Reference to: 'Pilot'; 'The Big Bran Hypothesis'; 'The Cooper-Hofstadter Polarization'; 'The Financial Permeability'
xTBBTx
Penny leaned the bag of groceries against the wall so she could get out her apartment key; at the same time a text message came to her phone.
"Terrific," she hissed as she turned the lock and entered. After placing the groceries on the counter she pulled out her phone.
The message was from her agent!
She had another audition for Penny!
"Yes!" said Penny with a fist pump.
Things were going exactly like how her psychic said it would after the Nebraskan's stretch of bad luck with Kurt. Penny flipped to her contact screen and called home.
"Hey Mama bird!"
"Hello ma belle. How are you? Did you get the cheque we sent?"
"Yeah. Just been too busy to cash it. I'll do it tomorrow."
"Okay. So. Another audition, huh?"
"How'd ya know?"
"You always have an audition lined up when you call."
"Huh. Never knew that."
"Too bad we never get a follow-up saying you got the job."
"Thanks a lot."
"Just sayin'. … Penny, come home."
"I don't want to. Things are finally looking up."
"Yeah but you're all by yourself out there."
"Just because I'm not with Kurt doesn't mean I'm alone, Mom. I've got friends, y'know."
"Part of the reason why we let you go was because of Kurt. Los Angeles is a dangerous place. Sometimes it's good to have a man at home to protect you."
"Even if he's a cheating ass?"
"Well, no. But that's just another reason why you should come home."
"Mom, you don't have to worry about me. I'm fine. My place is nice and…I've already met my neighbor. He's a little odd but—"
"He?"
"Don't worry, he's not a creep. He's a doctor, actually."
"Oh really? Is he single?"
"He's something. Anyhoo, I've gotta go. Cross your fingers for me!"
"Fingers crossed, my honey."
Penny hummed to herself as she put her groceries away. First she'd make dinner, then it was into the tub for a soak and some lavender oil in the diffuser.
"I am going to get this gig," Penny said firmly.
She had to.
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"Oh balls," growled Penny as she checked her phone. Things were so hectic at work this morning she'd missed a call—and what a call to miss! "What the frak am I going to do?" She opened the glass door and entered the apartment lobby. Maybe he'd…? Penny snorted. "Yeah as if." She checked the time on her phone and bit her lip as she ran through her extremely limited options. Her eyes spotted the parcel at the mail box and with a hopeful heart she picked it up. Yes! It's for him! Maybe this wouldn't seal the deal but it should at least get her foot in the door.
She entered the elevator and proceeded to her floor.
Penny took a breath before stepping over to 4A. He really was her only hope. She knocked and waited.
"Yes?" came a voice from behind the door.
Penny held up the parcel. "Got a package for ya. I—"
The door swung open.
"That's my mail," Sheldon hissed.
"I know. I saw it and—"
"You didn't have permission to take it. You've interfered in the delivery of mail which is a federal offense and—"
"Whoa, whoa, easy there," Penny soothed as she handed over the package. "It's okay. Picking up parcels are just things neighbors do for each other. Nothing illegal."
"So you claim," the physicist mumbled as he checked the package for signs of tampering. "And FYI none of my other neighbors picked up my parcels."
"Well that was rather unneighborly of them."
"Actually it was more than acceptable. Hand delivering my mail sets up a dangerous situation whereby reciprocity and further communication is expected."
Penny blinked. "Anyhoo—"
"How."
"Huh?"
"You said 'anyhoo'. It's anyhow."
"Ah." Here she chuckled. "I know that. Anyhoo's kinda my thing."
"I see. Good evening."
"Wait!" cried Penny even as she put her palm on the door. "I was kinda hoping you could do me a tiny favor." Sheldon rolled his eyes.
"And so it begins. What is it you require?"
"I've got an audition this afternoon and the furniture company said they're delivering my entertainment unit today at five thirty so I won't be home," she said a tad distractedly as she tried to catch Sheldon's eyes. The physicist was having none of that, however.
"When and where is your audition?"
"Five o'clock in Irvine."
Sheldon nodded. "You're right. You won't make it."
Here we go! "That's why I was hoping you could sign for it and—"
The lanky man shook his head. "Oh, I couldn't do that."
"Please Sheldon."
"Dr. Cooper."
Penny adjusted the straps of her purse on her shoulder.
"You'll be home and I can't get anyone else to do it," she pleaded.
"Penny," the physicist said in a tone that made her think she was getting lectured by her high school history teacher. "By signing the document I make myself legally responsible for your item until you return." Now it was her turn to roll her eyes.
"It's no big deal," she sighed.
"'No big deal'?" squawked Sheldon. "Written contracts endorsed by a signature ensures a—"
"Look Dr. C."
"Dr. Cooper," he said tersely. "Is there something wrong with your aural or comprehension skills?"
"It's not that. I—Look I don't have time. I swear I won't sue you if something happens to it."
Sheldon slowly shook his head. "Oh if only it was that simple."
"Please?" Green eyes met blue.
The physicist let out a big sigh.
"You'll need to sign a contract. One moment."
He closed the door, leaving Penny alone in the hall. She again checked her phone. Okay if I leave now that means I take the I-5 S. That should give me plenty of time to find where I'm supposed to go.
Time went by.
"Come on," she murmured under her breath.
As if on cue the door opened and her weird neighbor stood before her in his black Superman logo t-shirt and red thermal holding out a clip board and pen.
"What's this?" Penny asked as she took the proffered items.
"A waiver resolving me of all responsibility for your package in the event of loss, theft or damage," Sheldon explained as she glanced over the document.
"Great," she said as she signed it. "Here's my keys. Leave it—"
Sheldon took a step back. "Your keys?"
"Well yeah, I can't have them leave my stuff in the lobby. I'll tell them to ring you and you can let them in and—"
"Oh, this is quite unacceptable," Sheldon said excitedly as he took back the clipboard and pen.
"What now?" Penny sighed.
"You're allowing access to your apartment. Suppose the delivery men incapacitate me and steal your valuables? Or you accuse me of theft?"
"I wouldn't do that." Sheldon raised an eyebrow even as his blue eyes flickered over her face. "Hurry up," growled Penny.
Again the door closed and she waited.
Five minutes later Sheldon opened the door and before he could get out more than "Here's the—" Penny grabbed the pen and signed the paper without reading it and put the keys on clip board and handed the kit and caboodle back to the lanky man.
"Thanks Dr. C!" she grinned before racing down the stairs.
"Dr. Cooper!" he called after her before firmly closing his door.
XxX
The elevator door opened and Sheldon stepped out into the lobby to find two hulking men standing next to a large cardboard package he took to be Penny's unassembled shelving unit. The lead man with a scruffy blonde beard handed Sheldon a clipboard.
"Sign here," he said gruffly.
Sheldon glanced at the page and in that instant had thoroughly read the document.
"But you haven't delivered the item," he replied evenly.
"It's here, isn't it?" growled the delivery guy.
"That's exactly my point," Sheldon replied. "It's here as opposed to upstairs in apartment 4B which is the address of the purchaser as indicated on your receipt. Until the item is there I can't sign the form as the delivery's incomplete." The two delivery men stared incredulously as the physicist stepped over to the elevator and pressed the button. "Chop, chop, I have to order dinner."
The two men grabbed a corner of the unit and made to follow.
"You'll have to take the stairs," Sheldon said as the elevator doors opened. "Your parcel's too big to fit into the elevator."
"Let us decide that," the bald-headed mover snapped.
"Alright," Sheldon said with an amused look and a Texas twang. "Let me just get out of your way." He stepped into the elevator. "Fourth floor, gentlemen."
The doors closed and he could hear the bald headed mover call him an asshole.
"'Professional' movers, indeed," tutted Sheldon.
XxX
The director's assistant came through the doors, taped a call-back sheet to the wall and retreated before a small horde of blonde-haired aspiring actresses pressed in to see if they were on the list.
"Twenty-two. Come on twenty-two," mumbled Penny as her eyes scanned the list.
There was a twenty and twenty-seven.
No twenty two.
XxX
Sheldon turned on the light in Penny's apartment and recoiled in horror at the sight of clothes and papers and ramen noodle cups and dirty dishes strewn about the place.
The two movers set the unit on the floor.
"Good enough?" asked the bald-headed man.
"Based on the conditions 'good enough' seems to be the apartment's motto," shuddered the physicist. He took a breath and stepped into the room so as to better inspect the package.
"Can we go now?" growled grizzly beard.
"It all seems to be intact, although I am putting in a note as to the tardiness of the delivery," said Sheldon as he signed the form. Grizzly beard tore him a receipt and stormed off with his companion.
Sheldon stood there in silence in the midst of all this—chaos.
"Good Lord it's like a mature throat culture in a life-size Petrie dish."
Quickly he turned off the light and stepped into the hall. He held the keys between his thumb and pointer finger at arm's length as he crossed over to his apartment. After a thorough decontamination of himself he deposited her keys in a zip lock bag and set it by the door.
"'Need a waiver' to enter," he chuckled to himself as Sheldon sat at the computer to order his pizza. "Given the conditions of her abode how would she even know if she was robbed?" He selected his standard order. "Why would a person have a tray of eating utensils on her couch? And why does her couch face the door?"
Sheldon sat in his lawn chair and fitfully watched television.
"If anything she should insist on a waiver before anyone stepped into her apartment and twisted an ankle."
He checked his watch before returning his gaze to the tv.
His mouth twitched and he gripped the arms of his chair to better control himself.
"Does she not own any hangers or a laundry hamper or a sack or a garbage bag or—" Sheldon stopped short and mentally counted to ten before turning to glare at his apartment door.
XxX
Penny dragged her feet out of the elevator. She had no idea how this day could be any worse. Not only did she not get the job, she was stuck in rush hour traffic, Kurt called to cancel on her again for getting the tv and the grocery store was out of her favorite cookies.
Her eyes flickered to her neighbor's door. She'd get her keys later. Right now all she wanted was a glass—okay a bottle—of wine and her fleecy pants and—
The thought stopped where it was as she opened her apartment door, turned on the light and nearly dropped her purse. After a moment she rushed over to Sheldon's door and loudly knocked.
"Sheldon!" He opened the door. "What the hell did you do?"
"I went to work. I came home. I ordered pizza with mushrooms, light oliv—"
"I mean my apartment!" the waitress gasped.
"Ah. Your entertainment unit arrived at five twenty three but wasn't officially delivered until—"
"Sheldon, you cleaned my apartment!"
"Dr. Cooper and no, I didn't 'clean' your apartment. That would require several antibacterial products. I merely organized."
"You touched my stuff and"—here Penny blanched at the thought of her underwear strewn about the room—"oh my God, you didn't go into my bedroom did you?"
"Certainly not," said Sheldon with a look of distaste. "That requires a fortitude I don't possess."
"I didn't want you to do this," Penny hissed.
"I don't want to live across the hall from a festering pool of entropic chaos," the physicist sniffed in response.
"And you moved my furniture!"
"I optimized your living space."
Penny stuck out her hand. "My keys." Sheldon handed them to her—in a baggy. "Thanks for being the perfect ending to a perfect day," she spat.
"You're welcome," he said and closed the door.
Eyes rolling, Penny returned to her apartment and flumped down on her newly repositioned couch. She took in her clean floor, stacked magazines on the coffee table and the assembled entertainment unit to her left.
"It does look better," she conceded. A little laugh escaped from her lips.
"I wonder if he does windows?"
xTBBTx
Frowning, Sheldon placed his presoaked laundry in the laundry basket. This was hardly a time to have an epiphany. He gathered the rest of his laundry and ventured into the living room.
The whiteboard taunted him.
His eye twitched even as his lips pursed. He looked at his watch: eight fourteen. Sheldon proceeded out the door just as his neighbor was locking up her apartment.
"Hi," Penny said amiably as she sasheyed over in her platform heels to the elevator.
"Hello." Sheldon did his best to will the elevator to the floor.
"Guess someone else has something on the go," smiled Penny as she took in his anxious state. "I'm sure the laundry machines are empty."
The physicist glanced in her direction. "Of course they are. I use them every Saturday at eight fifteen."
"Ah." Penny pulled at the cuff of her long-sleeved purple dress. "I'm going dancing. Y'know, not much to do tonight. You?"
"I don't dance."
The waitress giggled. "No, I mean what are you doing tonight?"
"I already told you, it's laundry night," replied Sheldon. "Although you should have been able to surmise that by the basket of dirty laundry and detergent I'm carrying."
The elevator arrived and they both entered.
"I mean besides that."
Sheldon cocked his head, noting the scent of green apple. "Is this banal chatter or are you genuinely interested?"
"Uh, interested."
"Well, once my laundry's under way I plan to mull further about the moment of inertia in gasses like helium at temperatures approaching absolute zero. Then when my laundry's finished I'll spend the rest of my evening on the DC comics message board."
"Sounds like fun," Penny said diplomatically.
"Indeed," he replied evenly.
The doors opened and the waitress got out at the lobby.
XxX
Sheldon tsked as he took a sip of his warm milk.
"'John Byrne's run on Action Comics was epic'. More like an epic disaster."
Laughter came from the hall. Loud. A woman, Penny, and a man, unfamiliar. Sheldon checked the clock on the computer and pursed his lips. Now was not the time to be making a ruckus.
"That's a strike," he muttered before he resumed typing.
Cooperphd: Need I remind you of Byrne's dismal attempt at casting Superman in a pornographic movie with Big Barda in AC 592-93? Complete and utter poppycock. How this man was ever given the reigns to….
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What the hell was I thinking?
Penny's feet pounded the interlocked path as she jogged her way through the park. The morning had been another disaster as she made her way home in last night's clothing. She ran into Mrs. Vartebedian, who seemed bemused by the whole affair. Obviously the woman could read 'wrinkled sexy clothes' and surmise from there.
Zack was cute, sure, but that still didn't mean she should have slept with him. The sex god must have agreed with that since the sex was okay but nothing spectacular. The only thing was, for that split moment it was wonderful waking up next to someone. Then reality set in—it wasn't Kurt—and then she felt like shit. Not that she wanted the dirt bag back, it was what he represented: four years of comfort and protection.
She loved that asshole.
Now she was spending her free nights at dance clubs picking up anyone who tickled her fancy. The only thing was she felt so damn empty by morning.
As she glanced around the park she noted a tall man wearing a bright yellow shirt standing in the central part of the park. That's Dr. C. He was looking up so Penny did as well and spotted a red kite. At least he gets out for fresh air. Given his pasty complexion the Nebraskan thought he was one of those guys who only went outside for necessities like work or groceries. No, check that. She'd arrived home from work one Friday evening just as Grocery Gateway was delivering an order to 4A. Then there were all those packages he kept getting. I wonder what he does in his apartment? Visions of her neighbor sitting at a computer discovering absolute zero or whatever it was he said he was doing came to mind. Don't forget the trains.
Penny snorted and checked her watch before picking up her pace.
XxX
Asshole, Penny thought for the third time in the past half hour. She entered the lobby carrying her purse and two bottles of red wine.
"No, check that. Stupid asshole," she mumbled. She glanced at the mailbox but decided to get the bills—because that's all that seemed to come nowadays—later. She stepped into the elevator and let out a growl.
Kurt had come to the Cheesecake Factory. At the sight of him Penny could have kicked herself for thinking maybe he was there to apologize. God, why do I give these sleazebags second chances? Then she got a hold of herself and remembered all the texts she sent him about the television. Then there was the fourteen hundred bucks he owed her for the traffic tickets but like she'd ever see that again.
All Kurt wanted was the blender. The stupid blender they spent four hundred bucks on so he could make his protein shakes. Penny had taken it when she moved, partially out of spite, and he wanted it. When she freaked on him about the television he said they could trade. Finally! Just then Brad the busboy came by and she asked him if he could help her move the television. That's when Kurt said he couldn't do it tonight and in that instant Penny knew, she knew, he was going to fuck someone because he used the line he used to use with her when someone asked if he was available to do something:
'Sorry, got things rolling tonight.'
"Sonofabitch," she mumbled as the doors opened and she stepped into the hall to find her neighbor spraying his door with what smelled like javex.
"Spill something?" she asked as she took out her keys.
"Removing the accumulation of germs," Sheldon said as he wiped down the door.
She stared at her own door. "What germs?"
"People brush their dirty hands against it or knock," the physicist explained as he cleaned. "Even I'm to blame as I touch the door knob after being outside. It's just asking for a contagion to compromise my immune system."
"I don't see the problem. I mean I'm out everyday and I don't get sick that often."
"More likely than not your waitressing exposes you to a plethora of foreign microbes thus increasing your antibodies."
Penny turned to her neighbor. "How did you know I was a waitress?"
"I've seen you wearing the same apparel you are wearing now at specific times and days. Moreover, in the evenings when I've encountered you in the elevator you've been physically exhausted, often coated in different food stains and smell like cheesecake."
"Ah," Penny said a tad self-consciously. "Never knew you paid that much attention."
"I'm a physicist. I pay attention to everything." Sheldon turned the knob with the cloth and entered his apartment.
Penny turned on the light in the living room and closed the door. She still smelled the javex and so after depositing her stuff on the counter she lit a vanilla-scented candle. Next she ditched her uniform, giving it a sniff before sticking it in the wash. Where the heck does he get the cheesecake smell from?
Now in her comfy clothes she returned to the living room, got a mug and bottle opener and moved to the couch with her wine. She stared ahead at the empty tv stand.
"Shit," she growled.
xTBBTx
Sheldon sat in his lawn chair, a small smile on his face, as he watched Star Trek on the SyFy channel. Granted he owned all of the episodes on Blue-ray but there was something titillating about catching an episode on television.
There was a knock at the door. Much as he'd like to ignore it his mother didn't raise an ignoramus and so he ventured over to take a peek through the peephole. On the other side was his neighbor with a blender in hand.
"What do you want?" he said brusquely.
"I hate to bother you but I really need your help."
Shelly, mind your manners. There's a lady in distress. He sighed at the memory of his mother and opened the door.
Penny smiled hopefully. "Hey. Um, my friend fell through so I really need someone to help me with my tv."
"What's wrong with it?"
"It's at my ex-boyfriend's place. He wants to trade for the blender. Like now."
"I'm not a suitable candidate for physical labor," Sheldon said.
"It doesn't take Hulk Hogan. It's more awkward than anything else."
"I don't think so."
"I'll give you twenty bucks."
"No."
Penny sighed. "Please, it's been weeks since I've watched tv and I can't afford another television set."
"I'm sorry but this doesn't involve me." Sheldon closed the door.
"Dr. Cooper, I swear I won't bother you again." Penny held her breath and waited.
Nothing.
She pulled out her phone. Maybe she could get Kurt to—
The door opened.
"No more chit-chat or social nicities," the lanky man said seriously.
"Zippo," Penny said earnestly.
"Give me a moment." The door closed.
Two minutes later he returned wearing a tan windbreaker and locked his door.
"Thanks so much. I really"—she caught his frown. "Right. Zip it."
They went down the elevator and to her car in silence. Sheldon opened the door and pursed his lips at the sandwich wrapper on the passenger seat. The waitress grabbed it and tossed it into the back seat. She caught his look of disgust and proceeded to sweep the front seat a couple of times with her hand and smiled. Eyes rolling, Sheldon got in and closed the door. He clicked into his seatbelt before bathing his hands in sanitizer.
Penny signaled and pulled into traffic. Sheldon took a quick inhalation of breath as she darted down the street and pulled to a rolling stop before turning right. This is a mistake, he thought as he reached for the dash to brace himself from the impending accident.
In her peripheral vision Penny caught the movement and so glanced at her companion. His eyes were wide and staring straight ahead and his mouth was partially open as if he were trying to maintain a steady breath. For a moment her eyes focused on his bow lips. Too bad he's whacked 'cause he's kinda cute.
Sheldon closed his eyes in relief as they didn't rear-end the vehicle ahead when it suddenly stopped nor did they die in a head-on collision as Penny honked the horn and swerved into the opposing lane of traffic to get around it. As he glanced at the speedometer he noted a red light on the dash.
"Your 'check engine' light is on," he said worriedly. He eyed his neighbor, who hadn't responded. "I said, your 'check engine' light is on."
"I thought you didn't want to talk?" Penny said innocently.
"This isn't idle banter; it's about safety," scowled Sheldon.
"It's been on for a while so don't worry about it."
"'Don't worry about it'?" He stared fearfully at the little red light. "How long is 'a while'?"
"I dunno. Three weeks maybe?"
"You realize that the longer you procrastinate the probability that your engine problem will worsen increases exponentially."
"Eh, so far so good," shrugged the Nebraskan, causing Sheldon to again roll his eyes. "Look, now that we're talking there's a few things you should know about Kurt."
"I doubt it but go on."
"He's a bouncer and can be a real bully. Right now he's being an ass so I don't know how he'll be." Sheldon turned to eye her. "Not that he's violent. Well not unless he's annoyed or drunk and some guy pisses him off." A twitchy smile crossed her lips. "Anyhoo, just let me do the talking, okay?"
"As you seem unable to stop talking I'll defer to your expertise," shrugged Sheldon as he looked out the passenger window.
"Yeah, yeah."
They drove the rest of the way in silence. It killed Penny not to have the radio on but somehow she sensed that whatever Dr. Sheldon Cooper listened to it wasn't Energy 103.9.
"You can't park here," said the physicist as the waitress pulled directly in front of the building's entrance.
"Man, you're just a fountain of gibber-jabber, aren't you?"
As she exited the car she smiled as Sheldon squawked a "Me?!" After grabbing the blender out of the trunk they proceeded to the building.
"You're between the 'no parking' signs," he warned.
"I've got my hazards on so it's okay," she said dismissively.
"This whole enterprise is a hazard and far from okay," mumbled the physicist as Penny got them buzzed in by her ex-boyfriend.
All the way up the elevator Penny felt a gnawing in her stomach. This had been her home for two years. She remembered how excited she was to finally be in L.A.; she was on the verge of achieving her dream of being a movie star.
Two years later and she was at her ex-boyfriend's door with the weirdest guy she'd ever met.
Kurt took his sweet time answering and once he gave Penny the once-over for old time's sake—that woman sure has a body—he took in the gangly man behind her.
"New guy?" snorted the bouncer with a smarmy smirk.
"My neighbor," snapped Penny, pissed at his tone. How could I forget what an ass he is? "Look, can we just get this over with?"
"Sure." Kurt held out his hands and the Nebraskan gave him the blender. Penny made to enter the apartment but he blocked her way. "I've been doing some thinking. I really spent a lot on you while we were dating."
"You?!" she squawked. "Who'd eat two racks of ribs to my salad when we ate out?"
"Who skimped on the rent for acting lessons?"
"And who was short on hydro for the gym membership?"
"Stop it!" Sheldon said a tad hysterically. The ex-couple turned to see the physicist with his hands over his ears. "Disagree if you must but don't argue."
Kurt chuckled. "You better get Braveheart out of here before he wets himself."
"Shut up, Kurt," growled Penny. "Just give me my tv and we're out of here."
"You said you wanted a new start," sniffed the bouncer. "Well start with a new tv." He closed the door.
"Kurt!" Penny pounded on the door and jiggled the door handle to no avail. "Sonofabitch!"
Sheldon removed his hands from his ears.
"Looks like this trip's for naught," he said.
"Oh, it's not alright. We're not going anywhere," seethed the Nebraskan.
"I have to work tomorrow," countered Sheldon. "I need to be in bed by ten if my circadian rhythm is to be maintained."
"Sorry. Didn't know you had a heart thing." The physicist looked at her incredulously as she turned to the door. "Look Kurt, I don't care if I have to stand here all night—"
"I do," said her companion.
Penny pursed her lips. "Look, just work with me, okay?" she mumbled to Sheldon.
"Take me home," he glared back.
Penny closed her eyes and took a big breath.
"You're right. I'm sorry, Dr. C."
"Dr. Cooper."
"Yeah." She scowled at the door. "It's just that that idiot took everything when he cheated on me. I left it all behind in this stupid apartment and all I wanted, the only thing I wanted was my stupid tv." Sheldon heard a slight hitch to her voice. "I mean it's two years old and the first thing I bought so I mean it's not like it's worth a lot but I just wanted—"
Sheldon stepped by her to the door.
Knock Knock Knock "Kurt."
"What are you doing?" gasped Penny.
Knock Knock Knock "Kurt."
"Dr. Cooper, you don't have to do this."
Knock Knock Knock "Kurt."
The door opened and the muscular man folded his arms across his chest and glared.
"What do you want?" he snarled.
"I just thought you should know that while I was cleaning Penny's apartment I came across a pile of receipts, one of which was for a television," Sheldon said evenly. "It's only a matter of calling the police to report a theft. I imagine a criminal record would be detrimental to your bouncing 'career'."
Kurt turned an unhealthy shade of red before storming off down the hall to his living room. Sheldon took a step into the apartment before turning to Penny.
"Coming?" he asked.
Too stunned to talk, Penny nodded and followed.
XxX
"That was amazing," Penny cooed as she watched Sheldon attach the cable to her television.
"I have a working knowledge of the universe. Hooking up a flat screen television is hardly worth my efforts," Sheldon sniffed. "And you might want to run a vacuum hose behind here."
"Yes boss. And no, it's not this that's amazing I mean getting the tv in the first place." Here she grinned. "I thought Kurt was going to have a stroke when you whupped his ass—"
"Language, Penny."
"Sorry. It's true, though."
Sheldon stood and cleaned his hands with sanitizer.
"It was logical. Intellect always trumps physicality," he said casually.
"Oh really?" smirked the Nebraskan. "So you're telling me you could take Kurt in a fight?"
"I just did; it was a battle of intellects."
"And if it became physical?"
"I have longer legs. I'd be at the stairwell long before he could catch up." He made for the door.
"So I guess that's that," Penny said slowly.
"What's what?"
"I mean us. You know, talking and whatnot."
"One can only hope. Goodnight stranger across the hall," said Sheldon as he exited the apartment.
Penny picked up the remote.
"Goodnight my hero in plaid pants," she grinned as she turned on the television.