Reference to and dialogue from: 'The Pancake Batter Anomaly'
Reference to: 'The Middle Earth Paradigm'; 'The Dumpling Paradox'
xTBBTx
Raj sidled up beside Leonard as the latter flipped through a comic bin.
"'Penny' for your thoughts?" the astrophysicist chuckled. In return Leonard gave him a dirty look. "Come on dude lighten up."
Leonard sighed. "I can't believe I missed her last week. I mean suppose she met someone here?"
Raj glanced around the store, spotting Lonely Larry and Captain Sweatpants reading at the new comics wall, Stuart at the cash flipping through the Previews magazine and several other socially awkward men.
"I don't think that's a problem. Besides, Howard had her all to himself." Leonard stopped flipping comics and closed his eyes.
"Aw, don't say that," he groaned. "I'll be lucky if she wants to talk to any of us again."
"Well it's no big loss since she comes with a giant praying mantis," Raj said crisply.
"What did Cooper do now?"
"Stole my date at the restaurant."
Immediately Leonard brought to mind all the awkward interactions he'd had with the East Texan.
"Get out of here," he chuckled and continued to flip through the bin.
"I'm not kidding," growled Raj. "Everything was going well and then Lalita decided to"—here he paused—"take things elsewhere and we ran into Cooper at the bar. He totally hit on my girl and she left." He sighed. "I still haven't returned my parents' Skype call."
"Huh. Never would have pegged him to be a ladies man."
The door opened and everyone in the shop turned with baited breath.
In came Howard and with that the anticipation popped like a balloon.
"Gentlemen," the engineer said in passing as he went to the new comics wall to collect his books. In a flash Leonard was at his side.
"Okay Howard, what did you say to Penny?"
"Say?" Howard replied teasingly. "Only what was in my heart. And loins."
"I called dibs," snapped Leonard. "You can't break the code or else 'dibs' has no meaning."
Howard chuckled. "Don't worry about it. Just think of me as a flower's seductive scent that lures in the honey bee for some sweet nectar." Leonard looked to the ceiling and sighed.
Again the door opened and in came Sheldon wearing his tan wind breaker, JLA t-shirt and khaki pants. Immediately he stopped as he took in the stillness of the store. He noted that people were staring behind him as the door swung shut. With a shrug he continued to the new comics wall.
"Watch it Leonard," whispered Howard. "Here comes the lady killer." His voice lowered. "Better hope he doesn't have Penny in his sights."
Leonard's jaw tightened as both Sheldon and he looked at each other. The bespectacled man turned his head and went back to the comic bins followed by Howard.
Sheldon cocked his head in thought. Perhaps Leonard was of similar mind that not every meeting required a formalized greeting. He shrugged his shoulders and scoured the walls for the issues he wanted. As he selected, checked for flaws and picked another he could hear Leonard and his friends talking about playing Halo. Apparently they were involved in multiplayer games with their own rules and customized maps. Sheldon continued his task but felt a slight discomfort in his stomach.
"Off to do battle?" said Stuart as Leonard, Howard and Raj paid for their items.
"The campaign continues," agreed Leonard.
"Yup. We continue to bring it to the Covenant until such a time as I can give it to Cortana," grinned Howard.
"That's rude," Raj said with a sour look. "Cortana's a lady and deserves to be talked to as such."
"Cortana is an artificial intelligence," countered the engineer.
"That doesn't mean she has no feelings."
The three men stared at the astrophysicist.
"God help you if your phone ever develops an AI," muttered Howard.
"Well anyways we're off," said Leonard. "Same Bat-time. Same Bat-channel." Stuart gave a slight smile.
"You'll know where I'll be since I have no life outside of the store," he replied. "Or life at all."
As he made to go Leonard noticed Sheldon looking at the group. Caught, the lanky man quickly turned away. The experimental physicist took in the lone figure.
"This is stupid," he said and left Raj and Howard at the door. "Dr. Cooper?"
Sheldon turned to him. "Dr. Hofstadter."
"Leonard's fine."
"I suppose although it didn't make the top one hundred baby names of two thousand and five."
"I mean you can call me by my given name, Leonard," the shorter man clarified.
"Oh. Alright." Leonard waited but Sheldon wasn't forthcoming with his own name.
"Anyways, I've just about finished collecting the data from the experiment. If you'd like I can send it to you, you know, if you wanted to write it up. Or I can. I mean it doesn't matter who writes it up."
"I'll write it as I have the time," Sheldon replied neutrally although Leonard detected a twitch to his mouth.
"Well okay then," smiled Leonard. "I'll send it to you when I get your email and—"
"scooperphd atyahoo dotcom."
"Okay. Well I guess that's that." Sheldon nodded and went back to his comics. Leonard paused as he debated with himself.
"Dr. Cooper, I don't know if you're busy or not but Howard, Raj and I were going to play—"
His words died on his lips as the door opened and Penny entered wearing a pink mini dress with matching platform shoes. She strutted towards the physicists, Howard and Raj in tow.
"Ready to go?" she asked Sheldon.
"I believe so," he replied.
"Hi Penny," gushed Leonard.
"Hey Leonard," she smiled.
"'She walks in beauty like the night'," came a voice from behind her.
"No she doesn't, Howard," Penny smirked. "And quit staring at my butt."
"I hear and obey, mi'lady."
Penny turned to Raj with a frown on her face. "You apologize to Dr. C yet?"
Raj dropped his jaw in shock and quickly whispered in Howard's ear.
"But Cooper hit on his woman," the engineer interpreted.
"Whatever," the waitress said with a roll of the eyes. "They'd just met that night."
"Love only needs but a moment," countered Howard seductively. Penny put her hands on her hips.
"He kept bringing up how fat she used to be." Now it was Howard's turn to be shocked as both Leonard and he turned to Raj.
"You spoke to her?" the engineer gasped.
"Yeah, apparently lushiface here can't keep a cork in it after a drink under his belt," snorted the Nebraskan.
Raj whispered furiously to Howard.
"Well you're the one who recommended he drink," interpreted Howard.
"To loosen him up not turn into a colossal douche bag."
"Well, to be fair, he is a douche most of the time," Howard chuckled, garnering an elbow from his best friend.
Penny cocked her head and glared at Raj. "Well?"
Raj looked down at his feet before glancing at Sheldon and nodding.
"So," Leonard interjected. "Are you going somewhere tonight?"
"Me and a few girls are going out for a little dancing," smiled Penny. "You know, girl stuff. You?"
"Ah, well, you know, going to hang out at Raj's," Leonard said with a touch of false bravado. "You know, doin' guy things."
"Pizza and video games," grinned Howard. "Oh yeah."
Penny grinned. "Sounds like you, Dr. C."
"Speaking of which, we're nearing eight o'clock," sniffed Sheldon and went to pay for his comics.
"And?" prompted Leonard.
"Wednesday at eight is Halo time," the waitress replied. "Hey, it'd be cool if you were roomies with him. Then he'd have a gaming bud."
"I haven't heard back from him, regarding the apartment I mean. I don't think he's interested."
Penny leaned in to the short physicist. "Let me work on him," she stage whispered.
"Penny, end the prattle and let's roll," insisted Sheldon.
"'Night fellas." She flashed a devastating smile and moved towards Sheldon and the exit.
"I'd like to inform you that we're five minutes ahead of schedule so you don't have to speed home," the theoretical physicist said as he held the door open for his ride.
"Yeah, but the sooner I get ya home the sooner I can put on my dancing shoes."
Sheldon paused. "But you're already wearing your dancing shoes," he said before joining her outside.
"I'd let her work on me," oozed Howard. "All night."
"That's rude, Howard," growled Leonard through pursed lips.
"So you're saying you weren't thinking the same thing?"
Silence.
"So who's up for a little Halo?" asked Leonard as he quickly exited the store.
xTBBTx
Sheldon frowned as he did his best to tune out the music, laughing and loud conversations coming from across the hall. No, check that, from in the hall as well and that was quite unacceptable. Not that the apartment doors were the best for repressing sound but they were at least better than nothing.
He got up from his computer where he'd been on his comic book message board for the past two hours and went to the refrigerator to grab an orange soda. Granted sugar after nine pm wasn't a good idea but the physicist needed something carbonated to take the edge off.
There was a thump at the door as if a body had hit it and some giggling. Sheldon rolled his eyes. He'd definitely have to javex down his door tomorrow before he ran his train.
The door shook back and forth with a simultaneous intrusion of carnal sounds.
"Oh, I don't think so," growled Sheldon as he put down his drink and marched to his door. He hesitated as he realized he couldn't just open it willy-nilly since the lovebirds seemed to be pressed against it.
Knock Knock Knock "People in the hall."
Knock Knock Knock "People in the hall."
Knock Knock Knock "People in the hall."
Sheldon waited a moment before opening the door to see a dark haired guy wearing a Neo jacket holding a blushing high school cheerleader in his arms.
"Sorry about that bro," the guy grinned. The girl laughed.
"Somehow I highly doubt that," Sheldon replied crisply. "So which Neo are you?"
"You know, the one from The Matrix."
"Yes, I'm familiar with The Matrix but there's been two other films: Matrix Reloaded and Matrix Revolutions. So I'm asking again, which Neo are you?"
"Uh, all of them," the guy said, although a tad unsure.
"So by that answer I'll surmise you mean Neo from Matrix Revolutions." The physicist turned to the girl. "In that case you shouldn't expect much from your evening as your beau represents one of the most original concepts in recent science fiction who ultimately devolved into a colossal disappointment."
"Hey bro—"
"I'm not your 'bro'. I have two siblings in Texas and—"
A giggly shriek came from apartment 4B, cutting off the reply. Sheldon closed his door and marched across to see a crowd of costumed people gabbing and laughing while a girl in a sexy devil outfit continued to screech as she was over the shoulder of a race car driver.
"Hey Superman," grinned a curly haired woman wearing a magician's assistant costume complete with sequins and cape.
"I'm not Superman," countered Sheldon as he scanned the room for a certain blonde. "I'm merely wearing his logo on my t-shirt."
"Too bad. We could have peeked under each other's capes," she winked.
"I'm not wearing a cape. But I do have several in my apartment."
"Oh really? And where's that?"
"Across the hall—which is the reason why I can hear this infernal racket. Ah." He spotted a familiar black kitty come out of the washroom and ventured over.
"Penny," he began sternly.
"You came," she said happily. Sheldon could smell the alcohol on her breath.
"Yes, well, I thought I'd remind you that the noise ordinance comes into effect in"—he checked his watch—"one hour and forty seven minutes."
"Don't worry Dr. C, we'll be as quiet as mice," she said with her finger at her lips.
"Obviously you've never slept in an infested house," he replied with pursed lips.
"Just give me this night. I swear no more parties 'til next year."
"You might not be here next year, making this whole point moot."
"There you are," cooed the magician's assistant as she sashayed up to the physicist and his neighbor.
"Hey Carol," said Penny.
"You know Superman?"
"For the second time I am not Superman. I'm merely wearing a t-shirt with his logo," Sheldon said testily. "Obviously alcohol has suppressed your basic comprehension skills."
"My neighbor, Dr. Cooper," replied Penny. Immediately Carol's eyebrows raised in interest.
"Well the good doctor was about to show me his cape collection at his place," she purred as she took Sheldon's arm. Immediately the physicist yanked out of her grip.
"First of all, it's not a collection. They happen to be attached to specific costumes," he sniffed. "Secondly, I most certainly did not invite you into my abode. And thirdly, you don't have a purse or pouch so unless you happen to be carrying antibacterial cleanser in your brassiere your hands have to be positively vile from touching people willy-nilly." He glared at Penny. "Midnight and then I call the superintendant."
"What's his problem?" asked Carol as the physicist stalked off.
"He's okay. Just a little uptight," soothed Penny. "Come on, let's get a drink."
"This couldn't possibly get any worse," mumbled Sheldon as he bypassed a group of people on the verge of drunkenness in order to get into the hall. Suddenly the elevator doors opened and a familiar and rather large man came out wearing a Hollywood caveman outfit. "I stand corrected."
"Well, well, if it isn't Braveheart," Kurt growled with a smug grin. Sheldon noted the man flex his muscles.
"Actually, I've no opinion on Scottish Independence," replied the physicist even as his brain calculated the distance to his apartment.
"What are you talking about?"
"You keep referring to me as William Wallace. I'm unclear as to—"
"Listen asshole," snapped the bouncer as he stepped menacingly towards Sheldon. For his part the lanky man stepped back in order to keep the same distance. "First you took my tv—"
"It was Penny's television."
"You're not listening. You took my tv and now you think you can just show up here?"
At this moment Carol came to the door. Both men were still as they stared at her and she immediately knew that something was wrong.
Sheldon's relief quickly turned to dread as she darted away. He looked to Kurt and braced himself for the beating he knew was to come.
"Kurt!" came a familiar voice—a Godsend to the physicist if he believed in God—which sounded more than a little pissed.
"Hey babe," Kurt replied with a wide grin.
"What the hell are you doing here?" Penny snapped.
"I heard there was a party and Carol invited me."
The Nebraskan put her fists on her hips in annoyance. "Well this is my place and I sure as hell didn't invite you."
"I see you invited him," Kurt said, indicating Sheldon with his eyes. For his part the physicist carefully inched his way towards his door.
"He's my neighbor."
"Yeah, with benefits I bet," her ex-boyfriend chuckled.
"What?! That's all you ever think about isn't it?"
"Like you're any different!"
"Get lost!"
With a last growl Kurt stormed down the stairs. Penny took a moment to catch her breath and keep from going after him. They'd had spectacular blowups before but they usually ended up with make up sex.
That was not how tonight was going to end.
She looked to Sheldon's closed door as she heard what sounded like something being lodged against it.
"Crap," she hissed and stormed back to her party. She'd have it out with Carol and apologize to Dr. C. later.
Right now she needed a drink.
XxX
Sheldon emerged from the washroom freshly showered and less tense. He padded his way into the kitchen for a mug of hot milk. The party was still going strong but the music had been lowered so he figured he'd rest undisturbed with his noise-cancelling headphones which he'd purchased and used when he first moved in until he could get used to the unfamiliar nighttime sounds.
The physicist sighed as he noted his hand was still shaking as he poured the milk into his mug. Every instinct from childhood told him that Kurt was going to 'put the hurt on' as Evan Hillier the neighborhood bully would say before going to town with Sheldon.
He put the mug in the microwave and set it to heat.
Sheldon was scared as Kurt advanced on him but even more so he was angry. Here he was, a twenty five year old acclaimed physicist living fifteen hundred and ninety five miles away from the hell that was Galveston and yet he was still facing physical harm at the hands of a complete imbecile who made up for lack of brains with a plethora of muscles.
"All of this over a stupid television," Sheldon muttered. His neighbor came to mind with her green eyes and grateful smile. This is what I get for answering my do—
There was a knock at the door.
Immediately Sheldon darted to his coffee table and picked up his lightsaber.
Again the knock.
"Dr. Cooper?" Pause. "It's Penny. I just want to say that I'm so sorry for what happened." Pause. "I didn't know Kurt was going to show up and I'm sorry he bothered you." Pause. "You've been nothing but kind to me and I'm such a horrible neighbor"—Is she crying? thought Sheldon—"and now it's gonna be strange 'cause you probably hate me and—"
Sheldon set his lightsaber beside the door and removed the lawn chair that he'd wedged under the handle. He opened his door to find a teary-eyed Penny.
"Hey," she sniffled. She took in his blue plaid pajamas and matching housecoat. It looked like something her Grandpa would wear and yet it somehow suited the physicist.
With a frown at the noise of the party behind her he stepped back and gestured with his hand for her to enter.
"Stay on the mat," he warned and she did as she moved out of the way so he could close the door.
"Are you okay?" she asked as she wiped her eyes with her fingers. "Did he hurt you?"
"I'm unscathed." Sheldon pursed his lips. "Am I to expect further visits from your ex-boyfriend? Because I won't tolerate being threatened."
"No. I don't think so. Kurt's not a dummy." Here Sheldon snorted. "Okay, not a complete dummy. He just thought it'd be like old times when we fought and then made up. But he never cheated on me 'til now. Or at least as far as I know. Maybe he's been doing it all along or at least as long as we've been in L.A."
"Penny, it's late and I'm not particularly interested in your relationship epiphany," Sheldon interjected.
"Yeah, you're right." She gave him a drunken smile. "Why can't I meet someone like you?"
Sheldon was puzzled. "I don't understand. We've already met."
Penny chuckled. "Yeah, I guess we have." Here her tone dropped. "It's just that no one's ever said I had orchids in my hair and ruby lips." She looked up with glistening eyes. "Why can't I be someone's Princess Panjelly?"
"Princess Panchali."
"Whatever."
"Well, first of all you don't look anything like a princess from an Indian folktale," began Sheldon. "Your hair isn't ebony and flowing to your waist; your skin lacks the pallor of sun-ripened wheat; your frame size—"
"Yeah, I get it, I get it. I'm not princess material," Penny said testily.
"I didn't say that. Your shape and coloration are similar to many princesses such as Cinderella, Aurora and Rapunzel."
"Oh." Her smile widened. "That's okay then."
"Now that that's settled I can go to bed." Sheldon shook his head. "I really don't know what your ex-boyfriend was saying about our relationship having benefits because you really haven't given me much."
Penny's mouth dropped. "I didn't think you were into benefits."
"A relationship, even as tenuous as ours, should be of benefit to both parties. If you insist on interrupting me with your parties and incessant knocking on my door the very least you can do is bring me to the comic book store every Wednesday." He paused. "And the occasional game of putt-putt."
"Yeah, can't forget the putt-putt," giggled the Nebraskan.
Before either could say anything Penny stepped forward and gave her neighbor a hug. Immediately Sheldon froze as he felt foreign hands on his person even as he smelled the less than aromatic combination of beer and hard liquor.
"'Night, Dr. C," Penny said as she broke the one-sided hug and Sheldon opened his door.
"Good night, Penny." He watched the waitress make her way across the hall to her own apartment before closing the door.
xTBBTx
Sheldon coughed himself awake. He turned on the bedside lamp and lay back in bed as a sudden wave of lightheadedness and nausea overcame him. Immediately thoughts of last night's interactions with numerous individuals came to mind. The magician's assistant touched my arm. He rolled over to grab his thermometer and took his temperature.
One hundred and two degrees.
"Oh Lord," he whispered.
Slowly he got out of bed but before he could slip into his housecoat his stomach lurched and it was all he could do to make it to the toilet. Sheldon threw up twice and then spent several moments dry heaving before he got himself under control. He flushed the toilet and washed his hands thoroughly before gargling with mouthwash.
"Need to rehydrate," he mumbled and opened the medicine cabinet for the bottle of Tylenol and his Vaporub. The physicist made his way to the kitchen and set his medical supplies on the counter so he could get himself a glass of water. He popped two Tylenol and took a drink.
"I'm cold," he said miserably. He refilled his glass and took the medicine to his room. Once he'd rearranged his night table to accommodate the glass and bottles he took out a latex glove before settling into bed. Sheldon put on the glove and raised his pajama top before opening the bottle of Vaporub. He stuck his finger in only to groan as he realized that the jar was practically empty. Thanks to his strict adherence to hygiene it had been a long time since he was last sick. Unfortunately out of sight obviously meant out of mind as he'd forgotten that he'd used up the Vaporub.
"I take the bus all the time," he growled. "How can being in a room with a few people possibly—"
Penny hugged me.
Sheldon pursed his lips.
XxX
Knock Knock Knock "Peddy."
Knock Knock Knock "Peddy."
*cough*cough*
Knock Knock Knock "Peddy."
Inside 4B Penny rolled over in bed and groaned. She hadn't meant to get as drunk as she had but Kurt showing up really messed with her mojo. To-tally didn't see that in my horoscope.
Another three knocks with a garbled 'Penny' chaser came her way. She knew that Sheldon wouldn't stop until she answered so she got out of bed and dragged herself to the door. She took in her pale neighbor wearing a winter hat, mitts and comforter over his housecoat.
"Hallowe'en was yesterday," she yawned. "'Sup?"
"I'll tell you what's 'sup'—last night's dinner plus several ounces of gastric secretions," Sheldon sniffled. He held out his mitt holding an empty jar. "I'm out of Vaporub."
"I don't have any."
"I wasn't asking if you did. I'd never use contaminated Vaporub." Again he sniffled. "I need Vaporub."
Penny sighed. "Can't it wait 'til later? I mean I'm totally messed right now." She indicated her outfit. "I didn't even get out of my costume."
"Or washed off your makeup, yes I know." Penny's hands immediately went to her face as she turned away.
"Okay, I've got to go."
"Yes you do—to the pharmacy."
She pursed her lips. "And just what would you do without me?"
"Go on in good health." He coughed twice.
"Exa—" She glared. "It's my fault you're sick?"
"You brought a gaggle of strangers to our floor, one of whom touched me with her pestilent paw. Not to mention you fondled my person."
"I what?!" Her mouth dropped.
He sniffled. "You heard me. I was in my pajamas when you stepped into my space and put your hands—"
"Okay, okay I get the picture!" She swallowed hard as she looked at her obviously miserable neighbor. "Let me clean up and I'll get your Vaporub."
"Agreed." Sheldon turned and shuffled his way back to his apartment.
Penny closed her door and rested her forehead against it. She counted to ten before letting out a groan.
"What the frak did I do?"
She made her way into her bedroom and stripped out of her cat costume before going into the bathroom. One look in the mirror and she brought out the jar of cold cream to get the makeup off. As she rubbed and scrubbed she wracked her brain but couldn't remember anything about Sheldon after finding him in the hall with Kurt.
'You fondled my person.'
She did remember the sneer on her ex-boyfriend's face as she accused him of always thinking about sex.
'Like you're any different.'
Immediately she was inundated with memories of Sheldon at the comic book store and putt-putt course—even the Cheesecake Factory.
A windy day as she watched his beautiful kite dance in the sky.
Penny stared into the mirror with her creamy gray face from the cold cream mixing with the cat makeup.
"I'm never getting drunk again."
XxX
Penny paid for her items and exited Walgreens. She'd gotten the Vaporub and decided to toss in a roll of Halls throat lozenges and two cans of chicken noodle soup. Her guilt over last night bubbled again to the surface. She had no idea how she was to act around the physicist when all she wanted to do was crawl into a hole and die. Still, he was sick and there was no way she was going to screw this up.
Her phone rang—unknown number—and answered:
"Hello?"
"Hey Penny! It's Christie!"
"Wow. Christie. Um, how are you girl?"
"About ready to go out of my mind. You had it so right moving to L.A."
"Ya. So, what's up?"
"Well I ran into your brother last week—by the by a little birdie told me he's found a new place to 'do some cookin' if ya know what I mean. Anyways, he made me think of you and I realized that I'm not happy here. Omaha sucks."
"Nothing beats L.A."
"Just what I was thinking. So anyways, I was wondering if you could put me up for a bit while I get myself set up?"
"You—you're coming to L.A.?"
"Yup. I just figured you'd be cool to hang with since you could show me the place and whatnot. I mean we're practically family."
"Yup. Listen I've gotta go. Is this your number?"
"You bet. I'll let you get back to your man."
"My what? I'm in a Walgreen parking lot thank you very much."
"Fresh out of condoms, huh? It's cool, girl. I'll talk to ya later."
"Yeah."
Penny hung up and shoved her phone in her purse.
"Why the hell does everyone think I'm a slut?" she seethed.
'I was in my pajamas when you—'
"Oh. Yeah," Penny sighed as she opened her car door.
XxX
"Dr. C?" Penny said as she knocked at his apartment.
She heard the sounds of shuffling feet and sniffling come closer until the lock turned and the door opened to reveal a gaunt and shivering Sheldon wrapped in his comforter.
"Oh sweetie, you don't look good," she said softly.
"My fever hasn't broken," Sheldon replied hoarsely. "I'm trying not to dehydrate but I'm unsure of my fluid intake-outtake ratio."
"I've got your Vaporub and some Halls and some chicken soup." Penny held out the bag and he took it; for an instant their fingers touched and she could feel their icy coldness. "Hey, if you want I can make the soup at my place and bring over a bowl."
"Your place is teeming with germs," he sniffled.
"Okay well I was just offer—"
"You'll have to heat it here," he said and with that moved away from the door to his lawn chair.
Penny stood stunned in the hall before getting a hold of herself and entered his apartment. She closed the door and sanitized her feet before padding over to the physicist.
"Okay let me get the soup and—"
"Wash your hands," he said firmly. "The bathroom's down the hall."
"Sure thing." She went to the washroom and was nearly bowled over by the smell of bleach as she opened the door. Taking a breath she entered and proceeded to wash up. God this place is spotless. Everything shone, from the floor tiles to the chrome of the faucets. Combined with the smell it reminded her of a hospital, more clinical than homey. In fact, as far as she saw clinical pretty much described his entire apartment.
"Okay Dr. C," she said cheerily as she returned to the living room. "Just tell me where—" On the counter was a pot and lid, can opener, bowl and tablespoon. "Oh. Okay. Thanks."
Penny got busy and in no time the soup was heating on the stove. She looked to her neighbor who sat shivering in his chair.
"Isn't there somewhere more comfortable you could be?" she asked.
"My bed."
"Why don't you get into bed and I'll bring you the soup?"
"Because no one can be in my room," he said adamantly before coughing.
"No problem. We'll stay out here."
"Of course my room is already contaminated," he said slowly. "I'll have to sanitize it regardless if you enter." He stood. "I'll get a tray and leave my door open."
"Sure thing." She watched him shuffle off.
After a few minutes and an occasional stir the soup was ready and she poured some into the bowl before taking it to his room.
"Soup's on," she said brightly and stepped into what she could best describe as a pre-teen's bedroom. While everything was neat as a pin Penny noted that Sheldon had Superman bed sheets and framed comic books on his walls. "Here ya go." She set the soup on his tray as the physicist sat up in bed.
"What kind is it?" he asked.
"Chicken noodle."
"With little stars in it?" he said hopefully.
"Uh, no."
Sheldon wriggled his nose as he peered into the hot mix.
"You said you had to keep your fluids up," Penny reminded him.
"Point." He took his spoon and gracefully dipped it into the soup before bringing it to his lips. "This isn't low sodium," he said, making a slight face.
"Just work with me will ya? I'll get you the right soup next time."
"Should I survive this encounter," he muttered. Penny rolled her eyes.
As Sheldon ate Penny looked around his room. There was an assortment of action figures and toys on his dresser and shelving unit which also held a whole whack of comic books.
"There's your Green Lantern guy," she said as she indicated the action figure on his shelf. "Who's the dude in the red suit?"
"That 'dude' is the Flash," he replied between mouthfuls.
"Ah. I guess he has something to do with electricity." She caught Sheldon's glare. "Well he's got a lightning bolt on his chest."
"The Flash possesses super-speed. He can move, think and react at light speed as well as having superhuman endurance that allows him to run incredible distances." Sheldon paused to take a sip of soup. "He can vibrate so fast that he can pass through walls akin to quantum tunneling and travel through time."
A smirk came to Penny's face. "So how does he keep his clothes on?"
"He has an invisible aura around his body that prevents both his physical body and clothing from being affected by air friction as he moves at high speed."
"How convenient." Here she chuckled. "Then again comics are read by kids. Though it'd be funny calling him the Streaker."
"I'm finished with my soup," he said crisply and Penny took the tray albeit with a grin. "Rinse the bowl and leave the tray on the counter. I'll sterilize it later."
"Yes boss." The waitress did as she was told and after washing up in the bathroom returned to see her neighbor.
"All's done, kiddo," she said. "So anyways how do you want to do the door? Should I leave it unlocked or will you get up?"
"My keys are in the drawer," Sheldon replied as he settled himself in the covers. Penny retrieved them, noting the blue box-like keychain labeled 'Police Box'.
"Okay, well—"
"You're leaving me now?" he said a tad panicky.
"I've gotta tidy up my apartment from last night."
"As you haven't bothered to clean your apartment since I've known you, I can't see why it's now a priority."
"I have cleaned my apartment, smartiboots," snapped Penny. She thought for a moment. "Once," she murmured with a tinge of a blush. "Besides, you'll be sleeping so there's no big deal."
Sheldon reached across for his phone.
"Give me your number so I can text you to come over," he said with a sniffle.
"626 756 1534." Penny turned to go. "Have a good sleep and—"
"Can you rub the Vaporub on my chest?"
"You're kidding."
"It makes my hands smell funny," he pouted.
"I don't really—"
"Pleasepleasepleasepleaseplease—"
Penny sighed and returned to the bed and sat.
"You're a grown man who lives by himself. You can't tell me you haven't taken care of yourself when you're sick," she said with a crooked smile.
"Not this sick, no." He paused. "Well except when I was fifteen in Germany. That didn't end well as the housekeeper decided to treat my symptoms by giving me an enema."
"Damn."
Sheldon handed her the bottle of Vaporub before lifting up his pajama top and t-shirt. Penny stared at the pasty whiteness of his skin-and-bones chest complete with its tufts of brown hair. She raised an eyebrow and he returned her look with wide-eyed baby blues.
"I can't believe I'm doing this," she murmured as she opened the bottle and scooped out some of the medicated cream. She touched his chest and began to rub.
"No, no, counter-clockwise or my chest hair mats," he chided lightly.
"Sorry." Her fingers made a circle on his chest. She couldn't get over this as the guy who javexed his door actually wanted her to touch him. Immediately she flushed. Yeah, I guess I already touched him so this is no big whoop.
"Can you sing 'Soft Kitty'?" he sniffled.
"What's that?"
"A song my mom sang to me when I was sick."
"I can't say I know it, sweetie."
"I'll teach you." He cleared his throat and sang hoarsely: "'Soft kitty, warm kitty, little ball of fur; happy kitty, sleepy kitty, purr purr purr.'" He stared at her earnestly. "Now you."
"Are you sure you're a world class physicist?" she asked, garnering a glare. With a slight incredulous shake of the head she began:
"Soft kitty, warm kitty…." Penny stopped, trying to remember the rest.
"Little ball of fur. Keep rubbing."
"Little ball of fur," she chuckled. "Sorry."
"Again."
"Soft kitty warm kitty, little ball of fur…."
XxX
The landline phone was in the middle of ringing as Penny came out of the washroom after washing her hands.
"God, this stuff does smell funny," she grimaced as she made for the door.
The answering machine clicked in:
"Hello Shelly, this is yuhr mother. Still haven't heard back from yuh an' ah somehow doubt the Good Lord has silenced yuhr yap so yuh better call me back or—"
Penny paused before darting to the phone.
"Hello, Mrs. Cooper?"
"Yes. Who am ah talkin' tuh?"
"My name's Penny. I'm Dr. Cooper's neighbor."
"Nice tuh meet yuh. Is muh son home?"
"Yeah, but he's in bed."
"Ah see."
"Uh, I mean he's sick. Sick in bed."
"How sick is sick?"
"He's got the flu."
"Poor Shelly. He never liked bein' alone when he was sick."
"Still doesn't."
"Thank yuh for takin' care of muh son. He can be a right handful."
"Yeah I noticed. … Listen, I know it's none of my business but I kinda gathered that Dr.— uh, Shelly, hasn't been talking to you lately."
"Quieter than a church mouse on a Sunday."
"… A lot's been happening and I think you should know. … Shelly lost his job at the university and…."
xTBBTx
Wikipedia: William Wallace; Flash