, running her hand down his chest. "So... Planning for a baby?"
"I don't think we should make any decisions about planning for a baby while we're still grieving the one we lost."
Lily sighed. "You're probably right."
"And I have to be honest, I don't see me planning to have a baby. As much as I would love for you to be the mother of my child, I don't think I could purposely bring a child into this life. If it were to just happen again, I would love that baby with all I have, but..." Dean stopped talking, and Lily could see his eyes welling up.
"It's okay... I understand." She wrapped Dean in her arms, running a hand through his hair. "Dean..."
"Yeah?"
"Thank you for talking to me about this."
Dean nuzzled his face into her neck. "I love you, sweetheart."
"I love you, too."
Lily stayed wrapped up in Dean until she felt herself drifting off. Dean had fallen asleep, so she carefully pulled away, trying not to wake him, but it was hard not to. Dean was always on alert.
"Where you goin'?"
"I never did get my bath."
"Well, maybe I wanna join you."
"Works for me," she said with a smile. "Give me a minute first, okay?" She kissed him, then found his shirt on the floor and pulled it on.
"Damn, Kitten," Dean said with a pout. "You covered up the view."
Lily glanced at him over her shoulder as she entered the bathroom. She heard him counting down from sixty, and she knew he wasn't joking. He'd be at the door, ready to come in when he reached "one." She adjusted the water temperature to get the tub filled, then used the dimmer to turn the lights down a little. Most women would light some candles, put on soft music, maybe have something scented going... not Lily. She and Dean didn't need any of that. They just had to be close to each other, and the temperature in the room went up. The dimmed light was all they needed for romance, and even that wasn't what she intended it for. She wanted to take care of Dean. When he told her he wanted to join her in the bath, she immediately had images of holding him and lightly washing the tension from his muscles.
She pinned up her hair, turned off the water, and turned on the tub jets. She had just slipped into the churning water when Dean came through the door. Lily crooked her finger, motioning for him to come to her.
"Get in," she said with a smile. She leaned back against the tub, which had a slight incline for relaxing.
"Scoot up."
Lily shook her head. "Get in." Dean stepped into the tub and began to sit facing Lily, but she shook her head again. "Turn around."
Dean finally got the idea. He turned around and slid back between Lily's legs, pulling them into his lap as they wrapped around his waist from behind. He leaned back against her and lay his head on her shoulder.
"Now what?" he asked with a grin.
"Close your eyes."
Dean followed instructions, and Lily's hands began to roam under the water. She couldn't see through the bubbles the jets were making and her hand found something she hadn't intended.
Dean jumped, and his eyes popped open. "Hey, what kinda bath is this?"
"Sorry," Lily giggled. "I'm tryin' to find the wash cloth."
"Well, that ain't it... but you're welcome to touch it again."
"Maybe later," she said, smiling. She finally found the wash cloth. "Got it... Close your eyes."
"You gonna take advantage of me again?"
"Dean..."
"Okay... eyes closed."
She lifted the cloth out of the water and let it slide gently over Dean's exposed chest. She squeezed it, letting the warm water pour out of it, down his skin. She softly wiped his face and neck, placing light kisses periodically along the way. Once, she kissed him a little too close to his lips. He turned his head and completely captured her mouth with his. It took her a moment to gather the will to pull away.
"I'm not done yet," she said. "Behave."
Lily washed down his arms and chest, then had him sit up for a moment so she could run the cloth over his back. She quickly dropped the cloth and rubbed with her hands for a few minutes before pulling him to lay back against her again. She could feel that the tension in his body had faded as she wrapped her arms around him.
Lily began kissing his shoulder and neck. Dean's eyes were still closed as he reached for Lily's hand and brought it to his lips, then put it flat against his chest.
"Are you relaxed?" she asked.
"Mmhmm..."
"Good." She lightly tugged his earlobe between her lips, then continued kissing his neck.
"I thought we were behaving?"
"You're behaving... I'm taking care of you."
"Well, sweetheart, if you don't behave it won't be long before my body starts to misbehave all on its own."
"I know," she said with a grin. "Gotta love biology."
A big smile spread across Dean's face. "You bad girl."
Dean ran his hands up and down Lily's legs as she continued to kiss his neck. It had been years since she had seen Dean so relaxed. The slight smile on his face made him look so youthful. More like the Dean she knew when they first hooked up. It seemed like so long ago.
Her hands disappeared beneath the water, still bubbling from the jets, and found the one part of Dean that wasn't so relaxed. She felt some of his other muscles tense as she moved her hands over him, and she decided to have some fun.
"Well, if you're gonna tense up then I can't do this," she said playfully. She removed her hands and Dean began to protest.
"Wait a minute..."
"The whole point is for you to relax."
"Screw relaxation, I like what you were doing."
"But you were getting all tensed up again."
"Sweetheart, sometimes, tension is a good thing... A very, very good thing."
"Should I try again?" she asked with a smile.
"Oh, I think you should."
"Okay," she said with a smile. "Just one thing first..." She turned Dean's face to hers and kissed him deeply. As the kiss continued, Lily's hands made their way back under the water.
Dean practically growled against her mouth. He knew he wouldn't last if she kept this up, and he wanted to be inside of her. He managed to stand up in one swift movement. He pulled a towel from its resting place and began to dry off.
"Stand up," he told Lily. Dropping his towel, he grabbed another and began to dry Lily, a little more gently, then lifted her out of the tub. He placed her feet on the floor and kissed her neck as he continued to dry her. When he finally threw the towel aside, he pulled her to him roughly and attacked her lips. She pulled back for air and stared into his eyes as he walked her backwards into the bedroom.
"If I didn't know better," she said, "that look would scare me."
"Well, it should. I'm about to show you what happens to bad girls when they play with bad boys."