A/N: I'm a TBBT nostalgic and with this story I really want to celebrate an aspect of the show that, to me, makes it shine: the Shenny relationship. I debated over on ShennyHQ (a great place for meeting show nostalgics, Sheldon purists and of course our ever lovin' Shenny 'shippers) whether to make this a romance or 'just a friendship' fic but it came to me that downplaying their friendship misses the point: Sheldon and Penny are first and foremost friends and it's from that point that the added chemistry of two stubborn and passionate people genuinely liking and loving each other has springboarded an entire following of Shenny 'shippers and writers. To understand Shenny is to know that it isn't vested in a romantic endgame it's the journey and what a journey it is with sarcasm and glaring looks. Prank wars and adhesive ducks.
Penny has truly taken her 'whackadoodle' Where No Sheldon Has Gone Before.
…
Thanks again to Rene' for looking over yet another attempt at a short story gone horribly astray. Your council is legendary and appreciated.
For Zelha, who wrote such a warm and wonderful letter. I've taken your suggestion and run with it regarding Penny's career (so mum's the word!). It's not the sequel you wanted to 'Daily Occurrences' but I hope you like it nonetheless. *Lynn
Each day is separated by a xTBBTx. Note that the days are NOT consecutive.
Events happening on the same day are separated by a XxX.
Of course I don't own The Big Bang Theory. I just like to play in their world.
xTBBTx
Each friend represents a world in us, a world possibly not born until they arrive, and it is only by this meeting that a new world is born. –Anais Nin, The Diary of Anais Nin
…
Reference to and dialogue from: 'The Plimpton Stimulation'; 'The Higgs Boson Observation'; 'The Staircase Implementation'; 'The Luminous Fish Effect'; 'Pilot'
**Two Years Later**
Sheldon removed his sleep mask before reaching across to silence the alarm. He returned to his prone position and carefully moved his feet up and down. Next he raised his arms several times. Satisfied that he hadn't strained anything in the night he sat up and pulled back the blankets. He rolled his feet in a circular motion before slipping them into his slippers. Tilting his head back, he rocked it from side to side before making a complete circle. As he stood Sheldon began rolling his shoulders and wrists.
"Vocal test. Morning vocal test." He winced. Off by one note. He cleared his throat. "Second vocal test. Second morning vocal test." Now satisfied he put on his housecoat and made his way down the hall to the washroom. On top of the toilet tank was a tub of antibacterial cloths; he pulled one out and used it to raise the toilet seat. He then reached into his pajama pants for his penis in order to complete his mission.
"Pee for Houston, pee for Austin, pee for the state my heart got lost in." He completed his job. "And shake twice for Texas." Sheldon pulled out another wipe and flushed the toilet. He then wiped down the seat. Crossing over to the sink he applied antibacterial soap to his hands before turning on the tap. After rinsing his hands he dried them with his Monday towel and proceeded to shave.
After he had finished and cleaned up he departed for the kitchen. He went to the cupboard and pulled out his juice glass before opening the refrigerator and pouring himself a half glass of pulp-free orange juice. As he drank he consulted his daily fecal chart. According to the shape, colour and consistency of yesterday's bowel movements he should pick a cereal in the mid-range of fiber content.
Once his cereal was properly measured and combined with a quarter cup milk Sheldon ventured with bowl and glass in hand to his lawn chair and sat. He turned on the tv to the weather network and set the remote on the table before applying antibacterial cleanser to his hands.
As he ate he watched the forecast, the meteorologist giving a ten percent chance of rain. While that might not seem much it still wasn't zero percent and as he spent time working with quantum numbers he knew an awful lot happened between one and zero. He'd bring an umbrella.
He turned off the television, gathered his dishes and made his way to the sink to wash them. Sheldon checked the time on the stove. Five to eight. His bowel was once again like clockwork.
Sheldon went to the washroom and got out his bathroom equipment. As he went he donned a pair of latex gloves before opening a ziplock bag and pulling out a metal ruler. The physicist got up and measured his excrement before returning the ruler to its bag. He then pinched the feces with his fingers to note consistency. Now satisfied he again sat and stripped off his gloves so he could finish cleaning himself.
After washing his hands he stripped and filled the foot bowl with warm water and antibacterial soap. He turned on the shower before stepping into the bowl and swishing his feet. Approximately one minute later he went into the tub and closed the curtain. He lathered himself, first with a bar of Ivory soap then a second time with Ivory shower gel, all the while letting the Johnson's Baby Shampoo with its no more tears formula sit in his hair.
Once clean he exited the tub and dried himself with a towel before dumping the foot bowl water. He then sprayed the bowl with bleach before proceeding to coat the shower walls, tub and curtain.
He stood back behind the tape line in front of the sink and flossed and brushed his teeth before putting his toothbrush back under the UV light in its plexiglass case.
Grabbing his clothes he padded into his bedroom and put them in the hamper before venturing to his closet and dresser to pick out his Monday apparel. Monday meant 'Green Lantern' and since this was the first Monday that meant an original Green Lantern shirt. Sheldon applied deodorant and talc to his person before dressing, slipping on his shoes after donning his bus pants and tan windbreaker.
Back in the living room he recorded his fecal findings on the refrigerator chart before slinging his messenger bag across his body. Sheldon went to the front door, grabbed his keys and umbrella and checked his watch. He was thirty five seconds early.
He waited.
Thirty five seconds later he opened the door and turned out the lights before locking up.
Dr. Sheldon Cooper was on his way.
XxX
Sheldon hated the bus. It wasn't just a biohazard on wheels; its very nature was contrary to his own. Oh sure, it was supposed to follow a schedule, but did it arrive at eight forty? No. Sometimes it was eight forty two or eight thirty eight. Then there was that day it came at eight thirty five. He had to run for it and twisted his ankle. The Pasadena Transit Authority got an earful for that one.
Then there was the problem of stopping for other passengers. As he could only approximate the amount of people boarding and disembarking from the bus as well as the average speed of the vehicle itself the whole affair quickly devolved into entropic chaos. Either he'd be on time or late for work as he didn't have the ability to be both simultaneously like Schrodinger's cat.
There was a plethora of banal chattering around him and he did his best to ignore it by looking out the window. It was the same route he'd travelled for four years. With his eidetic memory he remembered each shop and house just like he could tell in a glance how many new people there were on the bus when he boarded.
Fortunately the woman with red pigtails and an incessant need to say "well, duh, yeah" into her phone every twenty seconds was here and would disembark with him at the university. Not that he cared for her company; he loathed ringing the bell cord after he'd once taken a cotton swab to it and had determined its bacterial count.
Sheldon undid the bungee cords that lashed him to his seat and tucked them into his messenger bag as the bus came to a stop. He exited and waited for the light before crossing onto campus. Caltech was his first choice in where he wanted to work as it was both close to and far away from Galveston. Not that he visited his hometown often; indeed it was at his mother's insistence that he 'got his caboose on the train' to visit family.
That was three years ago.
He arrived at the physics building and proceeded to the faculty mailboxes. As he opened the door he inwardly sighed as Shirley, the department secretary, was busy sliding papers into the boxes.
"Hello, Dr. Cooper," she said in a friendly manner. She'd learned the hard way not to say 'good morning' as he'd badgered her into explaining her reasons for determining why the day was 'good' as opposed to ordinary.
"Ms. Grant," he replied as he opened his box, causing Shirley to smile. Dr. Cooper was the only one to call her that.
Sheldon took out his sole piece of mail: a memo reminding people that the application for department head deadline was this Friday. He slipped it into the recycling bucket and left.
All the way down the various corridors he encountered other faculty members and gave a curt acknowledgement where necessary but for the most part he passed in silence as people knew his discomfort with the whole greeting process.
He fished out his keys, unlocked his office door and entered. His eyes gave a quick scan of the room and once he was satisfied that nothing was touched he crossed over to his desk and set his messenger bag and umbrella on the floor next to his chair. Grabbing an antibacterial cloth from a dispenser on his desk he wiped the light switch. He then took off his bus pants, folded it and placed it in a reusable shopping bag and stuck it in the corner. Next out was his own sanitizer as he slowly lathered his hands. Satisfied with his state of cleanliness he settled himself down to business and read over his work on the whiteboards.
As he lost himself in the numbers the tension in his body subsided. Gone were the nagging thoughts of the germ content of his surroundings and the distraction of being in close proximity with so many people. Here on his whiteboards was solitude, where his Beautiful Mind transported itself into the very heart of the Early Universe.
A thought came to him and Sheldon went to another board and quickly jotted it down, letters and numbers forming a complex equation across its surface. He stood back and pondered.
"Still not right," he muttered. The black hole information paradox was a real puzzler; no wonder Hawking and others failed to solve it. Of course they weren't Sheldon Cooper.
The lanky man returned to his first board and resumed his work.
XxX
"I'm sorry but your rice-to-raisin ratio is unacceptable," Sheldon tsked to the cashier as he held up a bowl of rice pudding. "Over the past year and a half since the hiring of the new kitchen manager the raisin count has declined by thirty two percent. I know; I counted."
"So take it up with him," the lady said as she punched through his salmon on whole wheat bread and bottled water. She indicated the pudding. "Do you want that?"
"Such a dynamic question. 'Do I want it'? Yes, I do want rice pudding. You advertize having rice pudding and yet this"—again he held it up—"isn't rice pudding. If anything it's an egg-rice casserole."
"Hey," said a voice from behind. Sheldon turned to see a short man with a bowl haircut, bright red pants with a large alien head buckle, a red checkered shirt and dicky. "Do you mind? We're all on a schedule here."
"Good point." Sheldon turned to the cashier. "The sooner the manager gets here the sooner we can all enjoy our lunch and get back to work."
The cashier rolled her eyes.
XxX
"Nice of you to join us," smirked Raj as an exasperated Howard set his tray on the lunch table.
"Yeah, well it's not my fault. I was stuck behind a whole whack of crazy," he growled as he opened his bottled water.
Leonard looked around warily. "I didn't see Professor Rothman."
"No. A lot taller and a whole lot whackier. Well except for the urine thing." Howard indicated Sheldon, who sat alone at another table. "Over there. Looks like a praying mantis. He said the raisin count was unsatisfactory in the rice pudding."
"Oh my God," said Leonard incredulously. "That's the guy I told you about when I was looking for an apartment. That's Sheldon Cooper."
Raj casually turned so he could take in the tall man. Sheldon seemed normal enough although he did have an enormous stack of napkins on his tray.
"Green Lantern shirt. Nice," he said as he returned to his friends.
"No wonder he went on about the raisin count messing with his fiber content," chuckled Howard.
"Complete nut job," agreed the experimental physicist. "So anyways, I was on the Star Trek message board last night and this guy was counting the amount of ethnic comments on the Original Series. He went into Scott's use of 'haggis'—"
Raj nodded. "And he calls his engines his 'bairns'."
"Then there's Chekov with his 'nuclear wessels'," chuckled the engineer.
As the trio laughed Sheldon rolled his eyes. Chekov's pronunciation was not an 'ethnic comment' in its pure form. If this was the type of precision thinking they did he truly wept for the department that hired them.
He heard everything they said—including their comments about him. Not that it mattered to Sheldon; he'd been called crazy more times than he could count. No, that's not true. It was four hundred and sixty three if he just added up the word 'crazy'. If he totaled the actual references to his mental state that'd be over a thousand.
Okay, twelve hundred and seventeen.
Of course the joke was on them. Sheldon's mom had him tested and he had passed the sanity quotient. A sudden thought came to him that she never mentioned by how much but he shrugged it off as he moved aside his strawberry sundae. He'd decided to go with that after receiving no satisfaction regarding the rice pudding.
Sheldon pulled his Tardis pen out of his pocket and scribbled down bits of formulas on the napkins as he ate. Granted this wasn't the time or place to be doing work but when an idea struck all else fell to the wayside.
"…Then Spock said 'fascinating' in 'The Changeling' so that's thirty seven," added Leonard.
"I think that about covers it," said Howard.
Raj shrugged. "I think there's more."
"Any time you want to add more, go for it," the engineer prodded.
"Let's do another one," Raj pouted.
"How about the number of times Chekov falsely attributes something to Russia?" offered Leonard.
"He said 'Alice in Wonderland' was Russian in 'Who Mourns for Adonais' and claimed the Garden of Eden myth in 'The Apple'," began the astrophysicist.
"There was the little old lady in Leningrad who invented scotch," said Howard.
"I think there's one more." Raj perked up. "In 'Friday's Child' he claims the phrase 'Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me'."
Leonard was satisfied. "Okay, next topic: how many ti—"
"Chekov also claimed Sherman's Planet was mapped by Ivan Burkoff," added a voice with a slight East Texas twang. The trio turned to see Sheldon in the midst of tossing out his garbage. "And if you include movies he also mentioned 'Cinderella' in 'The Undiscovered Country'." He placed his tray on the counter and turned to go but instead halted and faced the other men.
"And FYI Spock said 'Fascinating' forty-nine times. You're missing 'Spock's Brain', 'Is There In Truth No Beauty', 'Spectre of the Gun', 'That Which Survives', 'By Any Other Name', 'Mirror, Mirror', 'The Gamesters of Triskelion', 'The Changeling', 'Patterns of Force', 'The Book' and Star Trek The Motion Picture concerning V'ger, Wrath of Khan concerning Genesis and upon arrival at Sha Ka Ree in The Final Frontier. Oh, and you counted 'The Omega Glory' twice."
Sheldon exited the cafeteria.
XxX
Sheldon entered 2311 N. Los Robles Avenue with a bag of Thai food and proceeded to get his mail before entering the elevator and pressing for the fourth floor. He dug out his keys from his pocket and when the doors opened he stepped out only to be distracted by movement to his right. He was stock still as he took in a young woman with blunt cut blonde hair that was much too blonde unless she was of Scandinavian descent which was completely ridiculous given her facial bone structure. She was wearing a baby blue t-shirt, cut off jean shorts like the type his sister Missy wore—although Missy's legs hadn't looked so…proportional—and flip-flops. The woman picked up a picture frame from a box and spotted the physicist in the hall. He lowered his eyes and made to turn away.
"Hi!" she said enthusiastically.
"Hello." Sheldon went to unlock his door.
"So you're my neighbor," she grinned.
"As I'm opening the door with a key instead of kicking it in that would be a logical assumption." He straightened and glanced in her general direction. "However I could as easily be a friend or relative looking after the apartment or else a mugger come to further loot his victim."
She leaned against her doorframe. "I don't think muggers bring take-out to the scene of the crime."
"Point."
"I'm Penny."
Drat. He knew he should have left before they were officially introduced.
"Dr. Sheldon Cooper," he said evenly and went to enter his apartment.
"Wow. Nice to know there's a doc around in case of an emergency."
His hand froze on the knob. "I'm a physicist not a physician."
"Ah. Math stuff." A twitch seemed to pass through Sheldon's frame before he again turned to her.
"Penny, it is my understanding that neighbors extend friendly banter as a courtesy."
"Sure," she said, although she was unsure as to where this was going.
"Please refrain from doing so. If you feel the need to blather it's been my experience that Mrs. Vartabedian in 3A has an equal penchant for inane conversation."
As she was wrapping her head around what he said Sheldon entered the apartment and closed his door. He turned the locks and set the food down on the stand next to the door before pulling out an antibacterial wipe from the dispenser and proceeded to wipe down the locks and his keys before placing the latter in a bowl. Next he took off his shoes and reached for the Lysol spray and thoroughly doused them in the antibacterial cloud. He then sprayed his socks before taking up his shoes and food and stepping off the floor mat into his apartment proper.
He walked by the table and set down the bag of food. Sheldon then entered his room and set his shoes on the shoe mat in his closet and placed his messenger bag and umbrella in the plastic tub he kept for contaminated objects. He stripped out of his bus pants, adding them to the bin before dabbing his hands with sanitizer. Taking up the bin, the physicist proceeded to the bathroom and disinfected the items. He hung them over the curtain rod and then spent the next three minutes washing and rewashing his hands.
The lanky man returned to his bedroom and donned his slippers and padded his way to the living room. He took out his food packets before depositing the bag in the garbage. After cleaning his hands he grabbed a fork and bottled water from the refrigerator before sitting down on the lawn chair. Taking up the remote he resumed his Battlestar Galactica dvd with commentary.
As he ate he could hear his new neighbor moving boxes and whatnot around her apartment. With a frown he upped the tv volume. Perhaps it would have been better to move his chair closer in order to prevent future hearing loss but the chair was positioned in the optimal spot and he couldn't bear to sit in a substandard location.
"I'm bringing sexy back," came an off-key caterwaul from the hall. "Ooo. Ooo."
Sheldon rolled his eyes. He missed Louis/Louise already.
"Get your sexy on, go ahead be gone with it, uhh, uhh, uhh."
With a growl the physicist set down his food and paused the dvd before getting up and marching to the door.
"Come let me make up for the things you lack. Ooo. Ooo."
Sheldon traded his inside slippers for his outside ones and stepped out of his apartment and across the hall. Penny looked up.
"Hey," she smiled. "What can I do for ya?"
"I'm not sure if the superintendent went over the neighbor relations and responsibilities in the lease but in case he hasn't I'd like to remind you that there is a noise ordinance in order that all residents can enjoy their abodes in relative peace," he said a tad briskly.
"Oh. Gotcha. Sorry about that. I'll close my door."
Sheldon gave a curt nod and went back to his apartment.
XxX
Sheldon's Log. Star Date 060601.
Ms. Grant greeted me. Again. I shall have to bring it up with Dr. Hester but the man seems to be disinterested in the whole affair. No wonder he's resigning as department head, he can't resolve the simplest of matters.
I had enough of the cafeteria passing off their 'rice pudding' as the genuine article but received no satisfaction from the kitchen manager. I wrote a letter to President Siebert regarding the incident and deposited it in his suggestion box.
I encountered Leonard Hofstadter and two associates in the cafeteria discussing Star Trek trivia. I had to correct them twice. It's a good thing Leonard didn't take the spare room. If he can't remember the amount of times Spock said 'fascinating' he really can't be considered a true Star Trek aficionado.
They all agreed that I was mentally unstable. They might mock me now but when the 'rice pudding' is rectified who'll be the one to laugh?
I have a new neighbor across the hall. Her name is Penny and from her accent I surmise she originates somewhere in the Midwest. She's also a deplorable singer and much chipper than I thought humanly possible outside of intoxication.
Bowel movements normal.
Temperature normal.
End Log.
xTBBTx
Sheldon's lips were pursed as he made his way down the hall. He wasn't a particular fan of the experimental physics wing—or experimental physicists in general—but need forced his hand.
He stopped in front of an open door and saw a brown curly-haired woman with glasses lining up a cup of ramen noodles in front of a laser.
Knock Knock Knock "Dr. Winkle."
"Just a moment."
Knock Knock Knock "Dr. Winkle."
Leslie Winkle looked over at the gangly man wearing a Flash t-shirt and brown plaid pants with a frown.
"A minute," she hissed as she went to the laser and turned it on for a second and a half. Smiling, she reached for the hot cup of noodles. "Yes?" Sheldon didn't say anything. "Hello there!"
"You said you needed a minute," he replied evenly.
"Well, obviously I don't."
"This inability to judge time could explain the inaccuracies in your basic research." He knocked three times. "Dr. Winkle."
"What do you want?" she growled.
"I need the free electron laser."
Leslie tore off the cup's lid and blew on the noodles. "We all need the laser. Get on the list."
"Yes, I've looked over this 'list' and reject this willy-nilly style of research," said Sheldon as he folded his arms across his chest. "It should be based on scientific necessity."
"So where are you on the list?"
"Fourteenth."
"Sucks to be you," grinned the optical physicist, garnering a glare.
"Dr. Winkle, while I'm sure you think your experiments are noteworthy the free electron laser is meant for significant research."
"Excuse me?" Leslie jabbed her fork into the noodle cup. "Listen dumbass—"
"Dr. Sheldon Cooper."
"Whatever. Get out of my lab."
Sheldon looked dismissively at her noodles.
"Perhaps you should leave physics to the men so you can further explore your culinary skills in a proper kitchen."
"Out!"
Sheldon was beside himself. "We'll see what Dr. Hester has to say about this." He stormed out of the room and made a beeline to the department head's office.
"Hello, Dr. Cooper," Shirley said from behind her desk. "Can I help you with something?"
"That depends. Can you give me access to the free electron laser instead of that meanie, Dr. Winkle? Of course not, you're menial labor. As my Meemaw says why spend time with the monkey when it's the organ grinder that runs the show." Sheldon stepped beyond her to the department head's door.
Knock Knock Knock "Dr. Hester?"
Knock Knock Knock "Dr. Hester?"
Knock Knock Knock "Dr. Hester?"
Silence
"I know you're in there. I heard you sigh."
"Come in Dr. Cooper," came the weary response.
Sheldon entered the office to find Dr. Gavin Hester working at his laptop.
"Oh, I'm sorry," the physicist said. "I didn't know you were working." Pause. "Of course I doubt it's anything significant so I'll only be a moment. Dr. Winkle is being uncooperative."
Dr. Hester raised his glasses high on his balding head and sat back in his chair.
"What did she do?" he asked.
"She won't give me her spot in line to use the free electron laser."
"There's a reason why we have a sign up sheet, Dr. Cooper. It staves off disputes."
Sheldon rolled his eyes. "Having the ability to sign one's name on a sheet is hardly a rational way to distribute a valuable resource."
Dr. Hester inwardly sighed. "So what do you propose?"
"Each candidate should submit a one thousand word synopsis of his or her research so that an order can be assigned according to merit."
"And just who is supposed to judge merit?"
"Normally that would fall under your paradigm as department head but from your disinterest in continuing your role much less delve into current research I doubt you'd be able to keep up," sniffed Sheldon.
"Well I'll 'keep' that in mind the next time we have a signup for equipment," Dr. Hester said curtly.
"Next time?" squawked the lanky man. "What about this time?"
"We'll just have to go with it for now."
"'Go with it'? What kind of hippy dippy science is that? 'Go with it'. Yes, let's just go with the early Church that the Earth was the center of the universe," Sheldon said excitedly. "Or perhaps we'll just concede that Einstein was right and that the universe is a cosmological constant despite the fact we all know it's expanding."
"Dr. Cooper, aside from bumping Dr. Winkle in line for the laser—which I'm not going to do—is there anything else you need?"
"What I need is a better department head," growled Sheldon as he stomped out of the room.
Dr. Hester sighed and ran a hand over his bald spot. Only two more months and he was out of there.
XxX
Penny entered the apartment lobby after a long shift at work. All she wanted to do was clean up and get things lined up for the weekend since this was her first one off in months. She took in Sheldon standing in front of the elevator with a package in hand and a messenger bag slung across his body.
"Hey Sheldon," she said cheerily as she stepped beside him.
"Dr. Cooper," he amended evenly without looking at her.
The elevator door opened and they both stepped in. It was in such close proximity that he noticed the faint smell of cheesecake emanating off his neighbor. His eyes flickered over her clothes and noted what looked like food stains on her yellow vest. She was more conservatively dressed than when he'd first encountered her although the buttons of her white blouse were strategically open to allow a glance at her cleavage.
Once at their floor the pair exited and went to their respective doors. Locks turned and in a moment the hall was empty.
Penny tossed her purse on the couch even as she slipped out of her shoes. Next to go was her uniform.
"Shower first. Food next," she murmured to herself while pulling out her silky shorts and chemise from under her pillow. Her phone sent out a call letting her know that she'd received a message. She raced into the living room to retrieve it, hoping against hope it was Kurt.
It was Gwen, wanting to know what the scoop was for tomorrow.
"Damn," Penny sighed as she flumped naked on the couch. Not that she wanted to actually talk to that cheating muscle-bound ass; she simply wanted her television.
She dialed her friend and waited.
"Hey, girlie, what's up? … You bet I'm ready. … Are you serious? … Wow…."
xTBBTx
"I'm bringing sexy back," Penny murmured as she stared at herself in the bathroom mirror. She looked over her smoky colored eye makeup and rouge-a-licious lips. "Yeah." The Nebraskan turned her body first one way and then another to make sure she fit properly into her thigh-high purple halter dress with a peek-a-boo front. "Let me make up for the things you lack." She ran her hands under the tap before streaking her fingers through her blonde locks so that they'd remain straight.
"Hurry up, Pen," Gwen called from the living room. "The booze is gone. We've gotta fly-y-y-y."
Penny exited the washroom, grabbing her purse off the bed as she passed.
"I is here, bozz," the Nebraskan teased. She took the glass offered by her friend and they toasted. "To hot guys and hotter cars."
"Don't forget hottest nights," chortled the pixie cut brunette with an evil grin.
In response Penny downed her wine like it was a shot.
The two women exited the apartment.
"Mmm, something smells good," Gwen purred as Penny locked the door. "Is that banana bread?" Her friend sniffed the air.
"Think so." They waited for the elevator. "Guess Dr. C's a baker."
"Dr. C?"
"My neighbor. He's a doctor."
"Oh wow."
"Not that kinda doctor. He's just a math guy."
"Ah."
The doors opened and the ladies entered.
"Is he cute?" asked Gwen.
Penny recalled his blue eyes, broad forehead and pasty skin.
"He's not bad. But then he opens his mouth and it's game over." Gwen wove their arms together.
"Well for us ladies it's game on," she laughed.
They got into the waiting cab and as she settled herself in the back Penny caught the eyes of the cabby in the mirror and how they took in every ounce of her and then some. She smiled wickedly at him as Gwen gave him the address for the club.
The cabby had to ask her to repeat the address.
Penny chuckled to herself. Oh, it's game on alright.
XxX
The music pumped through her body as the Nebraskan twisted and turned on the dance floor. This is what she needed. After all these weeks of drama with Kurt and no time off at work Penny was about ready to pull her hair out. I'm just a simple girl who likes her beer and cornhuskers and that yummy guy in the Hilfiger shirt making his way to me.
"Hey!" he called with a friendly smile.
"Hey yourself!" she replied.
"Having a good time?"
"The best."
"Bet I could make it better."
"Oh really?" It'd been four years since Penny had flirted with a stranger. She'd forgotten the thrill.
"Let's start with a drink."
Penny laughed. "A lot of things start with a drink." She leaned forward. "I have to warn you I just broke up with my boyfriend."
The guy gave a crooked smile. "If angry sex is what it takes to get you over him I'm willing to sacrifice myself."
"Brave man," Penny purred as she slipped her hand in his.
xTBBTx
Next time remember sunglasses. Penny was all squints as she stepped into the elevator. She so totally didn't mean to go home with Gary? Cary? but he was so funny and uber hot that one thing led to another and—
"Walk. Of. Shame," she said mockingly.
All was quiet in the hall as she entered her apartment. Usually at this time of the morning she was out for her Sunday jog before doing the lunch rush at the restaurant. Granted, her normal rule was 'nothing before eleven am' but she found her Sunday jog really put a spring into her step at work. Plus it helped keep the Rocky Road off her hips.
She stripped out of her clothes and went straight into the shower. It was so different washing the scent of a man off of her that wasn't Kurt. Not that Cary? was a bad lay; in fact he went beyond the call of duty several times as if trying to make up for the mistakes made by every man she'd ever met. He gets points for enthusiasm. Too bad he had to work this morning.
Penny turned off the tap and dried herself off before venturing into her bedroom and flopping onto her bed. She felt like she could sleep the day away….
TOOT! TOOT!
"What the frak?" she blurted as she looked around her room. Silence. Must be something outside. The Nebraskan rolled onto her side and—
TOOT! TOOT!
That is a damn train! She made to put her pillow on top of her head when it dawned on her that the apartment building was nowhere near a train track, so….
TOOT! TOOT!
She got out of bed, tossed on her pink bathrobe and went into the living room. It had to be coming from the hall. Her feet found the flip-flops.
TOOT! TOOT!
When she opened the apartment door there was the sound of a train clacking its way along a track coming from across the hall.
"Un-boleevable."
She knocked at 4A and waited. No response.
"Dr. C? Could you turn—"
TOOT! TOOT!
"Hey!" Penny pounded on the door. Suddenly the lock turned and she was face to face with a train engineer complete with hat, overalls, red bandana around the neck and scowl on his face.
"Yes?" Sheldon said gruffly.
She took a moment to let everything sink in.
"What the hell are you doing?" she sputtered.
"It's Sunday morning," he said as if it was an explanation.
"And?"
"I test run my train on Sunday mornings."
"Well, the whistles are kinda loud."
"They have to be, they're employed for safety," Sheldon tsked. Penny rolled her eyes.
"Look, can you just keep it down a little? I had a late night and—"
"I have been here four years, two months and nine days. Every Sunday morning, aside from my trip home in oh three and last year's run in with a rather nasty influenza on May seventeenth, has been designated train time. Moreover, you've already been here for two Sundays so you should know the drill."
"I was out both weeks," Penny snapped. "I'm here now."
"Ah. Sounds like a scheduling issue," nodded Sheldon. "Now that you know the routine you can make sure you're away on Sunday mornings."
"What?'
The physicist consulted his watch. "The nine fourteen is going to be behind schedule. Goodbye."
"But—" The door closed. Penny blinked several times to make sure she got what had just happened. Train whistles. Engineer's cap. Sunday mornings.
TOOT! TOOT!
"Wow," spat the waitress before returning to her apartment.
xTBBTx
Star Trek facts: The Nitpicker's Guide For Classic Trekkers